Archive for January, 2011

Oh For Pete’s Sake

That was my tweet last week. “Oh for Pete’s sake.” It was the only thing I could manage to get out that I wouldn’t regret. “My ****** dog” and “Are you ****** kidding me? I will kill her!” did not seem very nice.

Okay y’all, see through my anger. I do love my dog and, for the most part, she is kind of awesome. But every now and then she does something to make me remember that she is an animal and could very well live in the woods on her own and be just fine. DO YOU HEAR THAT, ROOKIE?

Do you remember last year when I told you about how much Rookie hates the mailman and tries the destroy the mail? You can click here if you want a refresher or if you’d like to see the proof. Here are the basics: Our mail comes through a mail drop directly into our house, Rookie hates the mailman, sometimes she chews up the mail as it’s coming through the slot. She got in big trouble earlier this year and has been good ever since.

But, well, last Thursday she out Rookie’d herself.

My mother in law was at our house, as she is every Tuesday and Thursday, because she gets to watch my baby those days. They were relaxing on the world’s most comfortable recliner (seriously) and Rookie was hanging out at their feet. Jansen was asleep and I’m not quite sure about Rookie, whether she was asleep or not is irrelevant as far as I’m concerned.

The mailman approached the door, Rookie didn’t see him coming. As he began to push the mail through the slot, she fah-reaked out. She hopped up and with the speed of an African sprinter, she hauled it towards our front door. The problem with sprinting indoors is two-fold. 1) It is very hard to slow down when you need to. 2) You run into things.

This is what we call foreshadowing.

This is what our front door looks like from the inside.

Yes, the grout is disgusting. It’s stained. I don’t want to talk about it unless the conversation involves you giving me lots of money to hire someone to tear up the floors and install some wood. What I really wanted you to see were the windows on either side of the door. They are these little foot by foot windows running from the floor to the ceiling.

Look there on the right. There is a giant television stand pressed up against the windows. Why, you ask? Well we don’t usually have it there. In fact, it was in the hallway for us to take to Goodwill. But it had to get moved because my IDIOT DOG didn’t stop running and ran smack into the glass.

Do you know what happens when you run at full force towards a window and hit it with a pointy snout? That’s right. It breaks. It shatters and flies down your walk way and (thankfully) misses the mailman to avoid any law suits. It also scares the crap out of your mother in law.

So I get a call at work telling me about the incident. I was this close to telling my mother to letting Rookie out the front door and not letting her back in. Ever. But I love that dog something fierce so after going on and on about how much of an idiot she is, I finally asked if she was okay. She was. She got a gash on her front leg that was bleeding a bit but seemed to be okay.

We ended up taking her to the vet on Friday evening. (And by “we” I mean “Stephen,” as I almost always do when it comes to errands that I dread.) The vet said that she could have had a stitch put in, had we brought her in sooner. I don’t really know if I believe that, I think that doctors will put a stitch in the flu if you let them.

She’s fine now. She’s healing like a champ. She may or may not have learned her lesson regarding the mailman. Stephen talked to the mailman on Saturday and he said she scared the poo out of him. He thought she was going to come flying through the window.

All those posts I’ve written about my smart dog? Ignore them. I don’t care if she can go to her room when she sees us putting our shoes on, or if she can go find Stephen for me if I tell her to. She doesn’t understand two very basic facts. The mailman is not evil. And just because something looks clear, doesn’t mean there is nothing there.

For Pete’s sake.

January 17, 2011 at 7:17 am 16 comments

A List

Friday brain dump…

Yesterday Big Mama announced the book for her first (and maybe, probably last) blog-based book club. I am not sure if I have the energy to, you know, read an entire book that doesn’t have bullet points or pictures but I’m going to try. I downloaded it to my Kindle and I’ll read while I pump. I’m sure I’ll fall asleep about 3 pages into it each time I sit down, but that’s okay. You can’t fail if you don’t at least try. Or something like that. Click here to read her post. We’ll be reading Half Broke Horses: A True Life Novel by Jeannette Walls. She is also the author of The Glass Castle, which so many of you have recommended. (I own it but have yet to read it.)

I blog. Every day. Which means that I put my business, as well as my family’s business, out on the internet every single day. Sure there are details that I don’t share, but a large portion of me is spread out onto the virtual pages of Roots & Rings. In an effort to keep a small bit of privacy, my husband and I have made an agreement that I would not be Facebook friends with blog friends. It’s not personal, it’s just a small thing I can do for my family. If we cross the lines and become real life friends, then I’d be more than happy to be your Facebook friend. I thought I’d address that because I have no less than 11 friend requests pending from blog readers. I can’t bring myself to push “ignore” because I’m really not ignoring you!

Jansen is still waking up one to three times per night. It’s still an easy fix, just stick the binkie in his mouth and he’s back to sleep. But after a solid 3 months of sleeping soundly through the night, this is not a welcomed change. I think we’re going to attempt our first tummy sleep tonight. He may be too big for the Miracle Blanket and ready to be set free. I’m sure I’ll have updated next week. And I’m sure you’re dying to hear all about it.

Once upon a time there was a hurricane named Ike. It hit my house and downed some trees. It left countless empty plots in my neighborhood. It was a bad hurricanes, as most hurricanes are. It took two restaurants away from us. I blogged about one of them here. I haven’t written about the other. It was a burger joint named Tookie’s. They’d been around forever… circa Adam and Eve. The grill was old and seasoned, the burgers were delicious, and the onion rings were out of this world. The rains came down and wiped the restaurant out. We thought they’d just gut it and reopen at some point. But then word got out that they weren’t going to open. It was a sad day. There was mourning and weeping.

But earlier this week my mom heard that there was a new burger place a bit further away, but it was owned by the chef of Tookie’s. So of course we had to check it out to see if this was just a filthy rumor or if we could get my beloved burger with bacon cooked right in the beef. BACON COOKED IN THE BEEF! I’m happy to report, my friends, that it is practically the same place, just under a new name. Now it’s called Stomp’s. And my Squealer is now called a Hog Wild. So the world my be at peace again.

January 14, 2011 at 7:20 am 5 comments

A Day In The Life Of A Nana

Top Ten Reasons Why We Should All Aspire To Be A Nana:

10. Super cozy loveseats.
9. Soft baby blankets on your skin.
8. The sound of binkie sucks.
7. Baby sighs.
6. Can you even imagine the scent??
5. Puppy cuddles.
4. Babysitting the grandkids.
3. Pure relaxation.
2. Daytime naps.
1. A chunky baby sprawled out on your chest.

That’s it. When I grow up I want to be a Nana.

January 13, 2011 at 7:18 am 7 comments

Remember When I Used To Blog About Biggest Loser

Many Wednesdays of this blog’s life have been spent doing very scientific studies of The Biggest Loser. We’ve discussed things like Alison’s cleavage, Jillian’s language, and if Bob and Amanda are dating. Serious stuff, y’all. And then I got pregnant and I was tired all the time so watching Loser got harder. But I did it anyways… I took one for the team. Half of you hate the Loser posts, half of you are only readers because of them. So I guess its win-win. Or lose-lose. Whatever. But then last season the producers changed everything and it was terrible. I watched two episodes and then decided I was going to spend two hours staring at Jansen instead of Biggest Loser.

Well, ladies and gents, I started again. I watched last week to see if had gone back to normal and, for the most part it has… minus the whole two faceless trainers thing.

I don’t have a whole lot to say about last night’s episode except that I loved Alison’s dress and I don’t understand why they aren’t showing us the new trainers’ faces. It’s not like they are known figures. Who really cares? NOT IT.

What I guess I’m trying to say is that I still have a deep love for The Loser. And, well, when you love something, you’ve got to let it be known. Are y’all watching this season?

In other completely unrelated news, Jansen is really growing up. He’s all about grabbing things and trying to shove them in his mouth. The funny part is that he’ll grab something and try to put it in his mouth, but instead his fist will go in his mouth. It’s pretty stinking cute. HE is pretty stinking cute.

We’ve tried his Bumbo several times but he’s never really been a big fan. Not anymore. Big fan:

Sorry it’s dark, I took it with my phone. But you can still see the cuteness through the darkness, right? No? How about this?

January 12, 2011 at 7:03 am 13 comments

Ten on Tuesday (62)

These questions are from my friend, Molly. You can go visit her by clicking here.

1. Is there a band/artist that you HATE? 
I hate hate hate Shania Twain and Coldplay. I dislike Dave Matthews Band, Kenny Chesney, Toby Keith, and all bands that scream so loud that you can’t understand the words.

2. What do you do when you get a gift that you do not like? How do you react?
I like most gifts I receive. And if I don’t like the gift, I still appreciate the gesture, so I can still be thankful for that.

3. How is your work office/cubicle decorated?
It isn’t. Work is not my happy place so I don’t spend much energy making it nice. I have a few pictures on my bookshelf and credenza. I can’t hang anything on my walls because they are decorative glass. I suppose I could tape things up but then it would be weird for my office neighbors.

4. Do you use all of your vacation every year?
Ha. Do we really want to get into this subject? I get 5 days per year… so, yeah. I use it all.

5. Did you have a real or fake Christmas tree?
Fake. And it’s still up. Don’t judge me. We’ll take it down this week. It’s huge and takes a while to take down. We had a full, fun weekend and sort of just ignored it.

6. If you could have anything for dinner tonight, what would it be?
I’m sort of in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich and homemade tomato soup. We can’t have that though. I have defrosted chicken in the fridge. Plus, my husband doesn’t think we’ve had a meal unless meat is involved.

7. Do you bite your fingernails?
Absolutely not.

8. How many cups of coffee do you drink each day?
Anywhere between zero and four. It depends on how tired I am, if the office pot is full, and how my stomach feels.

9. Do you have a nervous tick?
No, unless you consider putting on Chapstick. I do it mindlessly and often do it to fill dead time.

10.  How often do you vacuum?
Our living room gets vacuumed about 2-4 times per week because we have a giant black rug that collects dog hair. The rest of our house? Not often enough. We have a Roomba but sometimes he gets lost.

Your turn. Link up!


January 11, 2011 at 7:04 am 23 comments

Well Hello There, Monday

I really have no idea where this post is going, but I do know that I have a couple things to cover. It could be an adventure to see how we get there and where we end up.

I’m currently sipping this fantastical chocolate cherry port that we bought from a local winery. I’m normally a white wine sort of gal but I’m making an effort to be an equal opportunity boozer. Bagillions of people love red wine, why can’t I? I’m getting there, friends. Unfortunately as it stands, the two that I enjoy are not in my typical under $10 price range. Stephen and I are quite frugal but I think we’ve decided that a little splurge here and there could make us quite happy.

I had a great weekend. On Friday, Stephen and I stopped at Old Navy so I could buy my first pair of non-maternity jeans in over a year. I’ve been in denial because it’s really difficult to purchase jeans in bigger sizes. It feels like you’re losing, like you’re giving in. But I am so ridiculously tired of my maternity jeans so I gave in. I found two pairs that look good and don’t make me feel bad about my mommy hips. And because God loves me and wants me to be happy, He put a $15 pair of jeggings in my path. They are two sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size, but I think I’ll just cut off the tag and pretend the are tiny.

Saturday was productive. Jansen slept about 23 out of 24 hours which allowed Stephen and I to do things. Me? I slept. Jansen woke up at 6:30 to eat so I fed him and we went back to sleep until 9:30. It was grand. Then I did random things around the house. Stephen spent about 2 hours on the roof smearing tar all over random holes. We have a couple holes that we’ve been unable to patch. So he bought a can of roof tar the size of Tallahassee (if Tallahassee is huge) and went to town. Unfortunately we found out later that night during The Rainstorm of 2011 that one of the holes is still not patched. Let me tell you, friends, that is enough to make a man go crazy.

Saturday evening I concentrated on keeping Jansen awake so he’d sleep later that night while Stephen made our ENTIRE HOUSE SMELL LIKE A SEWER. You see, he’s started a new hobby. Beer making. I’m a full supporter of this new hobby. It’s like a man’s version of crafting. And he’ll get to drink and share the final product, which I think is great. I just had no idea it was going to smell so bad. I told him that whenever he makes his second batch, I will be out of town that weekend on a Girl’s Trip.

This post certainly makes us sound like lushes.

Sunday was Stephen’s birthday. I now, as I do every year, feel like I’m married to an old man. He only turned 27 and I know that’s not actually old, but every year I feel like it is. This time last year he turned 26 and I kept saying, “Wow, we’re getting old.” Not the point though. The point is that it was his birthday and we had a great day. We started the day with Shipley’s donuts, went to church, and then went to my parents for lunch. His parents and his sister and her boyfriend came over and we all enjoyed crockpot chicken tacos a la Lauren From Texas. For dessert we had an apple crumble that my mom made. So good. That Barefoot Contessa knows what she’s doing.

My parents and his parents went in together and bought him an antique (looking) globe. It’s an item on his “I want to own before I die” list. It beautiful and makes me feel dumb, but he loves it and that makes me happy.

And that puts us here. It’s Sunday evening as I type this. I am watching Iron Chef, Stephen is playing guitar, and Jansen is frantically trying to eat his zoo animals fabric book. We’re one small happy family and the only wish I have at this point is for a few more days in this weekend.

I’m not sure if I covered everything on my agenda but I think we took a nice tour of the weekend.

I used to find the winners of our Gumdrop Greetings giveaway. The name is a link and you should definitely check her out again because she added more items over the weekend. And if you buy a set, you are more than welcome to bless me with some snail mail!

I’m not fancy enough to show screen shots so I’ll just tell you the winners.

The winner of the Hello Pastel Notecards is comment #20, which is Taryn. And the winner of the Free Hug Coupon Mini Notecards is comment #31, which is Krys. Girls, I’ll get you in touch with Erin so you can get your goods.

Ten on Tuesday is posted.

That post wore me out. I’m going to bed.

January 10, 2011 at 7:05 am 5 comments

A List

I decided that I’d stop calling my Friday posts “Seven Quick Takes” since I’m always too lazy to link back to the Quick Takes maker. So now, we’ll just have A List on Friday. I know, the title is so creative you could hurl.

They always say two wrongs don’t make a right… but I don’t like Kenny Chesney or Dave Matthews but I really like their duet, “I’m Alive.”

Last night I went to see a speaker at a local church. If you’re a long long time R&R reader you may remember a year and a half ago when I mentioned that a senior girl at my old high school was killed in a car accident. Her dad was a pastor at our church. I didn’t know her, had only met her once or twice, but it was devastating to our community. Anyways, her mom spoke last night. I heard her speak about 6 months after the accident and that was hard. But now that I have my own child? So much harder. It almost (almost) makes you wish you never had kids so you’d never have to face that sort of devastation.

When you are in a crowded church listening to a speaker, you should never put smelly lotion on your hands. Especially if that lotion smells like Fruit Loops.

And also you shouldn’t fart during the blessing.

This is it y’all. This weekend I will finally buy a pair on non-maternity jeans that fit me. I’m a fool if I think I’ll fit in my pre-pregnancy jeans anytime soon. And if I have to wear these jeans any longer, I may break down in a hormonal fit of hysterics.

Ugh. Jansen holds his own bottle now. Not well, mind you, but he still does it. He’s learning all about reaching and grabbing and he likes to put his hands on his bottle while he eats. If he gets them just right, you can let go and he’ll hold it. It sort of makes me want to cry because that means he’s practically a grown up.

The beauty of calling this A List instead of Seven Quick Takes is that I can have as many or as few numbers as I want.

I needed to make a number 8 just so I didn’t have 7.

January 7, 2011 at 7:23 am 10 comments

Because At This Rate, I’ll Have No Memory At All

Ever since I got pregnant, my memory has slowly been declining. I used to be known for my amazing memory. I could recall any detail about any day without much reflection. My mom used to call me to tell me something so that I could remind her later. Not anymore. I thought it was just “pregnancy brain” and would only last 9 months. Nope. My memory is still mush. It’s terrible. I came to the conclusion last night that the reason it’s so terrible is because I never really get enough sleep. My constant exhaustion is making my brain useless.

With that said, this post is probably more for me than it is for you. Thirty years from now, I’m going to wonder if I was present in my niece’s first year of life. YOU WERE, FUTURE CHELSEA. I SWEAR YOU WERE THERE!

Avery turned one on December 29. Do you remember her birth last year? If not, you may want to visit this post. And then this post. And it was a few days after that when many of you started asking me if I was pregnant. You’d email me and leave winky comments on my blog. It was really quite funny. I had no idea why you might think that, besides the fact that I was loving on my baby niece so much. I wasn’t intentionally lying to you at that point, I had no idea I was pregnant. But sure enough, there was a teeny tiny human being living in my womb… and you all knew if before I did. I must’ve had a surge of hormones bursting through me the night I met Avery for the first time, because that is precisely when Jansen’s life was formed. DO YOU HEAR THAT AVERY AND JANSEN? How is that for awkward conversation?!

Anyways, I’m rambling about nothing. (What’s new?) The point is that this weekend we celebrated Avery’s first birthday and I had a baby in tow. MY MY MY how things change in a year! (Please remember that, every single person reading this. Where you are today is most certainly not where you will be on January 6, 2012. And I’m not talking about geography!) Avery partied it up with her family and a flower cupcake. She fell in love with the icing but decided that birthday hats were of the devil. Our normal smiley Avery entered into a fit of rage the second that hat went on her head. (It may or may not have something to do with the fact that Laura accidentally snapped her nose with the elastic band… but whatever.)

Isn’t she the cutest?? Well, actually I happen to think my son is the cutest… but she is certainly the cutest girl!

And because no picture post is ever complete without a cameo from my little man…

I know what you’re all thinking and all I can say is I DO NOT KNOW why God decided to give this family two ridiculously cute and OH SO HAPPY babies. But we’re not complaining one bit and we’re doing our part to share them with the world.

Don’t forget to enter my blogiversary giveaway on yesterday’s post.

January 6, 2011 at 9:36 am 6 comments

Not So Terrible Twos?

Today is my mom’s birthday, y’all! Isn’t that exciting? And she gets to spend the day with her sisters, babysitting my child. That’s a pretty good set up, if you ask me! And as if it couldn’t get any better, she gets to have dinner with ME tonight. Man, her life is awesome.

You know who else’s birthday it is? Roots & Rings! Yes siree, today this little blog turns two. I have been writing nonsense for two full years. I can hardly believe it. And what’s more, I can hardly believe that people are still reading it. Thank you from the bottom of my overflowing heart for reading and commenting and emailing and tweeting. I still get excited every time I get a comment, I’m in shock every time I get an email saying that one of you has subscribed to my emailed posts.

This past year hasn’t been the best blogging year. Pre-pregnancy I wrote about fun stuff. I wrote daily posts about funny things that happened in my life. I was a lot more creative back then. Once I got pregnant, my blog turned into a whine fest about how tired I was, a place to seek advice from other moms, and details about my lack of sleep and weight gain. Bless you for sticking with me.

I don’t know if I’ll ever make it back to where I was. I liked that blogger… but that blogger spent no less than an hour writing each night. I no longer have that time. We’ll see. Who knows what this year has in store for me.

To celebrate this second blogiversary, I’m hosting a giveaway. Erin (remember her from yesterday?) just reopened her Etsy shop and she’d like to give two of you a little somethin’ somethin’. Her shop is called Gumdrop Greetings (<– link) and she makes the cutest little notecards. They are handmade and affordable and so sweet! We’re bloggers, we like writing and we LOVE mail, so I know you’ll appreciate these.

One winner will receive a set of Hello Pastel Notcards:

And one winner will receive a set of Free Hug Coupon Mini Notecards:

Cute, huh? Told ya!

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment. However, if you want extra entries you can favor Gumdrop Greetings on Etsy or like the shop on Facebook. Just leave an extra comment for each entry.

I’ll draw a winner on Sunday night sometime. Good luck, I love ya, Amen.

January 5, 2011 at 7:07 am 34 comments

Ten on Tuesday (61)

This week’s questions come from Erin from Erin B. Inspired. They actually sort of depress me because it makes me think about all that I don’t like about my house. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for it, it just needs work. The kind of work that we can’t afford. Regardless, go visit Erin and thank her for her questions!! They are great questions if you aren’t a Debbie Downer.

1. What type of home do you currently reside in? (house, apartment, etc.)
A house.

2. If you could completely redecorate one room in your home, what room would you pick, why, and what would you do to it?
Redecorate? Probably my living room. Although Stephen would probably never let me completely change it. We have dark wood beams, painted wood paneling (aka: smooth walls), and trim with a giant redish brick fireplace. It’s nice but not great. It just looks dated. It’s a lot like Young House Love’s new house. I’m anxious to see what they do with it.

But if we’re talking renovate? My kitchen. Completely renovate. We’re talking cabinets and walls and flooring. It’s probably just worth it to get a new house.

3. What is your favorite place to gain inspiration for your home decor style?
Most of my stuff is hand-me-down so I can’t really say I have a style. See? This topic is not good for me.

4. What is your favorite piece of decor in your home?
My red china cabinet. It is beautiful.

5. What do you want visitors to feel when they visit your home? Do you think your home gives off that feeling?
I want them to feel comfortable. No, I don’t think we’re there. Partially because my dog spazzes every time people come over and partially because I don’t know how to keep a clean house. I’ll get there one day. Ughhhh.

6. Describe your home in one word and explain why you chose that word.

Is that awful? Yes it is. I need to work on this contentment thing.

7. What are some predominant colors or patterns in your home?
I have a lot of green. I really like green.

8. What is your favorite room in your home and why?
The nursery! DUH! Here is the post with the nursery pictures.

9. Do you take a hands-on or DIY approach to projects around your home or do you enlist or hire help?
Stephen usually tries to fix things and he usually he can. But if it’s a tough one, we call our home warranty people and get someone comes out to help us for a mere $55.

10. Where is your favorite place to shop for home furnishings?
Under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning. Most of my stuff is hand me down or gifted. Although our amazing recliner and dining room table are from Rooms To Go. They are very grown up!

Your turn. Maybe y’all’s answers won’t me as depressing as mine.

January 4, 2011 at 7:04 am 12 comments

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