Archive for June 10, 2010

False Advertising

Today we are talking about Jansen’s nursery. If you don’t care about nursery decor, here’s your warning to push that little “x” in the top right corner of your screen.

I already told you what bedding we picked out. It’s this bed skirt (<- link) with a throw pillow to match. (We didn’t order bumpers because they were too expensive and we’ve been hearing mixed reviews about having bumpers. I don’t really want to get into that right now.) Based on that decision we decided to go with turquoise, bright/lime green, and orange.

Remember that commercial that Lowe’s put out not too long ago that talked about color matching paint? All these people were bringing random items into the store to have them match the color and then this one guy brought in some huge purple stuffed animal and said he needed THAT color for his daughter’s room. Are you with me? Well Monday night, I was the dad. My crib skirt swatch was the big purple stuffed animal.

I walked into Lowe’s thinking that it would be quick and easy. I just needed two small samples, one of orange and one of green. There was an unhappy looking man behind the paint desk when I approached. “I need some help. I need to get two samples made. One of this orange and one of this green.” I wasn’t prepared for what happened. He looked at me without a smile and said, “I can’t do fabric. If I can see through it, I can’t do it. You have to go find your own swatch. And I assume you want low VOC paint so you should just look in the Olympic section.”

I’m sorry… what? I have a few issues here. Let’s discuss:

1. They can’t color match fabric?? What? Isn’t that the main thing people need to match? I tried to find the commercial to show y’all but I couldn’t find it. I wanted to see if it mentioned that they couldn’t match fabric. But the big purple stuffed animal, isn’t that fabric? As I was Googling this commercial, I did find some details about it. Apparently in that scene, it shows a Lowe’s employee matching a swatch with the big purple thing. The scanning machine didn’t match it. Maybe that’s something that should be mentioned next time, Lowe’s.

2. RUDE!

3. You’re wrong sir. Just because I need to buy low VOC paint, doesn’t mean I can only choose an Olympic color. In case you weren’t aware, you can mix any recipe in any brand of paint. Now wipe that frown off your face and get back to work. Punk.

4. “You’re going to have to find your own swatch.” Seriously? That’s the easiest way to go about doing this? Even the person in the commercial helped the customer.

So I started scanning through the 72 million swatches along the Lowe’s wall. I had worked my way through a few thousand of them and was nearing a breakdown when my parents came walking up. Thank you Lord, you must’ve known I needed some support during my time of need. I told my mom the conversation I just had with the angry man and she advised me to go to Home Depot. So I did.

This story isn’t very necessary to showing you my nursery choices but I just feel like I need to get it all out. I was peeved. When bloggers get peeved, they write about the problem.

Anyways, I went to Home Depot and timidly approached the paint desk. I told the woman, “I hope you can help. I need two samples. One of the orange, one of this light green.” She took my swatches in her hand and said, “Okay. But I need to be honest with you. I’ve worked here for 4 years and I’ve never had good luck with fabric. I’ll give it a shot but please don’t get your hopes up.” She’ll give it a shot, did you hear that? She continued, “That Lowe’s commercial has really screwed us over, people come in all the time wanting us to match fabric. It just doesn’t work well because of all the thread and the light behind it.”

She fiddled and toyed with her machine. The green looked like mustard. Wrong. The orange looked perfect. Perfectly beautifully burnt orange. I searched through green swatches on the wall and took them home.

Last night Stephen and I went back to Home Depot to have three green samples made. I wanted to get them on the wall and make a decision. Check it out:

It’s probably not the same as seeing it in real life but I love you and want you to be part of this experience. These are the paints.

Ahhh, beautiful. We ultimately chose the middle color. It’s bright without being too bright. It’s a beautiful, pure green. I love it. It’s pretty similar to the fabric, yes?

These are some other goodies that we bought for the room. Here’s a fun picture frame and the rug. The rug? Oh the softness! It’s amazing! (Yes I’m wearing tie-dye. No it’s not maternity. Yes my belly is hanging out the bottom. SORRY.)

And this is the valance that’ll go above the window. We also bought these curtains in 84″ length and they’ll replace the ugly cream closet doors that you can see behind Stephen. Also, the interior of the closet will be painted burnt orange.

We know that a baby’s room doesn’t really need pillows because they don’t actually use pillows. But we saw these and they were just too cute! Orange on one side and brown on the other. And then turquoise on one side and green on the other. Perfect! I should have taken a picture with the pillows flipped but I didn’t because I’m a doofus and it was past 10:00 and I was exhausted.

I can’t wait for it to all come together. We’ll hopefully be cleaning the carpets and/or installing the ceiling fan this weekend. (Can we talk about the ridiculousness of the previous owners? There wasn’t a single ceiling fan in this entire house when we moved in. None of the bedrooms had overhead lighting! What the what?)

I probably won’t show you any more pictures until it’s done. We have just about everything we need to put the room together, minus a crib mattress, sheets, and the actual paint we’re going to use. Oh and curtain rods. Anyone know where I can find simple curtain rods with clear balls on the end? (They are actually called “finials” but that sounds really fancy. I just need a clear ball.)

And I’m looking for a cute, easy, creative idea for a mobile. Something that is bright and fun and doesn’t clash. I know there are some creative types out there. Help me out! I’ve got nothing!

So what do you think? I told you I hate themes and I hate soft colors. How’s that for bold? And even though the bedding lady told me that it was a “true orange,” I couldn’t be more delighted that she was WRONG and it’s actually and very lovely burnt orange. All babies need a little burnt orange in their lives. Just don’t look to Lowe’s to provide that for you.

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June 10, 2010 at 8:34 am 31 comments


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