Marital Bliss

No long story today… Just a quick explanation of why marriage is unlike anything you will ever experience.

This morning on the way to work, Stephen cleared his throat. It was one of those nasty, man throat things… where he may or may not have hacked up a hairball. In this instance, it was the former. And it was not a hairball. It was a loogie. The kind that only males know how to produce. (I think they learn this in 4th grade when the girls are in the nurse’s office learning about periods.)

C- I don’t know why you do that when you’re driving. We are on the freeway. Now you have to hold it in your mouth. Gross.

S- (almost incomprehensibly) I don’t get to choose when it happens…

Of course I think this is gross. But I’m also secretly jealous. Why don’t I know how to do that? Last week my head was so full of mucus I thought my eyes were going to pop out. I would have given my right arm to be able to get some of that out. But noooo. I’m a lady. Ladies don’t get loogies. Ugh. So anyways, we finally exit the freeway and get to a stop sign.

Stephen opens the door, spits his treasured loogie, and turns to me, apologetically, with a smile:

S- You’re pretty.