Release the Hounds

January 16, 2009 at 9:41 am 8 comments

There are some people out there that hate their jobs. Now, I’m not talking about the normal I-don’t-want-to go-to-work-today kind of hate. We all have that. I’m talking about the I-would-rather-be-skinned-alive-with-a-rusted-razor kind of hate. The kind of hate that actually makes someone shoot fire out of their eyes. Those kind of people are scary. It’s especially bothersome when these type of people are in the service industry. We’ve all been there, I’m sure. All you do is ask for a Frosty and for some reason the man on the other side of the counter is offended that you’ve interrupted him from his pity party. He glares at you, yells a nasty “What?!” in your direction, and proceeds to place your order as if you’ve just insulted his mother. You then question if you should actually consume the Frosty. I’m sure there is a button on the register that says “I Hate Customer; Spit in Food” so that the guy in the back gets this message without us ever knowing about the interaction.

 

Last night we went to the dog tracks with my brother, sister-in-law, and some friends. It was 50 cent Thursday. 50 cent beer, hot dogs, popcorn, cokes, and $1 margaritas. It’s a great, cheap thing to do. So we all get there and the guys discuss how many hot dogs they are going to buy. (Because, apparently, when hot dogs are 50 cents, calories or gag reflexes don’t matter.) My brother volunteers to go get the first round. He walks up to the counter (to avoid confusion, in the following stories my brother is playing the role of Innocent Customer and the hot dog vendor is playing the role of Fire Breathing Hot Dog Lady):

 

Innocent Customer: Hi. I need to get 8 hot dogs.

Fire Breathing Hot Dog Lady: We aint got none. Period.

Innocent Customer: (looking at the giant pot of boiling weenies) Umm, well what are those?

Fire Breathing Hot Dog Lady: They ain’t done yet.

Innocent Customer: But they will be done sometime? So you actually do have some hot dogs. Yes?

Fire Breathing Hot Dog Lady: They ain’t done, thirty mo minutes.

 

By the way, to get the full effect, you should stand up and put your hand on your hip, slouch, and maybe smack some gum as you are reading the Fire Breathing Hot Dog Lady parts. I think you will have more pity on the poor, innocent customer. So Justin comes back defeated (but not entirely, he was able to get a glass of Shiner draft for a mere 50 cents, so we all know he was slightly optimistic.) He tells me that he wishes he would have had the time to discuss the meaning of a period with this woman… we both agree that she should have said “We ain’t got none. Comma.” We’d even agree to ignore the usage of “ain’t” and a double negative. It’s the Period that really made the difference. Anyways, a few races pass and the stomach growling becomes unbearable. It was time to try again. Now, my brother is a big man. He’s also a loud man. So I halfway expected this lady to be somewhat polite. Oh what a fool I am!

 

IC: I need to get 8 hot dogs.

FBHDL: We ain’t got 8.

IC: Okay, well how many do you have?

FBHDL: (opens drawer) We got 7.

IC: Okay, I’ll take 7.

FBHDL: (grabs hot dogs, slams them on tray) You get 6.

 

Justin dodged the fire breath, took his tray, and bought two more beers.

Entry filed under: Family, Nights Out. Tags: .

I… uh… one year… uh… money? Boys Will Be Boys

8 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Justin Rosenhagen  |  January 16, 2009 at 10:39 am

    Yea that’s pretty much how it went. I feel like I got jipped out of at least a dozen hotdogs. That’s only 6 bucks.

  • 2. Jimbo  |  January 16, 2009 at 11:36 am

    I guess this is more for your brother Chelsea but, do you think she did it intentionally or just didn’t know any better? (And your brother is an intimidating guy…I am amazed!)

  • 3. Lyndsey  |  January 16, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    That made me laugh really hard. I pictured that entire scenario in my head. I laughed out loud… at work.

  • 4. Rachel  |  January 16, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    How did you control your laughter? Because I can pretty much picture Justin’s face as he looks at the pot of weenies and I’m dying laughing. Another classic blog… you’re making it too easy to procrastinate on my days off!

  • 5. Mom  |  January 16, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    I CAN see Justin standing there talking to that lady! Too Funny! I know he was p—– off cause he was missing out on the CHEAP food! Oh, how much fun that evening must have been!

  • 6. 100th Post « Roots and Rings  |  May 26, 2009 at 9:17 am

    […] Release The Hounds […]

  • 7. Who’s Your Daddy? «  |  June 17, 2009 at 9:12 am

    […] have the time of his life. If you haven’t been reading my blog since the beginning, check out this post. This was our last experience at the dog tracks. Hopefully Firebreathing Hot Dog Lady doesn’t […]

  • 8. 100th Post | Roots and Rings  |  March 16, 2015 at 7:58 am

    […] Release The Hounds […]

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