Archive for March, 2009

A Bonus Post, All About Pudge

If you know anything about cruising, you know that eating is a big deal. Non-stop food. If you’re hungry, find a buffet. If you’re not, suck it up and eat anyways because you’re on a cruise for crying out loud. It’s included. You don’t have to pay a dime. So put your big girl panties on and eat up!


I consumed about 2 or 3 times the amount of food than I normally do each day. On sea days, we either visited the Windjammer for a buffet or the dining hall for a nicer breakfast. On port days, it was room service all the way! And of course you don’t know what you’ll be in the mood for. Fruit? Check. Eggs? Check. Bacon? Of course, double check. Yogurt? Check. Hashbrowns? Check. Coffee? Check. Pastries? Check…. Oh my! Lunch varied too, but it was always some version of a buffet. Most days we headed to the Promenade Cafe for a slice of pizza (or two) and a dessert (or two) for snack. Then dinner at 8. A couple appetizers, an entree (or two if you are Stephen or Laura! or three if you are Justin and it’s lobster and prime rib night!) and a couple desserts. “An extra ice cream all around!”


I wouldn’t say that cruise food is exceptional. It’s really not. You can get much better food at a nice restaurant. It’s the quantity that is fabulous. Chilled apple soup with a hint of cinnamon? Sounds a lot like apple sauce to me but I’ll order it anyways! Throw in an International Cheese Platter with that and you have a pretty standard first course. Naturally since there are 8 or 9 options, some nights you may have to order 3 or 4 appetizers so you don’t feel that you’ve missed out on something. Of course at the time you don’t feel guilty for eating so much. If anything, you feel bad that you can’t eat more. “My apologies to the chef but after 2 rolls, a spinach salad, a cup of onion soup, a brie tartlet, and a NY strip, I just can’t seem to find the space for that sirloin. I’m sure it’s delicious. Can I please try that Choco-Trio dessert, though? You may as well add add a side of vanilla ice cream. No, no apple pie. Not tonight. Thank you.”


Now that I’m home. I’m disgusted. I’ve had cereal and a banana for breakfast. Salads and sandwiches for lunch. Chicken breast and salad for dinner. (With the exception of tonight of course… I’ll be at the ballpark. The nachos are calling my name!) I’m wearing my “comfy jeans.” Ladies, you know what these are. These are also my higher waisted jeans… lower jeans cut into the muffin top, and that’s not comfortable! But I’m the one to blame for this extra “fluff”. My gut didn’t inflate itself. I guess that’s just the nature of the beast. (The beast in this case is the Voyager of the Seas.) I’ve heard it put: You come as guests, you leave as luggage.


In other news, the Astros signed Pudge Rodriguez for a year contract. Yes, he’s old. And as many of you know, catcher years are much like dog years. So he’s actually climbing up into his late fifties. But he’s a great player. I’ve always been a fan of him. I can remember the days when I didn’t know the difference between him and Mike Piazza. Chelsea, how could you not tell the difference between the two of them?? Oh shut up, give me a break. I was a middle school girl for Pete’s sake! You should be proud of me for even knowing who they are. And come on, they are both catchers with weird names. And behind those masks, they all look the same. Anyways, I think he’ll be a great addition for Houston. Just his history and expertise will certainly have a positive impact on the ‘Stros!


So the moral of the day is this: Embrace the Pudge. In the end, it’s all worth it!


Your cruise photo for the day:

You can see from my dad's plate that it's lobster night. So it's possible that Justin's awkward lean is actually him crunching up from a stomach ache. Justin, would you like to tell the class how much you ate that night?

You can see from my dad's plate that it's lobster night. So it's possible that Justin's awkward lean is actually him crunching up from a stomach ache. Justin, would you like to tell the class how much you ate that night?

March 17, 2009 at 2:28 pm 7 comments

Loser Week 10: Godfather Ron

I’ve read some other reviews about this episode and many people are saying that they loved it. I’m not sure why I feel so differently. I hated it. If every episode is like this, I wouldn’t watch.


We began with a challenge. The contestants had to do wall-sits. Whoever lasted the longest had a lot of power in their hands. Of course it was Tara. She then got to match each member of the blue team against someone on the black team. I don’t remember all the match ups and it doesn’t really matter. Basically, at the weigh in you only had to beat the person you were matched up against. Whichever team won the least amount of “face offs” had to send someone home.


The other challenge was a relay. They had each team doing a number of obstacles to move 24 medicine balls to the next person. Tara is a beast. Mandi was amazing. Ron was terrible (as usual). And the black team won, again. And the black team will continue to win each challenge because the blue team is SO stupid and continues to vote off their good contestants.


I’m going to assume that everyone who reads my Loser reviews actually watches the show. (If you read it and don’t watch, why?? That’s weird!) So I’m not going to recap what happened with the whole Jillian/Filipe drama, just my thoughts. This is one of those fights that I’m not taking a side on… I’m mad at both of them. Jillian, it’s your JOB to work each contestant out. Skipping Filipe is not an option. Even if you’re jealous or bitter about the relationship he has with Bob. Get over it. Do your job. Filipe, you’re not handling the situation well. You should have said something while you were in the gym. Just say, “Hey Jillian, I’m ready for my turn.” And then she works you out, and then it’s over. But blowing up the way you did and then deciding to work out with Bob… well you’ve just caused a LOT of unnecessary drama. Your team is torn now. And in a game of TEAMS, this is huge. I’m annoyed.


So the blue team lost… surprise surprise. And they made a stupid decision… surprise surprise. In the meeting to see who they are going to vote off King Ron said, “It’s Mandi’s turn to go home.” What?! Why is Ron in charge?? Have they not noticed that he is the reason they are losing?? I still think that none of them have watched the show. Because, like complete idiots, they voted Mandi off. It wasn’t as simple as that. There was a lot of scheming. I’m not going to get into that because it doesn’t change the outcome of the voting. But basically, Mandi took the high road and helped her sister out a lot. I love Mandi and I’m really sad to see her go. Ugh, Ron.


This season is messed up. I love Bob, but his team sucks. I’m not crazy about Jillian, but her team rocks. Although after this week and their “24 hours of luxury” I’m not crazy about them. Helen, grow up. I’m not sure who I want to win at this point. I like Kristin a lot but I feel like she should be punished for her poor voting decisions. I like Sione a lot too. I like the way he carries himself and handles his anger. I guess my favorite is Mike. I’m trying to separate him from his dad. I’m really not a fan of Ron. I used to like him but somehow he’s managed to manipulate his team. Good game play, but I still don’t like him.


My opinions are all over the place and I can’t really figure out where I stand on all of this. I’m ready for the next episode so I can stop being so angry at everyone.


Oh, and I think Jillian will be gone next year. That’s my prediction. Statistically speaking, my predictions are wrong… but I’m still throwing it out there.


Dane, your departure marked the death of the blue team. Know that you are missed.


**I’m going to the Rice/UT baseball game tonight so I won’t be watching tonight’s episode. NO SPOILERS!!!!! I’ll post my recap Thursday for that one.

March 17, 2009 at 8:19 am 3 comments

Bahama Mamas and Weird Sunburns

…Back to reality.


I realize that I’m a liar. I never blogged. But can you blame me? You can be jealous of me, but you can’t blame me. I will make it up though. I promise a few additional posts this week. We watched Loser last night (worst episode of my life) so I’ll blog on that. I look forward to hearing your thoughts about it.


Since I normally blog about what’s going on in my life, my next couple weeks’ posts will probably be peppered with vacation stories. I’ll throw in a few pictures along the way. Here’s one:


This is from the first formal night. You can see that we all fit in our clothes at this point of the trip...

This is from the first formal night. You can see that we all fit in our clothes at this point of the trip...


I realize now that it’s going to take a while to get back into the swing of things. Even though the vacation flew by, a week really is a long time to be gone. This is what I came back to:

-An empty kitchen
-A pile of mail, mostly junk
-Jeans that no longer fit
-A layer of dust in my office from some replaced ceiling tiles
-A dog that won’t leave my side… or maybe I won’t leave her side… what difference does it make?
-Email. Lots and lots of email


And this is what I came back with:

-An obsession with the Twilight series
A tan Faint bathing suit lines
-Kahlua and tequila
-A broken $8 trinket from Costa Maya… courtesy of Stephen’s unawareness of the size of the beach bag he was holding
-Two CD’s of pictures


I hope everyone else had a fabulous week. If anything exciting happened, tell me!


Stay tuned.

March 16, 2009 at 12:51 pm Leave a comment

I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly

Today is Friday. That’s awesome for many reasons. First, the obvious, it’s the end of the week. We have made it out of another work week in one piece. We are one paycheck richer, and one container of soap poorer. But that’s okay, because we are done. Secondly, my SISTER comes home tomorrow. And she’s bringing her sweet friend, Lauren. For the past 6 years it’s sort of been the norm for Lindsay and I to only see each other during the summer and during holidays. I don’t enjoy that. I’m ready for her to be done with school and move home so I can see her! But as an old friend once told me, “Don’t wish your life away.” So I will be thankful for today and anticipate her arrival tomorrow. Third, tomorrow I get to see my cousin pitch again Rice play. They are playing Notre Dame at Reckling Park. It’s going to be beautiful and sunny and a perfect day for a good baseball game. Sadly, I just found out he won’t be pitching until Sunday. Big bummer.


Fourth, I’m about to leave for VACATION! Tonight I will pack, tomorrow I will clean, Sunday we will leave. We’ll be on a 7 day cruise, visiting Roatan, Costa Maya, and Cozumel. I can’t wait. There is nothing better than 7 days of doing nothing but eating, drinking, reading, and sleeping. And yes, I know… as sweet as it is for me, it’s equally as bitter for you. An entire week without Roots and Rings. What WILL you do with your time? All is not lost, my friend. While I will not be doing my normal 800 word blogs (what, you haven’t been counting?), I will post occasionally. I have a few thoughts, stories, and time-wasters saved in my drafts for such a time as this. The cost for using the internet on board is your first born child, but I’ve negotiated a deal. I’ll pay them Rookie’s first born for the minimal use of internet. And well, that’s like getting blood from a turnip. Hopefully I will be long gone and my blog will be successfully posted before they catch on.


Read the blogs listed to the right if you need to fill the void. All are entertaining, so even if I’m not leaving you with a void to fill, read them anyways. Also continue to check in and leave comments as normal. But, oh my, for the love of all things fat and entertaining, DO NOT post about Biggest Loser. PLEASE! I will watch it on my parents’ DVR next Sunday when we get back. Then we can talk on and on about the babies on the blue team and Mike’s weight loss. Agreed?


So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye!


(Now that you’re all curious, this post is 468 words.)

March 6, 2009 at 10:44 am 3 comments

PC Load Letter

The University of Texas business school is cocky. It’s a great school, really it is. But there is no way they can fully prepare you for what to expect when you leave campus. There are things you should expect when you are entering the workforce. Corporate America is a strange place and nobody is fully prepared for what it has to offer. Below are some of my observations from my internships up to my current job, feel free to add some of your own.


-Everything is called a “project”… Especially as an intern. “Chelsea, I have a project for you. I need you to make 20 copies of this and 20 copies of that. Then collate them. Thanks.”


-The toilet paper sucks.


-Kolache Fridays are glorious. Everyone is friends on kolache Fridays!


-You get really annoyed when someone brings something stinky for lunch.


-I really feel like I know some of these people more than their spouses and kids do. I know what they eat for breakfast and lunch. I know the rotation of their clothes. I know what they think is funny and what makes them annoyed. I know their bathroom schedule. I know if they didn’t sleep well the night before. Basically, I know too much.


-PC Load Letter actually shows up on printer/faxes. I have seen it with my own eyes.


-Offices are considered “decorated” if you have a family picture and a small plant. How depressing.


-At least once a week, someone doesn’t show up for work because they are in jail. (Wait, does that not happen at every company?)


I guess my company is a bit different than many, I think it’s mostly the industry. It’s common here for people to cuss, smoke, and dip. It’s normal to show up in jeans and a t-shirt… and in some cases, sweatpants and a shirt with holes. There are a ton of moody people here. On any given day, there is someone here that you aren’t allowed to talk to because they are in a bad mood. We don’t have annual reviews, vacation request forms, a shared computer drive, or an easy way to get office supplies. It’s not that these things are necessary, but they are often useful. (Read here to see how helpful an annual review would have been.)


Another thing we have at our office is crappy hand soap. It’s thin and smells nasty. It dries your hands out. I hate it. So I took the liberty of bringing in better soap. I started with the Coconut Lime soap for Bath and Body Works. I love that soap. It reminds me of my community group in Austin (specifically Jim and Veronica). I was at the mall last weekend and decided I’d get a few more flavors. I bought 3 new soaps and brought them to work. If you work in an office, you know how exciting this is. New soap! In fun flavors! Yes! So everyone took their turn to go to the bathroom and try out the new soap. We keep the nasty pink and one new soap on the counter. The others waited patiently in the cabinet for their turn. On Tuesday afternoon I went to the restroom and something was different. There was no soap on the sink. I opened the cabinet. The others were still there waiting patiently but the missing ones weren’t in there either. I reported back to one of my co-workers in an email. I told her we have a thief on our hands. There was no ransom note and we have very few leads.


College kids, many people tell you that work can be boring. Nothing is exciting, the same things happen day in and day out. That may not be true. You may be lucky enough to work in a place with a soap thief!


Honestly, who steals soap??

March 5, 2009 at 9:38 am 7 comments

Loser Week 9: Neuroticism Looks Good On You

Last night was all about unfinished business. I think I need to find someone with the inside scoop because I was left extremely dissatisfied last night. I went into the episode with two questions… 1. How was Bob going to react to his team’s decision to vote off Dane? 2. Who was going to be next? Would the next team make a stupid decision as well?


I didn’t get my answers. For some reason, they didn’t show Bob’s reaction. I’m going to guess that this was the first time in Biggest Loser history that they haven’t shown the trainer meeting up with his team. I think this is lame. I’m dying to know how he reacted. I thought for a while that maybe it was too controversial. But this show likes controversy. So why now show it? I haven’t googled it so I don’t know if there are any answers out there.


Instead we started with a challenge. Rocco came back for a cooking challenge. Each team had to make a healthy version of a hamburger, burrito, and pizza. The winners would receive dinner cooked by Rocco. The losers had to do the dishes. The Black team won. It wasn’t very exciting.


The blue team headed to 24 Hour Fitness for a Shadowbox class. Little did they know, Sugar Ray Leonard was going to be leading the class for them. It looked like they had a great time. Once again though, not too exciting.


Jillian decided she need to sit down with Sione so they could get on the same page. He was still upset about leaving Bob and she needed him to commit to her. Then they went to work out. She did some intense circuit training with him until he rolled his ankle and fell. They made it look awful. They interviewed some of his teammates and they all talked about how important he was to the team. Filipe said, “I thought, ‘oh no, what are we going to do if he’s out all week?'” So I honestly thought we’d find out he’d be out the rest of the season. Jillian said she’s going to need an MRI on his ankle. End scene.


Next scene, all of the contestants are walking up to a food bank. (Sione walking, no crutches, no more discussion of his ankle… what?) Now it was time for their big challenge of the week. Bag up food kits, run them to the other side of the warehouse, and load them into the truck. Whoever loaded 150 first, wins. The prize this time was great. Free groceries for a year and letters from home. It was a close game but the black team won. So then the black team celebrated and the blue team cried. I can’t even tell you how many times I yelled at the blue team, “You shouldn’t have voted of DANE!!!” (Mom, Stephen, did ya’ll keep count?)


I think I’ve bragged on Mike a lot this season, but he really is a great kid. Since he’s on the black team, he won a year of free groceries. But then… wait for it… (Vicky and Heba, this is why we still talk about how awful you two were)… he GAVE his prize to Aubrey because she has 5 kids. He even said, “Will you allow me to give this to you?” He was so sweet, being very careful not to offend her. And while I’m tooting his horn, let me just say that this kids looks great!! He is going to be so handsome! He has the cutest smile and he is just so darn sweet. Mike, you said you’re a bit neurotic… the title of this post is for you.


During the last chance work out, Jillian tore Laura apart. I don’t really want to get in it to much. Let’s just say that she was trying to break her down so that she’d put forth some effort. I’m torn. Although I think she was pretty brutal, I also think she knows that she’s doing. Jillian may be part crazy, but she’s good at her job. We’ll see next week. But I think she may have gotten through to Laura.


Now to the weigh-in. There was a twist (surprise surprise). They’d all weigh in as one big group. They had to lose an average of one pound per day, per person. So a total of 77 pounds. If they did this, they all won immunity. If they didn’t, one person from each team had to go. The weigh-in didn’t start off well. There were a few 4 pounders and even a 3 pounder. Sione didn’t lose much (and I believe we’ll see some emotions from him and Filipe next week about that). So everyone had weighed in except Mike. They needed 9 pounds. He got on the scale and the numbers started beeping…. to be continued….


Dear Producers,

You have loyal viewers. I stuck around through the drama of Heba and Vicky last year even though I wanted to vomit every time I saw their faces. I stuck around two years ago even though those blue brothers cried all the time. However, if you keep changing things and pissing us off, we’re not going to stick around. I need to know important details: how did Bob react? what is wrong with Sione’s foot? is Laura mad at Jillian or did they really make up? how much did Mike lose? These are important details. You’re walking on thin ice here. Read the blogs and find out what your viewers want to see… without us, you’re nothing.

Your Loyal Viewer (Unless You Keep Pissing Me Off),


March 4, 2009 at 9:53 am 5 comments

Fearing the Offering Plate

As children we are fed many bits of information. Some true. Some not so true. Some bits of information are omitted completely. If we fall asleep with gum in our mouths, will we really get gum in our hair? What if we swallow it? Will it be stuck in our system for 7 years? Should we even chew it to begin with or will it rot our teeth? And now, as an adult, how do you feel about this? Obviously we don’t go to sleep with gum in our mouths and I’d hope that most of you don’t make a habit out of swallowing gum. But there are many bits of information (or lack thereof) that effect us.


Just the other night I was playing Chipmunk Chase during therapy. It’s actually a creepy looking game. There are these three giant chipmunks that run out and open a scroll. On the scroll is either an E or an arrow. Whichever direction it is facing, I have to push the corresponding arrow. Then the chipmunk will run away, leaving a nut behind. Most of the nuts were pretty standard looking nuts. Then there was this metal thing. And one night I was like, “Ah ha! I get it! Nuts and bolts! That’s a bolt!” I gave myself a little “hip hip hooray” for being so clever. When I was playing the other night Stephen came in to check on me. He looked at the screen and was like, “Ha! Clever. Nuts.” Trying to maintain my concentration, I scowled and said, “What? I thought those were bolts. Like nuts and bolts, you know?” You know, like maybe I can convince him that I actually know the difference between a nut and a bolt… “Um no Chelsea. Those are nuts. Not bolts.” Oops.


This is only the beginning. I have many stories that make me question how I ever got a sane man to agree to marry me. The sad part is how these effect you for the rest of your life. Examples following:


-I can remember the first time I saw Catch Me If You Can. Remember the part when Leonardo DiCaprio is pretending to be a doctor? One of the other doctors says something and asks, “Well, do you concur?” And Leo replies, “I concur.” Now I wasn’t that young when this movie came out. But I had no idea what “concur” meant. By context clues I knew it meant either “understand” or “agree”…. to this day, I can never remember which one. I never use the word. And I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t either. Once the word comes out of your mouth, I no longer pay attention to what you’re saying. I just try to figure out if you’re meaning to agree or understand.


-My dad keeps this silver radio in the bathroom by his sink. Every morning he turns it on as he’s shaving and getting ready. I hate this radio. Actually, I loathe this radio. One time when I was little, I was taking a shower in their bathroom. I had to have been only about 6 because we had a babysitter and she was in the bathroom with me. When I was drying off she had to run into the other room for something and said, “Okay, I’ll be right back. DO NOT touch that radio or it will electrocute you.” I still have not touched it.


-I was born and raised in a good church-going family. Every Sunday when I was little, I’d get dressed up in a nice dress, socks with ruffles, and shoes that were uncomfortable. Then I’d go to church and since quietly in the pew with my family. Every week they’d pass the offering plate and every week I’d watch it go by. At one point in my childhood, my mom told me that I can’t touch it because if I do, everything will fly out. Obviously she meant that the plate was heavy and since I was small, it would be hard for me to hold it. And she was right, there was a great chance that I would drop it. However, I did not see it that way. I thought that if I touched it, everything would literally fly out of the plate as if I’d turned on an enormous fan underneath the plate. I realized how much this effected me two weeks ago when Stephen got mad at how quickly I grabbed the offering plate out of his hands. He wasn’t even holding the rim! He had his hand on the bottom. That plate could teeter over any second, leaving envelopes, cards, and coins all over the place. In my mind, I’m just trying to prevent a catastrophe. In all actuality, I have a deep rooted fear of the offering plate. I was just trying to save my wonderful husband from falling victim to it’s tricky ways.


I recently told my parents about my fear of the radio. They had no idea. I will take this bit of wisdom into parenthood. I will do my best to not say blanket statements that may scar my children for the rest of their lives. But I will never, ever let them touch their grandpa’s silver radio.

March 3, 2009 at 10:34 am 14 comments

Getting a Return on Your Investment

There was a story released about Dane from Biggest Loser. (You can read it here.) The cliff’s notes version: Dane didn’t complete the marathon. He wasn’t going to make it to the finish in time for the cutoff, so a field producer drove him to the finish line so they could film him and his wife running at the end. So then he “finished” in 5:53, but because of some bad lights it looked like 3:53. This caused people to do some research and that’s how the truth was let out. My question to Dane is, what is worth it??


I think his accomplishment was amazing. And I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that the producer convinced him to do this. He even went back and finished the part he skipped so that he could say he ran the complete 26.2 miles. But now he’s got to be regretting it. Very few people will remember him as the man who ran the majority of a marathon right after leaving the ranch. They’ll remember him as the guy from Loser who cheated in the Arizona marathon. Because that’s how America is. They like controversy. Sad to say, I don’t think his efforts were worth it.


This makes me wonder. What have I worked for that wasn’t worth it? Have you ever put forth effort for something that proved to be a dud?


A few weeks ago I painted my hallway. It took me a long time to pick a color. I just couldn’t decide. The color I chose is okay. But it looks awful with the tile. The hall looks like a baby girl’s nursery. Painting is not quick. It’s not that easy. And it definitely was not worth it. We expect a return on our investments. If I spend my Saturday night painting my hallway, I want that hallway to spend the rest of it’s life looking nice for me. And I don’t think that’s an unreasonable request.


This weekend Stephen and I went to three Rice baseball games at the Minute Maid College Classic. Between late starts and long games, we spent upwards of about 14 1/2 hours at the ballpark. If you add in the time to drive to and from, park, stand in line, etc. it was that majority of our weekend. Had the games been bad, it may not have been worth it. (Who am I kidding though, even bad baseball is still baseball… ) But that wasn’t the case. All three games were fabulous. The hours we put into the weekend were more than worth it. Friday night went into extra innings before pulling out a victory over UCLA. Saturday night the Owls beat the stupid Aggies. It was glorious. This ridiculously amazing pitcher threw a two-hit complete game. And then Sunday… oh Sunday! My wonderful cousin pitched 6.1 innings and the Owls were more than victorious over the Baylor Bears. Check it out: My cousin is awesome!


Going to baseball games is not cheap. You have to pay for parking, tickets, and if you are crazy, food. Stephen and I decided we’d only eat at one game. So Saturday night Stephen decided he’d get a foot-long hot dog. I can’t think of anything more disgusting, so I decided I’d have nachos. The game before ran long so I had plenty of time to get my food. And plenty of time I would need! I walked to the top of my section. The nacho cart was only a section over but the line was already a mile long. Slowly the line got shorter and shorter. I stood there people watching and not paying much attention. I happened to spot a friend of mine so I was able to wait in line while visiting with one of my most favorite people in the world. (Too bad he was cheering for the wrong team.) After about 15 minutes, I released him and allowed him to go wait in whatever line he needed. By this time it had been about 30 minutes. I looked ahead and there were only about 5 people in front of me.  I asked the two high school boys in front of me if they knew what was going on. They ran out of cheese. And then chili. So someone somewhere was on a cheese hunt. Word on the street was that a manager was involved and there was cheese in transit. At this point I had spent over 30 minutes waiting, I wasn’t about to leave now. So after 45 minutes, it was my turn. Once I had my big bowl of calories and processed cheese in hand, I headed back to my seat. I ate like a happy fat girl and, man, it was worth it!!


Sometimes it’s not worth it. But sometimes a girl just needs her nachos.

March 2, 2009 at 9:37 am 2 comments

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