Maybe I’m a Loser

July 30, 2009 at 9:17 am 21 comments

The past few weeks I’ve been feeling like there is something missing in my life. There’s a void. You’re probably thinking that what my life is missing is a meal with even a smidgen of nutritional value. You’re wrong, didn’t I tell you about the potato bundles? Potatoes and onions – both veggies. They count. No, that’s not what I’m missing. There is a two hour hole in my heart that can only be filled with quality television. The Biggest Loser.

Oh how I miss you Alison Sweeny. And how I miss the crazy challenges and giant scale. I do not miss Jillian, she has shown her face around Hurst Castle a few times to beat my body and make me feel guilty for phoning it in. Not really, I don’t feel guilty. I can’t keep up with her. She’s a freaking machine. But I do miss Bob. And the drama. And the glorious transformations. And the vomiting and crying. Come back to me Biggest Loser.

But, alas, I have to wait until September 15th for the next season to start.

I’m not one to fill my life with television shows. Not because I don’t enjoy them, but because I don’t like feeling like I have to be a slave to my television. I knew a girl in college that had about 8 shows that were “her shows.” You know what I mean? “Oh I’ve got to get home, my show is about to be on.” I don’t know how she had time to make friends or, you know, study. I can’t blame her for this. I would be the same way if I allowed myself to be. It all started with Friends. And for a while it was Survivor. (Back in the Colby days… can you blame me?) I used to be addicted to The Bachelor. For a few seasons I would park myself in front of the television every Monday night to see who got a rose. Not because it was an excellent show, but because I got sucked in.

A few nights ago we turned on the television and that new show “More to Love” was just starting. Know that show? Like The Bachelor, but with real life sized women. Ones that clearly don’t have any emotional baggage… I’m sure when that chick said “I am just ready to get married. Have a house and kids and all that” after sitting on a bench with this man for 5 seconds, what she really meant to say was “Hmm, I think I’d fancy a nice dinner date with you.” Stephen allowed me to watch for about 10 minutes and then I changed it after this conversation:

Girl 1: So if you make it all the way to the end, do you think you’d actually accept a ring from him?

Girl 2: Oh definitely. I could definitely see myself falling in love with him.

I’m sorry, what?! I thought this was the first episode and you’re on your first glass of champagne in your evening gown. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know how to tell you all apart at this point. You don’t even know him. He’s probably a creepy guy who lives in his parents’ basement with his Star Wars action figures and life sized Darth Vader cardboard cut out. Maybe not. Maybe his parents don’t have a basement. I shouldn’t assume.

Why did I watch? Because I need something to watch. I need one show each week to watch. I do love HGTV’s Design Star but that is on Sunday nights so that doesn’t help my mid-week desires.

Enter “I Survived a Japanese Game Show”… hello! This show is awesome. It’s hilarious and disgusting and I love it. It will never compare to my love for Loser, but it is a sufficient substitute for now.

So each Wednesday night, you know where to find me. Sitting in front of the television watching semi-respectable adults dress in cat costumes pouring sour milk over each other’s heads. Or seeing two grown men in leotards jumping off a trampoline and contorting their body into a shape on a sticky wall. It’s insane. It’s shocking. It’s brilliant. Give it a shot!


After many requests, I will be posting the cheesecake recipe on my recipe blog sometime today. I have a few other things to post on there as well. So check back later!


Entry filed under: Chelsea, Television. Tags: , , , , .

Does She Talk About Anything Besides Food? Are Maternity Clothes Only For Pregnant Chicks?

21 Comments Add your own

  • 1. timlinzrowland  |  July 30, 2009 at 9:24 am

    I L.O.V.E.D. Biggest loser and can’t wait for the next season. It became my fave when I saw Alison Sweeney on it. She is on my soap too so I knew I had to watch it. Now I just love it for all sorts of reasons! Nothing like sitting on the couch eating fattening food while watching others work so had to lose weight…gotta love it!

  • 2. Gabby  |  July 30, 2009 at 9:40 am

    It is really comedy at it’s lowest, slap stick form, but my kids LOVE Wipeout (and they don’t ‘get’ any of the announcers comments). We laugh as people walk across the planks and bouncy balls and end up in mud after talking junk about their game.
    We have talked about building a course in the backyard, because, hello.. my son would be the most popular nine year old in town.

    I am so trying the potato bundle things from Ree, YUMMY, and I am so proud you ate a vegetable!
    I am still dreaming about a chocolate cheesecake.
    Oh, and I am off the soup diet. I am going to salad, more summer friendly.
    I have Jullian’s The Shred. It is painful, and I have forsaken her and her glorious abs for a couple of weeks now, level 2 was not my friend. I found myself harboring resentment, and I cut her lose to start walking our new puppy every day.

  • 3. Ashley Brenstein  |  July 30, 2009 at 10:09 am

    I understand what you’re saying about needing a show. You don’t want too many (aka an addiction). One or two are perfect. My family watches the Japanese Game Show. There has been a lot of funny drama lately.

    If you want another shower to consider, try So You Think You Can Dance. I was never really a fan of the show until this summer, but they are having a terrific season.

  • 4. mom  |  July 30, 2009 at 10:16 am

    Too funny! I miss Loser too but mainly because I got to see my daughter and son-in-law every Tuesday night! You ARE your daddy’s girl since you like that crazy slap-stick comedy stuff…Summertime is just BAD cause all the shows are on break – I miss “The Big Bang” !

  • 5. DebbieQ  |  July 30, 2009 at 10:31 am

    HA! I was just missing Loser last night when I turned on the TV and there was nothing that caught my interest. I have to admit that I have heard about “I Survived a Japanese Game Show” but haven’t yet watched it.

  • 6. Pippy  |  July 30, 2009 at 10:56 am

    LOL @ “Star wars action figures & life sized Darth Vadar cut out”!
    I was so with you on that description, I guess that means not only do we need to work on envy, but also assuming things! lol

  • 7. Jimbo  |  July 30, 2009 at 11:25 am

    Watching the ‘stros in the middle of their chase for a playoff spot can’t substitute for the Biggest Loser until September 15th? Rather than submitting yourself to the torture that is primetime network television during the summer, watch a ballgame! 🙂

    Also, let it never be said that Chelsea does not listen to her adoring readers for you have heard our cries for cheesecake!

  • 8. mastroianni66  |  July 30, 2009 at 11:45 am

    We unhooked our TV about 7 years ago to paint the wall behind it and never ended up plugging the cable wire back into the stupid thing. I’m completely lost during about 90% of the conversations that people have at work because I honestly don’t know what is going on in television these days. No, I’m not one of those preachy, self-righteous jerks who constantly talks about how everyone should live TV free and just read all the time. Heck, I can waste enormous amounts of time and energy just browsing for trite junk on the web so who am I to judge? I just don’t want to plug my television back into the wall ever again.

  • 9. Dad  |  July 30, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    We have some Japanese Game Show and Wipeout episodes on our DVR. You’re welcome to come over any time and watch them. You might also look at Just for Laughs and Don’t Forget the Lyrics on the DVR. These are all slapstick except for Lyrics, which is just plain fun (at least for for us old guys trying to see how much we remember of the old songs).

  • 10. Debbie  |  July 30, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Oh my gosh, we are looking more and more like kindred spirits, Chelsea! 🙂

    i ADOOOOOOORRRRRRE Biggest Loser! Holy crap do I miss it, too! I even resorted to watching some of the reruns on tv a few weeks ago! I’ve seen every season and still got sucked into the marathon of oldies they were running. I love it all! I got my Dad and brother hooked on it last season. Until then, my sister would come over every Tues night to watch while they made fun of us. Not anymore!! 🙂

    And it starts on 9/15?! That’s my birthday, what a great present!! 🙂

  • 11. Debbie  |  July 30, 2009 at 2:33 pm

    i just realized that comment was loaded with smileys. oops, ha. guess that’s how excited i was to talk about BL!

  • 12. Lindsay  |  July 30, 2009 at 2:49 pm

    I’m almost positive he lives in his parents basement. Unless he’s from Texas. Then he lives in their spare room over the garage.

  • 13. osarah  |  July 30, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    I laughed out loud about feeling the BL void. I seriously thought about that this morning during my shower (where I get some of my best uninterrupted think time of the day). I miss it!! A few days ago I went to their website to see when it’s going to start again, so Sept. 15th is already a day I’m looking forward to.

    It’s less than a month after we get back form the States! Yes!!

  • 14. Spotty Prep  |  July 30, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    LOL- More to Love is truly awful! My jaw dropped when I saw they were showing the heights and weights of the women- how terrible!

    I love Biggest Loser, too! It seems so positive, whereas More to Love seems more exploitative.

  • 15. Autumn  |  July 30, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    Hi back! Thanks for “visiting” my blog! I love new bloggy pals!
    And boy am I with you on this one. It feels like I can’t watch “normal” TV anymore! Bring on the crazy reality (?) shows!

  • 16. d.a.r.  |  July 30, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    I seriously lovvveee The Biggest Loser. I can’t wait for another season!

  • 17. rachelheather  |  July 30, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    Colby…who didn’t watch Survivor when Colby was on?

    And btw, towards the end of last season I didn’t have time to watch BL on hulu, so I would just read your updates instead. They were almost more entertaining than the actual show!

  • 18. The Husband  |  July 30, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    I never watched Survivor when Colby was on. Colby sucks and Cindy Crawford’s hot!

    ….ok, I’m done. I guess I’m too jealous of a guy to even stand hearing my wife had a crush on some guy 10 years ago who was on tv.

    …stupid Colby!

  • 19. Kristin  |  July 31, 2009 at 9:35 am

    The hubs is addicted to that crazy show. I don’t know how people don’t break every limb!

  • 20. Sara  |  July 31, 2009 at 1:51 pm

    I will definitely have to check this show out…I’ve heard good things.

  • 21. Rachel  |  August 4, 2009 at 10:14 pm

    Wipeout is a good one….
    Catch an episode of ‘Dating in the Dark’. OMG. 3 guys, 3 girls meet and go on 3-4 dates in the pitch black. Then at the end they see each other (w/o seeing the other’s disappointed or ecstatic reaction to their appearance) and decide if they want to keep dating. It’s like a train wreck…

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