Not The Same

October 28, 2010 at 7:17 am 16 comments

My blog has been disappointing me lately. Or more accurately, I have been disappointing my blog lately. Roots & Rings was my happy place for so long and then I got pregnant. Then it seemed like all I could write about was how tired I was or how giant my pillow was. I thought I’d slip out of my boring blogging funk once I had Jansen. (Riiiiight.) But now I’m more tired than I was before.

Here’s the problem. I don’t see anything anymore. I used to see things and turn them into stories. (If you are new to my blog as of about a year ago, then you don’t know this about me.) When I got pregnant, all I saw was my belly. And now? All I see is Jansen.

Now I’m not complaining. This is the season of my life when I’m going to be more tired than I ever imagined that I could be. This is also the season where absolutely nothing in my life can hold a candle to Jansen. Nothing is more important, nothing is funnier or cuter or more entertaining. Nothing. I have forgotten how to relate to the rest of the world.

This is frustrating to me. I used to love my blog. I loved sitting in front of my screen, trying to figure out a fun way to tell you about the boring details of my life. And it’s not that I don’t still have these experiences, and it’s not that I don’t cut out some time in my day to write about them… it’s just that my brain won’t let me develop them. Blog worthy things happen around me every single day but I have yet to remember how to write them down. So I have been sticking to showing you pictures of Jansen and telling you not-so-funny stories.

I’m annoyed. I’m frustrated. I’m sorry. And I’m ready for my creativity to sneak back into my life. But mostly, I’m thankful to those of you who have stuck around. Thank you for your emails and comments and support. One day I will get back to normal and all of my hormones will regulate and then maybe I’ll be able to put together my thoughts.

For now? You’re just going to have to be patient.

I used to say that the only way I could consistently come up with good stories is if I just forced myself to write. That may be my problem. I started giving myself outs. “Just show a picture today and then tomorrow you can mention this little fact.” And while I will be infinitely thankful that I kept up with my blog throughout my pregnancy (looking back is so fun!), I’m also disappointed that I didn’t use my situation for creative writing. Pregnancy is constant blog material, and I wasted it.

Be patient with me as I try to find my voice again. I need to figure out how to make this little site more entertaining and less all-in-your-face-baby-time. He’s cute, but there is a time and place for baby pictures… and I’m thinking that every single day may be too often.

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Entry filed under: Blogging.

Jansensational Seven Quick Takes

16 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Ashley  |  October 28, 2010 at 7:30 am

    I don’t know…. Jansen is awfully cute. However, you still have plenty of stories to share. For example, I’m sure we’d love to hear some more about Jansen’s christening. Or I know I’d still love to hear the conclusion to how you met/dated/married Stephen. Have a great Thursday!

  • 2. Southern Gal  |  October 28, 2010 at 7:35 am

    It’s your blog. You can do with it what you wish. Right now your focus is Jansen as it should be. We still love you no matter what you post or don’t post. By the way, being a mom and grandmom, I LOVE seeing pictures of his cute little face! Take your time. Don’t beat yourself up so. You’ll be fine and so will your blog.

  • 3. Mama Fuss  |  October 28, 2010 at 7:48 am

    I thought your pregnancy was interesting. I don’t think you complained the whole time. I thought it was realistic. I remember getting really frustrated and feeling so lost when I had my first baby. At 3 months, things got better and I started to feel more like me. So there’s that.

  • 4. Autumn  |  October 28, 2010 at 7:50 am

    You said it perfectly yourself… “this season” of your life. That’s exactly what it is… a season. A season to enjoy that sweet baby and take as many pictures of him as you possibly can and post them whenever you want!
    I am trying not to sound old or old-fashioned, but time doesn’t stand still.
    Don’t be annoyed, don’t be frustrated, and please don’t apologize! It is your blog and your life… Write and live in the way that works for you!
    Be blessed!

  • 5. Joy  |  October 28, 2010 at 8:06 am

    First ~ don’t rush yourself, taking time to love on your little one and settle in to your new normal is the right thing to do.

    Secondly ~ you recorded enough about pregnancy that you have the reference material when/if you ever want to write a story about it.

    Lastly ~ your blog, your call ~ baby pictures as often as you want.

  • 6. Karen  |  October 28, 2010 at 9:13 am

    You’re being too hard on yourself, I have enjoyed reading your experience with pregnancy, birth, and now having a beautiful baby. I for one will never tire of seeing his pics, they change so much, and so fast that it’s always interesting.

    Once he is old enough to respond to things you’ll have a whole lot more of interesting things to blog about. And I’ll laugh and laugh at you…I mean with you.

  • 7. Emmie  |  October 28, 2010 at 9:48 am

    Your blog is always fun to read! Give yourself a break. You JUST had a baby and you work fulltime. P.S. There could NEVER be too many pictures of the cutest baby on the face of the earth. That is this Emmie’s opinion

  • 8. Taryn M. Peine  |  October 28, 2010 at 9:56 am

    You just need some time to adjust sister! I’m sure going from not having a baby to having a baby is HUGE to get used to! You’ll get back to a new version of normal in no time and then you’ll start to feel your creativity again. Don’t be hard on yourself!

  • 9. Holly  |  October 28, 2010 at 10:17 am

    I love reading about Jansen too 🙂 I’m going through the same thing with my blog … I said I’d never turn into a “mommy blogger” but Topher’s pretty much my world right now – so he’s what I’m writing about for this season! And hey, some of the silly things you do when you’re so ridiculously tired might make funny stories for blogging. Like running a bath and putting the bubblebath in the toilet instead of the tub. Or trying to turn the tap off by hitting the light switch and wondering why it’s not working … both of which I’ve done 😀

  • 10. Lenae  |  October 28, 2010 at 10:42 am

    I agree with all of the above: Cut yourself some slack, enjoy your sweet baby boy, and let the blog stuff come when it comes. You are highly entertaining (and didn’t stop being so after you got pregnant or after you had Jansen!), and you know what? You’ve never stopped being you – your life is changing and so is your blog, and the people who truly enjoy your spot on the web will keep coming back because it’s you they enjoy.

  • 11. Rachel  |  October 28, 2010 at 11:24 am

    Give yourself some slack and time. The fact is the people who read your blog either loved you BEFORE they even read your blog (ie me), and will continue to read because they love you and love to hear about your life and Jansen. OR they grew to love you through your blog and will keep reading because they still like learning about you and your life. Personally, I’m just impressed that you remember to blog everyday!

  • 12. Darla Baerg  |  October 28, 2010 at 12:32 pm

    Letting yourself off the hook is one of the most important lessons you can learn as a mom … in my opinion. Maybe that’s b/c I let myself off the hook A LOT.

    Hang in there … it is a season. An exhausting season but so very, very good.

  • 13. Lisa of Lisa's Yarns  |  October 28, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    No need to explain OR apologize! I am impressed thatyou find any time to blog! I am not a mom, but my sisters-in-law are and I know how busy they are. So cut yourself some slack. I find that whenever I go through big changes in life (changing jobs, dating someone new), I sort of lose the desire to blog, either becuase I am overwhelmed (like the new job) or because I am just trying to live life and enjoy it and not write about it (like when dating someone new).

    The words will come back! Until then, I am always happy to get a frequent dose of baby cuteness in the form of pics you share with us!

  • 14. Ashley  |  October 29, 2010 at 1:26 am

    You don’t even need to have a baby in order to have a blog identity crisis, so I’m sure this only further complicates things. I try to let my blog change as I change, but that’s not easy and no matter what I always feel like something has changed and not for the better. Take all the time you need.

  • 15. Nora  |  October 29, 2010 at 12:22 pm

    I think we all go through blogging funks; I’m going through one right now. I feel like I’m a better blogger when I’m busy and hardpressed for time. Now that I have lots of it? I don’t even caree if I blog really. It’s interesting.

    All this to say is that I like your blog, whatever direction you go in because I like *you*. See how that works!? 😉

  • 16. mom (nana)  |  October 29, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    I love you no matter whether you blog or don’t blog, whether you are funny or not funny…..you are great just the way you are and you need to stop and enjoy this time of your life and not put so much pressure on yourself. God, Stephen and Jansen are your priorities right now. Eventually you will have more energy and your mind will return to “normal” (whatever that might be) and you can carry on. Sending hugs cause I sense you might need one or two!
    P.S. NEVER NEVER can have too many pics of my precious grandson!

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