Move Over Jillian Michaels

June 26, 2009 at 9:14 am 14 comments

Buying a house is an exhausting, emotional event. Stephen and I rushed into our purchase of Hurst Castle so we didn’t have much time to freak out. (I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, so let’s blow past that.) It takes a while to get to know your house. You learn the noises, the smells, which faucets drip, which parts of the floor creak, how to properly unlock the front door, etc. There is a lot of personality in a house.

When we went to our signing, we were able to meet the son of the previous owners. (The previous owners were elderly and had passed away a year or so before. And, no, we don’t know if they died in the house. Why would you even ask that?!) So anyways, we met one of the sons and he was talking about the house. He said, “My mom took great care of that house. She used to clean the floors with a toothbrush.” I laughed a bit and in my head I thought, “That’s a bit much. Why wouldn’t she just use a mop??”

I soon found out. And I don’t feel sorry for her. She spent time on her hands and knees because she made a ridiculous tile choice. First of all, it’s white. Never buy white tile. Ever. EVER. Secondly, it has grooves and pores. So what does that mean? It means that every spec of dirt that gets tracked into our house not only gets ON the tile, it gets IN the tile. Mopping doesn’t clean out those tiny holes.

So one Saturday morning about a year ago, I saw an amazing infomercial. (That’s a bit redundant, isn’t it? All infomercials are amazing!) It was for The Shark. Have you seen this thing? It’s amazing. Check it out…


Look how happy she is! You just fill it with water, plug it in, and mop. Each time you push, the handle goes in and releases steam that cleans and sterilizes your floors. At the end, you take off the padding on the bottom and throw it in the washing machine. Amazing, right? Yeah I thought so too. So I bought one. In theory, this thing works like a charm. But in theory, your tile doesn’t have billions of pores.

The first day I bought it, I mopped every hard surface in our house. Then I sat and cried for 3 hours because you couldn’t tell the difference.

Just kidding about the crying.

It was frustrating though. The Shark worked on our brick-looking tile in our living room but failed miserably in our kitchen, bathroom, and laundry room. I decided the solution is to live with nasty floors and then shell out $200 once a year to get the kitchen professionally cleaned. We’ve lived in our house for a year and a half, we haven’t done it once. Clearly it was a good plan.

Last night, everything changed. I came home from work with a hint of a migraine. I immediately took a pill, ate dinner, and laid on the couch waiting for it to kick in. Once it kicked in I had a brilliant idea. (Drugs do that to you.) I decided I would clean the floors. I was tired of it and now was as good a time as any. I filled up a bucket with fruity smelling Pine-Sol and water, grabbed a huge thick bristled brush and a towel. I started in one corner and scrubbed. I soon realized jeans weren’t good for the job and put on some gym shorts. Thirty minutes later I changed into a sports bra. I scrubbed and sweat and scrubbed and sweat. (I don’t actually sweat, so when I say that “I sweat” I actually mean that I got hot and there may or may not have been a tiny bit of perspiration.) Two hours later, my arms were numb and my abs were sore. But my floors were clean.

I can hardly move today. But it’s worth it because I successfully cleaned the breakfast room and kitchen. I have a long way to go but I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I plan to complete the floors this weekend. My very own 2 Day Shred. Who needs Jillian?! Thirty days? Do we really need a 30 Day Shred? I guess I could stretch it into 30 days.

If I were using a toothbrush.

Entry filed under: Chelsea, Hurst Castle. Tags: , , , , , , .

How’d That Happen? Sweet Skills

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jill  |  June 26, 2009 at 10:24 am

    Omg you crack me up!! How do you not sweat?! DO TELL. And why did “they” invent white tile?! It is awful! I have white tile in my house. It was built by men. Men who are idiots and in an effort to just “hurry up and get it done,” failed to seal the grout. Do you know what this means? It means that anytime my dog has an accident on the tile, the grout is impossible to clean. I realize this is disgusting. So I steam it and use all sorts of chemicals to sanitize and/or clean it as best as possible, and then I say Hello Clorox Bleach Pen. Thank God I don’t own the house. When I move in a couple months I’ll be bleach-penning the grout for several days to avoid a million dollar charge from the company the military selected to manage their housing units, thereby ripping people off for large amounts of money. Okay, I realize my last two comments on your blog have related to urine in some way. I’ll try to do better next time. Sorry.

  • 2. Amanda  |  June 26, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Oh, this reminds me of when I was little, me and my best friend would get the kitchen floor wet and slide around on our hands and knees to clean it. Fun stuff. But it is a good workout. If I get sore from cleaning these days, I feel awesome.

    P.S. what is up with that ridiculously small smiley face on the bottom left corner of your page? I love it.

    P.P.S. Sorry if you have mentioned this in a previous post. I have been M.I.A. from the internet for a while and haven’t caught up on your posts. 🙂

  • 3. Marissa  |  June 26, 2009 at 11:31 am

    I just love it when I feel like I’ve worked out after cleaning! It’s like killing two birds with one stone!

  • 4. Debbie  |  June 26, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    holy Hades! a toothbrush?!?!?! My goodness she must have had a lot of extra time on her hands. I haven’t had time to mop my kitchen floor with a regular mop and soapy water in months…let alone clean it with a toothbrush!

    Good for you and maybe you should present the idea to Jillian…the new, housewife take on the shred! 😉

  • 5. Becky  |  June 26, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Oh my goodness you did get your workout! This is exactly why I will NEVER get white tile…especially on counterops or something. I would freak out because they would always be dirty!

  • 6. Tellie  |  June 26, 2009 at 3:02 pm

    Well I’m glad you didn’t use a tooth brush because that would have taken forever. Maybe you should consider changing the tiles? It sounds like it’s the best solution, unless you actually enjoyed cleaning it then you can leave it as is, and have tons of fun for many years to come!

  • 7. Charise Sprengel  |  June 26, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    You are too funny! I feel your pain- thankfully not really! : )

  • 8. Mom  |  June 26, 2009 at 3:58 pm

    YEA for Chelsea – I know you feel soooo good to have that done but I am soooo sorry you are sore – I bet you lost some weight doing that hard job – want to come do mine now??? 🙂

  • 9. Lauren From Texas  |  June 26, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    This post is awesome. Drugs do weird things to you. Like make you have crazy dreams (check out my latest post).

    I miss my blog friend already!! Let’s plan something before I flee the country.

  • 10. Kristin  |  June 26, 2009 at 10:03 pm

    I cleaned the windows the other day and felt it for days later. Maybe Jillian should come up with a cleaning dvd so we can get two things done at once!

  • 11. ashley  |  June 27, 2009 at 12:47 am

    Thank you so much for stopping by my blog today! I have a Shark too and I am so weird that I actually like the smell of pine sol and I don’t think my floors are totally clean unless I smell PINE LOL so in essence I agree with your posting! Have a a great weekend.

  • 12. The Husband  |  June 27, 2009 at 1:03 am

    So… yeah our tile sucks, but now it looks so clean!

    Thanks my love!

  • 13. Rachel  |  June 27, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    I hate tile. Maybe I should rephrase that… I actually hate grout.

    I had our kitchen floor professionally cleaned a couple months back and after two days they looked the exact same as they did before. I feel your pain. Ugh.

  • 14. Marie  |  June 28, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    Ooo, a way not to have to shred! I like. I like a lot.

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June 2009


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