An Emotional Journey I Wasn’t Prepared to Take

Yesterday afternoon I got stuck at this awful light by my house. I normally avoid this light but I had a few errands to run and it was the most logical route home. Sometimes logic makes no sense because I was that terribly unlucky car that was the first one stuck behind a train. I could see it coming from (what seemed like) miles away. I thought I’d get through the light in time. Nope. The bars lowered and the lights started flashing. And then we waited and waited and waited. The train was still so far. Now listen, I’m all about safety but this seemed a bit excessive. I wish I had clocked the lag time but I was too busy screaming at the god’s in charge of the train crossing station about how they jumped the gun by about an hour on this.

The train crossing gods granted me a bit of peace. I relaxed a tad and anxiously awaited the train. As much as I hate getting stuck behind trains, I love watching them go by. They fascinate me. I like thinking about what might be in those train cars. I like trying to read the graffiti and realizing that nobody would ever let me into their gang because I can’t write in fun fonts. Well that, and my name isn’t cool enough to write all over trains. Maybe if my parents had chosen to name me something tougher like “Bonez” or “Crush.” But, alas, I’m stuck here at my day job with my girly handwriting and my name that used to be unique until the Clinton’s became famous and their daughter popularized the name. Stupid Clintons.

I think we were talking about trains, weren’t we? Yeah so I waited and waited and this train finally comes. I notice that it’s going awfully slow. And it’s only the front car. Whatever that thing is called. The Anti-Caboose. The Ying to the caboose’s Yang. It passes the intersection and, get this, it stops. Just stops. The conductor starts walking down his stairs. I was so annoyed that I was STILL stuck at this light that I didn’t even have time to be upset that the conductor wasn’t wearing blue pinstripe overalls and a cool hat. He walked around the front of the train to the other side. Now let me just throw this out there- Why is it safe enough for him to get out and walk IN FRONT of the train but it’s not safe enough for us to drive BEHIND a parked train?

He finally walks back around and gets in the train and starts going again. The train crossing gods deem it a safe area and raise the bars. We’re free.

I tell you this story so that we can have a lesson in emotion. If you were in my head (and praise the Lord that you aren’t, I’m sure that’s not a fun place to be) you would know that this was the emotional journey I went on:

-Oh a train way off in the distance! Exciting!
-Wait, what? It’s too soon. It’s still so far. Don’t force me to stop yet!
-Seriously. This is ridiculous.
-Trains are dumb. Will it just get here already?
-Ohhhh that’s kind of cool. I guess you are never too old to appreciate the wonders of trains!
-Okay but this is overkill.
-We’re done! GO AWAY.

Did you follow? Those were my emotions in chronological order.

Now, if any of you have any connections with Hobby Lobby, I would greatly appreciate it if you’d forward this post to them. (Or click on the words “Hobby Lobby” over and over and over so that they’ll come here and read this.) Tell them to take the above emotional journey and let them know that this is EXACTLY HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEIR CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS.

-Oh Christmas is way off in the distance! Exciting!
-Wait, what? It’s too soon. It’s still so far. Don’t force me to see decorations yet!
-Seriously. This is ridiculous.
-Christmas is dumb. Will it just get here already?
-Ohhhh that’s kind of cool. I guess you are never too old to appreciate the wonders of Christmas!
-Okay but this is overkill.
-We’re done! GO AWAY.

Hobby Lobby, I love you. I do. I think you are an excellent store. You have everything a girl could ever want besides shoes (maybe you should look into that). But closing your doors on Sundays so that “your workers have time to worship and be with their families” is TOTALLY negated by the fact that you are commercializing Christmas more than any other store on the planet. It’s disgusting. It’s painfully ironic. It’s annoying and frustrating and you are taking away the holiday anticipating warm fuzzies I normally like to get in the beginning on November. Hobby Lobby, you’ve done pissed me off.

I’ll step off my soapbox now. But I’m keeping it right here next to me incase I need to get back up there.