Not The Same

My blog has been disappointing me lately. Or more accurately, I have been disappointing my blog lately. Roots & Rings was my happy place for so long and then I got pregnant. Then it seemed like all I could write about was how tired I was or how giant my pillow was. I thought I’d slip out of my boring blogging funk once I had Jansen. (Riiiiight.) But now I’m more tired than I was before.

Here’s the problem. I don’t see anything anymore. I used to see things and turn them into stories. (If you are new to my blog as of about a year ago, then you don’t know this about me.) When I got pregnant, all I saw was my belly. And now? All I see is Jansen.

Now I’m not complaining. This is the season of my life when I’m going to be more tired than I ever imagined that I could be. This is also the season where absolutely nothing in my life can hold a candle to Jansen. Nothing is more important, nothing is funnier or cuter or more entertaining. Nothing. I have forgotten how to relate to the rest of the world.

This is frustrating to me. I used to love my blog. I loved sitting in front of my screen, trying to figure out a fun way to tell you about the boring details of my life. And it’s not that I don’t still have these experiences, and it’s not that I don’t cut out some time in my day to write about them… it’s just that my brain won’t let me develop them. Blog worthy things happen around me every single day but I have yet to remember how to write them down. So I have been sticking to showing you pictures of Jansen and telling you not-so-funny stories.

I’m annoyed. I’m frustrated. I’m sorry. And I’m ready for my creativity to sneak back into my life. But mostly, I’m thankful to those of you who have stuck around. Thank you for your emails and comments and support. One day I will get back to normal and all of my hormones will regulate and then maybe I’ll be able to put together my thoughts.

For now? You’re just going to have to be patient.

I used to say that the only way I could consistently come up with good stories is if I just forced myself to write. That may be my problem. I started giving myself outs. “Just show a picture today and then tomorrow you can mention this little fact.” And while I will be infinitely thankful that I kept up with my blog throughout my pregnancy (looking back is so fun!), I’m also disappointed that I didn’t use my situation for creative writing. Pregnancy is constant blog material, and I wasted it.

Be patient with me as I try to find my voice again. I need to figure out how to make this little site more entertaining and less all-in-your-face-baby-time. He’s cute, but there is a time and place for baby pictures… and I’m thinking that every single day may be too often.