Loser 9.10: No One Cupcaked Koli

First, a few items of Biggest Loser business:

• I have wondered for weeks why nobody brings Stephanie’s name up during elimination. It’s like she has some secret shield. Yesterday an article came out that she and Sam are dating and had their first kiss during week 3 on the ranch. So that would be her secret shield. I wonder if BL will keep trying to hide it from us or if they’ll start showing us little glimpses of their relationship! I just hope they aren’t gross like Rebecca and Daniel… she got kind of weird there at the end.
• I may or may not know someone that has gotten two interviews with the people at BL to be on season 10. That’s all I’m saying.

On to the show! Players are going home for a week. This is usually a semi-interesting and semi-boring week. Fun to see the people at home with their families, but boring because there isn’t a whole lot going on.

Was that a Tempurpedic commercial?? “You know what they don’t have at home? My Tempurpedic bed!” “Oh Sunshine!”

Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant and Stephen’s not watching with me, but I’m totally crying at these homecomings. The Tongans are a crying bunch. They look like fun! Daris looks fan-freakin-tastic!! My heart is just breaking for Mike.

(I’m eating a salad and a drop of vinaigrette just flew in my eye… not kidding. It burns.)

There are giant boxes for each contestant. Inside is a stationary bike and a million packing peanuts. They also have a box of cupcakes. (Just so you know, I still don’t like Melissa.) The players have to bike a marathon, the winner wins $10,000. For each cupcake they eat, they can add 5 minutes to someone’s time. Lance starts eating and eating. Andrea starts eating and eating. (Andrea is eating against her team… what’s up with that???) Mike eats a few too. And by a few, I mean 6.

The contestants work out. 24 Hour Fitness… and oh lookie there, they are open past 7:00.  (Seriously with the eye burning!) Wii Biggest Loser. Oh the plugs! “I’ve always been a firm believer of pushing my body to the edge.” Really O’Neal? Really?? I’m calling your bluff on that one. You’re a contestant on the Biggest Loser, something tells me this is the first time you’ve pushed your body in quite some time.

I feel a food commercial going on. Come on Sam, show me what you’ve got. Oh yes, Biggest Loser app on your phone! And I’M SORRY but NO you don’t have to eat organic eggs. Maybe the daily biscuits and gravy should go, but regular eggs are just fine. And now of course we are viewing the obligatory trips to their favorite restaurants.

Wait a second? How does Daris already have a lady friend?? He JUST got home. He sure didn’t waste any time. Now I’m not saying that he isn’t cute, but that chick didn’t have a choice in the matter. If a dude on television asks you on a date, you go. I hope she really likes him because I’ll go kick her butt if she hurts that sweet boy! (Boy? He’s probably my age…)

Now it’s time for the bike race. The families are all on cell phones so they can keep tabs of the other contestants. Not posting throughout this, it’s too back and forth. Sam won, Koli got 2nd, Lance got third. Alison announced that there were 32 cupcakes eaten. Koli won!!!! Whoo hoo. So very very very glad it wasn’t Lance.

Last chance workout. Oh the sweet sweat and yelling. I love it. Oh and vomit! There hasn’t been vomit in a long time. Stephen can’t stop talking about how much Koli looks like Sam now. You can definitely tell that they are related. Lance is mentally off right now. I’d argue that he’s a bit “off” all the time but I think Bob is referring to another type of “off.” Bob gave him a good chat and got him back in the Biggest Loser mood.

Weigh in. Not my favorite Alison dress, but still cute. Hmm.. I don’t know. Mixed feelings.

Blue Team
O’Neal (7) – Seriously?
Sunshine (8) – Atta girl!
Lance (8) – SERIOUSLY? Man!
Michael (8) – He’s lost 137 pounds so far! SHEESH.
Koli (10) -Fantastic
Daris (4) – Not so good, dude.
TOTAL: 2.58%

Black Team
Andrea (6) – Good number.
Stephanie (9) – AMAZING!!!! So so proud of her.
Ashley (10) – Holy moly, the black team is on fire!
Sam (14) – Wowza!
TOTAL: 3.86%

Glad to see the black team win this one. I don’t have a favorite team but I didn’t want to see it so tilted. Sunshine has immunity so between all the dudes. My vote is obviously for Lance because I’m not his biggest fan. Or O’Neal because he’s hurt.  

Koli voted for Lance
Mike voted for Lance
Lance voted for Mike
O’Neal voted for Lance
Daris voted for Lance

Lance is gone. I’m not sad. I don’t care for his attitude. But I am proud of him for how much he lost while on the ranch.

He’s gone from 365 to 265! He’s looking really great. I like him more than his wife.

Next week people come back. Ugh… Melissa. UGH.