Archive for January 17, 2011

Oh For Pete’s Sake

That was my tweet last week. “Oh for Pete’s sake.” It was the only thing I could manage to get out that I wouldn’t regret. “My ****** dog” and “Are you ****** kidding me? I will kill her!” did not seem very nice.

Okay y’all, see through my anger. I do love my dog and, for the most part, she is kind of awesome. But every now and then she does something to make me remember that she is an animal and could very well live in the woods on her own and be just fine. DO YOU HEAR THAT, ROOKIE?

Do you remember last year when I told you about how much Rookie hates the mailman and tries the destroy the mail? You can click here if you want a refresher or if you’d like to see the proof. Here are the basics: Our mail comes through a mail drop directly into our house, Rookie hates the mailman, sometimes she chews up the mail as it’s coming through the slot. She got in big trouble earlier this year and has been good ever since.

But, well, last Thursday she out Rookie’d herself.

My mother in law was at our house, as she is every Tuesday and Thursday, because she gets to watch my baby those days. They were relaxing on the world’s most comfortable recliner (seriously) and Rookie was hanging out at their feet. Jansen was asleep and I’m not quite sure about Rookie, whether she was asleep or not is irrelevant as far as I’m concerned.

The mailman approached the door, Rookie didn’t see him coming. As he began to push the mail through the slot, she fah-reaked out. She hopped up and with the speed of an African sprinter, she hauled it towards our front door. The problem with sprinting indoors is two-fold. 1) It is very hard to slow down when you need to. 2) You run into things.

This is what we call foreshadowing.

This is what our front door looks like from the inside.

Yes, the grout is disgusting. It’s stained. I don’t want to talk about it unless the conversation involves you giving me lots of money to hire someone to tear up the floors and install some wood. What I really wanted you to see were the windows on either side of the door. They are these little foot by foot windows running from the floor to the ceiling.

Look there on the right. There is a giant television stand pressed up against the windows. Why, you ask? Well we don’t usually have it there. In fact, it was in the hallway for us to take to Goodwill. But it had to get moved because my IDIOT DOG didn’t stop running and ran smack into the glass.

Do you know what happens when you run at full force towards a window and hit it with a pointy snout? That’s right. It breaks. It shatters and flies down your walk way and (thankfully) misses the mailman to avoid any law suits. It also scares the crap out of your mother in law.

So I get a call at work telling me about the incident. I was this close to telling my mother to letting Rookie out the front door and not letting her back in. Ever. But I love that dog something fierce so after going on and on about how much of an idiot she is, I finally asked if she was okay. She was. She got a gash on her front leg that was bleeding a bit but seemed to be okay.

We ended up taking her to the vet on Friday evening. (And by “we” I mean “Stephen,” as I almost always do when it comes to errands that I dread.) The vet said that she could have had a stitch put in, had we brought her in sooner. I don’t really know if I believe that, I think that doctors will put a stitch in the flu if you let them.

She’s fine now. She’s healing like a champ. She may or may not have learned her lesson regarding the mailman. Stephen talked to the mailman on Saturday and he said she scared the poo out of him. He thought she was going to come flying through the window.

All those posts I’ve written about my smart dog? Ignore them. I don’t care if she can go to her room when she sees us putting our shoes on, or if she can go find Stephen for me if I tell her to. She doesn’t understand two very basic facts. The mailman is not evil. And just because something looks clear, doesn’t mean there is nothing there.

For Pete’s sake.

January 17, 2011 at 7:17 am 16 comments


Calendar

January 2011
M T W T F S S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  

Feeds

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 39 other followers

My Button

Since the code doesn't work, save it as a jpg and be sure to link back to Roots & Rings.

Join Swagbucks!

Search & Win