Loser 9.03:Alley-Oop

I haven’t made it to all of the ToTers. I’m working on it though! Thanks to all of you for participating!

Live blogging- which means my tenses are going to be going crazy. Sorry Charlie.

We checked in with the blue team and yellow team to see their progress at home. (If you remember, they were both sent home week one since they lost the bike challenge. They have 30 days at home and then they’ll weigh in. The team that has lost the most weight gets to come back to the ranch.)

Whoa nelly. New move this week. Student Teacher Week. One member of each team will be the student and one will be the teacher. The teacher will train with the trainers, the student will learn from the teacher. ONLY the student will weigh in at the weigh in. In order to choose the teachers, there is a temptation. Whoever eats the most “chocolate candies” wins. I don’t know why you’d want to win this. Don’t they watch this show?? NOTHING good comes from winning a temptation that allows you to make decisions for the rest of the group. Plus, this is DUMB. Who cares? There is no way of knowing who will lose more weight.

Pink team won by eating 10 calories- 2 candies. They “instantly regret” it. DUH.  

Green team is immediately peeved about their decision. Migdalia has flames coming out of her ears. It’s not flattering. Ladies, if there are ever flames coming out of your ears, FIX IT, they make you ugly. As they were explaining the situation to Bob and Jillian, she sat in a chair off to the side and kept telling Bob “everything is fine” between eye rolls.

Dear Reader,
I officially don’t like the green team.
Chelsea

Bob and Jill met with each teacher to discuss their student’s workout and meal plan. Then they worked out. I want to hit Migdalia. She was totally shut down. When she escaped to the restroom, Bob and Jillian got together to talk about how to handle hurt. I LOVED being in on that discussion. They decide that Jill needs to turn the mean on. BREAK HER DOWN GIRL. I am currently thinking that Migdalia might punch her in the face. Question after question, she avoided eye contact and answered with one syllabal answers. You could see the frustration in Jillians eyes. Did it get warm in your part of the country around 7:25? Because my blood was boiling something fierce and I’m sure it had an effect on the atmosphere. After pushing and pushing, she did just as they suspected. She walked out. And… Jillian followed. She decided she wants to go home.

Jillian found Miggy and told her not to allow her to go. Know what? I don’t like Miggy either. They both seem to have an oak tree sized stick up their hinies. So here’s the quick rundown of the rest of the drama. Miggy goes to the room and they talk in Spanish about crap Jillian said. “She insinuated that you were a bad mom.” I disagree… you inherited traits from your mother and now you two are enabling each other. That’s all she’s saying. Jillian and Bob have a freak out about the situation and Jillian instructs Bob to go finish it, make her stay. He goes and chats and she decides to stay. Miggy said, “Coming here is to change our ways, not to change our personalities.” Ummm I think we’re allll missing the point here. Nobody is challenging your personality because WE DON’T KNOW YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A STATUE. But, yes, there are probably a few traits about you that could stand to be changed. Like maybe you can have some thoughts and feelings. “You’re like your mother and your daughter is going to be like you” is not an unfair statement. It’s truth.

take a breath chelsea

Now it’s time for the teachers to teach. Looks like there might be some inner turmoil in Mr. Black Team’s head. We shall see where that goes.

Walgreens. Seriously??

California Health Longevity Institute. Hey Curtis Stone – I know who you are this year since I’m such a great Loser watcher. Today we’re discussing portion control since restaurants are out of control. Mur Glen Organic Tomatoes. Apparently they are low and sodium and blah blah blah. Ziplock.

Miggy called out Migdalia. She said that the reason she’s so angry is because she doesn’t know how to express herself. She actually cried. PRAISE THE LAWD! She encouraged her daughter to talk to Jillian more. Oh I hope she does!

(I want to see Valentine’s Day. Sorry, I don’t normally blog about the commercials but I just thought y’all should know. That’s the sort of thing I would tell you any other day.)

Wow, are we really just now on hour two?? So yeah, I’m already 790 words into it. Sorry y’all.

Challenge time. I don’t like Alison’s outfit. Turquoise shirt with a leopard print cami underneath. No thanks. Teacher has to take a 1000 foot string and wrapped all up into a playground. Then they’ll draw to see which string they have to unravel. And now I see that by “string” we really mean “really giant ribbon.” Note to Black Team Girl, you could just ROLL the spool under the jungle gym instead of crawling under there. I’m just sayin’…

OH SUCK. Alison just announced that they will actually be untangling their own ribbons (wait for it) blindfolded. Bahahahaha! Pink Mom is telling her daughter, “See that ribbon, put it through there.” She is blindfolded, lady! No she doesn’t see the ribbon. Looks like red team is going to dominate because he was a commercial diver and is used to being directed through areas that he can’t see through. The white team tied knots all over, which of course screws them over royally, and then it ended up screwing everyone else over because it got other ribbons stuck. Gray team won. I really wanted them to tonga dance like Sione and Filipe would have. Boo hiss.

So as the winners they get immunity and they get to switch one teacher student combo. Which means that one teacher who originally thought that he/she wouldn’t be weighing in (read: they slacked all week) will now be weighing in (read: they’ll suck on the scale). Protein2Go. And now the pink team is realizing that they’ve stacked the deck against themselves because Pink Daughter has to weigh in against all the big guys.

Weigh In –

Gray: Sam (11) & Koli (13)  – Immunity
Green: Migdalia (8) & Miggy (7) – 3.2%
Black: Andrea (7) & Darrel (12) – 3.22%
Orange: Cheryl (7) & Daris (9) – 2.9%
Brown/Purple: Stephanie (7) & John (14) – 3.10%
Red: Melissa (1) & Lance (12) – 3.57% – Miss Melissa is lying and pissing off Bob. Don’t piss off Bob. I like this team in general but this if just ridiculous. Tell the truth for crying out loud.
White: Maria (4) & Michael (10) – 2.08%
Pink: Ashley (12) & Sherry (6) – 3.48%

Which puts the white team below the yellow line. They were the team that the gray team chose to switch. Hopefully this will shock Michael into caring a bit about his time at the ranch.

(Also I think Parenthood is going to be a funny show.)

The contestants decided to vote Maria off. She started at 281 and is currently at 230. She’s conquering her fear of water! She surprised her family by learning to swim, her husband was beaming with pride. So sweet. So proud of her.

Next week: More drama with the red team. Someone who “holds a grudge forever” is not someone you want in your life, just a heads up on that. I appears that Melissa is going to lose a very large amount of weight and pretend to be shocked about it even thought she’s been adding water weight the past two weeks. Fun times!

Also, Lauren brought it to my attention that during the orange team’s weigh-in, Alison changed clothes. I totally missed that and I don’t have DVR to go back and see. But I trust my source. My source says that for a split second she had a green shirt on with her hair pulled back. WHAT’S THAT ABOUT BIGGEST LOSER???