Loser 9.2: Is This Legal?

Week two- stereotypically not the best week. So this should be fun. (Blogging as I’m watching, can you tell?)

The first thing that strikes me is that I don’t know anyone’s name. I think that the first few weeks they should have their names on the back of their shirts. Are you hearing me NBC?? I keeping talking to you, you keep ignoring me.

I love Bob. “Like I don’t know it hurts!” I love that he spends time to care for the contestants. Not just to psycho-analyze them, but to care for them and fight for them.

WOW – two breakdowns at the beginning of week two. These trainers are on fire! First Michael. Then John. Wow John. He said he eats comfort food because he’s cursed. Everyone in his life has died, most of them at a young age. Gotta feel for the guy. It’s hard to find fault in a situation like that- honestly, I’m not sure that I wouldn’t be over 400 pounds if everyone in my life had died. I’m not so sure that you wouldn’t be over 400 pounds if everyone in your life had died.

Dr. H came to the ranch to talk about their sickness. (Sickness = Severe Obesity) I’m on the team that likes the term “sickness” to describe it. Why? Because it’s bad for your health and can be cured. Dr. H gave each team a health test. It wasn’t fascinating but it was interesting. And if it reached even one viewer, it was worth it. Dr. H showed them things like how their weight effects their finances, their families, etc. Jillian tried to eat Mexican food and she spit it out like a yankee. Drop the dramatics, Jill, everyone likes nachos! You just got a cold plate and that sucks.

The contestants headed to a pool for the challenge. Each team had to cross a balance beam (3.5 inches wide) holding a ball and put 10 balls into a basket thing on the other side of the pool. The winning team wins immunity and the losing team gets a two pound penalty in the weigh-in. (Why? Why do they do that? Why a penalty? I don’t think that’s necessary.) They aren’t very good at this challenge. It came down to the black team and the red team. The red team won. I felt awful for the white team- Momma White is afraid of the water and was having a panic attack. Poor girl. That’s like if a bunch of people were holding pocket knives and flailing their arms around in front of me. So then she started to try and she panicked and fell and busted her nose. It was a lot of blood for a nose, we couldn’t quite figure it out. Turns out, she hit her nose which gave herself a nice shiner and she fractured her finger.

Jillian took her to the pool and made her face her fear. I LOVE when they do that.

Extra Sugarfree Gum. Dr. H continues with the assessments. GE Electronic Assessment System. It was shocking to see the outline of Michael’s body and how much fat is surrounding him. I think it was good for him to see that. Momma Orange’s inner age is 24 years older than she is. I didn’t know she was a smoker too. We decided that her body is probably in shock and she’s probably royally pissed off. Did you SEE the video of Koli sleeping?? Interrupted sleep 100 times an hour! How is that even possible?? Pink Daughter is 30 years older from her weight. She also found out she has diabetes. She was shocked, we were not. I’m excited for these contestants, I think this lit a fire under the booties.

“I really think I would rather stick needles into my eyes than do a last chance workout in week two.” Nice, Jillian. I think Jillian is one of those people who shouldn’t wear baseball hats. Her head is too tiny, she looks like a toddler. Bob made the guys walk on the treadmill with their hands up. They weren’t pleased with this. Miss Pink (Ashley) was challenged this week. “I accomplished something today. Yeah, it hurt. I gagged a lot. But I didn’t DIE!” I think I like her.

WEIGH IN TIME. Alison is Bumpin it and she has a shirt on that I’m pretty sure belongs in my closet.

Red: Melissa (+1) & Lance (8) – 1.25% (won immunity)
Gray: Sam (9) & Koli (8) – 2.34%
Pink: Ashley (8) & Sherry (5) – 2.35%
Green: Migdalia (4) & Miggy (8) – 2.53%
Purple: Patti (4) & Stephanie (3) – 1.5%
Orange: Cheryl (3) & Daris (7) – 1.89%
Brown: John (10 ) – 2.17%
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (10) – 2.25%
White: Maria (10) & Michael (11) – 2.5%

So the purple team fell below the yellow line. Instantly, visions of Helen filled our minds. Certainly Patti wouldn’t insist on staying on campus and sending her daughter home. OF COURSE NOT. She’s not Helen, there’s only one Helen. She told them to send her home because she has a support system and then she mispronounced “finale.”

The contestants honored their wishes and sent her home. She’s lost 43 pounds and home and got a hot momma haircut. She’s looking great!!! She’s improved her health and is no longer on 9 medicines. Whoo hoo. YAY BIGGEST LOSER! 

HooooZENGA