Seven Quick Takes (vol.13)

It’s FRIDAY! Friday is a beautiful day. It’s almost better than Saturday because there is so much weekend anticipation. Am I the only one that thinks that?? Maybe. This Friday is especially wonderful because tonight it our Houston Blogger meetup. Granted there will be very few of us because some of you are out of town or working or actually living in other cities. But we will celebrate anyways.

I shall start the celebration with my weekly Seven Quick Takes. Head over to Conversion Diary to see more or to add your own!

The first three will answer some of your questions from this week. The other four have no rhyme or reason. Well actually I think that everything I write has reason, but nothing has rhyme. I am no poet.

1.
My dress from my Monday post is from Old Navy. It was cheap and I love it. The first time I wore it, I wore boots with it. Apparently that turns a lot of heads. Being 6′ tall with boots and a short dress draws attention… who knew? In my defense though, it really isn’t short. It’s a good 3 or 4 inches below my fingertips, but it just looks short since I’m a giant. Also, if you are going to be 6′ tall and wear boots and a (not actually) short dress, but sure that your wedding rings aren’t at the jeweler’s when you go out in public. Just, you know, hypothetically speaking. Trust me on this, I’m here to help.

2.
I’m hesitant to tell you the winning toilet paper. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please visit yesterday’s post. You won’t regret it.) I wish you’d do your own experiment and decide for yourself. But since I love you and I don’t want you to ever EVER use Scott Extra Soft for anything other than exfoliating the bottoms of your feet, I will give you the goods. Let me just first say that Charmin has changed it’s product since the experiment took place. They now have Charmin Extra Soft and Charmin Extra Stong. Back in the good ‘ol days they just had Charmin Ultra and something else like that. With that said, the results may change if the experiment were to take place in the present time.

The winning toilet paper was HEB brand Twice As Soft. It was soft, had a wonderful design that was pleasing to the eye, it didn’t chaff noses, and it didn’t break the bank. Close seconds: Angel Soft Pretty Prints (the flowers were quite charming!) and Ultra Quilted Northern (Stephen said it felt like he was riding on a cloud).

3.
I apologize for the yellow in all the photos yesterday. I used my phone. And even if I had used my camera, the photos would probably still suck because I’m not good at taking pictures. So, no. The wall behind me in the picture yesterday is not yellow. It’s actually the white that you find in old houses. So it’s sort of creamish white.  Ugly white. It’s one of the only rooms in the house I haven’t painted yet and I won’t paint it until we’re pregnant. It is the future baby’s room. I understand that nobody actually asked me about the walls. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I know that the walls are ugly.

4.
I have burned food two nights in a row. I never burn food. Two nights ago I was making a big dish of roasted vegetables. I burned the garlic something awful. Burned garlic is NOT good. Last night I was cooking some onions to add to some steamed green beans and I burned them too. I cook onions ALL THE TIME. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I fear that my husband is going to walk out because this is not the woman he married.

5.
My husband volunteered me to make chocolate pumpkin muffins for him to take to a customer meeting on Tuesday. I don’t mind. I just think it’s funny. “I’ll have my wife make muffins!” That’s funny. I just hope I don’t burn them…

6.
I think I’m addicted to cheesecake. It’s a real problem. I promise.

7.
Yesterday I saw on My Thoughts Exactly that Oprah gave out a Payless coupon. If you go to her website you can download a 50% of coupon that is good toward your entire purchase. The only catch is that it expires today. I knew I wouldn’t be able to go today (remember, Houston blogger meetup…) so I stopped on my way home from work yesterday. Sometimes Payless shoes suck, but sometimes they don’t. I have two pair of flats that I LOVE that I got there a couple years ago. So I thought I’d give it a go. Check out my loot.

Ladies and four gentlemen, I bought 7 pairs of shoes. SEVEN. My total (excluding tax and the other items I bought that I can’t tell you about because they may or may not be for someone who reads this blog) was $45.99. No you didn’t hear me wrong. I bought seven pairs of shoes for under $50. I win!

See ya Monday!

People Do Stupid Things In College

Beware: The following content will alter your views of me. I am almost certain that you never knew I was this nerdy. Everything stated below is true, even when you start thinking, “Did she seriously do this?” Yes, I did. I don’t lie. Also, you may be a little jealous.

I knew I’d write about this topic at some point, just as I knew I’d write about my childhood bedroom walls. On Tuesday I asked if y’all have a toilet paper preference. I realized that this would be a good time to tell you all about this. I hope you enjoy…

The year was 2005. The month was August. The city was Austin, Texas. I am the main character. It was the beginning of my junior year of college and it was my second year in an apartment. One afternoon I went to HEB to get groceries and other necessities. All seemed to be going well until a dark cloud came and ruined an otherwise cheery grocery trip. I found myself in the toilet paper aisle surrounded by countless types of toilet paper. I realized that I was lost. One ply, two ply, three ply, ultra, super, extra, soft, plush, single roll, double roll, triple roll, with aloe, quilted, printed. It went on and on. I needed a map.

I read the packages and quickly became overwhelmed. I was stressed by the immense pressure to pick the perfect roll. It was just too much, I couldn’t handle it. I was two Charmin bears away from a complete breakdown. I was about to walk away paperless when I realized that the problem will not go away. I would face this dilemma often, until forever. Right there, standing in front of those Charmin bears, I came up with a brilliant idea. I would try them all! Yes! Yes, I would try them all! And then I would decide which one is the best and I’d never be confused again!

So that’s exactly what I did. I came home and told my roommate about my plan. She was on board! A few minutes later, we had this.

The Toilet Paper Log

And so it began. We made a sign and hung it in our bathroom. I didn’t keep it so I have no idea what it said. But it mentioned something about writing down your toilet paper review or else you were never allowed back in our apartment. We had a small table in the bathroom that we left it on. At the beginning of a new package, we’d write the type and tape in a sample. (It should be noted that any water spots you see in the photos are because the log sat on a table below the towel hook. It got dripped on a lot.)

It’s hard to see in that photo. You can click on it to make it bigger. Throughout the usage of the rolls, we were all to record our thoughts. Everything should be taken into account: number 1, number 2, nose blowing, makeup removal, texture, visual appeal, etc. All thoughts were welcome. When the final roll was hanging, we made a note in the journal so we’d know to make our final assessments.

The Final Flush

There were a few rules. Not many. First of all, the space is to be used for reviews and educational toilet paper related discussion. My friend Kelly never got that. It was like pulling teeth to get her to write her reviews. She often verbalized them to us but rarely recorded them in the log. See below.

Secondly, if you were new to the apartment you had to make an entry. If you didn’t, we would be mad at you and question the validity of your friendship and hesitate to invite you back. My friend Jim made this mistake. He was a new friend at the time, I didn’t know him well. But he already had one strike against him – he was a Sooner. I told him I’d be willing to let a Sooner into my apartment if he swore to contribute. He swore, but he didn’t contribute. The next day I received an email with an apology. I printed it and added it to our book. You can see it on the left.

You can see that there is also an ad taped in the right side. The original ad is for Clorox Toilet Wand and reads “Just be glad we don’t make toilet paper.” It appears that I used this ad as the “sample” for our next package of toilet paper. I crossed out “Clorox Toilet Wand” and renamed it. The note below it says, “This tp is awesome… if your goal is to sand down some ply wood.”  I tried to keep all brand names and true opinions out of the pictures incase one of the toilet paper companies out there wants to purchase this wonderful journal from me. It’s gold. But I guess I included the name of that one company. Oh well, my journal notes say that this receives a grade worse than an F-… it receives an Incomplete.

We didn’t just put ads, my roommate once included an article. I’m sure you can see the title in the photo, the article tells us that a man killed his roommate because there was no toilet paper. See, we aren’t the only ones that think toilet paper is really important!

My note on the side says, “It’s weird b/c he really looks like a nice fella…”

Seriously, I’m not lying when I say that this book is gold. It’s a toilet paper company’s dream. Unedited opinions, discussion, and analysis of the competitors. Stephen and I were reading through this last night. I laughed so hard. We were both impressed with our wit and our dedication to the topic of toilet paper. There were marketing ideas geared for kids and college students. There were poems and stories and page long entries. It’s brilliant.

I will leave you with the final post in the Toilet Paper Log. It’s an entry from Stephen.

I told you that you’d be jealous!

**Edited to add: Go over to Lauren from Texas’ blog. Today is her 6 month blogiversary and she’s got a GIVEAWAY going on!!

Loser 8.07: Baseball Has Never Been So Talentless

First of all I need to say that we are all suffering the loss of Sean. It’s been a few weeks now and nobody has stepped up to be the funny one. I’m extremely disappointed in these contestants. Danny brings the tears, Tracey brings the crazy, Shay brings the opinions, Abby brings the inspiration, Liz brings the bitterness, but nobody brings the funny. SOMEONE, please bring the funny.

So the black team came in from the elimination. Nobody seemed shocked. We learned a bit more about the bond between Shay, Daniel, and Amanda. Liz seemed to be really angry about their decisions. Has she forgotten what show she is on? I don’t understand why she is always so pissed. Chill out lady. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: You are ugly when you’re shooting flames out of your eyes. Whatever happened to southern charm??

The contestants headed out to meet up with Ali. She told them they were going to be going head to head this week. Each contestant would be paired against a contestant from the other team. They’d only compete with each other. Whoever lost the most got a point for their team. Whichever team got the most points stayed above the yellow line. The teams had a challenge to play for the ability to pair everyone up. They had to run under a bar and touch a hanging disc, turn around and run back under the bar and touch the hanging disc on the other side. Each time they touched a disc, they got one point. The winner was the first to reach 500 points. Only one person could go at a time, and each contestant could only go once. You with me?

It stayed pretty close for most of the game. Black was down for a bit but caught back up. It came down to Daniel and Rebecca, both hitting the 400 point mark at the same time. Rebecca ended up winning it by 3 points which gave the blue team the ability to match everyone up. Okay listen, I always feel bad for the losing team because they have just worked their tails off and they always cry but come on! Stop whining. I can understand being disappointed, but not whining. Get over it. They won for a reason. Because they were better, they competed harder, they didn’t let up. This brings me back to last season when the whole world was mad at Tara for winning everything. Give me a freaking break people, you don’t play to lose. You play to win. *Stepping off soap box now.*

Alison gathered everyone in a boxing ring (really?) to announce who was facing off against each other. They pairs are as follows.

Rebecca vs. Amanda
Tracey vs. Abby
Allen vs. Danny
Rudy vs. Shay
Liz vs. Daniel

It’s during this time that we are reminded that Tracey is not funny. She thinks she is, I’m sure. She said something like, “Who’s excited to work out?? ME!” in some tone that I think was supposed to be sarcasm. It wasn’t funny. But then Abby showed us that she can be kind of funny when she said, “Tracey’s just crazy! You just never know what she’s going to do.” And she waved her hands in some crazy way. Normally that isn’t very funny… but coming from Abby, it is.

(DING)

(That was supposed to be the ding that happens in boxing matches. Did that not transfer over?)

The blue team headed to the pool with Bob. I know you can burn calories in the pool, but can’t you burn more in the gym? It was weird to see them in there while the black team was in the gym. Maybe this was just a quick workout for some variety. That’s probably the case. Bob is really big into weight-loss yoga but we haven’t seen that either. Just thinking out loud.

The black team went to the gym so Jillian could start on her first therapy session of the week. Amanda was the victim. I thoroughly enjoyed watching Danny casually walk away and watch them from afar. Amanda cried and walked away and Jillian looked up at the camera people and said, “Why are these contestants so freaking difficult this season??” Umm, Jill. Read my blog. They are always like this. They scream and cry and fight you. It’s how it goes.

The teams then headed to a baseball field for their next challenge. They were wearing custom jerseys and (unfortunately) baseball pants. I felt very mislead with what happened next. Alison said this schpeal about some baseball player and blah blah, “Say hello to Derek Jeter.” Everyone freaked out (including Tracey because she’s his biggest fan) and then he appeared… on the jumbotron. Seriously? What’s that about? Last season they had some football player on. I can’t remember who it was because I don’t really care about football and I don’t feel like searching my old posts. The point is that there was an actual person there.

I don’t really know what he said because I was distracted by the ridiculousness of the jumbotron and it was also at this point that I was wondering why the heck my house was so cold. But I heard something about his career batting average is 316 they had to get 316 baseballs in someone’s  class=”hiddenSpellError” pre=”someone’s “>bin to get them out. Last man standing won lunch provided by Curtis Stone and a 2 pound advantage at the weigh in. Everyone was pumped about that prize… Tracey especially because she’s his biggest fan. Not the most entertaining game. Although I did laugh when I saw Liz try to throw a ball. SHEESH. And many of the contestants talked some smack. Apparently these challenges bring out the mean side of everyone!

The black team won. They were thrilled. They went to the house to have lunch and met Curtis outside. He was going to make burgers. Burgers? You win a meal prepared by a gourmet chef and he makes burgers? With ginormous mushrooms as the buns? Please oh please, if I ever win something cool like that, don’t feed me discs of fungus. Gross. I think they got screwed. Lame meal. Oh and I think they were advertising some panini press.

Hour 2 started in the gym. Basically the rest of the show was breakdown after breakdown. It really never gets easy to see Abby cry. Hearing her tell her story is hard. My heart just breaks for her. On top of that we saw a breakdown from Shay. Also not easy to hear. She talked about her mom buying drugs in front of her and shooting up in front of her and having men in the hotel room while she hid in the closet. That’ll mess you up. But Jillian just kept pulling and pulling until they sobbed even more. I know she knows what she’s doing, I know they need these breakthroughs… but it seems harsh.

On to the weigh in. Ali’s dress! She wore some cute pink number with some chunky ruffle looking thing. I love it. Can someone from the Biggest Loser crew tell us where she gets her clothes? Seriously. Because no fewer that 15 people will come to my blog this week by googling something about Alison Sweeny’s pink dress. This is how the weigh in went down: Amanda had the 2 pound advantage. It didn’t help her. In Amanda (2) vs. Rebecca (9), Rebecca won. In Abby (3) vs. Tracey (5), Tracey won. In Danny (12) vs. Allen (8), Danny won. In Daniel (5) vs. Liz (7), Liz won. In Shay (9) vs. Rudy (14), Rudy won. Which means that the blue team won.

If you’ve been keeping track of my weekly count of Rudy’s weight loss you’d know that he was on track to break Dane’s record of the quickest to lose 100 pounds. Right when he got up to the scale, Alison mentioned the record and then Dane came out! It was exciting! He still has a bit of a belly, but I’m not sure about the timeline and when this was recorded. I’m still so proud of him. He said that 12 Biggest Loser contestants were doing a triathlon the next morning. Super cool.

Into the elimination room. Abby had pleaded to go home. She said she’d done what she needed. She learned to live and she learned to love. Everyone else had learning to do. They voted her off. It was quite sad. Her homecoming was quite emotional. She can just open her mouth and it’ll make me cry. She gave a little speech about how everyone talks about how she lost her husband and kids, but they all lost them too. And they lost her in the process. Heart wrenching. I love her.

She looks HOT now. HOT. She went from 247 to 167. She is speaking about opportunities and hope. She is smiling and looking just beautiful. Her parents are beaming with pride and joy. It was fantastic to see!!

Next week: They are in DC. That’s about all we know. Oh and some past choices are going to come back and bite Tracey. Finally.

(Houston bloggers: be sure to visit this post for details about our meet up! I can’t wait to meet yall!)

Ten on Tuesday (Volume 3)

It’s week 3 of Ten on Tuesday! You know the drill… if you’re a blogger you can take this over to your blog. Just make sure to link back over here and put the link to that post in my comments. If you’re not a blogger, answer in the comments. I can’t wait to see your answers!

(Copy that code below to post this image on your blog!) – Okay apparently the code doesn’t work. So just save the jpg..

<img src=”https://rootsandrings.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/rr10tuesday.jpg”  alt=”Shop” />

1. What are you going to be for Halloween?
An adult.

No really, I think I know what my Halloween plans are and I don’t think they’ll involve dressing up. I’m okay with that. Last year Stephen and I sat outside and drank wine and ate grapes while the kiddos came to our house.

2. Have you ever been on television?
I’ve gotten calls saying that people have seen me on tv when they were watching an Astros game. Also, there was this special on Starbucks that CNN (I think) did a few years ago. I was studying at Starbucks in Austin while they were taping. They asked me if I would be in it. They said things like, “Just look like you’re studying.” which of course made it impossible to act like I was studying, even though I actually was studying. Had they just not told me, I would have done fine. Then they told me to bob my head to my iPod music. Awkward. But I happened to see the special many months later as I was channel surfing. I was in it for about 3 seconds.

I charge $20 for autographs.

3. Do you have a toilet paper preference?
Oh look, there is an open can of worms.

I have a LOT of opinions about toilet paper. More than any one woman should have. I started to type out my response but I feared that I would max out the word count so I stopped. Return on Thursday for a full report.

4. When you’re pregnant, will you find out the sex of the baby? (Or if you’ve already had babies, did you find out the sex?) Why or why not?
Absolutely. My mom once said, “Why would you do that?? You’ll have nothing to look forward to!” I disagree, mom. I think I’ll have something to look forward to. Something like, oh I don’t know, A BABY! Anyways, I will want to find out the sex so we can choose a name and talk to him/her by name. Also I’d like to paint the nursery and have gender specific clothes.

5. What are three items that every kitchen must have?
A large flat bottomed skillet, a good knife, a spatula. I understand that there are two different items that people refer to as a spatula. I am referring to these guys.

via

6. Do you enjoy Christmas shopping?
Yes, except for the spending money part. But I LOVE to buy gifts for people. Throughout the year I listen to every little comment that people say about needing this or wanting that and I store it away in this little box in my brain. I think it’s fun. I’ve already started my Christmas shopping for this year!

7. What is your go-to recipe? (The thing you cook more than anything else because it’s easy and mindless.) Please share the recipe.
Lemon feta chicken. Yummm. Salt and pepper a couple chicken breasts. Put them in a baking dish and squeeze some lemon over them. Sprinkle (or liberally pour, if you are us) crumbled feta on top of chicken. Squeeze more lemon on top. Bake. I usually bake at like 375 for 25 minutes-ish. Depends on the thickness of your chicken. I also like to throw in a bunch of cherry tomatoes because I LOVE roasted tomatoes.

On our especially cheap days or days when I haven’t been to the grocery store, I make tuna noodle surprise. 1 can of tuna, 1 can of cream of mushroom, a box of mac and cheese. Make the mac and cheese, pour soup and drained tuna in. Mix. Put in a dish and crumbled some potato chips on top. Bake until it browns a bit. It tastes like my childhood.

8. Do you sleep on your back, belly, or side?
Back. Sometimes I’ll start on my side but I can’t ever fall asleep unless I’m on my back. Once I’m in a deep sleep, I can turn on my side and stay asleep but it usually makes my back and neck hurt.

9. How do you feel about Tom Cruise?
I used to like him. I love Top Gun and I like Jerry Maguire. But I never like actors when I know too much about their personal lives. I feel the same way about other uber-famous people. If I know everything about them, I don’t believe them as the character.

Tom Cruise, specifically, has just gotten too weird for me. And there are too many theories about him being gay and having a wife as a cover. And I sort of believe them. Basically if he never made another movie I’d be okay with that.

10. What books are in your “books to read” stack?
I ask most of these questions because I want to know your answers but I must admit that I asked this question because I want you to know my answer! Last week I asked what classic novels I should ask so that I could check number 88 off of my 101 in 1001. You responded. I made a spreadsheet with your answers. The top 3 were Pirde & Prejudice, Jane Eyre, and The Picture of Dorian Grey.

On Sunday afternoon, Stephen and I drove around Galveston and parked by the strand. We happened to walk by this bookshop so, of course, we went in. Forty five minutes later, this is what I came out with.

I’m also a few chapters into Redeeming Love. And there are about 3 or 4 other chick lit books on my bookshelf that haven’t been read. And I realize that to truly answer this question, I have to tell you what they are. I can’t think of them all! I sitll need to read the Chelsea Handler book. I also have a few Marian Keyes books that I’d like to reread. And I never finished Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper. It’s a heavy book, so I read a chapter at a time. So anyways, I’m all set! Now I just need a week-long vacation on a cruise ship!

Your turn!

Houston Bloggers! Click here to read about our meet-up!!

That’s What He Said

I took myself a mini-vacation this weekend. Jealous? Yeah, I know. Stephen and I took his family to Galveston for the weekend to stay at Bella Rose and have a fun-filled family get-away. There were 8 of us: Stephen and I, his parents, his two sisters and their boyfriends. There are a few things you need to know about this group. First, we are a loud bunch. Second, a few members of this group have a tendency to repeat phrases over and over until they are no longer funny… then they repeat them a thousand more times until they somehow become funny again. This weekend the two phrases of choice were “Oh, piece of candy” which apparently comes from an episode of Family Guy or South Park or something, and “That’s What She Said” which, well, if you don’t know where that comes from you can just stop reading my blog right now because we will not get along.

The problem with weekend trips is that you really only get one full day of vacation. Everyone arrived on Friday and we stayed up long enough to unload the cars, chat a bit, and my SIL’s boyfriend to have a cold burrito from Buc-ee’s. Then the eight of us took turns brushing our teeth and getting ready for bed. We needed a good night’s sleep, we had a long day of doing nothing ahead of us. You really don’t want to be tired for that.

We all woke up on Saturday morning at different times. Eventually everyone was up and dressed and we headed to the Sunflower Bakery for some very necessary blueberry pancakes. We ate until we couldn’t speak anymore and then we ate some more. I am obviously overreacting when I say that we ate until we couldn’t speak anymore… because there is really never a time that the 8 of us can’t speak. Not possible. We stuffed ourselves back into our cars and headed to the beach. Texas tends to be bipolar when it comes to weather so we weren’t quite sure what to expect. The great state gave us some beautiful weather but it was a tad too cold to be beaching so we just walked around, took a ton of pictures, and watched Stephen and Shawn chase some crabs.

For some reason I think it’s funny to take a picture of someone taking a picture. It really never gets old for me. I’m aware that it probably gets old for you so I will old post that one, not the one of Stephen taking a picture with his cell phone and his tongue sticking out.

This is the Hurst family. Please ignore my monstrous feet!

We had plans to go to the botanical gardens at Moody Gardens. We got ready to go and then as we were just about to load into the car we realized that we didn’t know where we were going. We called Moody Gardens to figure out where they were located. My brilliant sister-in-law jokingly asked the guy on the phone if the had the botanical gardens. Umm, no. They are closed. Soooo, on to plan B. Problem was that we didn’t have a plan B. We didn’t even really have a plan A.

We eventually decided to head to The Strand and walk around a bit. Remember what I said about the two phrases that were repeated?? Well imagine taking those phrases to a street with three candy stores and a Gay Pride Fest. Phrase number two was edited in honor of the weekend’s events. Hence the title of the blog. Obnoxious? Yes. Slightly inappropriate? Yes. But often outrageously hilarious? Absolutely. Let me just say that if you’ve never had the opportunity to be within ten feet of a gay pride fest, you’re missing out on a lot of leopard print belts, short shorts, giggling, and (oddly enough) plaid Keds. Who knew?

We shopped, visited the Elissa, went to the candy store to watch them make taffy, etc. etc.

Incase you can’t read that sign, that’s the Ike water line. My father-in-law is 6’7… so yeah, it was really high.

 

That’s a piece of aluminum. There was this machine where you pick a letter, pull a lever, pick a letter, pull a lever, and on and on until you spell what you want. It presses each letter onto this coin. Stephen made one for me. It says, “Stephen Loves Chelsea Always.” Other coins floating around were “Shawn and Heather,” “Ndrev Loves Courtney” (Andrew wasn’t very good at it…), and “That’s What He Said 2009.”

Don’t you love him? He’s so cute. That was at the Elissa. Nothing exciting was going on behind him, he’s just THAT excited to see a ship! Later there were a bunch of men climbing up with harnesses. Stephen was convinced that they were going to repel down but they ended up just doing some work on the sails. The anticipation left us underwhelmed.

Anyways, that’s not what’s important about the weekend. The important thing is that for dinner we had two delicious Pioneer Woman recipes followed by a chocolate cheesecake that made us all die. It was a great food weekend. And since that’s really all I require out of life, I would say that this weekend was one of my favorites in my recent memory! And it may or may not have something to do with sharing an old-fashioned chocolate shake with my hubby!

 

(Ten on Tuesday tomorrow. If you’re a blogger and want the questions ahead of time, email me. Most of you said you were cool with getting them Tuesday morning, but if you’re a planner like me, I can send them to you. chelsea.hurst (at) hotmail (dot) com)

Seven Quick Takes (vol.12)

Dear Friday,

I love you.

Always,
Chelsea

1.
Remember how I showed you that if you Google “how to know if my waterbed is full enough,”  you get me? Well last week someone Googled “baby why don’t you get on my waterbed” and got me. So apparently I’m the go-to girl for all things waterbed. I don’t know how I feel about that. In other Google-related news, here are some of this week’s searches:

-my grandbaby is cuter that yours
-my classes are full of losers
-bob harper do we clap tracey
-stephen’s brother shirt
-is it a big deal to be a rocket scientist

2.
Remember this cheesecake? This glorious, chocolatey, thick, delicious, cheesecake. I made it again last night for my sister-in-law’s boyfriend’s birthday. I get to have a bite of it in about 34.5 hours, plus our minus a few minutes. Can… can… can you tell how excited I am??? I can hardly s-s-speak!

3.
Thanks for all the dress help! I went shopping on Wednesday after work. It was quite a succesful trip. I ended up buying 3 dresses. I know, I know. I said I’d buy one for under $50. I said I’d buy one that I could wear to all three weddings and change my accessories. I remember, I wrote it. But you see, they were cheap. Kohl’s was having a great sale and I can’t pass up a great sale. For $119 I got two dresses, 4 bras, and a cute top. AND $20 Kohl’s cash! Then I went to JC Penny to check out their selection and ended up with one more. I planned to try them on last night and take pictures to show y’all but I was too busy making a cheesecake and watching The Office and 30 Rock. So you’ll just have to wait.

4.
America’s Funniest Home Videos is one of the greatest shows that ever existed. I firmly believe that.

5.
I’ve told you that my mind has been mush lately. I’m not just saying this. It’s true. Want proof? Re-read this sentence from yesterday: “It was fall of senior year when we got engaged and we were right out of college when we got married.” The problem? This isn’t true. Stephen was reading this yesterday and responded, “Ummm, you didn’t get engaged in the fall.” Crap. Then my sister-in-law commented, “Wait, I thought y’all got engaged in January (or February?)??” They are right. I seriously must be on crack or something. Stephen and I got engaged in January and got married in July. I’m not sure why I said fall. Ten points to Stephen and Heather for catching my mistake! Negative ten points to me for letting out an untimely and embarrassing brain fart.

6.
Let me just clear something up really quick. If you click on the ad on my sidebar, you will not get pop-ups or spammed or anything. It’ll simply take you to the website. I will NEVER post anything on my sidebar that will screw you over. I love you too much to do that. Also, I don’t get paid when you click it. Just so we’re clear on that!

7.
I am really enjoying these Ten on Tuesdays. I hadn’t planned on doing them each week but I’m going to keep going for a while. Quite a few of you participated these past two weeks and I had a lot of fun reading your answers! It’s a fun way to get to know y’all a bit. I read multiple answers on yalls blogs by yourselves and your readers and it was pretty entertaining. So keep it up!  We all need a day each week to do a mindless post, right? (Apparently I need two of those days… Don’t judge me.) Bloggers, I have a question for you. Would you like me to post the topic/questions on Monday so you can post on Tuesday? Or are you fine with the way it is? If I get no feedback, I’m going to keep it as is. But I have no problem posting earlier. Talk to me! Also, by Masselyn is designing me a fun button for my Ten on Tuesdays. I’m pumped!

 

Have a great weekend! I’m looking forward to a bit of rest & relaxation! I plan to do a lot of sleeping and reading this weekend! I’ll tell you the fun details on Monday! (You can go click that picture up there for more Quick Takes.)

I Got My MRS Because I’m Smart

I was 22 years old when I got married. It was fall of senior year when we got engaged and we were right out of college when we got married. I always thought that’s how life worked. I come from a long line of young marryers. It never really occurred to me until freshman year of college that most people didn’t get married right after graduation. Up until that point, I was quite naive. I thought I’d go to school and get a degree that wouldn’t matter because I wouldn’t work for long anyways and meet the man I was going to marry.

I went to school. I got a degree that doesn’t really matter because I’m doing something that isn’t even closely related to my major. And I met my husband. Yep, I got an MRS.

Let me just say this. Marrying young is not for everyone. Marrying isn’t even for everyone. So please don’t think that I think my way is THE way. With that being said, let me add this: Marrying young IS for me. Of this I’m sure.

I forgot what it was like to be single. Stephen and I have been married a little over 2 years. Some days it feels like it has flown by, other times it seems like much, much longer. We’ve shoved a lot into those two years and all of that stuff seems to push away the old memories. What was my life like back then?? I can’t remember what it’s like to live with a girl. I can’t remember life without stacks of bills. What did I do in the evenings before marriage? What did I eat for dinner every night before I had to cook food for a man who required meat in every meal and didn’t think soup was food? I can’t remember.

Now that it’s Thursday, I can tell you that Stephen has been out of town since Monday. I chose not to share these details with you incase you happened to be a hatchet murderer and wanted to break into my house and steal my 30″ television or my collection of DVD’s from the $5 bin at WalMart while I just stood there helplessly yelling for my husband and while Rookie peed all over the floor. But he’s back now, so set your sights on someone else’s copy of Mr. Deeds.

Anyways, I must admit that when I found out he’d be gone I got slightly excited. He left on Monday around noon and got back last night at an hour that I don’t want to speak of. Monday evenings I go to Bible Study so we don’t really spend much time together anyways. Tuesday I watch The Biggest Loser so that means there is a two hour slot in which he’s not allowed to speak to me. So it seemed that Wednesday would be the only time I’d notice he was gone. That and the fact that our bed is colder, I wouldn’t get hit in the face in the middle of the night, and nobody would be there to pop my toes. But sometimes it’s nice to be alone. It’s nice to have total control over the remote. It’s nice to be able to sit and read with the television off! I pumped myself up to have a Chelsea-centered three days.

Monday night I slept like a baby. A full night! That just never happens to me. I woke up on Tuesday morning and thought, “Uh oh! It must be Stephen’s fault that I can’t sleep through the night.” While that may be partially true, it’s not entirely. I slept a total of 3 hours on Tuesday night. I am the only one to blame for that!

I planned to eat dinners that Stephen doesn’t really care for. Salad, grilled cheese with tomato soup, and more salad. I had high hopes for myself and my decision making. But it turns out, when someone isn’t watching me, I don’t make great decisions. Monday night I had a Totino’s pepperoni pizza, Tuesday I had Velveeta Shells & Cheese, and last night I had a cheeseburger and small fries from McDonald’s. I am currently hanging my head in shame. I need accountability!

In the almost two years we’ve lived in that house, I’ve probably seen only 3 roaches. That is a big deal since we live in a neighborhood full of trees and surrounded by water. Roaches like it around here, but for some reason they have stayed away from Hurst Castle. Of course the first night my husband is gone, a roach shows up in my living room. I’ll have you all know that I killed it all by myself! Granted it was the size of a nickel, but it was still crunchy. I considered putting a pot over it like I used to do in college but since our living room floor is made from thin tiles, I figured the little goober could get out through one of the indentions from the grout.

Three days without my husband has made me realize that the single life is just not for me. I can’t handle it. I guess there was a part of my brain that was screaming “This chick needs a man!!” throughout my life. I may be terrible at accounting and world history, but I got a degree in the area I am good at!

Loser 8.06: Nobody Said Anything Funny

First and foremost, let me just say this: This was not my favorite episode. I thought it was pretty boring. There was only one competition and it was D-U-M-B. I hope none of you are first timers and chose last night to start watching. If you are, give it another go. Please. Glad I got that off my chest. On with it.

It started off where we ended last week. The blue team walked back into the house. Without Coach Mo, but with Tracey. Of course the black team was shocked but they did their best to cover it, just asking “What happened?” They chatted a bit and then Tracey started crying and going on about “I hate going into the elimination room. I HATE IT.” Visible eye roll.

We saw one quick workout. Just enough for us to see Tracey on a treadmill. “Yes! I am on a treadmill!” Nice work Tracey, only took you 6 weeks. Yall, did we ever figure out what was wrong with her? Besides the obvious. I mean physically, what’s wrong with her?

The teams headed out to the beach where they were greeted by Alison, some tiki torches, a large fire, and a bunch of mounds of sand. She announced that each team had 4 keys hidden under their sand piles. They needed each key to open their case and whoever opened their care first, won. What did they win? She wouldn’t tell but she did say, “It will determine who will stay on the ranch.” Which sounds like a huge deal to me. But to all of you who didn’t forget the teaser from last week, you probably figured out that it was tickets home.

These things were buried like 6 feet under the ground in these big boxes. It actually looked pretty tough – but not nearly as hard as most of their challenges. Tracey and Abby had to sit out for injuries, Amanda had to sit out so that the teams would be even. Halfway through the challenge Ali encouraged them, “Remember what you’re playing for!” Someone screamed out, “WE DON’T KNOW!” And she giggled a little and said, “Oh yeah!”

There was about 40+ minutes of digging and what seemed like hours of Tracey standing on the sidelines being the most annoying cheerleader that ever existed.

It was at this point that I realized I am torn. Blue verse black, who am I pulling for? Honestly, I’ve always been a Bob fan. I think Jillian is necessary to the show but I prefer Bob. Since Jillian has won the past 47 seasons, I’d like Bob to win this one. But then again Tracey is on the blue team. I’d like them to lose the weigh-in so they can vote her off. But then I love Rudy. I think he’s my favorite contestant but he’s on the blue team, so I want his team to do well. And then again I don’t want Shay to go home because I know she’s not nearly ready to go. See, torn.

The blue team ended up winning the challenge. They had the choice to go home for a week or to send the black team home for a week. They decided to send the black team home so they could stay at the ranch with Bob and the gym. I think that’s a good choice.

The at home portion of the show was really scattered. What do bloggers do with scattered thoughts? We make lists. So here are my thoughts in bullet form.

• Daniel’s homecoming was sweet. I loved when his grandma grabbed his neck!
• When Danny walked into his house, his kids and wife ran at him and hugged him. No wonder the man is homesick, there is a lot of love in that house!! It was nice to get a glimpse into his life. I’m proud of him for staying home and grilling and teaching his family a bit about what he’s going through.
• Shay came home to her husband and step kids. Seemed a little awkward, but maybe that’s just because there were camera crews all around them. She took them to the grocery store where they shopped for organic produce and Jennie-O turkey. Ugh.
• Dina’s son is precious. He was so cute when he was watching her run.
• We saw that most of their families didn’t alter their diets for their homecomings. Well done families.
• Eww, Danny’s ponytail. Gross.

Meanwhile, the blue team worked hard. Tracey worked out with her eyes wide open, Liz continued to be less than charming with her attitude and spite. Seriously, did she change from the first week?? They took a quick trip to the LA Food Bank to volunteer a bit. I didn’t mind that commercial so much. I DID, however, roll my eyes when they started talking about milk. I’m in full agreement that milk is good, but why the cheesy commercial?? Same with Subway. Yes, it’s a healthy choice but the extreme product placement and script is just too much.

Last chance workout. We saw lots of bellies this episode. And whoa!! Those wall sits that Daniel was doing… just whoa. I don’t know how he didn’t die. I’m not sure why Jillian is complaining that he isn’t losing much weight each week. Yeah it’s only week 6, but he’s been on this weight-loss journey for much longer than 6 weeks. He’s already lost a bagillian pounds. Anyways, he had a break-through last night. He broke down about how his mom always encouraged him to lose weight but he always thought it was because she didn’t think he was good enough, he’s now realizing that it’s because she loves him. GREAT progress! I’m so proud of him!

On to the weigh-in. We see that all starts off as usual. Bob and Jillian stood there looking tough, Alison is in a cute outfit, and Tracey’s hair is all out of whack. The blue team goes first. Tracey lost 4 pounds. How is that possible? Isn’t she a witch? Hasn’t she been losing weight even when she wasn’t working out? How is it that she is working out and is only losing 4 pounds?? Makes no sense to me. (Side note: When I choose the titles of the posts, I like to pick a short one-liner that is either funny or sums up the episode. There weren’t any of those this week. There was one funny line, which I am about to share, but it was about four or five words too long for a title. Plus, Tracey said it and I don’t really want her quote on my title.) But Tracey knows that her four pounds is not very good. She says, “Four shmore! Go roast some marshmallows because it’s not enough!” WHAT? Seriously, what?

Okay, that’s the last time I’ll mention Tracey tonight.

Rudy lost 14 pounds. Amazing. He’s now lost 87 pounds in 6 weeks. If he loses 13 pounds next week, he’ll hold the record for the quickest person to lose 100 pounds on the ranch. I hope he does it! At this point we learned that the black team needs to lose 45 pounds to stay safe. Since they were at home, the chances aren’t good. Shay lost 5 pounds and is excited. I’m not quite sure why. Yes, losing 5 pounds is great but when you are 411 pounds, you should be losing more. I’ve seen this show a lot, I should know. Abby only lost four but ever the optimist, she says, “I’m just happy because now I know that this can be done in real life.” Very true. Good message. We got a quick glimpse of hope when Danny lost 15 pounds (whoa!) but it was quickly ripped from our grasp when Daniel gained a pound. Black team to the elimination room.

Before entering the elimination room, it looked like they were debating between Dina and Daniel. There was a quick mention of Shay but I think they all know she needs to be there. Danny had immunity so he was out of the question. I don’t want to be insensitive but why aren’t they even considering Abby? I know she’s gone through some awful stuff but she’s injured and probably can’t lose as much as Dina or Daniel. Don’t hear what I’m not saying- I don’t WANT her to go… I just don’t see why they aren’t considering her.

In the end, Dina got voted off. No tears were shed. That’s odd.

She looks great. She went from 253 to 188! In other news: she finally was able to jump on the box (yay) and she got a make-over (double yay).

Next week looks like a great episode! It looks like the players will be going up against one other player in the weigh-in. At first glance, it appears that Tracey (oops, I mentioned her again) will be against Abby. I wonder who we’re all going to be cheering for! It also looks like there will be a number of breakdowns. CAN’T WAIT!!

Ten on Tuesday – Because My Mind is Still Mush

I don’t plan to do this each week but I fear that there is a great chance I’ll post something ridiculous right now if I don’t. I’ve been really overwhelmed lately. I have this problem where I can’t say no so I over commit until I crash. I’m in crash mode now. I’m doing my best to clear out a few things so I can relax a bit. So bear with me today and lets just chat. Ten more riveting questions that we should definitely know about each other.

Once again, answer in the comments. If you answer on your blog, leave us the link in the comments so we can all visit.

1. What’s your favorite late night talk show?
Chelsea Lately, don’t judge my morals. She’s just so funny. She’s quick and her delivery leaves me in stitches! Plus she always has great clothes and her name is Chelsea. My sister lent me her book, “Are You There Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.” I haven’t started it because I’m such a prude and don’t know if I can handle it. But I’m going to give it a shot because I imagine I’ll really like her writing style.

2. If you got an all expense paid week-long trip for two, where would you go and who would you take?
I think I’d go to New York and do EVERYTHING. But since I should really consider my husband’s feelings, we’d probably go to Europe. I’d like to go to France or some place with lots of good cheese, like Switzerland. Stephen would like to go to Spain. Since his desire to go to Spain is greater than my goal to eat cheese (not by much), we’d probably go to Spain.

3. What’s your stance on Botox?
I think wrinkles are charming. They show character and that you are a human and not a robot.

4. I have to read a few classic novels for my 101 in 1001. Do you have any recommendations?
I can’t answer this.

5. Have you ever broken any bones?
I broke my arm in elementary school. I fell off a trampoline. I wasn’t even jumping! I just stepped backwards and there was no trampoline left. I was such a cry baby when I was younger that my parents didn’t believe me. (Insert boy who cries wolf lesson here.) I went two days without going to the doctor.

6. What are your top five favorite television shows?
In no particular order: The Office, Biggest Loser, Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy, and Iron Chef. (The last one is a toss up. I just think Iron Chef is educational and I enjoy watching the creativity. But the same applies to Chopped, Barefoot Contessa, etc. I just really love cooking shows.)

7. What is something you are embarrassed to admit?
I used to LOVE Oprah. I even own a DVD set. Now? Not so much.

8. Best movie line ever?
“I don’t know… I don’t know if we’ll have time.” – Old School
“You can say that about anyone until the first time they don’t show.” – For Love of the Game
“I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly.” – You’ve Got Mail
“Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies. I’d send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address.” – You’ve Got Mail

9. Cupcakes, cakes, or brownies?
Cupcakes. They are so cute!

10. Can somebody PUH-LEASE help me find a dress to wear to a few weddings this winter??
I can’t answer this one either. But I’d like something gray and I’d like it to be under $50 because I’m poor.

It feels sort of weird answering my own questions! But I do it… for you… because I love you so much. Now you should answer my questions since you love me so much.

Other things you need to know. Biggest Loser tonight! Also, I got a pumpkin spice latte this morning and it was glorious.

In Heaven There Is No Beer

That’s why we drink it here

And when we’re all gone from here

All our friends will be drinkin’ all our beer

Remember two Fridays ago when you all wished my grandpa a happy 75th birthday? (Thanks for that, by the way.) The past Friday, the family came to town and we celebrated with him. Many of you may not know this about me but my maiden name is Rosenhagen. Many of you may not know this about our name but Rosenhagen means “proud Germans who drink.” That may or may not be a loose translation. And I may or may not have made that up 5 seconds ago. Nevertheless, that’s what we are. I’ll prove it.

We gathered at my aunt and uncle’s house for some drinks and appetizers. We made my grandma and grandpa hang out in the front living room while we hid in the bedroom to craft our super cool hats and practice our song. I considered posting the video of this song because, well, you just wouldn’t believe it unless you saw it. But I’m hesitant to show you because I fear that it’s brilliance will cause me to become blog-famous overnight and I’m not quite sure I can handle that. Plus my cousins are in the video and they are in junior high and I think junior high is a bit to early to become famous. Child stars are such jerks. And because I don’t want my cousins to become jerks, I’m not posting the video. But it was awesome. It was titled “Pullin’ a Ron” and discussed classy things like mooning people and the scent of his car after a meal of sauerkraut. Good stuff.

After our sweet serenade we loaded into 4 vehicles and drove to Rudy Lechner’s in Houston. Because nothing says “We love you Grandpa” quite like red cabbage and German music. I had a Weiner Schnitzel (no, it’s not tubed meat) and some German wine. Right next to us was the band. They were this German couple and they were wearing clothes that weren’t purchased from Party City. They were pretty entertaining. Being a few generations from the true Germans in our family, I didn’t recognize most of the music. I did, however, appreciate when he took off his hat, put on a red bandana, and sang “On the Autoban” in true Willie form.

Here are a few pictures to make you jealous that you aren’t related to the Rosenhagens.

Rosenhagens do arts and crafts.

They show up to the restaurant wasted.
(Totally kidding. That’s my cousin- she’s only 16. Apparently Stephen put my camera on the “trashed” setting. But seriously, isn’t she beautiful?)

Rosenhagens grow facial hair and unibrows in 7th grade.

The men expand with their pregnant wives.

Rosenhagens sing German songs louder than anyone else in the restaurant. If Rudy Lechner’s was junior high, we were definitely the popular table. Everyone wanted our cool hats.

So there is a glimpse into my family life. We are goofy and crazy but we certainly have a lot of love going around. It was a special treat to do this for my grandpa. I’m just glad we come from a fun culture!

In Heaven there is no beer
That’s why we drink it here
And when we’re all gone from here
All our friends will be drinkin’ all our beer