Diagnosis: Ignoritis

January 26, 2009 at 9:07 am 9 comments

This was one of those eventful weekends that provided many blog-worthy events. “Chelsea, how in the world did you decide?” Well friend, it was tough. I chose this topic because, honestly, there is no better way to start your week than with a great Stephenism.

 

I thoroughly enjoy a clean, well decorated house. I don’t actually have a house with those qualities, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them. For those of you who have never visited Hurst Castle, we have 4 bedrooms. Four bedrooms, two people. You may think, “What do you possibly do with that much extra space?” I’ll tell you. We fill it with crap. We don’t throw anything away. We shove it into an extra bedroom and shut the door. It’s awful and embarrassing and we both hate it. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t one of those people who are scared of the trashcan. I’ll blame my frugal father. He always has a use for something. Old kitchen cabinets? Don’t throw them away, those are great for garage storage! Extra garage door lying around? That’ll be a perfect roof for my wood storage area! Extra orange church pew? Bring it over, that’ll look excellent in our sun room.

 

So when the good Lord blesses me with a desire to clean out, I do not ignore His voice! Those moods are few and far between. Of course when I approach a closet or bedroom, I’m completely overwhelmed and don’t know where to begin. I start doubting my ability to throw things out. How God? How do you expect me to do this?? Don’t you know who my father is? You can’t possibly think I could put that aside and throw out this perfectly good Rubbermaid drawer set?! I know its purple and pink and sparkly. I know the middle drawer’s handle is broken off. I know the top drawer doesn’t open if there is anything sitting on top of it. I know! But what if I need it some day??So this is the pattern. I keep crap, I flirt with the idea of throwing it out, I wimp out, and I don’t think about it for a while. I ignore it. We’ll call this “Ignoritis.”

 

I didn’t realize how common this Ignoritis was. But my wonderful husband was also experiencing it this weekend. Just so you know, as Stephen as my witness, I never make these stories up. He really is that hilarious. So below is the encounter when I was able to diagnose my husband with Ignoritis.

 

Sunday afternoon, sitting on the couch. (I’m C, he’s S… you know, in case that was hard to figure out.)

 

C- So are you going to go hang that thing in the hallway for me?

S- puts head down and closes his eyes… long pause

C- Um, are you praying over this decision?

S- another long pause, turns head slightly, cracks open eye and looks at me. Well, no, I was just hoping you’d forget.

 

Much like a toddler, Stephen assumed that if he closed his eyes, I would go away. The to-do list would go away. The responsibility would go away. And as ridiculous as it is, I’d argue that most of us do that. (Except the freaks out there that actually do have a pristine house and are friends with the trashcan.) If I want the mess to go away, I close the door… somehow assuming that it will forget it needs to be cleaned.

 

So it was a long weekend of prying open those eyes. Of course when you’ve been shutting your eyes for as long as I have (and with such great strength), it takes longer than a weekend to truly address the issue. I’m trying to face my vicious disease head on. I’m armed with black industrial trash bags and a vision for the future.

 

And mark my word, I will do everything in my power to hide our bags of trash from my dad.

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Entry filed under: Chelsea, Family, Hurst Castle, Stephen. Tags: , , .

You Say ‘Weird’… I Say ‘Unique’ Long Lived The Kar

9 Comments Add your own

  • 1. osarah  |  January 26, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I’m somewhere in between a pack rat and being able to throw things out. John, on the other hand, has no qualms with throwing things out. Sometimes, I just have to let him throw out that half-used package of furniture pads (the ones that help prevent scratching). He says we’ll buy a new one when we need it, but I have this voice in me that says “no! you must hold onto it, because even though it’s taking up space and you likely won’t need it for at least a year or two, you WILL need it again. And then you’ll have to buy another package, which is a waste!”

    Sigh…I’m getting better though!

    And also, I laughed a lot over the Stephenism. I think my 2 favorites that I’ve heard are the one about the Milkshake song and the one about that old plastic cup he brought into your marriage. :o)

  • 2. The Husband  |  January 26, 2009 at 2:05 pm

    It was a glass McDonalds cup with Garfield and Odie, a classic collectable if I do say so myself!

  • 3. Lindsay  |  January 26, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    OMG HILARIOUS! That stuff about dad…sooo true!

  • 4. Veronica  |  January 26, 2009 at 2:40 pm

    Haha. So really, I’m jealous of your four bedrooms. Right now, all Jake and I have is a tiny office with no door. This is where all our crap goes. Right now it’s filled with shoes and all sorts of Christmas things. I’m looking forward to moving into our house and having way more room to pack stuff away in 🙂

  • 5. mom  |  January 26, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    I sure hope your dad sees this….it is soooooo perfectly written. You two are hoots! (Sorry, I used to throw more than I do away but since I have been married for 28 years to the keeper of EVERYTHING – well I am failing miserable!) Hang in there – you can do it!

  • 6. Jimbo  |  January 26, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    Love it! When Sarah (my wife Sarah, not the German Sarah!) sees this she will say “EXACTLY!” We have toyed with the idea of “you bring something into the house, something has to go out” but we haven’t taken the plunge.

  • 7. Rachel  |  January 26, 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Oh Kurt. 🙂 And your mom better hope your dad doesn’t see this blog, because he’ll drive over to Pearland to look through your garbage and bring home whatever he thinks is salvageable.

    Although hard to do, my grandpa might be able to one up Papa Rosenhagen. My grandma won’t let him go to the dump or the compost site because he BRINGS STUFF HOME! Last time it was two desks… both disgusting and unusable… but he thought my uncle might want one. My uncle, the stock broker, perfectly capable of buying his own desks, might want one from the compost site. Oh Lee.

  • 8. Matt  |  January 27, 2009 at 8:44 am

    please tell my mom about this pack rat disease.

  • 9. jfowens  |  January 28, 2009 at 8:59 am

    I tried to explain to my wife that its not a waste to throw something out that you wont need for another two years. See… when you live in a place as small as ours, its worth it to pay another 2 bucks in a year for a product you threw out. Why? Well it takes up space, and just think, you only had to pay 2 dollars to get that space back for a whole year! 🙂 That is a pretty good monthly rate if you ask me!

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