Who’s Your Daddy?

This Sunday is Father’s Day. There’s your warning. So everywhere you turn are ads for Dad. But the problem is this: All dads are not created equal. My dad doesn’t want a new golf shirt from Dillards. He doesn’t want a flat screen television from Best Buy. (Well maybe he does but he’s not getting one.) My dad really doesn’t want anything… which really makes buying gifts for him difficult. In fact, my dad breaks most norms when it comes to dads.

On the way to work there is a restaurant that is advertising itself as a great place to take your dad for Father’s Day. This particular place has nothing on the menu cheaper than $15, except the sides which are probably $5 a pop. First of all, if we took my dad there it would quite possibly be the worst Father’s Day ever. My dad doesn’t like food in the double digits. What’s more ridiculous is that their sign said this:

“Don’t make Dad cook lunch. Make reservations here.”

Do you see my confusion without having to explain it? In case you don’t, here I go. Don’t make Dad cook lunch?? Does he normally cook lunch? “Here dad, why don’t you take a break from cooking every meal. I’d like to buy you a $35 steak instead.” I realize that there are probably some dads out there that cook, but not the vast majority. So why would they put that on their sign?

If you want to attract my dad, you need to put up something like this:

“All food 50% off!”

“Free meal with purchase of soft drink!”

“Receive a $25 gift certificate when you dine with us on Father’s Day!”

“Free food!”

If you put that on your sign, we’re there. Rosenhagen, party of 7! We’ll take one of everything, but go ahead and box up half, we’ll take that To Go.

So what are your plans for Father’s Day? Is your dad hard to shop for?

My dad leaves on Saturday for a mission trip. He takes a week each year to serve the Lord while goofing off with a bunch of junior high kids. He fits in well! So we’re celebrating on Thursday. We’re taking my dad to the Dog Tracks. Gulf Greyhound has specials every Thursday night. It’s 50 cent beer and hotdogs. And $1 margaritas. (Which basically means I’ll be having lime flavored tequila for dinner since I don’t eat tubed meat.) There are also specials on the bets but I can’t tell you what they are. I really don’t know anything about that stuff. If you’ve never been, though, you should go. Even if you are like me and don’t understand. It’s a great time!

This is a perfect event for my dad. All he really wants is quality time with his kids. Throw in discounted food and he’ll have the time of his life. If you haven’t been reading my blog since the beginning, check out this post. This was our last experience at the dog tracks. Hopefully Firebreathing Hot Dog Lady doesn’t remember Innocent Customer… I think Innocent Customer may snap if he’s denied his desired amount of hot dogs again. And if you offer discounted hot dogs to my dad, discounted hot dogs you must give him.

Happy Early Father’s Day Dad!!! I love you!