Predictions For Chelsea’s Life

This is a guest post from Tina. She was my journalism teacher in high school, now she’s just my friend.

I’m interrupting this love-fest between Chelsea and Stephen to guest blog about their baby on the way. Who am I, you ask, to barge in on you enjoying Chelsea and Stephen’s adorable his-and-her-posts of how they fell in love? I’m Chelsea’s high school journalism teacher–so in a small way, you owe me a few minutes to read to the end of this. After all, surely I influenced her in some small way. What is high school yearbook but a precursor to blogging? I’m sure that Big Mama and PW and all of Chelsea’s favorites were also editor-in-chiefs of their yearbooks.

Besides inspiring Chelsea’s love of sharing her daily drama (totally high school journalism, I’m telling you) ten years ago, I’m now a mother of three kids, and we have number four due in August. I’m no longer a teacher. Now I’m home with a five-year-old and two-year-old twins. Yes that’s a pair of two-year-olds. Who are in the throws of potty-training. Wow. That looks even scarier when I write it out loud.

But this isn’t about me, it’s about Chelsea, and you, if you’re still reading. You, loyal readers of R&R, have learned a lot about Chelsea through this blog. But I’m here to tell you that your life as a R&R reader is about to change. My guess? When Chelsea has a baby, she’ll learn a whole lot more about herself. It’s inevitable. Becoming a mother adds this entire other dimension–no, other galaxy–to your life that you didn’t even know was possible.

Here are my predictions:

Chelsea thinks she loves her parents. She has no idea. By the way, I’ve known her parents for years and she does love them. I love them. They’re wonderful people. But love for your parents, after you yourself have become a parent adds a whole new level. Or actually about four-hundred new levels. Yes, Chelsea comes from a good family–but there are two kinds of those. The first is the kind that does everything a good family should–celebrates holidays together, calls each other once a week, and tries not to end public restaurant outings by screaming at each other. And then there’s the second kind, the kind Chelsea has. This is the kind of family that likes each other too. That’s very handy when your life is suddenly dominated by a crying, adorable newborn. It’s I-can’t-find-the-right-words-and-I-love-words comforting to have a mom and dad who will come over and take a shift so you can sit on the bathroom floor for a few hours and read a People Magazine cover to cover. In a year the words, “I love you, Mom” will mean something completely different when Chelsea says them to her baby’s Nana.

And you’ve probably heard about this Chapstick obsession Chelsea has. It’s not an obsession until you see that you’ve passed your passion on to your child. The first time that little girl (I’m betting it’s a girl–you?) slips a cherry LipSmacker into her pocket–at nine months old–and cries if poor Stephen tries to pry it from her, Chelsea will see her obsession as it really is. It’ll be the feeling a potty-mouthed mommy gets when her son uses his first four-letter word on the playground. How a smoker must feel when his son sticks chalk in his mouth and tries to light it. “Oh, wow. Is THAT what I look like?” It may even be enough to break her tube-a-week habit.

Do any of Chelsea’s colleagues read this? Maybe I shouldn’t break it to you that Chelsea may not love her job. My guess? When the baby is about two-months-old and Chelsea hasn’t slept for more than an hour at a time and she’s still wearing Stephen’s sweatpants and has cut her finger trying to open a can of Spaghetti-Os she plans to eat for breakfast, but didn’t even notice the blood because she’s THAT tired–when all that happens, her years sitting across from the men’s bathroom blogging will seem like a vacation. Don’t get me wrong. I’m a huge fan of motherhood–if I weren’t I wouldn’t keep having all these kids. But let’s face it, the emotional and physical wallop it does will make your life B.K. (before kids) seem very nice.

I’m so glad you’ve read this far, because I have good news too. If you’re worried that this new baby will distract Chelsea from Roots and Rings, you’re fine. Chelsea is a dedicated blogger, and there’s something about seeing your beautiful baby do–well, anything–that makes you want to tell the world. Brace yourself for pictures and posts and stories of Baby Hurst. I can’t wait.

I could go on and on, but Chelsea told me that if this is too long, you wouldn’t read it. She even gently suggested that I could divide my entry into several smaller ones. I can imagine those now…”If Chelsea thought her house was messy before, just wait until it’s covered in bibs and bottles and really obnoxious rainforest-printed swings” and “Chelsea thought she was cheap until her baby would only eat organic pomegranate apple sauce.”

Oh, this baby will be so much fun!