Loser 9.05: We Almost Got Rid of Them

They started with a review of the phone calls from last week. Actually, not a review of them… they replayed them. Why? I’m sure we’ll see that some sort of emotional battle is about to happen. AHHHHH I SEE. It’s last week’s episode and for some reason it’s on an hour later. Did any of you know this?? If you knew and didn’t tell me, you’re in trouble.

(Excuse my while I let my laptop go to sleep and I watch Ace of Cakes. See you in an hour.)

And we’re back. (I thought you should know that I ate a piece of cheesecake during that break. We’re all about honesty here at Roots & Rings.) So now Miggy is there without her daughter which means she’s going to crash and burn, or she’s going to need to learn to make friends. At 2 in the morning 911 was called for Miggy. She was suffering severe abdominal pain so they took her to the hospital.

UGH, why does Alison get all the cute clothes? I love her black ruffley top! Everyone gathered around outside and the blue and yellow team arrived from home. They headed to the gym to weigh in but we’re surprised with Bob and Jillian there for a last chance workout. Fun times. Now on to the weigh in. The winning team not only gets immunity but they also get the only vote in this week’s elimination. Holy cow. That is bittersweet… and not a great way to make friends.

Blue: Cherita (24) & Victoria (39) – Total weight loss: 63 pounds – 9.92%
Yellow: Sunshine (25) & O’Neal (51) – Total weight loss: 76 pounds – 11.45%

Welcome to the ranch yellow team. It’s time to work out.

I really want to see Daris succeed. I like that kid. Melissa looked like she was going through childbirth when she was doing that leg thing. She was having a freaking cow. Not like, giving birth to a cow. No, having a cow. Like freaking out. And she was screaming at Bob. Melissa, please don’t scream at Bob. We like him.

Daris rocks. I want to hug him. (Why does Jillian always wear the same gray v-neck? To show off her guns?)

Commercial music is playing. JennieO Turkey. Let’s make some chili! Where’s the Fritos and the shredded cheese?? That’s just not chili!

Challenge time! Of course it’s football themed because it’s Superbowl week. Winner gets immunity and loser gets a 2 pound disadvantage. The players had to hit the fake lineman 1000 times. This wasn’t the most entertaining challenge, to say the least. Snoozer. But at least it was based on winning because you’re good, not winning because you eliminated the good people. You know how I hate those. It came down to white and gray. White won and he immediately started yelling, “I did it mom!” even though his mom isn’t actually there anymore. I love the gray team, but I think Mike needed it.

Miggy is back. She had surgery to remove her appendix, a cyst, and something else that I couldn’t understand. That’s rough. So we’re learning that Mike and Miggy are actually friends. Who knew?

Yoplait Smoothie. Bob, don’t act like this is like a new thing that you are learning. DUMB.

Dr. H met with Miggy to check out her scar. He also told her that during surgery they poured in a bunch of salt water and she now has 8-9 pounds of salt water in her system. Shocker of all shockers: Miggy cried. Like lots of tears. But then she said some crap about how she’s a failure. Yeah, not so much.

I love last chance workout. Do I say that every week? O’Neal is a tough man. Did you see his focus eyes? Pink team has no focus eyes. They have quit eyes. Ashley finally came out with the truth- she’s suffering because of her dad’s death. Yep, that’ll do it. Can’t say I blame her.

Love love love the interaction between purple girl and Sunshine! The joy on their faces! THIS is why I love this show! (Y’all, there have been so many typos. I need to cut my fingernails in a seriously bad way.) Bob had the contestants do yoga after their workout. Bob rocks at yoga. Get his DVD, for serious. (NBC, want to pay me for that endorsement?)

On to the weigh in. Everyone is nervous about this one.

Yellow: Sunshine (5) & O’Neal (5) – 1.7% Gameplay maybe? No shame.
White: Michael (13) – 2.85% Definitely no gameplay. Why not?
Pink: Ashley (9) & Sherry (6) – 2.54% Impressive Ashley!
Red: Melissa (5) & Lance (4) – 1.73% What the what?
Orange: Cheryl (3) & Daris (12) – 3.05% Yay Daris!!
Purple: Stephanie (5) – 2.17% Stephen just said, “Is she wearing a Bumpit?”
Gray: Sam (10) & Koli (6) – 2.42% Phew! My faves.
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (8) – 2.10%
Green: Miggy (5) – 2.37% This actually makes me happy because it puts the red team lower.
Brown: John (6) – % Crap crap crap!

No deliberation. John is the only one below the yellow line so he’s automatically sent home. Everyone cried. I love that guy. I wish him all the best at home and hope he kicks lots of butt! Started at 484, now at 380. He shaved. Whoo hoo! Dear goodness, his son is cute!

Next week: Individuals! And some drama, of course.