Settle Down Houston

December 7, 2009 at 9:42 am 39 comments

It snowed in Houston on Friday. I’m sure you heard. If you don’t live in Houston you probably still knew about it because it was on national news. Stephen and I even saw it on Hannity as they were mocking global warming.

Last Monday we heard it might happen. Rumors spread through the city like mosquitoes after a rainy summer day. There was excitement, skepticism, butterflies in our tummies. If we’re going to be completely honest, I didn’t believe it. I’ve lived in Houston, Texas for 25 years and I’ve seen it snow 4 times. FOUR TIMES. So excuse me if I thought that people were getting a bit ahead of themselves. But I was wrong. It snowed and we set two records. It was the earliest date that it ever snowed in Houston. Additionally, this is the first time it’s snowed two years in a row in Houston. Fun facts, huh?

Something crazy is going on in Houston.

Saturday was a big day for the Space City. Ree Drummond came in town. If you don’t know who that is, leave my blog at once. Just kidding. Kind of.

Ree is most commonly known as the Pioneer Woman. She has this little blog in a tiny corner of the internet where she tells dumb stories and makes crappy food. Not so much. She’s definitely the most successful blogger out there and her food is fantastic. Her photography is great. Her stories are hilarious. Basically, if you aren’t reading her blog, you are really missing out.

So as I was saying, she came to Houston on Saturday for her book tour. I got her cookbook for my birthday and knew I needed to get it signed so that the food tasted right. I had been waiting for this day for a long time. As the day approached, the thought of meeting PW made me want to hurl. I considered sending my book with someone else because I was scared that as soon as I saw her, my IBS would act up or I’d faint. Fainting would be embarrassing but not too terrible. She’d definitely remember me. She’d probably write a blog about this crazy chick that fainted as she was signing her book. She say something clever about how far a 6 foot tall girl has to fall. It would be sad. But it would probably end my life if my body chose not to faint but, instead, chose to hurl or… worse. I wasn’t sure I was willing to take that risk.

I live on the wild side though. And I knew that if one of those things happened, at least it was be good blog material. I love y’all that much.

So I went. On Saturday morning I picked up my non-blogging friend Kelly and we met up with some of my blog friends at Georgia’s Market in Katy. We arrived at about 11:30 and ate a sub-par $9 lunch that consisted of a salad bar with no preservatives, the most tasteless chicken noodle soup I’ve ever had in my life, and some chocolate cake. For the record, I’m okay with some preservatives in my life.

We settled into our chairs and waited for PW to come talk. Besides the fact that the chairs were practically on top of each other, I didn’t mind the wait. I got to chat with Kathleen, Lauren, and Darla. (Their names are links – click to visit their blogs.) Then the time came. Some woman came to the front and talked to us about the bookstore and about the venue. None of us listened because we were all well aware that we were in the same building as PW. The woman called her name, everyone screamed. She didn’t come out. A few minutes went by and she called her name again, everyone screamed. Then she came out. This is what I saw.

She sat down and did some Q&A. When I raised my camera in the air, this is what I saw.

DUMB. Hi Ree, I’m sure it was great to see you. The people in the front row probably really enjoyed it. I enjoyed listening to you though… for what it’s worth. The Q&A only lasted about 10-20 minutes and then it was time for the lines to form.

As I was waiting in line I thought, “What the heck am I going to talk about??” I didn’t want to sound like everyone else. “Hi Ree. I love your blog. I’ve made a bunch of your recipes and they are really great. I think you’re funny.” She hears that all day.

First it was Darla’s turn. I don’t know what she said but I do know that she started to walk away without taking a photo or getting her camera from the lady in charge of pictures. Nerves do crazy things to a woman.

Then it was Lauren. She talked a lot. I know she mentioned something about Twitter. (Incase you haven’t heard, PW re-tweeted Lauren. Or whatever it’s called. Regardless, it was amazing.)

Then Kathleen. I think I blacked out during this time.

My turn. Oh my gosh. My turn. I walked up and didn’t hurl or faint or anything else. I just said (no lie), “I wish I had something cool to tell you but I don’t.” Smooth. Original. Hilarious. “That’s okay. Just say hi.” So I did. And she signed my books and I told her I was a blogger. Like she cared. And then we took this picture.

And it was all over. And honestly, I was disappointed. Not because of her. No. She’s great. She’s funny and friendly and so beautiful that it makes you want to touch her face. I was disappointed overall. Like I was after watching Twilight. I had built it up and then it was over. And we weren’t best friends. And she didn’t say, “OMG, I am so addicted to your blog! We should totally hang out tonight!” I had approximately 20 seconds with her and then it was over. And I looked like a fool.

Kelly’s turn was next. I have no idea what she said to PW either because I was too busy mourning the last 30 seconds of my life. I do know that Kelly turned bright red at some point. I think it was when Ree told her she liked her jewelry.

In sum, it was an oh-so-embarrassing day for all of us. But she did announce that she’s publishing her Tractor Wheels novel and I’m sure I’ll go to that book signing as well. I’ll probably walk up to her and say, “Once again I have nothing cool to say.” Or maybe I’ll have a baby by then so she will pay more attention to me and take my picture for her blog. And then my stomach will turn and I’ll tell her to hold my baby while I faint.

And that is precisely why I’m a blogger. I don’t do well with real, live people.  But leave me a comment and we can be best friends.

-Ten on Tuesday Questions are posted! Click the button on the right. I think I’m going to do without Mr Linky tomorrow. Just leave your link in the comments.

-If you haven’t entered the giveaway, there is still time. Go here by Wednesday night and enter. Can someone please answer me this: Why would someone come to my blog and NOT enter?? You do know that it’s free, right? And you won’t be spammed or added to a list? And it’s like real, delicious meat? Yeah. If you didn’t enter… you are weird. And that’s all I have to say about that!

Entry filed under: Blogging, Chelsea. Tags: , , , .

The Way Texans Do Christmas Ten on Tuesday (9)

39 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Angela  |  December 7, 2009 at 10:29 am

    I am incredibly jealous that you met Ree! I wish she was coming to Canada. Oh! I converted a friend to her blog on the weekend. She was new to blogging and hadn’t heard about The Pioneer Woman at all.

  • 2. Darla  |  December 7, 2009 at 10:29 am

    SO funny!

    I had TOTALLY forgotten about forgetting to take the picture but laughed out loud when I read your recount of it. I may have to go back and change my post. I think I blocked that particular goofy moment out of my memory.

    AND PW RETWEETED LAUREN?!? I can’t believe it!!! Doesn’t that mean PW follows Lauren on Twitter? For realz?!? I follow PW but I am 100% confident she doesn’t follow me. I need details!

    Please tell Kelly hi for me and that she needs a blog so I can tell her myself. 🙂

    Congrats to your Longhorns. Unbelieveable.

    Great to “meet” (as in face to face) you too!

  • 3. This Heavenly Life  |  December 7, 2009 at 10:36 am

    AAAaaahhh!!! I can feel your emotions 🙂 I wish I would have been able to go to a book signing, but I KNOW I would have had the exact same reaction you did. I’d wonder why it didn’t go exactly as I’d dreamed it would, where she’d pull me aside to have a really cool discussion and then she’d LOVE my blog and invite me to the ranch for some chocolate sheet cake. And she’d take my picture to post on her blog with all the other cool people she met, and the caption would be something like, “This girl reminds me SO much of myself at that age…ya’ll should visit her awesome blog, because she does the coolest leprechaun kick around! Plus, she’s gorgeous — I mean, look at that hot pink face!”

    But, I’m glad to have experienced it via Chelsea! That’s a really good picture you came away with — I’d say you hold your own against PW just fine 🙂

  • 4. Southern Gal  |  December 7, 2009 at 10:54 am

    I want to go get my book signed, but I’m with you. What to say? Anything I say will sound stupid or else she’s heard it 100 times before. So thanks for the recap. I think I’ll survive without having my book signed.

    Oh, I remember she posted her mailing address on her blog so you can mail it to her to sign. That might be the ticket. Signature with no awkward silent moments. Wonder how much it will cost to send it media mail? Hmmm.

  • 5. osarah  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:01 am

    They made a terrible decision to name it “global warming.” What is really should be called is “global climate change.” Maybe then more people would take it seriously. What do you think?

    (And I don’t know who “they” are. Scientists? World leaders? Horrible marketing execs? heh)

    — Gotta finish reading your blog later. getting kicked out of my office for some internet work.—

  • 6. kimberly reisinger  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:16 am

    Hi…great to hear from another local! But you’ll have to come back to my blog…you didn’t tell me what your favorite cookie recipe was!

    Loved your post about the snow…had me cracking up.

  • 7. HoustonGurly  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I was there with The Kid! I was looking all over for you because I knew you said you were going. That sucks! Oh well… Maybe some other time.

    I was a total dork when I met her. I was all, “Just a signature, please.” I didn’t want it personalized, I just wanted her signature. Then she said, “I can do general.” Then she mentioned that she’s had so many pictures with her mouth open.. I said, “I know” She looked at me kinda weird and I said, “I read your blog. That and my kiddo took a picture of you while you were talking.” Errrrr! I felt so WEIRD!

    Did you get a t-shirt? I did, but I’ll never be able to wear it because it’s so SMALL. I got a large, but it fits like a small. Dang it!

  • 8. Kyla Roma  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:37 am

    Aw- it’s hard meeting people that are so epicly huge, honestly it’s why I don’t read big blogs. Dooce & PW just aren’t for me because I’ll never really connect with them & they’ll never really connect with me.

    Going to Vegas last year for the unofficial 20SB meet up was amazing because it was like meeting celebrities who also think you are a celebrity. There was screaming, laughing, and sharing drinks and stories. It’s totally amazing! Maybe you should come this year? =)

  • 9. mom  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:42 am

    I agree with “The Heavenly Life” – the Pioneer Woman doesn’t have ANYTHING on my cutie patootie girl! The pic is great! (You look soooo good in that color!) 🙂

  • 10. kelly  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:51 am

    hi darla!! maybe i’ll start a blog one day.

    yes i turned red. its my trademark. i think i told everyone i saw that day that pdub liked my jewelry…even people who have no idea who she is and make fun of me for reading blogs.

  • 11. thatmarriedcouple  |  December 7, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    We lived in Houston for basically the past four years, and missed both snows! Now we’re in Pennsylvania and you should’ve heard my husband complaining about how Houston got snow before us!!

    And I loved hearing about you meeting the Pioneer Woman. Your pics cracked me up. You should totally bring a baby with you next time, even if it’s not yours!

  • 12. Sister  |  December 7, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    When I met Jen Lancaster, I was so nervous! She sounds so cool in her memoirs and she is even cooler in person! All I said was “hi” because we have nothing in common..she’s a preppy ex-sorority girl and I’m, well, not. Charlotte was the cool one who sat and talked to her for, like, ever.

    I’m just not that cool.

    But hey! I was able to hold up a conversation with Misty May and Kerri that’s gotta say something!

  • 13. Amy --- Just A Titch  |  December 7, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    I can totally relate—I froze when I met both Dooce AND Anne Lamott, two of my writing heroes. I think meeting people “offline” is so, so scary! I will write my life story on the internet, but meeting internet celebs? Eeep.

    I’m going to second Kyla up there and say that you, Lauren and Kathleen need to come to Vegas this year. Texas needs to be represented, and I’d love to meet all three of y’all!

  • 14. Cousin Kim  |  December 7, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    have I told you about me meeting Stephen Curtis Chapman (whom I have adored my entire life??)…. Lemme just say – it was uneventful and forgettable (for him – not me). I think it’s just WAYYYYY tooo much to handle for us “commoners” – we try and try to think of something UNBELIEVEABLE to say that will knock them off their feet and say, “Oh mah gawd…where have you been my whole life?” It’s wayyyyy too much pressure. We can’t compete with the millions that these celebrities encounter on a yearly basis. C’mon. I think jewelry or babies is probably the only way to go here. Plus, things like this are always good for a lesson on humility. :o)
    Chels, I love you – and I am glad you finally got to see/meet Ree. She is just a person – that had a great idea. And I agree with your mom – she’s got nothing on you in the looks department!

  • 15. osarah  |  December 7, 2009 at 1:38 pm

    Ok, I got home, ate dinner and read the rest of your entry. Thanks for sharing your inner dialogue – I would have been thinking basically the same thing about meeting her.

  • 16. jenferlouise  |  December 7, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    I’m glad you didn’t faint. It’s embarrassing! (Been there, done that.)

  • 17. Sweet Pea  |  December 7, 2009 at 2:14 pm

    How fun, I went also it was great but I was let down also. I just knew she would say I’ve read your blog, etc etc. I dream big.

    I think at her next book signing all us blogging gals should be prepared to meet up, that would be cool, or maybe we can have a sign, bloggers here!

  • 18. Alyssa  |  December 7, 2009 at 2:26 pm

    Did you get a t-shirt? I’ve only been to her blog once but now I want to meet her too!

  • 19. Amanda  |  December 7, 2009 at 3:05 pm

    She didn’t come anywhere near me and I’m STILL sad about it 😦

  • 20. Fifteen Minutes of Faint Fame «  |  December 7, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    […] 7, 2009 by jenferlouise In response to Chelsea’s fears of fainting when meeting Pioneer Woman, I have a fun (embarrassing) little […]

  • 21. Lyndsey  |  December 7, 2009 at 4:04 pm

    You are so funny! I would just like to point out to your blog friends who have never met you in person that the awkwardness is only in your head. You appear smart and confident and graceful… like a very tall gazelle. You definately don’t seem like you might faint or hurl.

  • 22. Debbie  |  December 7, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    omg. again, we’ve got that in common, too. for the FIVE hours i was in line i went through about 42571 “fun” things or oneliners I could say or ask her or anything that might set me apart from the bajillions that she meets all the time. in the end, i asked her something dumb and afterwards felt retarted for not having a cooler question. oh well! still fun to meet her. so how long were ya’ll in line?

  • 23. Erin  |  December 7, 2009 at 4:45 pm

    OH GIRL I almost guffawed out loud when I read this, but my baby is sleeping in my lap and that would have woken him up. But I giggled on the inside. That’s exactly sometime I would have done. I’m so jealous you got to meet her!!

  • 24. Gabby  |  December 7, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    I totally thought that your post was gonna end with, “and Ree invited me and my bloggy friend Gabby to her ranch for a three week vacation with her family where she will cook for us, let us post on her blog, and have us try out new recipes while we live in the lodge”.


  • 25. Jill  |  December 7, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    I’m sorry you felt disappointed after you met Ree…but I know what you mean. Things are never in real life all that you imagine they will be! (well, not never, but ya know what I mean). At least ya met her–You’re cooler than I on that account 😉

  • 26. Stephany  |  December 7, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    I don’t think I would’ve been able to say anything! I would’ve probably just shoved the book in her face, got all red, and looked like a major dork. Because that’s how I roll.

  • 27. Joy  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:06 pm

    Great post!!

    PW is coming to a town near me and I was working up the courage to go. Your descripion is so goofy and lovely and totally not scarey, so probably it is something I could do

  • 28. Samantha  |  December 7, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    I probably would have done the same thing. Actually, I probably would have forgotten my camera in addition to saying something silly. At least you got a nice picture with her! 🙂 And lucky you that you got to meet her!

  • 29. Aimee Belcher  |  December 8, 2009 at 2:46 am

    I love this for two reasons. One, I am a fellow Houstonian but sadly am away at school and missed the snow. But everyone I know and everyone I don’t know was talking about it. Secondly, I had this same exact meet and greet experience. Mine was not with PW but with a favorite band of mine. I think I pondered it too long and got too excited and I was so let down. They were awesome and friendly and the hugs were good but I had created totally unrealistic daydreams of “what if” scenarios in my mind in the weeks leading up to the actual event. Then it happened. And it was over. The end. Sad, but I’ll deal. Glad to see I’m not the only one who has these conflicting emotions!

  • 30. Federica  |  December 8, 2009 at 4:54 am

    Thanks for having entered the Christmas Giveaway and good luck to you!
    Have a nice day,

  • 31. abby  |  December 8, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    OMG! I am so jealous! I love PW and she isn’t coming to Kentucky on her book tour :(. I’m so glad that she’s publishing her Tractor Wheels book! I’m on XXVII and totally engrossed in her love story. I think it will be a best seller!

    Anyway, your picture is cute and I’m sure that she enjoyed meeting you:)

  • 32. Ashley  |  December 8, 2009 at 6:23 pm

    I’m glad you didn’t faint! Although I’m super jealous that you had a book signing near you!

  • 33. Tiffany  |  December 13, 2009 at 10:19 am

    So glad to meet another Houston blogger!

  • 34. Anna Tew  |  December 13, 2009 at 11:13 am

    I was there too.. hahaha reading your story is like reading my own. I thought of 100 witty things to say, but… then I got there and sounded like a squirrel on caffeine.

    I’m glad I wore a sweater so the sweat didn’t show.

  • 35. Donna  |  December 13, 2009 at 12:27 pm

    Hi, I live in Canada and I am a Pioneer Woman (Ree) fan too. I loved your honesty about not being a real live people person. I wouldn’t know what to say to her either. It was great to hear you be honest and admit that it was a disappointment after all the build-up about it. I hope we can be blog friends.

    I think that if I was their it may have had the same affect.

    I do read her blog everyday too tho!


  • 36. Southern Gal  |  December 13, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Hey, aren’t you something?
    I just clicked over here from none other than PW’s site!!! You’ve made the big time. Lauren, too.
    So exciting!!

  • 37. melissa  |  December 13, 2009 at 7:16 pm

    I was thinking the same thing (I’m so nervous, what do I say, what if I get up there and look like an idiot and laugh and sweat the entire time, will I seem like a crazy fan if I tell her she was instrumental in getiting me into food photography, etc.)–in the end we all want to say something brilliant and memorable but most people just can’t do that on demand! Even FDR wasn’t originally going to say “a day that will life in infamy” and sort of stumbled into it last minute. But in the grand scheme of things I am sure that there is someone for whom you have been memorable. 🙂

  • 38. Jen  |  December 14, 2009 at 9:12 am

    I saw your blog on Ree’s site and had to do a double take! My blog is “Roots & Wings”! Glad to hear you had a good time at the signing! I’m hoping Santa will leave me a little cookbook under the tree…!

  • 39. Nothing «  |  December 9, 2010 at 7:16 am

    […] Tonight there is a Girl’s Night Out event at my church. My blog friend, Darla, will be speaking. (Hey Darla!) I may or may not have had something to do with that. Our church is always looking for good speakers and I knew Darla had a special Christmas message, so I did my magic help-my-bloggity-buds-out dance and got her booked. I’m excited to see her! I haven’t seen her since we met when PW came to town and we were all so nervous we almost fainted. […]

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