Seven Quick Takes – Slow Days, Quick Weeks

I just don’t understand how this works. The days (specifically while at work) seem to be 65 hours long but then all I have to do is blink and it’s been a week. It’s not just me, right? This craziness happens to everyone, doesn’t it?

Well let’s get to it.

1.
I’m worthless on Thursday nights. Community, The Office, and 30 Rock have drawn me in and I can’t bring myself to ignore them. I don’t really mind though because it’s probably the most I laugh all week. And since laughing is good for the soul, I think our evening on the couch with dinner and NBC is an investment in my health. Don’t tell me otherwise.

2.
I’m currently sitting on my couch, typing on my laptop, wearing a pre-pregnancy exercise top with a built in bra. Why am I telling you this? Because my belly is hanging out LIKE WHOA and I look seriously white trash. And these are the kinds of things I share with you.

3.
We need to talk about this new KFC Double Down Chicken Sandwich. Is this for real??? Bacon and cheese between two fried chicken breasts? What is our world coming too? It’s almost as bad as Suri Cruise in stilettos or over the counter paternity tests.

4.
I went to the doctor yesterday for my monthly check up. I was excited for this appointment for two reasons. First, it’s always thrilling to hear that little heartbeat. Second, I was curious about how much weight I had gained. If you recall, 4 weeks ago was the last time I was weighed and I had gained a total of six pounds the beginning of this baby growing thing. I anticipated being at about 10 this time around…

(insert long dramatic pause)

Y’all. I. Gained. Nine. Pounds. In. Four. Weeks. Oh. My. Gosh. OHMYGOSH. My jaw dropped. The nurse looked at the scale, looked down to write it and saw my previous weight. She shot her head back up and said, “Wait. That much since last time?” I’m almost 20 weeks and I have gained 15 pounds. I seriously thought the doctor was going to give me a stern talking to. She didn’t seem shocked when she looked at my chart. So I asked. “Ummm, should I be concerned about my weight gain?” Her response sort of made me want to hug her and bring her home for dinner and run her a blissful bubble bath. “Oh no! It’s perfect. You hadn’t gained much last time we saw you so I expected this. You are right on track.”

And just for visual proof, here is a picture of me at 15 weeks and 19 weeks.

5.
Anyone have any really good recipes that involve strawberries? I anticipate coming home from strawberry picking with an abundance of berries. I don’t want any of this sterilize, boil, all-day-in-the-kitchen jam business. No thank you. I may try some freezer jam. Anything else?

6.
While I was in the waiting room yesterday at the doctor, there was a girl there with her mom. She looked to be about 15. She was skinny and her makeup was too dark for her face and she was wearing PJ pants. She kept talking to her mom in a really soft voice using words about five times faster than the average human. At one point I saw her mom look at the pregnant girl to the left of me and say, “Yeah but look what she has on her hand. See that? You need that first.” Then she turned to me, “Her too. Look at her hand.” I had no clue what they were saying but now that I was involved, I looked at them. Momma explains, “She said that y’all’s baby bumps are so cute that it makes her want one. I told her to look it your hand. She needs a ring before she has a bump.” It took ALL MY POWER to not stand up and pull that girl up by her messy bun and tell her to enjoy being a kid, close her legs, and FOR THE LOVE OF PETE do not get pregnant.

This girl was also in an argument with her mom over something that I’m sure was really important. She kept saying things like, “How could you take his side over mine? You’ve known me your whole life! You’ve known him two years.” “Three years. I’ve known him three years. We’ve been married two years. And I’m not taking sides.” “Yes you are. I’m your daughter. You’re supposed to be on my side!” Umm no, honey child. She is supposed to be on her husband’s side. And I’m pretty sure I’m on her husband’s side even though I don’t have any idea who her husband is.

What in the world am I going to do if this child is a girl? Can she live with one of y’all from age 13-18?

7.
This week was Shania Twain week on American Idol. Two things that are very wrong with this world. I’m certain I would have vomited if I had turned it on.

And that’s all I’ve got for you today! I hope everyone has fun weekends planned! I’m praying that it quits raining tomorrow so nothing messes with our berry plans!

Overdue 101 in 1001 Update

I haven’t updated this in MONTHS but I think there are several to update. If you want to see the complete list, there is a tab up there at the top called “101 in 1001.” Just click that. Let’s see where I stand now!

3. Watch 5 movies from this site (<- link). (1/5)

Many moons ago, Lauren and I got together to watch The Shop Around the Corner, which is number 94 on the list. For those of you who don’t know, this is the movie that You’ve Got Mail is based on. YGM is one of my all-time favorite movies and I was ashamed that I had never seen The Shop Around the Corner. So how does it measure up? We loved it. It was charming and sweet. And if you’ve memorized YGM like we have, you’ll noticed every little similarity. This is a movie I want to own.

39. Make a hard copy of my blog.

I realize this isn’t reasonable or even desired anymore. It’s just too long. As long as the internet is around, it’s accessible. So I need to replace this with something else. Ideas?

42. Organize the panty. (edited to add… this is supposed to say “PANTRY”… spellcheck didn’t show me my error since “panty” is a word)

I have done this. It’s been so long that it’s time to clean it again. We have weird pantries. They are narrow and deep. Who designs narrow and deep pantries??? Probably a man. One has shelves and doesn’t- it is this closet thing. They are dumb and I hate them. I got a white wire drawer set to go in the pantry without shelves and it’s done me well.

44. Find a place to pick berries.

Joy to the world!!!!! Stephen and I are doing this on Saturday. I have always wanted to pick berries and there is a place about 40 minutes away where I can do it! May 8 is the last strawberry picking day so I want to hurry up and get over there. I’m so excited! I plan to eat a lot of them, make some strawberry bread, and freeze a ton for smoothies and future usage. I hear this place also has other great produce so we’ll see what else we come up with! YAY!

46. Go to bed before 9:30 three times.

HA. Done. Pregnancy will do that to a girl!

73. Clean the carpet in the master bedroom.

Done. We had Stanley Steamer come out to clean our room and Rookie’s room. Rookie had a bout of explosive diarrhea while we were at work one day… I don’t want to talk about it. We had no choice but to steam the heck out of the floors. They looked great for about a week and then all the really old stains came right back up. So now my new goal is to get new carpet. I was hoping this would be a pre-baby goal but it’s looking like it won’t happen.

75. Eat at 10 new restaurants.

I’m not keeping track of this very well. I’m sure I’ve been to more. Most recently I went to Iron Works in Austin for some BBQ. It’s been around forever and I’ve seen it a million times. It was really good. Not as good as The Saltlick, but nothing really is. Oh and a few months ago I went to a Mexican restaurant called Loma Linda. DELICIOUS!

82. Take Rookie to the dog park.

We found a great dog park by our house. It is huge and has trees and a walking track. It’s great. We went pretty regularly for a couple weeks and then I almost died from an allergy attack so we decided to stay indoors for a while. We’ll go back once Houston decides not to be yellow anymore.

Not too bad. I still have a ways to go but I’ve made a pretty good dent in the list. Anyone else have a list that they are plowing though? Feel free to leave the link so we can all go visit.

Loser 9.15: Cue “Everything Is Bigger In Texas” Puns

The Loser contestants are going to Texas… home of 5 of the 10 fattest cities in America. Awesome. Alison is wearing another red jacket, which means I’ll get another 60 million hits this week from people googling the jacket to figure out where it’s from. I really think NBC needs to start giving me this info so people can get some answers when they come here!

A bunch of clips of the contestants doing radio segments. Not too interesting. Maybe because I don’t want them to keep talking about fat Texas. I love me some Texas and I want you all to know that there is a lot more to this state than fat people. Like… we have good food. Oh wait…

Walgreens commercial. REALLY???

Radio listeners get to win a chance to run with the contestants. I remember when this was going on. I texted my SIL to try to go win. She was busy that morning, sadly. I’m seeing that the majority of the people who have won tickets are not obese. They are all teamed up with a contestant and they are wearing their colors. Daris told his team that he’s going to finish the race and then come back and finish it with them. Mike is taking a different approach. He said she isn’t going to leave anyone behind, he’s spent his whole life being left behind. Normally I’d say that he was being lazy, but I think that’s old Mike, not new Mike. I think new Mike is all about inspiring people.

I’m loving that guy in the yellow shirt. He’s lost 65 pounds in 9 months on his own… all because Mike from last season inspired him. Love Mike!

O’Neal cried with a girl. No surprise. O’Neal does that a lot.

I’m kind of bored with this. Anyone else? Seriously. I have nothing to report except “mobs of people are either running or walking. Some have never run before. Some cry. Some hug. All are excited and have Texas on their shirt. The end.”

I did love seeing that last lady finish. I don’t care who you are, you’ve gotta be proud of finishing a 5K. ESPECIALLY if you haven’t even jogged in decades. “I can’t even walk through Walmart, I have to take a cart. And I just walked a 5K!” Hopefully this means there’s one less slow-moving cart in the aisles of Walmart.

Inspiring, yes. Blog worthy. not so much.

Bob shows up at 24 Hour Fitness to train random people. (Just a thought, if you want to make Texas lose weight, grab the people from McDonald’s, not the gym. Yes?) He also teaches a spin class and then hosts a Q&A where he tells people to get the Biggest Loser app on their Verizon phone.

Mike, Ashley, and Daris are tres amigos. They’re buds. They decide to do stairs together to get a workout in. They are staying at the W Hotel but don’t have a gym? Not likely.

Challenge time. Of course they are wearing cowboy hats because they are in Texas. We always wear cowboy hats here in Texas. I immediately received a text from my SIL that said, “Oh hell no!” I laughed. Alison talks about how tough Texans are (thank you) and how we having a saying that sometimes you have to just grab the bull by the horns (yes, we do have that saying). This challenge involves grabbing the bull by the horns. “Ohhh hell no,” says Mike. We agree Mike. Actually no bulls, just calves. The contestant with the most calves in their pin wins immunity this week. Awesome. I LOVE calf scrambles. They make people look so awkward!

Here we go. Oh lookie there, it’s not quite so easy. I forsee a lot of dirt in the teeth. Hey Mike, calves aren’t puppies…  you can’t lure them with high voices. O’Neal is seriously taking nose dives into the ground. Not so smart, my friend. Sam is putting calves into Koli’s pin since Koli helped Sam last week. That’s nice. Mike decides to help Daris since they are BFF and he’s hoping it’ll keep him safe. I am totally pulling for Daris!

Comes down to the last few seconds, Koli won.

YAY ABBY! Jillian went to some high school to chat with some kids and visit Abby. Abby is wearing a super cute necklace. And there is some major feedback on Jillian’s mic. My heart is breaking for this overweight girl. I want to hug her and tell her that teenagers are jerks. I hope she changes her life. Life is too short to be unhappy.

The yellow team left for O’Neal’s brother’s funeral so they weren’t around for the last chance workout. Doing sprints on a treadmill makes me nervous. Not that I’ve actually ever done it or anything…. I just mean that watching them do it makes me nervous. The workout was otherwise uneventful. Mike has a minor freakout in which he told Bob to leave him alone. Bob cussed at him and said he’ll never leave him alone and to never say that to him again. Never really seen Bob get mad before.

Weigh In. OUTSIDE in downtown Dallas. Keep in mind that this was filmed months ago so it was 34 degrees. Really Loser? Is it necessary to make these people stand outside just so you can have a nice camera shot? Cruel. They are hardly wearing any clothes!

Koli: 1
Sam: 6 – 2.44%
Sunshine: 4 – 2.09%
O’Neal: 5 – 1.85%
Mike: 15 – 4.19% WHOOO HOOO! Amazing! (Really hoping next week is makeover week, his hair needs some help!)
Daris: 5 – 2.28% Have I mentioned how much I love him?
Ashley: 6 – 2.36%

Oh no… the end of the world is upon us. Sunshine and O’Neal are both below the yellow line. Sunshine is crying like someone has told her that one of them has to die. SETTLE DOWN LADY. And now Alison is going to leave them here in the cold to chat about it for an hour. Does nobody give these people Kleenex? They are cold and crying. SNOT CITY.

Stephen and I are discussing how cohesive this group is. There’s no petty game play. These people care about each other and care about their well-being. We like that.

So now O’Neal is gone. I like him but I’m not torn up about it. I’m hoping this means we’ll have less sappy father/daughter tears. He went from 389 to 250. He’s continued to lose weight at home and can put on his own shoes. All of these before/after comparisons are amazing. He’s lost a ton of weight!!

Next week: MAKEOVER WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!! Tha best week EVER. I can’t wait!

Ten on Tuesday (28)

This batch of questions come from Kara at Chatter (<- link). Go check her out and thank her for her questions!

1.  Think back a decade, do you remember what your first cellphone was? Was it as cool as Zack Morris’s phone?
My first cell phone wasn’t very cool – even back then. The worst part about it was that there was no “lock” feature. So every now and then I’d look at my phone and see that it’s been on a phone call for 72 minutes to the last person I called. When I knew I’d be getting a new phone, the ONLY requirement was that the phone would have a keypad lock!

2. What is the first children’s book you remember being read to you? 
Remember? I have no idea. I can’t remember if these books were read to me or to my sister. One of my faves was the Chicka Chicka Boom Boom book. (Will there be enough room? A tells B and B tells C, I’ll race you to the top of the coconut tree!) I’m pretty sure we read that a lot in first grade.

3. What was your first car? Did you love it or hate it? 
My first car was a blue Mustang with a sunroof. I was 16, of course I loved it! One I was in college I realized that I was 6 feet tall and Mustangs aren’t made for people my size! I then got my dad’s hand-me-down Chrystler Concorde. Then it died (<- link). I got over my depression and we bought our Murano.

4. Who was your hero growing up?
“Growing up” implies childhood… so that’s how I’ll answer this. Very often, my hero at any given time was my teacher. I loved school and I loved to learn. I can remember adoring my teachers from 1st-4th grade. For the longest time I thought I was going to be a teacher, probably because I loved them all so much.

5. Think back to your first kiss. Was it everything you dreamed of?
I was scared to death to have my first kiss. TO DEATH. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen but I must’ve thought that I was going to die. So I imagine that it was better than I dreamed since I definitely wasn’t thinking it would be anything better than pure torture.

6.  What was your first BAD hairstyle choice? (Extra points for embarrassing photos) 
I had a nasty cut when I was little but that wasn’t my choice and I’d rather just ignore it. I chose to get a perm… That was… special. Then one year in college I went for a trim and the lady cut some serious SERIOUS short bangs. It was terrible and I cried. Once again, this was not my choice. But it was still so awful and sometimes I still have nightmares.

7. What was your first realistic dream? (One where you had to think “Oh dang, was that a dream?”)
A long time ago I had a dream that my mom and little sister fell down this really steep canyon. It was only a split second of a dream but it was so vivid that anything remotely resembling a canyon give me shivers down my spine.

8. What was the first phobia you remember developing?
Knives. One time when I was little I took my mom’s small pocket knife and tried to cut open an acorn… while it was in my hand. Brilliant. I’ve been scared of knives ever since. Although I’m not scared to use them, I’m scared for other people to use them. Mostly because the majority of people don’t know how to use a knife properly and it just makes me sick to watch them try.

9. Which character on Sesame Street do you most identify with?
It’s been a long while since I’ve seen Sesame Street so I’m not sure about their personalities. Here are two of my guesses: Big Bird because he’s really tall. Cookie Monster because he love to eat. (Although I did recently see that Cookie Monster refers to cookie’s as a “sometimes snack.” Whatever. The Cookie Monster I knew had no limits. He ate so many cookies that they came crumbling out the sides of his mouth. Now that’s a monster I can get on board with.

10. What was the hardest goal you ever accomplished? 
Questions about goals make me feel like a loser. I don’t have many goals. I just sort of live my life. Passing awful classes like finance, statistics, and calculus was a pretty good accomplishment. Graduating for UT is up there. Becoming a homeowner is something I’m proud of. But I’m not sure that any of these are what you’re looking for…

I feel like my answers aren’t that great. Maybe yours are better. Add your link to Mr Linky and be sure to click around to visit other ToTers!

Pregnant Pause – Week 19

I am almost to the halfway mark of this pregnancy and that pretty much scares the crap out of me. After a long discussion in the car yesterday, Stephen and I decided I’ll be much less stressed once we find out the sex of the baby and can make a detailed to-do list. Right now we are just waiting. We can’t register until we know the sex, we can’t think about the nursery until we know the sex, etc. Two weeks from today, we’ll know the sex.

Since we are only 14 days away from telling you the name and sex of our baby, today would be a good time for your guesses. Here are your clues:

Both: We do not like names that are on the top #10 names list! We want our child to have a name that nobody else in their class has.
Boy: Very unique, not in baby name books (that we’ve seen, at least)
Girl: Classic. Cute but elegant.

So place your bets. What sex will it be? What will be name little wee little Hurstling?

Unfortunately I don’t have a belly shot for you today. Just imagine me with a giant protective layer over something the size of a mango. Got it? This baby is getting pretty big! Which is why I can feel it bumping around in there constantly. I’m convinced that all these little movements are not gas. I just don’t think I have that much gas, and I don’t think it’s all centralized.

I do, however, have a picture of my pregnancy pillow. Several of you have wanted to know exactly HOW big it is. Excuse my wrinkly sheets. We have a king sized bed, the pillow on the left is a king sized pillow. Use that as a reference for how freaking huge this pillow is.

LARGE. But I love it and I highly recommend it!

So that’s about all I have for you today. I was in Austin over the weekend (a story for another post) and my allergies flared up again. I slept terribly and I have blown my nose so many times that my nose may actually fall off the next time. But shockingly, I’m in a pretty good mood this Monday morning.

Let me hear your name/sex guesses! If anyone actually guesses correctly (I won’t hold my breath) I’m sure Stephen and I can arrange some sort of prize.

(ToT questions are posted!)

Seven Quick Takes

I wonder if I have 7 things to tell you today. Let’s see!

1.
There are two girls I talk about the most: Lyndsey and Lauren. The stars have aligned and the world is good… I get to see BOTH of them this weekend!!

2.
Anytime Lyndsey knows that she’s going to see me, she gets a pedicure. I have this thing about women with unpainted toenails. I think it’s nasty. I don’t require that you get a pedicure. I don’t even require that you paint your toenails. But just know that if they aren’t painted, I will think your toes are gross. (Why doesn’t spell check recognize “pedicure” as a word???)

3.
For those of you who are new or ignored me the first time around, I’d like to give out a little bit more love for Swagbucks. It’s a search website where you win points that can then be used to buy things. I’ve been on it about 2 months or so and I’ve already earned the equivalent of over $25 in Amazon gift cards… for searching! I just go to their site and search “facebook” to get me to that site instead of typing in the URL. If you want more info, let me know! Click here to sign up. Friday is a good day to start because it’s “Mega Swagbucks Day” and you earn even more. Y’all, I’m a super fan! Free money is the way to my heart.

4.
I’ve heard several reports (from you and Twitter) about the latest interview about Jillian Michaels. She stated that she is going to adopt because she “can’t handle doing that to my body.” I’m sorry, whaaaaa?? Doing WHAT to your body, exactly? There is nothing wrong with pregnancy. God is good. Pregnancy was God’s idea. He wouldn’t require something out of us that wouldn’t be good for us. And, I’m sorry, pregnant women are cute! Nobody looks at them and thinks they are fat! “Also, when you rescue something, it’s like rescuing yourself.” Having a baby IS NOT about you. If you make it about you, you will be seriously, seriously disappointed. Issues Jillian? Stop being a shrink to everyone else and work on that.

5.
I have two greatest pregnancy fears. The first is that my water will break at work or another highly public place. AWKWARD. “Excuse me, I need to skidaddle over to the hospital. Would you be a peach and clean up my uterus juices?” Gross. The second fear is not something to mentioned aloud. But let’s just say it has nothing to do with pain. I’m not saying I’m a superhero or anything, but I know I can get through the pain. My mom had three babies without drugs and I’ve seen how much she winces when our Lucy works out her knots. If she can give birth without dying, I can too.

6.
I once read an article about how to save money in really random ways. One of the things they discussed was calling your cable company and telling them you’d like to cancel because they’ll give you a great deal. I was too nervous to do this because 1) I never had any intention of quitting cable and I’m an awful liar and 2) What if they didn’t offer anything and they just cancelled it? Well I told you that we actually did decide to cancel cable. Long story short, they never just cancel your cable. They offer you fantastic things. So not only did we NOT cancel cable, but we have more channels (including movie channels… what?!) with a guide and we’re paying only $15 more than we would be if we only had internet. So BUCK UP y’all. Call your cable company and tell them you want to cancel because you need to save money. You will not regret it.

7.
I have slept wonderfully this week! WONDERFULLY! I’ve gotten the hang of my pillow and I’m sleeping almost better than I did before I was pregnant! Praise the LAWD! Although for some reason I still never feel rested. I guess we can’t have everything.

Have a great weekend, y’all!!

Disco Baby!

I don’t think there is anyone more excited about the Hurstling than my mother-in-law. I’m pretty certain that she’s even more excited than we are. (Although I have this theory that pregnancy becomes a VERY TRUE fact immediately to everyone that is not the mother or father of said baby. So really we are at a disadvantage because we are still transitioning into the “Is this real life?” stage.) When we announced our pregnancy, I thought the walls of their house were going to come tumbling down. She screamed, she cried, she jumped, she danced. It was serious excitement.

I’m not saying that my parents and siblings and siblings-in-law and all the other important people in my life aren’t excited. They are. It’s just a different sort of excitement. Maureen (MIL) tells strangers that she’s going to be a grandma. She screams into my belly “THIS IS EMMIE! HI BABY!!” every time she sees me. She told us that we never have to get her a present EVER again… that this is the greatest gift in the world and we could never top it.

Sounds pretty good, huh?

Well Maureen turned 50 last week. (Thanks for all the birthday wishes for her, by the way!) And 50 is a big deal. We did get her a darling hand stamped necklace that says “EMMIE” on it but that wasn’t enough. We had to go big. Go bold. Go disco.

My sister-in-law, Heather, was the mastermind of it all. Months ago she started the plans. We were going to fulfill Maureen’s one wish in life (besides the grandbaby thing… that was already in the works), we were going to throw her a disco party for her 50th birthday. To make it even more exciting, it was going to be a surprise party.

I have an aversion to surprise parties. I’m not a fan. I don’t want you to throw one for me, ever. I don’t like that sort of thing. A few years ago I threw a surprise party for my parents’ 25th wedding anniversary. It was TORTURE. I mean, it was great. They loved it. They were shocked. The bagillions of guests had a great time. But it was hard hard work. Lying, hacking into my mom’s email account (which wasn’t very hard because she still used the same password I had given her when I set up the account 10 years prior), organizing, coming up with a plan. It was a lot. For someone who gets migraines under stress, it was torture. It went off well and I swore to my parents that this would be the one and only surprise party I ever threw. And I mean it.

So for the disco party I was in charge of finding a bartender and a DJ. The bartender thing was easy since I have a cousin in college who would love to make a few bucks by pulling the lever on a margarita machine or pumping a keg. And the DJ was easy because I happened to get married 3 years ago and had a great one in mind. So my job was done. I sat back, played stupid, and let my SIL’s stress over the details.

The night came and guest piled in. Some seemed to ignore the theme but others went all out.

I won’t actually tell you who these people are because, well, I won’t. And I’m sorry this isn’t the best picture but you NEED to see this outfit.

I never figured out if this is a new outfit or if she happened to have this laying around from her crazier days. Either way, it was awesome. And just so you know, there was better mood lighting, it just looks like all the lights are on because of the flash. So anyways, people came and the place was decorated. The mood was set. In she walked.

“OH MY GOD.”

“OH MY GOD.”

She screamed with each new face she saw. Friends from home, friends from California, New York, work, her neighborhood. We were missing a few people for various reasons, but her life was pretty well represented.

I decided I needed to do my part. As the mother of her grandchild, I needed to be sure that her grandbaby was at her party. Her grandbaby need to play a role in this party. How exactly do you do that when that grandbaby isn’t actually born yet??

You give the baby the role of The Disco Ball!

Yes I did.

I bought a $14 top from Walmart (remember the Walmart fitting room incident?) and some fabric from Hobby Lobby. Stephen and I cut and argued and glued until we had that thing looking right. I was worried it wouldn’t be obvious… that people would just say, “Hmm, she has a giant silver polka dot on her belly.” But it was obvious. I’ve never had more people touch my belly than I did that night! (For the record, I don’t mind belly touching… even from strangers. Which is weird because I normally have strong do-not-touch-me German blood.)

All in all, the party was a success. She loved it. The guests loved it. The baby, I’m sure, loved it. And I can probably bet you $20 that his sisters will say that they will never do a surprise party ever again.

Loser 9.14: Smells Like Fat

I’m watching in real time tonight which is something I haven’t done in about 11 years. And I just polished off a plate of homemade beef fajita nachos. I made sure to finish before the show started. For two reasons really: 1) I don’t want to get sour cream on my keyboard and 2) I think Jillian can see me through the television.

Let’s get started!

Beautiful Alison Sweeney shows up to announce the temptation. “Ohhhh no.” The kitchen is closed and all meals (only during that day, dumb) will be eaten in this room upstairs. There’s healthy food and not-so-healthy food (aka: Food Chelsea Eats). Whoever eats the most calories at the end of the day gets the only vote. Sam and Koli decide that Koli is going to go for it. Sam thinks he’ll fall below the yellow line and he wants Koli to save him. Selfish much? “Real bacon. None of that turkey bacon.” Think they lost their Jennie-O sponsorship?

So far the only one eating a lot is Koli. Mike seems to be trying to trick Victoria into thinking he ate a lot.

Koli is eating A LOT. He had over 2000 for lunch alone. He’s not going to be happy when two nice people go below the yellow line and he has to be the bad guy. Haven’t you ever watched The Biggest Loser, Koli??? Bob and Jillian are going to be so mad at you and then the rest of the house is going to be mad at you. You could have at least avoided the chili dogs. Gross.

 Koli had 4164 calories. Ummm ewww. Did you see how he measured his ketchup in a measuring spoon?

Okay y’all, Mike is like a completely different guy. He’s like a grown up. He’s mature and funny. I really like him now. I’m really proud of him.

Okay so I’m not so mad at Koli right now. I love that he and Sam are working out in the middle of the night. He’s not about evil game play, he’s just about staying in the game. And that’s okay. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t thrive on power. He’s just a good guy. (I think.) I just hope that Sam doesn’t throw the weigh-in. THAT is malicious.

Here come Bob and Jillian. $20 say that they aren’t going to be on board with this. Oh yes, I’m right. Jillian is disgusted. Disgusted. Disgusted. But that’s okay because it’s time to work out. HOLT COW! Bob is punching Daris in the stomach while he’s holding weights above his head. He’s a beast.

Ashley is having a breakdown because she’s all alone now that Andrea is gone. It’s not easy for girls to be alone. It makes us sad.

Dr. H is back. Time to revisit the Know Your Number age thingy. This is always really boring for me. It’s cool because it’s showing that their bodies are truly changing for the better… that the work actually pays off. Strider bike thingy.

Challenge time! I love challenges! Especially when they involve bizarre cranes and cables. They have building blocks that they have to stack in order to get high enough to reach . The winner gets a one pond advantage. The last one gets a 1 pound disadvantage. Mike decides to give Ashley some pointers… turns out, his pointers aren’t great. It was a nice thought though. Mike is being an engineer and making a permanent structure! It’s neck and neck between Daris and Sam. GO DARIS! I’d like Daris to get more screen time. This season is all about gray and yellow. And he made it! Whoo hoo! So Daris gets a one pound advantage.

Victoria knocked half of her structure over and thought she was going to die. Yeah, no. You have ropes attached to you and 16 millions crew members standing around. YOU’RE FINE. O’Neal fell as he was trying to get down his structure. Everyone freaked out like he was paralyzed. Sheesh people, settle down.

Ashley looks like she is about to have a commercial. Something NEW in the house! How convenient. Yoplait Greek Yogurt. 14 grams of protein!!

O’Neal is back, nothing is broken. But something about bones and calcium and nerve pain. And luckily he has a Walgreens ice pack for his knee.

To the beach!! Gabriel Reece is there to work out with them and to advertise Starter. UGH! ENOUGH WITH THE ADS! So they run a bit and then play in the water. Booooring.

Back from commercial break and we learn that this one of the worst week’s of O’Neal’s life. His brother died. We knew this was coming so I’m not shocked. Very very sad still. He’s crushed, which is totally understandable. Jillian is making his box. They always do that to the most emotional person. He had a bit of a meltdown and started punching a machine. Then he went for a walk and cried some more. It’s not an easy thing to watch, but it’s life.

Weigh in time. Oh Ali, you’re cute.

Koli- 10 – 3.7% WOWZA! Not bad!!
Daris- 7 – 3.54% My fave.
Mike – 5 – 1.38% Not so bueno.
Ashley – 4 – 1.55% Ouchie! I hope it’s not Mike and Ashley…
Sam – 6 – 2.38% Well done.
Victoria – 1 – .37% And you’re going home.
O’Neal – 8 – 2.52% How in the WORLD??
Sunshine – 1 – .52% Well that’s not fun.

So it’s between Sunshine and Victoria, and it’s all up to Koli. Well OF COURSE it’s going to be Victoria going home. Koli is in love with O’Neal, he’d never do that to him. Plus, he just talked about how Victoria needs to step it up and work out like she really wants to be here. I only wonder what he’s going to say in his schpeal. Didn’t look like the girls said anything to Koli to fight for their spots. I wonder if they did but didn’t show it.

He voted Victoria off. He didn’t preface it with much of anything but he said that she needs to push. She needs to step it up. I agree, she does not.

Victoria is back in H-Town. (That means Houston.) Her momma is looking good! She went from 358 to 240, she looks great. Last week they didn’t show Andrea’s current weight… I wonder why. Ugh, really? A 24 Hour Fitness commercial! This Where She Is Now segment seems to be all about her mom. Weird. But I’m proud of her mom.

Next Week: The contestants are going to TEXAS. Yee Haw.

Otherwise, the last chance workout is uneventful.

Ten on Tuesday (27)

This week’s questions were provided by Courtney at Practicing Patience. Go visit her and thank her for her questions.

1.  What two cities should be moved closer together?
Houston and Orlando – I’d like to be able to go to Disney World whenever I want! The cost of tickets is so high that when you add a plane ticket and hotel, it’s just not possible. Or maybe Houston and New York. I’d love to be able to spend a weekend in New York to see a show or go to a fancy restaurant.

2. What was the first plane ride you took? 
I honestly have no idea. I imagine it was to Colorado at some point in my childhood. We go there every few years. Nine times out of ten, we drive… but I’m sure there were times that we flew. I have no idea. How sad is that?! I’m not the type of person that is scared of flying so it didn’t make an impact on me.

3. What continent would you most like to visit? 
Europe. There are so many places I’d like to go. If only I had a bottomless bank account and oodles of vacation time!

4. What’s your favorite place to window-shop?
I love just being at The Container Store. It makes me happy. I also love Williams Sonoma, Target, Hobby Lobby… and I’m sure I could think of a million other places after I read y’all’s answers.

5. What’s the least fun you’ve ever had at a place specifically tailored for fun?
The first thing that comes to mind is one of the worst nights of my life. I went to the movies to see The Dark Knight and got the worst migraine of my life. I was in the middle of the row and we were there with several other people. I didn’t feel like I could just get up and walk out. Plus I was nervous that if I started walking, I’d vomit everywhere. So I sat through a loud, flashy movie and thought, “Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up. Don’t throw up.” FOR THE ENTIRE 17 HOURS OF THE MOVIE!

6.  You’re stuck on an island with plenty of food, a companion, and a relatively stress-free lifestyle. What do you say when the rescue ship comes? 
I say, “Come here companion. Let’s board this ship and go back to civilization and the internet.”

7. Which day of the week do you look forward to most? 
Saturdays. I love Saturdays. I (usually) don’t have to set my alarm, I can be productive, I don’t have to go to work, I don’t have a bedtime. Do I need to go on?

8. What’s your favorite place to enjoy the great outdoors? 
The beach. The beach. The beach. I LOVE the beach. I love the sand and the sun and the sound of the waves. I love a cold beverage and a good book. I love it all!

9. What’s on your “to do” list this summer? 
Summer doesn’t have the same meaning as it did in school. Now it’s just the same as the rest of the year, only hotter. Much hotter. But during this hot season that is just like any other season, I will be getting my life ready for this baby. We’ll be nesting. We’ll decorate the nursery, have showers, read some What The Heck To Do With A Baby books, and try not to freak out. Don’t worry, you’ll be there for the whole thing.

10. Which natural disaster freaks you out the most?
The only natural disaster the directly affects me is hurricanes. (I seriously stared at that sentence for like 5 minutes. “is hurricanes” or “are hurricanes”?? Don’t worry, I will not home school my kids.) I’m sure I’d be scared of tornadoes if they came in my area, or blizzards if it actually got cold here, or whatever else. But for me… just hurricanes.

Your turn. Hopefully I’ll be able to visit this week.

Pregnant Pause – Week 18

Hello week 18, I hope you are kinder to my back than week 17 was. I’m not holding my breath. I hear you guys get more vicious as the time goes. So I will just continue to see my Lucy and supplement with tennis ball rolls on the back. (It helps, for real.)

My baby is a sweet potato this week. (What To Expect says a mango… but I don’t think it’s a mango yet so I’m sticking with The Bump. Mostly because if the baby were a mango this week, it would be a cantaloupe next week and I don’t think that’s true. So sweet potato it is!)

I’m having some serious indigestion. Currently, not just in general. I’m considering finding a straw and jamming it into my ribs to let some of that gas out. I’m also quite gaggy (not a word, I know) this morning. I haven’t had a high gag reflex in quite some time.

I know some of you requested that I post a picture of me in normal clothes, not my purple and black weekly shots. So I will comply. Here is a picture from last weekend’s trip to south Texas for Sophie’s first birthday party. I’m the one all the way on the right. The girl next to me is 23 weeks pregnant with twins. I know she doesn’t look bigger than me in the picture but she got the good angle.

You can see that we were drinking water while all the short hot girls are drinking champagne.

(By the way, those short hot girls are family. They married in… that’s why they aren’t amazon women like me. They have things in their closet that say “0” or “short” on the label. That’s foreign to me. The one all the way to the left is my sister-in-law, Laura. She had Avery in December and look how good she looks already. Don’t hold your breath, friends. I don’t anticipate it being that easy!)

And because I cannot break tradition, here is my weekly shot.

That’s all folks! Just 3 short weeks until we find out the sex of the little Hurstling. Sometime before then we are going to have a Guess the Name and Sex game. I’d love to hear your name ideas. So start brainstorming!

Happy Monday, I hope your weekend was fun and productive!

(ToT questions are posted. If they aren’t posted on Monday mornings, feel free to remind me. Apparently pregnancy screws with your brain!)