Archive for May 5, 2009
Meet the Potters
The purpose of this post is not to debate the Twilight series. Let me just throw that out there. If you haven’t read it and you’re a female who enjoys reading, get on it! And I don’t want to hear about it being too long or the writing style (Sarah) or that you don’t like that type of book. Just read it. Okay? Moving on.
As I was reading the first Twilight book, I became suspicious of everyone I encountered. All of a sudden, anyone could be a vampire. As far as I was concerned, I was Bella in a world full of Cullens. And it was my responsibility to narrow down the Cullen family tree. My sister is way too tan, she’s obviously not a vampire. My brother eats food. Lots of food. So he’s not a vampire. My grandpa? No, he grew up on a farm. And I don’t think sparkly farmers are taken seriously. Wait, maybe that’s why he quit farming and moved here. No, he eats too. Not a vampire. My friend Lyndsey? Heaven’s no. She sleeps. A. Lot. What about my dear husband? He has fair skin. He doesn’t go in the sun unless completely covered. He has black eyes. Obviously though, he’s not. While he does have a few vampirish (vampiral? vampiric? vampirian?) traits, he’s far from being a Cold One. He loves to sleep, he loves to eat. He’s aging. And he very rarely has the desire to kill me. Emphasis on the ‘rarely’… I will not go so far as to say ‘never’.
So I’m not married to a vampire. And I may not know any. And I know you’re lying if you’ve read the book and haven’t thought “Oh, maybe ______ is a vampire!” We can’t help it. We get into the story. If you watch X-Men you may walk down the street and think “I bet he’s a superhero.” Or after you watch Sixth Sense, you wonder if you are surrounded by dead people.
I never got on the Harry Potter bandwagon. Maybe one day I’ll read all 42 of those books. I’ve never really had the desire to read them but I’ve heard they are really good. I wonder if people who read those books wonder if there are wizards and witches and giant chessboards somewhere out there. I wonder how many kids have run into walls hoping that they could take a magic train to Hogwarts. Harry Potter is still a popular Halloween costume. People want to be magical. But are you magical? Does your Swiffer Wet Jet fly you to the grocery store? Does your Snuggie make you invisible? Hmm… Intriguing. Maybe Stephen is a wizard! I don’t know much about wizard characteristics. Are they hot? Cold? Do they age? Are they smart? Are they funny? Do they have to know how to play chess? I don’t know! All I know is this. Harry has a scar that means something special about something having to do with his wizard-dom. See. (I should note that I got this picture for some other blog, wasn’t sited… don’t want to break any copyright rules. I have no idea how that works…)
Well if a funny, permanent mark on your forehead is all it takes to make you a wizard, it looks like I’ve snagged myself one of those. Meet the newest member of Gryffindor:
He looks normal enough, right? Don’t be fooled though. These wizards are good at fitting in with us human-folk. Take a closer look.
See that dark spot on my hubby’s forehead? It’s been there since Sunday afternoon. I know. It’s small. Not very noticeable. Hey Stephen, will you turn your head so we can get a look at the other side of your face?

Further evidence. And the reason Stephen can no longer keep his Wizard status a secret to his friends, family, and coworkers.
So he’s either a child who somehow gets random stains on his skin, or he’s a wizard. Lets, please, go with the wizard theory.