Archive for December 30, 2009

The Reason My Sister In Law Deserves An Award

The average newborn is 7.5 pounds. The average woman is 5’4. These are things to remember throughout this post. Another thing to remember: excluding C-Section (which she did not have), there is only one way for a baby to get out of it’s momma.

This is my sister-in-law, Laura. Next to her is my brother, Justin. This was on our cruise over Spring Break.

Neither of them are average, as you can see. Laura is like 5’2 and probably about negative 100 pounds. She is tiny.

She was getting pretty big the last month or so of her pregnancy. She hadn’t gained a single ounce anywhere but her belly. About two weeks ago, the doctor told her that Avery was probably about 7 pounds. Doctors can be wrong. Did you know that? This doctor was either wrong, or Avery is super-human.

Family, friends, strangers, and internet. I introduce to you…. Avery Claire.

All (not average) 9 pounds .02 ounces of her. I would say that they switched the babies in the nursery but that’s not possible. Justin saw it happen. Live and in the flesh.

Tiny Laura + Chunky Avery = … do the math. Laura needs some major recovery prayers.

Proud daddy. (Let me take a moment to gather myself…. my brother is a daddy…. oh my gosh… my brother… is a… daddy…)

 

Those are my parents. Mom and Dad, what are you new names? Word on the street is that my mom may go by Nana. I haven’t heard any rumors about my dad yet.

That’s my sister. And my niece.

Stephen, me, my bangs, and Avery. Have I ever told you I have tiny, bony wrists?

I’m smiling because I’m dreaming about holding her thighs. I love fat baby thighs. They are one of life’s great joys. She didn’t want her thighs squeezed last night but she told me I could do it in a couple weeks.

I know, I know. SHE’S AMAZING!

The whole family, minus Laura.

Avery,

Welcome! We’re so glad you’re here and healthy. I can’t wait to get to know you and love on you. You are beautiful and so very special to all of us.

I hope your birth wasn’t as traumatic for you as it was for your parents. The doctor thought you could use that time in there to cook a bit more but it seems like you’re quite done. The buzzer should have gone off a few weeks ago.

I hope you don’t get mad at me when you’re a teenager for putting you on the internet. It’s just that so many people wanted to see your pretty face.

 Miss Avery, I love you so much and already miss you. Can I please pinch your cheeks?

Love,
Aunt Chelsea

Leave some love for Justin, Laura, and Avery!

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December 30, 2009 at 9:56 am 51 comments


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