Why I Am Not A Decorator

I was so excited to find out the sex of the Hurstling for many reasons. One obvious reason was that I was anxious to get started on the nursery. I wanted to pick furniture and bedding and paint. I wanted to answer all of your questions about what colors we’ve chosen. So after The Big Appointment, I hit the internet. I have this problem… I don’t like themes. I don’t like the overly matchy matchy junk that is out there. I don’t want 72 elephants surrounding my son. I don’t want him to wake up in the middle night and think he’s on Noah’s ark with lions to his left and lizards to his right. I don’t want random words like “TOUCHDOWN” and “GO TEAM” screaming at him on his bumper pads. That’s just not me. Unfortunately I seem to be the only person in the world with this opinion so it has been impossible to pick something.

I found a bedding set I liked but it’s only available online. It takes 4-6 weeks to ship– which is ridiculous, in my opinion. But I just don’t LOVE it. I want to love it.

On Saturday Stephen and I met up with his parents to test out some gliders. I had found a chair at Babies R Us that I was pretty pleased with but I needed to put my tooshie in a few more to be sure. There was a glider at a boutique by their house that they say “feels like you’re sitting on a cloud.” We went to test it out. Yes, it did in fact feel like you were sitting on a cloud. It also cost about the same amount as it would cost to have a private jet fly you up to actual clouds each time you need to rock your baby. And while his parents were offering to pay for it, I just couldn’t handle it.

But as I was testing out another chair in that store I looked to my left and an angel of the Lord was hovering over the most amazing bedding set I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I loved the colors. I loved the non-themeyness (sound it out, it’s a new word) of it. It was perfect. PERFECT. I walked over to it and kept repeating, “I really like this. Like… I really like this.” I pet it and cuddled the pillow. I asked where they store the bedding so we can see how much it costs. My MIL looked around right there and saw the tag hanging down. Ladies and gents, I almost died. The set included a pillow, a dust ruffle, a sheet, and bumper pads and cost $919. Nine hundred nineteen dollars and zero cents. I thought I was going to cry.

Defeated, we walked out of the store.

On Sunday Stephen and I had several errands to run. Remember about 10 months ago when I told you that my mom bought us a dining room table and we just needed to find chairs? Well we finally went looking for chairs. On our third store we decided that we no longer wanted new chairs, we wanted to get a completely new dining room table set. The cost was comparable, even favorable, if we took that route. We found a beautiful set at RoomsToGo. (Have y’all been there? Great prices. Seriously nice employees that don’t hover! I highly recommend the place.) As we were looking around, Stephen’s eye was caught on something and I saw a nice plush recliner calling my name. I thought I’d take a seat for a second to rest my pregnant feet. I had no idea that I was about to sit in the most comfortable chair in the world. The second I sat down, I moaned. Audibly. It embraced me and told me it loved me and that I was beautiful. I told it that it was my long lost love. Stephen stared at me. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, I reclined. OHHHH LAWDY HAVE MERCY! 

It was fantastic. It was perfect. It was soft and cozy and unlike any other chair I had ever touched in my life. Stephen tested it out and agreed. The Best Chair Ever. We knew we had to have it. I considered hiding it under my dress and walking out the front door. Surely nobody would question a pregnant woman. But that seemed like too much work… and I’m really not into the whole crime thing. The only other option was to buy it. But you see, we just bought a dining room set and we have a baby on the way. A $500 recliner is not in our budget at the moment. Stephen tried to convince me that we should get it for the nursery instead of a glider. I couldn’t get on board. It just didn’t seem to fit in a nursery and plus we would want this chair in the living room where we spend most of our time.

But because we know our priorities and are ignoring the looming problem of no bedding for our son, we have devised a plan to get this chair. We have some money left over from our dining room chair budget and we’re hoping to sell the dining room table we already have. If all goes well, that’ll be enough for the dream recliner. We are giddy when we think about it! Last night we even rearranged our living room to make room for our new friend. Our new friend that we have yet to purchase.

But incase you are the type to not ignore my son’s sleeping and visual stimulation needs, maybe you can help this momma out. I don’t understand why I cannot pick out a freaking bedding set for my child. Why is this so hard? If only they were all out on display and I could lay in them and give Jansen his perfect cloud atmosphere of his own. He could sleep in his super cute bedroom while Stephen and I argue over who’s turn it is in the recliner.

Thoughts? Feelings? Advice? The one that I fell in love with had a brown giraffe print crib sheet and the bumper was striped – burnt orange, dark green, brown, and even had a turquoise stripe in there. Maybe another color or two. It was simple and gorgeous. And it seriously makes me livid that someone would charge $919 for it. I could use some help. I fear that if I cannot find a set that I love, I’ll just buy Jansen a recliner of his own and make him sleep on that. Not that he’d complain or anything. CPS might have a problem with it though.