Loser 9.14: Smells Like Fat

I’m watching in real time tonight which is something I haven’t done in about 11 years. And I just polished off a plate of homemade beef fajita nachos. I made sure to finish before the show started. For two reasons really: 1) I don’t want to get sour cream on my keyboard and 2) I think Jillian can see me through the television.

Let’s get started!

Beautiful Alison Sweeney shows up to announce the temptation. “Ohhhh no.” The kitchen is closed and all meals (only during that day, dumb) will be eaten in this room upstairs. There’s healthy food and not-so-healthy food (aka: Food Chelsea Eats). Whoever eats the most calories at the end of the day gets the only vote. Sam and Koli decide that Koli is going to go for it. Sam thinks he’ll fall below the yellow line and he wants Koli to save him. Selfish much? “Real bacon. None of that turkey bacon.” Think they lost their Jennie-O sponsorship?

So far the only one eating a lot is Koli. Mike seems to be trying to trick Victoria into thinking he ate a lot.

Koli is eating A LOT. He had over 2000 for lunch alone. He’s not going to be happy when two nice people go below the yellow line and he has to be the bad guy. Haven’t you ever watched The Biggest Loser, Koli??? Bob and Jillian are going to be so mad at you and then the rest of the house is going to be mad at you. You could have at least avoided the chili dogs. Gross.

 Koli had 4164 calories. Ummm ewww. Did you see how he measured his ketchup in a measuring spoon?

Okay y’all, Mike is like a completely different guy. He’s like a grown up. He’s mature and funny. I really like him now. I’m really proud of him.

Okay so I’m not so mad at Koli right now. I love that he and Sam are working out in the middle of the night. He’s not about evil game play, he’s just about staying in the game. And that’s okay. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t thrive on power. He’s just a good guy. (I think.) I just hope that Sam doesn’t throw the weigh-in. THAT is malicious.

Here come Bob and Jillian. $20 say that they aren’t going to be on board with this. Oh yes, I’m right. Jillian is disgusted. Disgusted. Disgusted. But that’s okay because it’s time to work out. HOLT COW! Bob is punching Daris in the stomach while he’s holding weights above his head. He’s a beast.

Ashley is having a breakdown because she’s all alone now that Andrea is gone. It’s not easy for girls to be alone. It makes us sad.

Dr. H is back. Time to revisit the Know Your Number age thingy. This is always really boring for me. It’s cool because it’s showing that their bodies are truly changing for the better… that the work actually pays off. Strider bike thingy.

Challenge time! I love challenges! Especially when they involve bizarre cranes and cables. They have building blocks that they have to stack in order to get high enough to reach . The winner gets a one pond advantage. The last one gets a 1 pound disadvantage. Mike decides to give Ashley some pointers… turns out, his pointers aren’t great. It was a nice thought though. Mike is being an engineer and making a permanent structure! It’s neck and neck between Daris and Sam. GO DARIS! I’d like Daris to get more screen time. This season is all about gray and yellow. And he made it! Whoo hoo! So Daris gets a one pound advantage.

Victoria knocked half of her structure over and thought she was going to die. Yeah, no. You have ropes attached to you and 16 millions crew members standing around. YOU’RE FINE. O’Neal fell as he was trying to get down his structure. Everyone freaked out like he was paralyzed. Sheesh people, settle down.

Ashley looks like she is about to have a commercial. Something NEW in the house! How convenient. Yoplait Greek Yogurt. 14 grams of protein!!

O’Neal is back, nothing is broken. But something about bones and calcium and nerve pain. And luckily he has a Walgreens ice pack for his knee.

To the beach!! Gabriel Reece is there to work out with them and to advertise Starter. UGH! ENOUGH WITH THE ADS! So they run a bit and then play in the water. Booooring.

Back from commercial break and we learn that this one of the worst week’s of O’Neal’s life. His brother died. We knew this was coming so I’m not shocked. Very very sad still. He’s crushed, which is totally understandable. Jillian is making his box. They always do that to the most emotional person. He had a bit of a meltdown and started punching a machine. Then he went for a walk and cried some more. It’s not an easy thing to watch, but it’s life.

Weigh in time. Oh Ali, you’re cute.

Koli- 10 – 3.7% WOWZA! Not bad!!
Daris- 7 – 3.54% My fave.
Mike – 5 – 1.38% Not so bueno.
Ashley – 4 – 1.55% Ouchie! I hope it’s not Mike and Ashley…
Sam – 6 – 2.38% Well done.
Victoria – 1 – .37% And you’re going home.
O’Neal – 8 – 2.52% How in the WORLD??
Sunshine – 1 – .52% Well that’s not fun.

So it’s between Sunshine and Victoria, and it’s all up to Koli. Well OF COURSE it’s going to be Victoria going home. Koli is in love with O’Neal, he’d never do that to him. Plus, he just talked about how Victoria needs to step it up and work out like she really wants to be here. I only wonder what he’s going to say in his schpeal. Didn’t look like the girls said anything to Koli to fight for their spots. I wonder if they did but didn’t show it.

He voted Victoria off. He didn’t preface it with much of anything but he said that she needs to push. She needs to step it up. I agree, she does not.

Victoria is back in H-Town. (That means Houston.) Her momma is looking good! She went from 358 to 240, she looks great. Last week they didn’t show Andrea’s current weight… I wonder why. Ugh, really? A 24 Hour Fitness commercial! This Where She Is Now segment seems to be all about her mom. Weird. But I’m proud of her mom.

Next Week: The contestants are going to TEXAS. Yee Haw.

Otherwise, the last chance workout is uneventful.