Questions for God

March 26, 2009 at 10:04 am 7 comments

I’m sick today. I haven’t figured out if it’s a cold or allergies. All I know is that it’s not fun. I have no idea what brought it on and no idea how to get rid of it. Sleeping really isn’t an option because everytime I’m horizontal, my nose clogs and my heads gets closer to exploding. So I’m just at work, sulking and moaning.

 

Since I didn’t sleep much last night I just laid in bed and tossed and turned. I blew my nose a million times. I moaned. And I thought. I first started thinking about how much it sucks to be sick and I wanted to ask God where all of this mucus is coming from. Then I started thinking of more questions. Below are a list of other questions I’d ask God if He came to my house for dinner.

 

If oranges are supposed to be good for you when you’re sick, couldn’t you have made them less citrus-y. It’s burns my sore throat!

 

My nose is running constantly. The only way to get rid of the snot is to blow my nose. This unfortunately makes my nose really sore. Do you see my problem?

 

Did you mean for people to eat mushrooms? I can’t possibly think that this was part of your plan. They are fungus.

 

When we are young we want kids but don’t have much money to support them. When we are older we have money but no kids to support. Not sure how to fix this, but you are God, be creative!

 

The way a turkey’s head looks is disgusting. Was it an accident? It looks like you forgot to cover it with skin.

 

Why do some weeds look like flowers? I think they are pretty but I feel like they should be pulled. What’s that about?

 

I started getting gray hair at age 20. Do you really think that’s old?

 

Migraines are of the devil. Can we agree on that?

 

Why don’t vegetables taste better? Some of them are just awful!

 

Why is it so easy to gain weight but so hard to lose it? This just doesn’t seem fair.

 

What’s the deal with hormones?

 

I’m sure I have a million more but I can’t really think straight right now. Do you have any? I could stand to be entertained right about now! I hope you’re all having a better day that I am!

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Loser Week 12: All About You Having a Productive Friday

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ashley  |  March 26, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    dear God, why does it feel like when one thing goes wrong suddenly everything else goes wrong too?

    b/c that was exactly how my yesterday went. grrrrrr.

  • 2. Sarah Johnson  |  March 26, 2009 at 1:33 pm

    Why don’t dogs come potty trained?
    Can’t the Rangers win a World Series?

  • 3. Lindsay  |  March 26, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Why must there be snow in the midwest. I don’t think it’s necessary.

  • 4. Matt  |  March 26, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    @ Sarah Johnson -> nuhuh. sorry.

    and the burning is the best part of citrus-y juices when you have a sore throat! drink cranberry juice!

  • 5. Mom  |  March 26, 2009 at 10:46 pm

    Are roaches REALLY necessary, God? Are they THE cure for cancer or something like that cause I cannot see how they could be possibly good for ANYTHING!

    Why does vomit smell so bad? I mean, you already feel bad and then you vomit and that makes you feel even worse cause it smells SOOOO BAD!

  • 6. Veronica  |  March 27, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    haha this was great! i specially liked the “we are poor now and want kids one” jeez i think about that ALL the time! makes no sense! here’s one i got: why is it that the “work week” is 5 days and not 4, or 3 for that matter?

  • 7. Chelsea Hurst  |  March 29, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Many good questiions! Here are two that I received over facebook:

    I have two questions for God too and maybe you can add them to your list.
    1) What’s with Wisdom Teeth. That seems like a total error in design. Why is the human mouth too small to accommodate all the teeth. That would be like my hand being too small for all my fingers.
    2)Why not design some sort of super creature? If I was the creator and I had invented the bird, the fish, the monkey, and the human, I would have eventually combined all their best features: the human brain, the two legged walking/ running style, a set of wings for flying, a set of lungs for land, a set of gills for the water, plus the lanky arms, legs and tail of a monkey for climbing purposes. God, that would be great!

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