In The Movies

Sometimes I feel like I repeat myself a lot. Like a broken record. But then I remind myself that I don’t say the same things over and over… I only say them two or three times. And who doesn’t like to listen to their favorite song two or three times? Yes, I just compared myself to your favorite song. Unless your favorite song is “Poker Face”… Two or three rounds of that song will render you certifiably insane.

 

So at the risk of being redundant let me say this: I don’t like many movies. I really don’t. I don’t have a very good imagination. This is why I was never good at playing Barbies. Barbies can’t talk. And they can’t drive pink Jeeps. And they definitely can’t kiss. Their mouths don’t move. So why pretend that they can? But really, I don’t like many movies. If you put me in the middle of a conversation about Star Wars or X-Men, I will probably laugh and then promptly fall asleep. I can’t be entertained with things that could never happen. This is why I only watch chick flicks.

 

Not everything, but the majority of events that occur in chick flicks could actually happen. Maybe the jock doesn’t always turn the nerdy art student into the hottest girl in school. But I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that the jock had a crush on her. He’s a high school boy… they have crushes on everyone. And I don’t think a woman would fly to New York to find a man from Seattle. But it is possible that a woman can have an obsession with a sweet man she heard on the radio. See, there are tidbits of truth in these movies. All that other stuff is just entertainment that pulls the story together and we brush it off and say “only in the movies.”

 

Over the weekend, my two girlfriends and I witness something that, honest to God, I thought only happened in the movies. I’m not sure if this is a very bloggable story, so bear with me.

 

Friday evening we headed to the Plaza in Kansas City. We had one goal: Find a restaurant that has a good patio and excellent cocktails. We found Brio. This nice Italian place that played country music in Italian. True story. We got the best table on the patio, conveniently located by a great people-watching corner and eavesdropping valet guy. We had a clear view of all of the other tables around. Lyndsey and Kelly had the view of the other tables and the street. I have a ring, so this was my view:

 

Please take note of Lyndsey's drink. That's a Flirtini. Hold on to that info, you'll need it later.

 

And while I may have had a prime spot, Kelly had the best one. We sat dinner, nursing cocktail after cocktail and chatting it up. At one point, we asked the valet kid if he was bored. “No, not really,” he told us. So I asked, “You’re just standing there. What do you do?? A lot of quality people-watching, huh?” He nods a bit and says, “Well sort of. But there’s also a lot of good eavesdropping.” He then proceeded to tell us all that he knew about us. That should have been our first (or second or third) clue that this trip would be totally random and entertaining. We continued our discussion about something ridiculously important like our favorite colors of Opi nail polish. All of a sudden, Kelly’s jaw dropped to the floor and she desperately tried to hold in a burst of laughter. She raised her drink up to her lips to cover her mouth and softly said, “That chick just threw two drinks in her date’s face.”

 

Maybe Lyndsey and I should have handled ourselves better, but really, how could we? We turned immediately, only to see the after effects. A silent woman walking away, and a man drenched in Flirtini, wiping his face off with his napkin. He casually took off his glasses and cleaned them. His waiter awkwardly approached him… having missed the whole thing, I’m sure he was curious as to why the party of two turned into a party of one…. and why that one left was soaking wet.

 

Everyone on the patio was struggling to hold in their laughter. Nobody made eye contact. After a few minutes, the table next to us accidentally made eye contact with the man. Now there are a few ways this could go. He could be pissed. He could ignore them. He could tell us how awful she is. Instead he says, “Well that’s never happened before!” At that point, we all lost it. We started cracking up. Lyndsey yelled over to him, “So tell us what you did!!!” He says, “Well, if you can believe it, we were talking about politics.” (For the record, we don’t believe it.) She replied, “Oh, we thought you were cheating.” He looked up with a smirk and said, “Well I will now!”

 

Like I said, I’m not sure if this transferred well. Trust me, it was hilarious. I’ve never known someone who has thrown a drink in someone’s face, let alone an $8 Flirtini! Once the man left, we all discussed how bizarre it was. The lady that was sitting directly behind the Drink Thrower told us the best part. Right before she threw the water and Flirtini in his face, she sternly asked him, “Do you want to wear this?”

 

Seriously, she must’ve gotten that line straight from a movie script. I guess I can scratch that off my Bucket List:

 

-Have babies
–See someone throw a drink in someone’s face
-Go to Spain