Loser Week 5: Look How Sweaty He Is
I knew this episode was going to be good when Jillian yelled at Aubrey in the first 5 minutes of the show. Oh Jillian!
The episode began with the returning contestants weighing in. I wasn’t sure what to expect. They had been gone for 30 days. What is reasonable weight loss for this sort of competition? The range of numbers fell from 2-25 pounds. Aubrey was the sad contestant who only lost 2 pounds. She started making excuses and said that even though she hadn’t lost much weight, she was stronger and had more endurance. Jillian called her out and told her to stop sugar coating it… she had only lost 2 pounds… in 30 days. I don’t know about you but my weight fluctuates about 5 pounds regularly. So, Aubrey, losing 2 pounds does not prove that you worked out for 4 hours every day. It proves that you didn’t drink as much water today, or maybe you took a good trip to the restroom. No more excuses. (Side note, the blue team got immunity this week since Sione lost the most weight at home… these cousins are awesome.)
This was one of the more creative and entertaining challenges. Each contestant was roped to their partner. That rope was attached to another long rope that was wrapped around a giant metal beam hundreds of times. (Imagine the way the rope and ball get wrapped around the pole in the game Tether Ball… only the pole is horizontal.) The teams had to unwrap themselves until they had enough slack to run to the finish line. There were quite a few people climbing on to the bar and then falling off. I’m not going to lie, I laughed at this. Shockingly, the yellow team (Aubrey and Amanda) won this challenge. I really thought it would be the blue team (Sione and Filipe). The prize for this challenge was either $5000 (which caused Joelle to almost poop her pants with excitement) or a 2 pound advantage at the next weigh in.
The last chance workout was pretty enjoyable. Nobody threw up. I don’t think there were any tears. Carla worked her butt off, Joelle watched. The blue team continued to amaze everyone, Joelle watched. Shannon was told to carry Sione across the gym, at which she replied, “Look how sweaty he is…”, I laughed, Joelle watched.
Finally, the weigh in. I don’t think there were any that were incredibly shocking. I’m continually impressed with Team Black. Blaine lost another 9 pounds and Dane lost another 11. They consistently lose high numbers. We learned that in the 5 weeks on campus, they’ve lost 140 pounds. That’s impressive. Note that I said that none of the contestants were particularly shocking… so when I say the Joelle lost ZERO pounds, hear that I am not shocked. It ended with Team Silver (the Silver bullet, really? is that an appropriate name for their performance? maybe because they kill and wound everything in their path with their laser eyes and fire spit…) and Team Brown below the yellow line. I bet you can all guess how that went. Team Brown cried and gave another heartwarming plea. My favorite line: “100% of this team wants to be here.” Team Silver on the other hand… well… it didn’t go well. They obviously ended up getting voted off but lets address a few things here…
-Aubrey is not nice. She’s been back on the ranch for one week and she already thinks she is the Queen B. I don’t know why she thinks she can yell at Joelle for making excuses when she herself only lost TWO POUNDS IN THIRTY DAYS. This seems like a situation of the pot calling the kettle fat. I love her sister Amanda, so I’m not ready for them to go. Maybe Bob can organize a martial arts training for the whole house and someone can accidentally judo chop her in the vocal cords…
-Let’s discuss the Silver girls for a second. Yes, Joelle is lazy. And quite honestly, I think she has a few screws lose. She needs to see a doctor (and a financial planner). But there is no excuse for the way Carla talks to her. That’s not friendship. Rewind back to episode one… before we knew Joelle was a crazy lady. Carla was extremely condescending and patronizing to her. We now know that they haven’t spoken in months. Good for Joelle. Yes, she owes Carla an apology for her laziness (although I think she may not understand that she was lazy, she may honestly believe that she gave it her all) but Carla owes her a million apologizes for the way she treated her and attacked her character. I’m anxious to see how they look at the finale. However, I’m not looking forward to everyone yelling at her again. Hopefully the producers will try to focus on another story and understand that those sort of attacks will end up killing Joelle.
I hope you enjoyed last night’s episode. I sure did. Looking forward to next week, as usual.