My Love / Hate Relationship With Technology

Every once in a while I have a semi-meltdown. I wonder if I was born in the wrong decade. I can’t set up a television, I have no idea how to fix a computer, and any phone that does not belong to me looks extremely intimidating. In fact, I got reprimanded just yesterday for saying the sentence, “When that comes to video, we are going to buy it and watch it.” Apparently that’s not hip. Movies don’t come to video anymore. They come to DVD. And pretty soon, they’ll probably come to Blu-Ray. (Although I think we should all join together and make a decision not to support Blu-Ray so we don’t have to start all over with our movie collections.) I don’t think I’ll ever say, “When that movie comes to Blu-Ray.” I just can’t do that. What is a blu-ray anyway?? Where will that plug in? Why is it any different than my DVD player?

In short, technology scares me. Says the blogger. Ironic? A little bit.

Last night at Bible Study we realized that the entire group of us was lacking in know-how when it came to playing our DVD. Someone had kindly taped instructions to the television so that we could figure it out. Someone’s instructions didn’t tell us what to do if that didn’t work. So we listened to our DVD. We stared at a screen that counted the minutes and listened to Laurie Cole talk. Next week we will recruit some men to help us. Or some ten year olds.

For the most part, I dislike advanced technology. But every now and then I get excited about something. Like blogging. I love blogging. I love that I can come to a blank screen whenever I feel like it and I can tap tap tap until I have something that resembles something of a cohesive thought and then push one button and it’s thrown out into cyber space. And you can read it. And then you can tell me what you think about it. That’s just cool. When I think about all the people I’ve “met” through blogging, it fascinates me.

On Sunday night I had a moment where I just smiled at my computer and was in awe of what the world has come to. I was watching Design Star on HGTV. I had my computer on in front of me and was checking my email, facebook, blogs, etcetera. At one point I refreshed facebook and about 9 new statuses came up that said something along the lines of “Wow Kanye. What a jerk.” I knew the VMAs were on and I knew that Kanye West was an idiot, so I figured he said something controversial like “Bush hates black people” or something else along those lines.

I needed to know what happened. I went to a few entertainment sites to see if anyone had posted a story yet. Nothing. I refreshed facebook again. More Kanye statuses. But one said something like “Poor Taylor Swift… and I don’t even like Taylor Swift.” So I went to YouTube. I typed in “Kanye West Taylor Swift VMAs” and there is was. Already. A clip of Taylor Swift going on stage to accept her award and Kanye West taking the mic from her to tell Beyonce that she should have won. I’m not going to give you my opinion on the matter, I think you know it already. My point is how crazy it is that I was able to find the answer to my question almost instantly. I was able to learn that I even had a question about 5 seconds after the incident happened.

That is just amazing. By this time my show was over. I turned to MTV to watch the end of the show. Which, by the way, was pretty entertaining. (And I think I should confess that I cried a bit when Beyonce got up to accept her award and said she’d like Taylor to come back up and have her moment. I’m not pregnant or PMSing. I’m really that ridiculous.)

So there I was sitting on the couch. I had just finished watching a reality show that would make one person’s dreams come true and was now watching an awards show based on music videos. I watched reruns of that show on my computer a few minutes after they were seen on television. And I was blogging. All at once. At that moment, I loved technology.

Then I went to work on Monday and started listening to Pandora. I love that site. I had worked hard to make a few radio stations that I can keep on during work. Things that don’t annoy me, don’t embarrass me when people come into my office (like Britney would). So there I was, listening to my custom station when it stopped. This happens every few hours. They want to make sure I’m still listening. I went to that window to click on the button that says that I’m still listening but that button wasn’t there. Instead was a screen that told me that my time had run out and I needed to pay to keep listening. Pay? For Pandora? Are you freaking kidding me? They’ve drawn me in and gotten me addicted. I can’t function without my stations. And now all of a sudden after years of being a free site, they want to charge me??

No sir! I will not pay. I am Chelsea, the hater of technology. I don’t need you. You are nothing to me. I hate you. Pandora. DVDs. Cords. Buttons. Applications. Electricity. Well, maybe not electricity. But the rest of technology, I hate you.

But the blogging must go on.

*Just a kind reminder that The Biggest Loser starts tonight. Don’t miss it!! Please, nobody text message me. I will be watching it after my meeting on DVR.