Posts filed under ‘Family’

Merry Christmas To You

Because I love you so much, I’m gifting you with some pictures of my baby boy from our Christmas last weekend. You’re welcome. You don’t even have to send me a thank you card.

December 22, 2010 at 7:02 am 15 comments

If I Didn’t Have A Blog, I’d Start One

I never realized that totally random things happened to me until I started a blog and opened my eyes. Now I notice weird and hilarious things all the time. Usually there are one or two odd things that happen per week, but Saturday… wow. It was the mother of all random days.

My family went to Dickens on the Strand. It’s a festival in Galveston where people dress up as characters from Dickens’ books. There are singers, jugglers, parades, etc. I was pretty excited about it– mostly because I got to spend the day with my family, but also because carnival food speaks to me on a different level. We got there a bit after noon and did some hardcore people watching. I wish I could show you a picture of this woman who had the most giant cha-chas I have ever seen but it was really hard to get a good photo without being obvious. Although I don’t know why I should care… if you put your jugs on display, you can’t be shocked when people look. Just imagine a “hefty” woman with giant jello molds spilling out of her dress.

I really don’t know why I’m telling you this.

Anyways, we were standing in the middle of the road eating our respective fried foods and drinking our respective high calorie beverages when all of a sudden a man starts singing. He was about 4 feet away and it scared the poo out of me. The man was dressed up and had a great voice. But since 1) many people were dressed up and 2) we were in the middle of the road, I had no reason to believe that this was anything but a random man singing.

Some family friends joined us for the day and a few lines into the song, our friend started singing along. Little did we know, he was joining in a flash mob. The second verse started and another person joined in. A few lines later, more joined. And on and on. Until about 12 people were singing and we were smack dab in the middle of it.

It was seriously one of the strangest things I have ever been part of. I just kept looking around and thinking, “Did that really just happen?”

It did. It really did. Then it got weirder.

I’m really not a fan of birds. Something about them really freaks me out so I really try to stay away from all things bird related. However, there was this bird show that Stephen wanted to see so I went with him. It was in the street, right in the middle of all the activity. They showed us several birds, and I can’t remember much about them because I don’t really care all that much. I do remember that the owls were really pretty and were completely silent when they flew.

They also brought out a vulture and it was disgusting and it walked right next to me.

Then out came the falcon. It was the closing act. It was big and beautiful and it didn’t really scare me. They made him fly from one perch to another to show us how pretty he was. Then they were going to show us this trick where they swing a leather bird around on a long string and the bird wiould be flying high in the air and would dive bomb the bird. So picture this: The bird is flying in the air (as opposed to the water?) and he lands on the shops. Then he soars a bit more and lands on another building. He flys around going high and low, coming close and going far. He doesn’t seem to be interested in the leather bird.

I had a bit of anxiety because this bird was literally on its own. There was no reason he couldn’t just fly away, never to be seen again. He kept going further and further. He’d come back a bit, then go even further. It was like one step forward and two steps back, only he was using wings and his two steps were more like 17. This bird went far.

But we’d survived three other birds so I tried to relax. Surely he was going to come back. (Don’t call me Shirley.)

HE DIDN’T, Y’ALL! He left. He flew away. The bird flew away. The trainers did a really good job at not freaking out but you could tell they were uneasy. One trainer took off. The other one remained calm and closed the show. “Well, I’m going to go try to find my bird…” We were shocked. SHOCKED! I couldn’t believe that was happening. I mean, I know it’s a risk that comes with the profession but, man, I felt bad for those guys. I can’t even begin to think about how much time and money went into training that bird. (“Obviously not enough,” said our friend.)

Several hours later we went by the tent to see if the bird had returned. I would have been shocked if it did. We were in the middle of the street in a random city, it’s not like the bird was familiar with the area. Sure enough, it hadn’t been found.

Cah-razy. It was a crazy day. We’d been trapped in the middle of a flash mob, we had witnessed a bird-gone-rogue, and then this:

December 8, 2010 at 9:16 am 11 comments

I MIGHT Be The Only One That Thinks This Is Funny

I got glasses on Friday. I swore I would never get glasses again after I got contacts in the 5th grade. You see, I got glasses when I was two years old and had them until I was able to get contacts. I was so tired of having them that I swore I’d never get them again. But now I’m tired of contacts. Funny how that works. So I got glasses.

That’s not the funny thing.

I took some pictures of our little family of three on Friday night. We were sitting on the couch and I thought, “Hey, I’d like to remember this moment” so I pulled out my camera and took some pictures of us. It’s not easy to get three people to look and smile at the same time. (It’s impossible to make one of those smile or look… we just needed him to not make crying or farting faces.) The result made me laugh.

Between the binky, the glare on my glasses, half closed eyes, and severe fatigue, this is what we got.

Okay so I’m aware that I may be the only person on the planet that thinks these are funny. But it’s my blog and I wanted to make sure these would be on the internet forever. You’re welcome, Jansen.

So those are my glasses and that’s my super cute family. And incase that’s not a good enough post for you, I caught Jansen smiling in his sleep. It’s REALLY close up and I apologize for that, but he was in my arms and I couldn’t get the camera very far away from his face. Plus, babies only smile for like half a second at a time so I had to be quick.

Yes, he’s wearing camo.

(I actually posted ToT questions last night. I know, I know. I impress myself!)

October 4, 2010 at 7:40 am 15 comments

If You Liked Bumptastic, You’ll Love…


…The Jansenator?

…The Weekly Photo?

…The Jansen Project?

I need a name. Help me, my dear creative readers! I decided I’d take weekly photos of Jansen to watch his growth, much like we took weekly photos of my belly. Then I saw that Young House Love takes pictures of their daughter on fun pieces of fabric. I loved that idea. They are fancy and Photoshop a weekly label on her onesie, but I don’t think I can copy that. We have a bunch of bright blankets so we’ll just take the photos on the blankets each week.

Today is Jansen’s 4 week birthday. As of this post, I have week one through three taken and I think they are looking good. I don’t have a good camera and I’m not very talented, but I have a cute subject… so that helps. My mother-in-law is also taking weekly pictures. Between the two of us, we’ll come up with something amazing!

Here are the first three weeks.

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Pretty cute, huh? Give me a name so I can add a tab at the top of my blog. I don’t promise to update that tab each week. I’d be fooling myself if I thought I could pull that off. It’ll be hard enough to remember to change him into a white onesie and take a picture each week. I promise to do a post each month with monthly photos because I have some darn cute monthly onesies to show off! (A friend of mine MADE them for him! Uhhh, awesome!)

So while we are talking about pictures, I’ll show you a few more. As a thank you, you can give me some name ideas for his weekly photos.

He is probably the cutest baby that has ever existed. (I only say “probably” because I haven’t actually seen every baby that has ever existed.)

September 30, 2010 at 7:36 am 22 comments

Like It Is (Part 2)

This is the second post in this two post series. If you missed Part 1 you can click here. Basically, this is an honest list of things you need to know about childbirth. In no way is this list meant to scare future moms. It’s purpose is actually the complete opposite… I want you to be prepared. NEWSFLASH: Some aspects of childbirth suck. If I’m the first to tell you that, well, you cannot be helped! Really though, it’s really not that bad. But if you scare easy, you shouldn’t read. All others, read on!

16. When people ask if Stephen stayed up by my face or down by my Baby Exit Zone, I wonder how they gave birth. Based on the position of my body as I was pushing, those places are so close that there isn’t much of an option. “Did he stay up by your face?” “Yes.” “Did he watch the whole thing?” “Yes.”

17. While in the hospital, you’re given some mesh undies. They are these one-size-fits-all thingies. They may look ridiculous but they are bliss. I wish I could wear them every day.

18. You bleed for weeks. Don’t like pads? Too bad!

19. Incase breastfeeding doesn’t suck enough, you also cramp while you feed. Your uterus literally contracts while you’re feeding. So you get to feel a very strong baby try to suck your boob off WHILE your entire belly aches.

20. Oh and you bleed while you breastfeed. And I don’t mean your boobs.

21. Stretch marks often show up AFTER you have the baby. I thought I only had two stretch marks. WRONGO.

22. Post pregnancy is much like your first trimester. You are always tired, seriously hungry, and if you don’t take stool softeners, you won’t poop for weeks.

23. Boobs leak. And they don’t care if there are visitors in the room. Around day 2 or 3, bra pads are extremely necessary.

24. All the pregnancy books tell you to pack this and that in your bag. I even went out and bought a nightgown and robe to bring with me. Not necessary. I lived in their gowns. I wasn’t about to ruin my new gown with all my blood and… other fluids. In my opinion, all you need is: socks, toiletries, an outfit to go home in, a sleeping nursing bra, bra pads, and some DVDs.

25. Don’t buy a nursing bra until you have the baby. There is no way of knowing what size your boobs will be ahead of time. (And don’t expect them to stay the same size from one hour to the next.) This excludes one sleeping bra. They are thin so just guess a size and it should work. You’ll want it once your boobs start behaving like a leaky faucet and you have to wear bra pads.

26. The first pee after childbirth is the longest pee of your life. It also takes a lot on concentration and it’s awkward because your nurse is there to help.

27. When they put your baby on your chest the very first time, it’s very odd. On one hand you want to hug him and stare at him. On the other hand, you are very aware that he is covered in white stuff and he’s still attached to something that is still inside you. So you kind of just lay there awkwardly while the rest goes down. And have no fear, your baby will look MUCH cuter in about 30 minutes.

28. Even when the seconds are slowly ticking and you’re on your second episode of Home Improvement and third episode of Cash Cab, time still flies. Take notes if you want to remember it.

29. The hospital runs on weird hours. They bring breakfast around 7:30 and dinner around 5:30. I don’t know why they think we function on those hours. Many a pot roast has been wasted because mommas aren’t ready for dinner at 5:30.

30. It’s a blur. It’s crazy. It’s not easy. But it is the best day of your life!

September 23, 2010 at 7:34 am 11 comments

Like It Is (Part 1)

(I chose not to blog about Biggest Loser this season. It just seems unreasonable for me to try to take it on. But incase you want to know my thoughts and feelings on last night… I thought it was the worst first episode ever. I think it’s cruel to give people the hope that they are chosen and then rip it away. I wish it had been a real episode. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.)

Many people have told me that they love my Pregnant Pause posts because I’m honest and tell it like it is. I see no point in hiding the fact that pregnancy causes stretch marks and constipation and sore feet. I think you should all know what you’re getting yourself into when you decide to expand your family. Yes, babies are cute and they are a blessing… but your thighs are going to blow up. And your butt? It gets it’s own zip code. And did you know that there is a stage in your pregnancy when you can no longer fit into your maternity clothes?? Yeah, that’s a fun time.

But I’m past that stage. Now it’s newborn time. So I thought I’d share some honest info with you about childbirth and these beginning stages of motherhood. If you are a male, feel free to leave. Also, I’ve been compiling this list for about a week and it got to be pretty long, so I’m going to post this in two parts.

1. Movies lie.

2. Not all contractions are brutal and not everyone’s water breaks on it’s own. It is totally possible that you could be having “good” contractions and you have no clue. (Yeah… More on that when I post the birth story.)

3. All nurses have the right to see and touch your lady parts. Be prepared for any nurse on duty to come “check” you… And on that note: Not all pelvic exams are created equal. Some are just awkward but some hurt like hell. Apparently there is a skill to it.

4. This is also true once the baby has made his arrival. Several times a day a nurse will come mush your belly and look in your panties. They act like this is a normal activity, it’s best if you act that way too.

5. A nurse even had me roll over so she could check to see if I had hemorrhoids. Thankfully she found nothing during her search. Her name was Pam, I will never forget.

6. Labor is pretty anti-climatic when you’ve got the drugs. It’s a waiting game. Once they break your water, they try not to check you unless it’s necessary because with every check comes the possibility of introducing bacteria to your Ladyness. So you just lay there and watch crappy shows on their crappy television that only goes channel up and only produces sound from a small remote attached to your bed.

7. When they say “Tell me if you feel like you need to have a bowel movement” what they DON’T mean is “Please don’t poop on the table.” What they DO mean is “When your baby is descending, you’re the only one that will know. So pay attention and let us know immediately. No pressure.”

8. Once you have the epidural, you lose all ability to hold in a fart. In fact, you will have no idea that you need to fart until you let out a “pfffft.” The first few times are shockingly, hilarious, and embarrassing. Eventually, you get used to it. Be sure your family is aware that you have no control over this. Your nurse won’t care.

9. The epidural sucks. SUCKS. Be prepared to repeat the prayer “Please relax me. Get me through this.” Over and over while tucked into your nurse’s chest. I hated it and I’m already dreading it for my next baby. However, I’m confident that it sucks less than the feeling of a human being coming out of my vagina. So I’ll take it! (More thoughts on epidurals during my birth story.)

10. When your nurse says that it’s baby time and you’re going to do some “practice pushing,” be aware that there is nothing “practice” about it. It’s real pushing, just without the doctor there.

11. I guess I probably should have realized this based on knowledge of what an epidural is, but you have to have a catheter. It sucks at first but it’s nice to not have to get up to pee every 15 minutes.

12. Another thing I should have known? When you have an epidural, you only push during contractions. Did y’all know this?? Okay so here’s the run down: You have time for three pushes during each contraction, then you have to wait. So…. breathe, breathe, push, breathe, push, breathe, push. Wait for 3 minutes. Repeat. What do you do during those 3 minutes? Nothing. Nothing at all. You twiddle your thumbs and try not to think about the fact that you are completely exposed under bright lights with 5 strangers and your husband in the room.

13. Breastfeeding sucks as much as people says it does. It’s also as wonderful as people say it is. I love that it’s MY time with Jansen… but it also hurts like hell.

14. When your milk comes in, your boobs turn into bowling balls. This is no exaggeration. They get about 4 times larger than normal and are hard as rocks. This is about the time you curse yourself for deciding to breastfeed. If I had been on the fence, I would have quit. It was frustrating. As my angel of a nurse said, “Well he is trying to latch on to a basketball, it’s almost impossible.” This stage only lasts about a day, if you can get through it, you can get through anything. (Note: This is a good time to learn to work your pump. It’ll save your life, your sanity, and your surroundings from an exploded boob.)

15. Also learned during this day before my wonderful nurse was on duty: Not all nurses are helpful.

Consider yourself educated… or at least halfway educated. The rest will come tomorrow.

September 22, 2010 at 7:29 am 25 comments

Rosey Cheeks

Thank you for all of the compliments on the nursery, I told you it was awesome! (Sorry about the “burp clothes” typo… I’m not sure how that happened but I’m seriously embarrassed!)

Did you notice the paintings? Of course you noticed the paintings, they were awesome! Let me remind you.

I wanted a “J” for the wall but I wanted it to be fun. This is fun.

And this is what I got when I requested “just some fun baby-type art for the wall… in my nursery colors.” I really am not sure how that vague of a request could turn into something so cool, but it did. That pretty much means that the artist was seriously creative and seriously talented. And I happen to know the artist.

My sister!! (Oh look, and there’s me and Jansen!)

She’s kind of awesome at painting. She’s kind of awesome at a lot of things but I’m just focusing on her painting today. Why? Because I want to show you this.

That’s the banner to my sister’s Etsy shop. You can click on it and go visit. In fact, you SHOULD click on it and go visit. And if you have any nurseries to buy for, you should get in touch with her. Or if you have any ideas for non-nursery paintings, she can do that as well.

The name of the shop is The Rosey Cheeks. Her name is Lindsay but most of her friends call her Rosey– it stems from our last name. And if you look closely, there’s a baby butt on the banner. Cheeks… get it?! That’s pretty much the cutest thing ever.

Anyways, I just wanted to alert you guys of this store. Hopefully if you ever need a painting, you’ll think about her. Also, feel free to add her button to your blog. Just save it as a jpg and make sure it links to her shop. (

September 16, 2010 at 7:30 am 15 comments

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