Posts tagged ‘Bob Harper’

Loser Season 9 Finale!

YAY! The finale!!

Alison is looking beautiful in her red dress and her hair is fantastic.

Flashbacks from before the contestants got to the ranch. (I will do everything I can to make you proud… again.) These flashbacks make me so happy. Such a wonderful show. How can anyone not like this show???

So we know that Ashley and Michael are in but we have yet to find out if the third finalist is Koli or Daris. My guess is Daris because 1) he’s cooler and 2) my highly scientific method of asking my blog readers who they voted for shows that Daris will win.

Before we find out, we get to see them. DARIS! Looks amazing. He’s learning how to manage his time and stress so he doesn’t over eat at night. Atta boy. He has a ladyfriend! Yay for ladyfriends! Her name is Heather and she’s beautiful. They are a beautiful couple.

Now Koli. What is he wearing??? And why is he screaming? Pink pants are not okay. I feel like he is a different person than he used to be… but not in a good way. He annoys me now and I think he’s obnoxious. Koli just said “swagger.” Out loud. On national television.

The results: The winner is DARIS! My blog science is accurate!

OH! I forgot Shay is back!! We get to see how much she’s lost since the last finale. She gets $1000 per pound that she’s lost. She is gorgeous! She started at 304 and is now 252 so she wins $52,000! If she completes a marathon with Jared (Jared the Subway guy) they will double her amount. Awesome!!

Cherita and Victoria. And Sherry (so cute!) They are all wearing dresses in their team’s color! And now Maria. Cherita looks amazing for only being on campus for 5 seconds. And now they are going back to change… wow, they were out there for a minute.

Cherita  – 91 – 32.85% ALL at home
Victoria – 136 – 37.99%
Sherry – 99 – 45.41% She looks a lot older because of her loose skin. My sister thinks she looks like Helen. (Gross.)
Maria – 114 – 40.57% She looks awesome!!! Gorgeous! So proud of her and Michael! They have gooood genes!

Patti and Stephanie. James and John. Again, we are going to talk about how in loooooove Stephanie is with Sam. The brothers are still pretty big.

Patti – 73 – 30.04% She is so cute!! I just love her!
Stephanie – 99 – 37.50%
James – 128 – 26.39% He’s lost SO much weight ON HIS OWN and is still big!
John – 149 – 30.79% Good job.

Melissa… blah. Lance. My sister said, “I love how he dressed up for the occasion.” Migdalia and Miggy. This is the most hated group from this season. “Biggest Loser was not about the money for us.” Melissa… it’s the finale, no need to lie anymore. It was clearly about the money Miss Game Player.

Melissa – 90 – 38.something% I love that they showed her fight with Bob… just incase you forgot that you hate her.
Lance – 128 – 35.07%
Migdalia – 52 – 19.62% Still unhappy. Not my favorite.
Miggy – 91 – 37.92% Her hair looks so much better!

Sherry is still in the lead. Couldn’t be happier for her. Sherry is so sweet!

O’Neal styling in his suit! Sunshine- gorgeous. Darrel, looks great!! Andrea, her hair looks goood! Seriously, I love that they are all wearing their team colors. Did they do that before??

O’Neal – 159 – 40.87% Alison just told him that he was her favorite. I think that’s against the rules!
Sunshine – 114 – 41.45% She looks so good, she is so tiny!
Darrell – 189 – 45.76% HE DID IT!!! We like him too so I’m okay with that!
Andrea – 84 – 28.19% (I wouldn’t be getting these percentages if I wasn’t at my parents watching the DVR.)

Cheryl, so cute. Sam – WHY DO THESE GUYS DRESS SO WEIRD??? That shirt DOES NOT fit. Koli in his pink pants. Ugh. Sam looks like the Village People. Gross.

Anyone plan on watching Losing It? Not it!

Cheryl – 76 – 33.48% She looks healthy and not saggy!
Sam – 142 – 38.17% Knew it wouldn’t be him.
Koli – 215 – 45.76% WOW! But his attitude, ugh. Cheer up and smile a bit. (Edited: His percentage was actually 53.35% — I must’ve seen Darrell’s percentage still on the screen and marked that down. Sorry y’all!)

So Koli is the at-home winner. Good for him……..

Daris is still hunky. Ashley WOW. She is SO small! She is so pretty! Yay Ashley! Michael HOLY MOLYYYYY! How did he do that??? Not my favorite outfit… but sheesh! He is sooo handsome. Wow. I love all three of these contestants so I’m goinbg to be both happy and sad in a few minutes! The order will be Daris, Ashley, and then Michael.

(I will do everything I can to make you proud.) HEY BIGGEST LOSER, next season let’s not repeat the same clip 461 times. Kapeesh?

Daris – 168 – 48.55%  IN YOUR FACE KOLI!
Ashley – 183 – 48.93% I am just shocked looking at her!  So she’s ahead now.
Michael (I love him! “Are my abs showing??” One of the best BL moments ever!) – 264 – HE DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! A-mazing!!!

Yay Michael! I LOVE this show. Anyone have any thoughts and feelings on this episode?? The finale is always so wonderful! My mom is depressed because now it’s over. I’m not depressed because I know there will be another season! I’ll see you then!

I’ll leave you with a conversation that went on at as we were watching…

Stephen- Man, Michael and Ashley are dating.
Lindsay- No. They aren’t. I think he just likes her.
Stephen- Or maybe he’s gay?
Chelsea- He’s not gay!
Mom- He’s not gay. He’s Italian. Italian men aren’t gay.

May 26, 2010 at 7:04 am 20 comments

Loser 9.18: The Marathon

Koli, Ashley, Daris, and Michael. We are down to the final four. We are starting off with some flashbacks of their time on campus. I’ll just pepper in my thoughts. Michael is really handsome. Ashley’s face has changed so much, she looks like a completely different person. Remember that week when Daris ripped up his arms on the floor? That was gross.

They are going home for 30 days to do it on their own. Then they’ll come back to campus to weigh in. Not sure if one person will immediately be eliminated or if we’re voting for the person to keep the final slot. We shall see!

These homecoming parties are amazing!! I wish I was at all of them and could run up and hug these people. They look fantastic! I’m so proud of them!!! UGH I LOVE THIS SHOW!

“I will do everything I can to make you proud.” AGAIN. That’s probably the fifteenth time they’ve used that sound clip. Enough! Daris has lost a total of 151 pounds. Amazing. Michael has lost a total of 204 pounds. TWO HUNDRED AND FOUR. Ashley has lost a total of 143. She still has a ways to go, she could very well win this season. And Koli has lost a total of 172 pounds.

Alison showed up on their screens to tell them that they’re going to be running a marathon while they are home. Yuck. No thank you!

More random thoughts: Koli is talking about how happy he is but his tone is depressing. He doesn’t sound happy. I hope he is. Michael’s interviews from the first week… wow. His voice is so different! OH MICHAEL. How much did they pay you for the Jennie O Turkey plug? (For the record, Jennie O, there’s a tab at the top of my blog. Feel free to contact me… I can do cheesy product plugs in exchange for cash.) I love Daris’ mom! What was her name? Cheryl? “You went from a boy to a man right in front of my eyes.” In front of our eyes too. OH listen to him! “If I want to impress anyone, it’s my mom.” Atta boy! I’m proud of Ashley for growing up a bit and knowing that she doesn’t need to live the party life in order to be happy. It’s so true girl, I became the happiest when I gave that life up too.

 Ashley has perfect skin. Ashley calls Michael to chat and it seems that they have an agenda. Michael mentions that he’s up weight, he must be the one that gains. I hope not. They decide to run the marathon together. Michael calls Ashley “shortcake” and Ashley calls him “babe.” Which, as you know, means several dozen people will Google “Are Ashley and Michael dating?” I still think that they aren’t, but they may have little crushes.

Curtis Stone showed up to Daris’ house and talked about going to his favorite restaurant. He says he can’t go because there aren’t any healthy options. So Curtis adds a Daris section to the menu with a few healthy options.

UGH OH! Daris is eating. He got stressed and ate. It made him feel like crap so he ate some more. And more. Not good man. Not good!

Koli went to Vegas to work out and focus. He wanted to get away from all the temptations at home. Pretty smart. I know the trainers won’t agree because they’ll want him to get used to life at home, but really, who cares? It’s still a game. He can get used to it after the game.

Bob and Jillian surprised the contestants at their houses. I don’t really have many comments right now…

Time for the marathon. It’s raining. Bummer. Daris is leading the pack, of course. Then Koli. Then Ashley and Michael. On mile 13, Daris is met by season 2’s winner, Matt. I have no idea who that is. I wonder if they make them study these people so they don’t have to ask who they are. Sione met Koli at mile 13. Sadly, Sione has gained some weight back. I hate seeing that. Ali greeted Ashley and Mike met Michael. I LOVE MIKE! He looks like maybe he’s gained a little weight but he still looks great.

Tara’s time was 4:55 and Daris not only wants to beat it but he wants to finish around 4 hours. He finished at 4:03. Wowza! That’s pretty amazing. Koli finished at 6:08 and had a bit of a physical, emotional breakdown. Michael and Ashley finished at 6:26. I didn’t see that coming, I thought they were quite a ways behind Koli.

Time for the weight in. I hate Alison’s top. Hate it. The two above the weight in are guaranteed in the finale. The two below are up to a vote. Our vote.

Michael – 23 – 7.14% Fantastic! He’s out of the 300’s and he’s lost 23 pounds at home by himself.
Koli – 13 – 5.63%
Ashley – 18 – 7.79% Well done girl! 
(I’m dreading this… the teaser last week showed us that someone gained 2 pounds.)
Daris – +2 – Sad to see him struggle. I don’t know what’s going on with him but it breaks my heart.

So Ashley and Michael are in the finale for sure! Daris and Koli are against each other to fight for the last spot.

(My husband and my dog are wrestling on the floor. I have the worst heartburn EVER. It’s 9:00pm and I’ve had heartburn a total of about 9 hours today. Your prayers would be appreciated. Seriously)

There really isn’t a bad vote here, either are a great choice. My vote is for Daris. I’ve loved him from the beginning. He’s struggling, yes. But I’d love to see him as a finalist. Anyways, CLICK HERE to go vote. And leave me a comment to tell me who you’re voting for.

May 19, 2010 at 8:26 am 14 comments

Loser 9.17: I Will Do Everything to Make You Proud

What have you done today to make you feel proud? I’m watching the intro… remember Miggy and Migdalia? They were a fun bunch.

There’s talk about what just happened. (Remember Sam got voted off over Mike.) Mike, Daris, and Ashley are on one “team” and Koli and Sunshine are on another “team.” Sunshine said the word “processeses.”

(I bet that no less than 25 people will google “Are Sunshine and Koli dating?” and end up here. Your answer: I have no idea and I highly doubt it.)

Alison greets the contestants and announces that there will be no yellow line, only a red line. Which screws over the team of three. I think this is an NBC ploy to make sure precious Sunshine is in the finale.

VOMIT HELEN. In case you weren’t watching back then, let me brief you. All you need to know is this: she sent her daughter home instead of sacrificing herself. Wrong wrong wrong. Blech. She was not my favorite BL contestant. For the record, here are my top 5 least faves: Vicky, Heba, Helen, Joelle, and the Miggy/Migdalia combo.

Eric from season 3 came back. I didn’t watch back then. Apparently he’s gained most of his weight back. 

I almost want to mute the television so I don’t have to hear Helen talk. Oh good, on to Daris. He is learning that he loves himself. Atta boy! Daris, I don’t think  you’re going to have any problem meeting ladies. Just do something different with your hair. That dude in LA was an idiot.

How many times has Koli said that he’s “in” the finale. Yes, I think he’s a great competitor and he’s most likely going to make it. But hasn’t he ever seen this show? Crazier things have happened. At this stage, all of the competitors have the ability to drop good numbers… and they all have the ability to choke.

Michael just breaks my heart. I wish he could be proud of what he’s done without constantly facing what he’s got ahead of him. OH PLEASE HELEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She walked over to Mike as he was crying to hug him. She apologized for hugging him…”I’m a mom!!!” Ugh. Mom, go hug your daughter. No, I’m not still bitter… why do you ask?

Bob and Jillian meet the contestants in the gym with some bum-bum-bum music in the background. They talk about the tension in the room and the red line. Koli cussed. Don’t say there is no animosity and then drop the f-bomb. NOT CONVINCING. I don’t really like this angry side of him.

Michael is about to have his breakdown. Oh I just feel awful for him. I can sit here and say “Chin up! You’ve done a great job” all day but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s still overweight and he feels awful. Once again, he’s surrounded by skinny people. And what’s worse, he’s at a place where he shouldn’t have to feel those insecurities. So he storms off, throwing things and punching things and screaming. He says he’s not having fun and this is hard and awful. He went on makeover week and had to shop at a fat guy shop. OH I HURT FOR HIM. (Oh my gosh I love this show.) He had a good scream and they chatted a bit. I hope he sees what we see. He’s decided it’s time to go back in a give it another shot. ATTA BOY!

The only thing people are talking about is the finale. My guess is that someone stresses so much this week that their weight-loss suffers.

CHALLENGE TIME! I’m so glad Daris is wearing that thing on his head, he looks so much better. It’s an old put-the-weight-back-on challenge. They have a bag with all of their weight, after climbing each hill, they’ll drop the weight for that corresponding week. Winner gets $10K.

“Man I was fat. I can’t believe how fat I was!” Koli said when he saw the giant picture of his old body. They begin the challege and Daris starts off ahead. I hope  he wins. He looks SO skinny in this challenge. What’s crazy is that the people can’t even pick up the bags that contain their old weight. Michael can’t even get the bag off the ground. Ashley has to grunt and groan her way up a hill. YAY DARIS WINS!!!!  “I got rid of a bag but maybe I got rid of a bit of baggage.” Ashley and Michael are working together to get their bags up the hill. Daris, Sunshine, and Koli came back to help. Michael and Ashley held hands… which probably means that people will also google “Are Michael and Ashley dating?” Once again, I don’t know. And I doubt it.

We learn that Daris beat Tara’s time by 10 minutes. TEN MINUTES. Tara was a robot. He is also presented with the option to give up the $10K in favor of a one pound advantage. Of course he went for the one pound. Which usually means that he won’t need it.

Jennie O Turkey. Ugh. Bob wants to take everyone somewhere. Shopping. I smell a product plug. Danskin, Starter, are they at Walmart? Tony Romo is there. Y’all, don’t hate me but I totally wouldn’t have recognized him. Oh yeah.. I was right. Danskin and Starter. They all go running up a mountain. That was short and quick and anticlimactic. Everyone gather for a pep talk from Tony.

And now it’s the look-where-you-came-from video time. This is always so cool to see. Again with the Daris “make you proud” speech. He’s crying!!! So cool Daris. He is seriously so skinny!! Sunshine is next. Crying from the get-go. She looks so different. It’s so amazing how much faces change when they lose so much weight. (Couldn’t the spring for a box of Kleenex for these people????)

Now Koli. He was so round when he started. Crying! 3 for 3. He gave himself a great pep talk. UGH, another Despicable Me commercial. This is seriously foolish. If I were rich, I would give a lot of money to Biggest Loser so that they’d never have another commercial or cheesy product placement segment again.

Ashley’s turn. She’s not crying, yet. Oh now she is. She has come so far. I always forget how big she was. She’s so beautiful. Her hair and her smile are awesome. And now Mike’s turn. He used to talk different, stand different, everything about him was different. Including his hair, thank God. Man, his clips are the best. He has had so many accomplishments these past 16 weeks. “You can see the pain in my eyes.” Y’all, I know I’ve said this before but he has grown up. He looks fantastic.

What better way to follow that up than with a trip to Subway. This time they’ll have breakfast. And they’ll get a sub to take back with them for lunch. “Go get your $5 footlong.” Blah.

Dr. H visits again. This episode seems long. Michael went from age 54 to 38 in 16 weeks. Know Your Number!

(I’m currently having THE WORST heartburn of my life.)

Last chance workout. They are killing it on the treadmill. To all of you Googlers, the song playing in the back ground is “Walk on the Water” by Britt Nicole. They played it in an earlier episode too, I think it was the one they went home for a week. This is the softest looking last chance workout because they aren’t showing us the nasty. Just the inspiring. Sunshine even started crying because she’s so happy. How could you not love this show??

(Alison is in a Zyrtec commercial… did y’all see that?)

Weigh In. Remember that there is only a red line so the person with the lowest percentage goes home. The person with the highest percentage this week gets to have Curtis Stone to their house for a lesson.

Mike – 12 – 3.59% Must’ve been because Bob was crossing his fingers.
Koli – 13 – 5.33% Didn’t see that coming. That’s a huge number.
Daris – 10 – 5.37% Below the 200 mark! And his % was huge because he also had the one pound advantage.
Ashley – 7 – 2.94% Most weight lost by a woman on campus!
(I’m sweating this out big time. TOO MUCH STRESS!)
Sunshine – 2 -1.12 % YES! Sorry Sunshine. Someone has to lose and I’m just realllly glad it’s not Ashley. You have confidence, Ashley needs this.

Sunshine goes home to a gym full of people. Cute little dress with a yellow sash. Nice team color representation. OH COOL! She gets to throw out the first pitch at a Twins game. Not that I like the Twins or anything, but how cool! I can appreciate the magnitude of something like that. They didn’t even give her a player to throw to? She had to throw to the mascot?? Come on Twins!

Two episodes left. Next week: The final 4 go home for 30 days and then have a weigh in to see how makes it. Someone gains 2 pounds. That’s not okay. TWO MORE WEEKS.

May 12, 2010 at 7:44 am 8 comments


Let’s all focus on Sunshine and O’Neal one last time so we can get it all out of our system. Hopefully.

Alison showed up while the contestants were eating Multi Grain Cheerios outside on the patio. Puh-lease. She announces that it’s makeover week and they are THRILLED. We are all thrilled. This is the best week of the season. They each get $1000 to go shopping.

The contestants go shopping by themselves. Usually Tim Gunn is there to help. Now they are all by themselves. I wonder if someone will show up. They are all going through some shock as they figure out how to dress. Daris, “I used to buy my jeans at the farm supply store, right by the tarps, there were my jeans.” Not anymore!!

Mike is still at a big and tall store. It’s so sad that he has to do that even after losing 183 pounds. Chin up Michael, we’re all proud of you!!

So I just got back from a potty break and Stephen’s updating me. “Hello my name is Anthony or John Antin and I’m the head judge on Bravo’s show blahblahblah.” So yeah. I think we’re also having a Locks of Love commercial. Hey, of all commercials, that’s a good one to have. I think I may be the only one in the world that actually likes Daris’ curls. And now they are gone.

Sunshine has her reveal first. She has Tyra hair. She looks great, minus the Tyra stuff. Her brothers showed up to see her. They are both so skinny.

Koli is next. It’s amazing to see his before pictures. Reveal. Soul patch. I’m not a fan of soul patches but okay. He’s wearing thick black glasses but it’s kind of cute. He look great.  He’s crying, I love that.

Now Ashley. She still has a ways to go but, wow, she looks so much better! She has great hair. Her sisters came and they screamed a lot and touched her collarbones. I love seeing her so excited.

Sam is up. They gave him a goatee. I liked it for a second until I thought he might pull out his gun and kill me. I’m not sure yet. Maybe if he keeps smiling. He’s normal sized, it’s nuts!

Daris’ turn. WHOA. He looks soooo different. Stephen hates it. I’m not sure about the hair yet, we’ll see how he does it on his own. He looks soooo great, so healthy. You can really see his smile now. He has a pair of 34 jeans! Thoroughly impressed.

Mikey! YAY! His hair looks great!! His facial hair is actually great. He looks fantastic. Fantastic. I think we need subtitles to understand him and his sisters freak out… or maybe my dog can decode it. His sister wants to change now. He has dimples!! Are these thoughts scattered enough??

The players take their guests to the “concert” that doesn’t appear to be a concert. Oh I guess it is. Ashanti is going to sing to them. AWKWARD. She has a microphone and there are only like 20 people there. This is like on your birthday when the whole room is singing happy birthday to you and you don’t know where to look or what to do. I do not like this. I like the clips between the singing, it’s so cool to see where they’ve come from. I think they showed the clip of Daris in the gym saying, “I will do everything to make you proud” about 17 times this season. Sam and Daris are officially to the point in their weight-loss where their “before” photos make them look swollen, like they were stung by a bee. Sunshine too. By the finale, they’ll all look like that.

(Wow. The first commercial during the commercial break is a perfume one with Keira Knightley. She is a freaking stick. Too skinny honey!)

Challenge time. There is a jacob’s ladder over the pool. Awesome. “You all made a splash at the makeovers.” Someone please work on Alison’s lines. CHEESE BALLS. The one who stays on the longest wins a one pound advantage, the first to fall in gets a one pound disadvantage.

Oh look, Daris’ hair is all curly again. Ashley is the first in the water after only 3 minutes. Ashley, you could do better. Mike is in second. They are at 45 minutes and Sunshine falls in. Now it’s between Sam, Koli, and Daris. Sam is done. Sheesh, they’ve been on for one hour! One hour, and Ashley lasted 3 minutes! Daris is daydreaming. My goodness, they must be bored. Daris apparently needs to pee. Two hours! Look what happens when you do something for yourself, Koli. You kick butt. Daris fell in at 2.5 hours. Man! Oh well, I’m proud of Koli. Rather him than Sam.

Eww, Bob called Daris Lyle Lovett. NOT A COMPLIMENT. Yeah, his hair is not okay. This is why I liked his long curly hair. With those tight curls, there’s no other option. They discussed the challenge and Daris shed a few tears. He knew he gave up. He knew he was capable of going on. So basically he still needs to work some mental things.

WHAT?? This Despicable Me commercial? Biggest Loser, you’ve hit an all-time low. Your expenses on the show can’t be SO high that you have to sell all this product placement and awkward advertising. UGH. Vomit.

Walgreens Athletic Tape. ENOUGH.

Last chance workout. Jillian focuses on Ashley because of her one pound disadvantage. Bob focuses on Daris. They need to talk this out. Bob had some words, Daris had some tears. It always makes me nervous when they jump over things. Bob makes him do those squat/sit things to show him what he’s capable of. BRUTAL. He did this after all the jumping and serious working out. “Jillian and I could not do this last chance workout.” Man alive, I don’t know how his legs weren’t shaking like Jello! And now he has to run. Beast. Sam, be scared. Whoa, he just flew off the treadmill, stood up and ran back on. Well done Daris! Now if only someone could figure out how to come put your hair back on!

Weigh in time! Look how skinny Alison is and she’s had two babies. What do you think about that, Jillian?

Koli- 15 – 6.18% That’s HUGE!
Mike – 9 – 2.62% Sounds good, but not great after Koli’s 15!
Daris – 9 – 4.21% He’s 205, 9 pounds is huge.
Sunshine – 9 – 4.81% How is this happening??
Sam – 2 – .83% Yikes. Expected. He’s got nothing left to lose. And he’s gaining muscle.
Ashley – 10 – 3.63% Well done, girl.

So Michael and Sam are below the yellow line. I’m REALLY hoping that they keep Michael. Sam is done. He can’t win, he can go home and be just fine. Michael still needs this for his pride. He needs a week or two with the trainers. Michael is all tears during his plea. I’m hoping these guys don’t start the gameplay now.

Koli voted for Michael. Sunshine voted for Michael because he’s a threat. Ashley voted for Sam. Daris voted for Sam. Which means a tie. Since Sam had the lowest percentage, he’s going home. Sad to see you go, Sam. I like you. You were a great competitor and a stand-up guy. But you’re okay. You’re ready to be home.

Sam gave a fantastic speech to Koli. What great guys. What if all families treated each other like that?? That would be refreshing.

372 to 236. He hit his goal weight on campus so he’s not trying to lose anymore weight. He moved to LA and lives with Stephanie. They look happy and healthy.

Next week: Michael has a meltdown because he’s still fat. An old contestant comes back to show how he’s gained all his weight back. And we see that the one person below the yellow line automatically goes home. Yikes!

May 5, 2010 at 8:33 am 11 comments

Loser 9.15: Cue “Everything Is Bigger In Texas” Puns

The Loser contestants are going to Texas… home of 5 of the 10 fattest cities in America. Awesome. Alison is wearing another red jacket, which means I’ll get another 60 million hits this week from people googling the jacket to figure out where it’s from. I really think NBC needs to start giving me this info so people can get some answers when they come here!

A bunch of clips of the contestants doing radio segments. Not too interesting. Maybe because I don’t want them to keep talking about fat Texas. I love me some Texas and I want you all to know that there is a lot more to this state than fat people. Like… we have good food. Oh wait…

Walgreens commercial. REALLY???

Radio listeners get to win a chance to run with the contestants. I remember when this was going on. I texted my SIL to try to go win. She was busy that morning, sadly. I’m seeing that the majority of the people who have won tickets are not obese. They are all teamed up with a contestant and they are wearing their colors. Daris told his team that he’s going to finish the race and then come back and finish it with them. Mike is taking a different approach. He said she isn’t going to leave anyone behind, he’s spent his whole life being left behind. Normally I’d say that he was being lazy, but I think that’s old Mike, not new Mike. I think new Mike is all about inspiring people.

I’m loving that guy in the yellow shirt. He’s lost 65 pounds in 9 months on his own… all because Mike from last season inspired him. Love Mike!

O’Neal cried with a girl. No surprise. O’Neal does that a lot.

I’m kind of bored with this. Anyone else? Seriously. I have nothing to report except “mobs of people are either running or walking. Some have never run before. Some cry. Some hug. All are excited and have Texas on their shirt. The end.”

I did love seeing that last lady finish. I don’t care who you are, you’ve gotta be proud of finishing a 5K. ESPECIALLY if you haven’t even jogged in decades. “I can’t even walk through Walmart, I have to take a cart. And I just walked a 5K!” Hopefully this means there’s one less slow-moving cart in the aisles of Walmart.

Inspiring, yes. Blog worthy. not so much.

Bob shows up at 24 Hour Fitness to train random people. (Just a thought, if you want to make Texas lose weight, grab the people from McDonald’s, not the gym. Yes?) He also teaches a spin class and then hosts a Q&A where he tells people to get the Biggest Loser app on their Verizon phone.

Mike, Ashley, and Daris are tres amigos. They’re buds. They decide to do stairs together to get a workout in. They are staying at the W Hotel but don’t have a gym? Not likely.

Challenge time. Of course they are wearing cowboy hats because they are in Texas. We always wear cowboy hats here in Texas. I immediately received a text from my SIL that said, “Oh hell no!” I laughed. Alison talks about how tough Texans are (thank you) and how we having a saying that sometimes you have to just grab the bull by the horns (yes, we do have that saying). This challenge involves grabbing the bull by the horns. “Ohhh hell no,” says Mike. We agree Mike. Actually no bulls, just calves. The contestant with the most calves in their pin wins immunity this week. Awesome. I LOVE calf scrambles. They make people look so awkward!

Here we go. Oh lookie there, it’s not quite so easy. I forsee a lot of dirt in the teeth. Hey Mike, calves aren’t puppies…  you can’t lure them with high voices. O’Neal is seriously taking nose dives into the ground. Not so smart, my friend. Sam is putting calves into Koli’s pin since Koli helped Sam last week. That’s nice. Mike decides to help Daris since they are BFF and he’s hoping it’ll keep him safe. I am totally pulling for Daris!

Comes down to the last few seconds, Koli won.

YAY ABBY! Jillian went to some high school to chat with some kids and visit Abby. Abby is wearing a super cute necklace. And there is some major feedback on Jillian’s mic. My heart is breaking for this overweight girl. I want to hug her and tell her that teenagers are jerks. I hope she changes her life. Life is too short to be unhappy.

The yellow team left for O’Neal’s brother’s funeral so they weren’t around for the last chance workout. Doing sprints on a treadmill makes me nervous. Not that I’ve actually ever done it or anything…. I just mean that watching them do it makes me nervous. The workout was otherwise uneventful. Mike has a minor freakout in which he told Bob to leave him alone. Bob cussed at him and said he’ll never leave him alone and to never say that to him again. Never really seen Bob get mad before.

Weigh In. OUTSIDE in downtown Dallas. Keep in mind that this was filmed months ago so it was 34 degrees. Really Loser? Is it necessary to make these people stand outside just so you can have a nice camera shot? Cruel. They are hardly wearing any clothes!

Koli: 1
Sam: 6 – 2.44%
Sunshine: 4 – 2.09%
O’Neal: 5 – 1.85%
Mike: 15 – 4.19% WHOOO HOOO! Amazing! (Really hoping next week is makeover week, his hair needs some help!)
Daris: 5 – 2.28% Have I mentioned how much I love him?
Ashley: 6 – 2.36%

Oh no… the end of the world is upon us. Sunshine and O’Neal are both below the yellow line. Sunshine is crying like someone has told her that one of them has to die. SETTLE DOWN LADY. And now Alison is going to leave them here in the cold to chat about it for an hour. Does nobody give these people Kleenex? They are cold and crying. SNOT CITY.

Stephen and I are discussing how cohesive this group is. There’s no petty game play. These people care about each other and care about their well-being. We like that.

So now O’Neal is gone. I like him but I’m not torn up about it. I’m hoping this means we’ll have less sappy father/daughter tears. He went from 389 to 250. He’s continued to lose weight at home and can put on his own shoes. All of these before/after comparisons are amazing. He’s lost a ton of weight!!

Next week: MAKEOVER WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!! Tha best week EVER. I can’t wait!

April 28, 2010 at 8:20 am 13 comments

Loser 9.14: Smells Like Fat

I’m watching in real time tonight which is something I haven’t done in about 11 years. And I just polished off a plate of homemade beef fajita nachos. I made sure to finish before the show started. For two reasons really: 1) I don’t want to get sour cream on my keyboard and 2) I think Jillian can see me through the television.

Let’s get started!

Beautiful Alison Sweeney shows up to announce the temptation. “Ohhhh no.” The kitchen is closed and all meals (only during that day, dumb) will be eaten in this room upstairs. There’s healthy food and not-so-healthy food (aka: Food Chelsea Eats). Whoever eats the most calories at the end of the day gets the only vote. Sam and Koli decide that Koli is going to go for it. Sam thinks he’ll fall below the yellow line and he wants Koli to save him. Selfish much? “Real bacon. None of that turkey bacon.” Think they lost their Jennie-O sponsorship?

So far the only one eating a lot is Koli. Mike seems to be trying to trick Victoria into thinking he ate a lot.

Koli is eating A LOT. He had over 2000 for lunch alone. He’s not going to be happy when two nice people go below the yellow line and he has to be the bad guy. Haven’t you ever watched The Biggest Loser, Koli??? Bob and Jillian are going to be so mad at you and then the rest of the house is going to be mad at you. You could have at least avoided the chili dogs. Gross.

 Koli had 4164 calories. Ummm ewww. Did you see how he measured his ketchup in a measuring spoon?

Okay y’all, Mike is like a completely different guy. He’s like a grown up. He’s mature and funny. I really like him now. I’m really proud of him.

Okay so I’m not so mad at Koli right now. I love that he and Sam are working out in the middle of the night. He’s not about evil game play, he’s just about staying in the game. And that’s okay. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t thrive on power. He’s just a good guy. (I think.) I just hope that Sam doesn’t throw the weigh-in. THAT is malicious.

Here come Bob and Jillian. $20 say that they aren’t going to be on board with this. Oh yes, I’m right. Jillian is disgusted. Disgusted. Disgusted. But that’s okay because it’s time to work out. HOLT COW! Bob is punching Daris in the stomach while he’s holding weights above his head. He’s a beast.

Ashley is having a breakdown because she’s all alone now that Andrea is gone. It’s not easy for girls to be alone. It makes us sad.

Dr. H is back. Time to revisit the Know Your Number age thingy. This is always really boring for me. It’s cool because it’s showing that their bodies are truly changing for the better… that the work actually pays off. Strider bike thingy.

Challenge time! I love challenges! Especially when they involve bizarre cranes and cables. They have building blocks that they have to stack in order to get high enough to reach . The winner gets a one pond advantage. The last one gets a 1 pound disadvantage. Mike decides to give Ashley some pointers… turns out, his pointers aren’t great. It was a nice thought though. Mike is being an engineer and making a permanent structure! It’s neck and neck between Daris and Sam. GO DARIS! I’d like Daris to get more screen time. This season is all about gray and yellow. And he made it! Whoo hoo! So Daris gets a one pound advantage.

Victoria knocked half of her structure over and thought she was going to die. Yeah, no. You have ropes attached to you and 16 millions crew members standing around. YOU’RE FINE. O’Neal fell as he was trying to get down his structure. Everyone freaked out like he was paralyzed. Sheesh people, settle down.

Ashley looks like she is about to have a commercial. Something NEW in the house! How convenient. Yoplait Greek Yogurt. 14 grams of protein!!

O’Neal is back, nothing is broken. But something about bones and calcium and nerve pain. And luckily he has a Walgreens ice pack for his knee.

To the beach!! Gabriel Reece is there to work out with them and to advertise Starter. UGH! ENOUGH WITH THE ADS! So they run a bit and then play in the water. Booooring.

Back from commercial break and we learn that this one of the worst week’s of O’Neal’s life. His brother died. We knew this was coming so I’m not shocked. Very very sad still. He’s crushed, which is totally understandable. Jillian is making his box. They always do that to the most emotional person. He had a bit of a meltdown and started punching a machine. Then he went for a walk and cried some more. It’s not an easy thing to watch, but it’s life.

Weigh in time. Oh Ali, you’re cute.

Koli- 10 – 3.7% WOWZA! Not bad!!
Daris- 7 – 3.54% My fave.
Mike – 5 – 1.38% Not so bueno.
Ashley – 4 – 1.55% Ouchie! I hope it’s not Mike and Ashley…
Sam – 6 – 2.38% Well done.
Victoria – 1 – .37% And you’re going home.
O’Neal – 8 – 2.52% How in the WORLD??
Sunshine – 1 – .52% Well that’s not fun.

So it’s between Sunshine and Victoria, and it’s all up to Koli. Well OF COURSE it’s going to be Victoria going home. Koli is in love with O’Neal, he’d never do that to him. Plus, he just talked about how Victoria needs to step it up and work out like she really wants to be here. I only wonder what he’s going to say in his schpeal. Didn’t look like the girls said anything to Koli to fight for their spots. I wonder if they did but didn’t show it.

He voted Victoria off. He didn’t preface it with much of anything but he said that she needs to push. She needs to step it up. I agree, she does not.

Victoria is back in H-Town. (That means Houston.) Her momma is looking good! She went from 358 to 240, she looks great. Last week they didn’t show Andrea’s current weight… I wonder why. Ugh, really? A 24 Hour Fitness commercial! This Where She Is Now segment seems to be all about her mom. Weird. But I’m proud of her mom.

Next Week: The contestants are going to TEXAS. Yee Haw.

Otherwise, the last chance workout is uneventful.

April 21, 2010 at 8:00 am 9 comments

Loser 9.13: With A Big ‘Ol Afro On His Head

Hi, my name is Chelsea and I write Biggest Loser recaps. You may not know that about me because I’ve been MIA the past two Wednesdays, but I’m back. With my very own version of a recap… as Lauren calls it, my little episode of Chelsea Hurstly.

Off to a quick start. Alison immediately grabs the contestants from breakfast for a Change Themed pop challenge. The contestants will be holding a tray and balancing quarters. Each quarter is worth $10 and the winner keeps the money. This clearly has nothing to do with weight loss so we will have a very not-so-smooth transition to Suze Orman. By the end of this challenge, the contestants are seriously sweating and shaking. Mike and Sunshine are battling to the end. Mike ended up winning $1000 which they doubled because he gave 100%. They gave Sunshine $1000 because she also gave 100%.

They went to the living room and met Suze Orman , the original carrier of the Kate Gosslin hair-do. She talked about how… actually I don’t know… I was eating Easy Mac and forgot to listen. Last seasons’s Danny came to talk to them. Boy howdy, that man is good looking!! They chatted a bit and projected Sunshine to win the game.

Danny joined the group for a work out. I LOVED seeing Danny’s face in the background when Bob was giving Daris a pep talk. It looked like he was going to pass out. Koli and Sunshine worked out together and talked a bit of smack. “I didn’t know they did that for the at home winner.” Ha, Sunshine. You made me laugh. Victoria had a bit of a breakdown. She’s behind everyone else and is having a hard time adjusting. Jillian yelled at her a lot and then tried to have a shrink-session. It didn’t help. Victoria didn’t have any ah-ha moments. It’ll come eventually, it has to.

Sam and Victoria have a chat about figuring out the mental part of this. You cannot lose weight and keep it off without knowing why it was there in the first place. THIS IS A HUGE LESSON.

It’s raining and Ali looked so cute in her red jacket, cute hat, pigtails, and Burberry umbrella. ALI, how do you do that??? Granted you have hair and make up people… but I’m certain that no amount of hair and make up people could make me that cute all the time. Not all of us can be Alison Sweeney or Lauren From Texas (<– that’s a link).

There’s a challenge and two people will win a Mazda 3. They have to run out in the rain and mud and grab a key from the string of a giant balloon (can’t make this stuff up) and run back to test it. Repeat repeat. There are 150 keys out there, only 2 work. They are getting in the car while they are sweaty, muddy, rainy, and nasty. That’s gross. Although they aren’t actually wet when they get in the car from the view of the car camera. What is going on with this weird trickery??? Andrea won the first car! Yay for her! I’d be happy for anyone right now. Although I’m sort of tired of the “I love Sunshine more than life itself” crap. You love your daughter, I get it. But I don’t need to hear about it all the time. Anyways, maybe Daris will get the other, I love him. 40 keys left, 30 keys left…. and then O’Neal wins it…. naturally. So of course that means it belongs to Sunshine.


On to the workout. Andrea and Bob have a chat. Lots of mention of being deserving love and touching and hugs… which means approximately 17,000 people will google things like “Is Andrea dating someone?” “Andrea and Koli” “Andrea and Daris” “Andrea and Mike” “Andrea and who the heck?” Victoria had to run sprints again. She had to run 5 springs with each contestant. She whined her way through it but man alive, she may have killed with weight loss this week! I love that Andrea said, “Pick your head up, finish with pride!” Jillian tried again to get her to break down. She’s started. There were a few tears and even a mention of being “not goo enough” – which is usually where it starts.

Work out in the mud. I remember seeing pictures of this on Bob and Jillian’s twitter. Lots and lots of mud. Rubbed in Jillian’s hair. Loved it.

Last chance workout. Jillian beat up on Sunshine, Koli, and Sam. They didn’t care or complain at all. That’s what makes them winners. “BOB! I just jogged a whole mile and didn’t slow down at all!! I’VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE!!” Mike is hilarious. Bob replies, “Good! Do it again.” So he does. With a smile on his face. And then he kept going to 3.1, he did a 5K. So Bob told him to keep going, he needed to get to 5 miles. Totally impressed y’all. I can’t run a mile. (Even pre-pregnancy, sadly.) Mike has really come a long way. HE is why I love this show! It just gives me happy feelings inside!

Weigh In Time! Alison is in a brown dress that is not my favorite.

Sunshine – 3  – 1.54% Not good, not good at all.
Koli – 6 – 2.17%
Daris – 7 – 3.00% Whoo hoo! Yay Daris!
Mike – 9 – 2.42% Fantabulous change! But EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Hair in a ponytail! EWWW.
Ashley – 6 – 2.27% Good for her, stop showing Sunshine.
Victoria – 5 – 1.84% Good, not great. Not enough to be safe.
O’Neal – 5 – 1.77% At some point, dude, you need to wish good things for yourself. You can’t always be your daughter’s hero.
Andrea – 3 – 1.33% Super suck. I feel awful for her. Awful.
Sam – 0 – GASP! Whoa whoa whoa. He had a great attitude, but whoa.

They say their pieces. Andrea needs to be here still. Sam has lost a ton of weight and he doesn’t need to stay. Of course neither want to leave, but if we talk about NEED instead WANT, Andrea should be there. “I have nothing bad to say about Drea. I will not choose that route. I will not choose that Melissa route.” HA. She’s gone and she’s still got a bad name in the house.

Elimination: Sunshine votes for Drea. Ashley votes for Sam. Victoria voted for Drea. Koli voted for Drea. Mike voted for Drea. Drea got voted off. Which is sad, I do like her.

She goes home in her NEW CAR. She’s so pretty. YAY Drea! She lost 76 pounds on the ranch. It didn’t say how much she’s lost up until this point- I suppose that’s because they are getting close to the finale.

Next week on Loser: O’Neal’s brother died (I remember reading that on Twitter too) and there is a serious temptation. Whoever eats the most calories casts the only vote at this week’s weigh in.

That’s all she wrote.

April 14, 2010 at 8:21 am 9 comments

Loser 9.12: Grab a mattress and jump in the tub!

Hey y’all, Lauren From Texas again. Chelsea asked me to fill in this week because she had a meeting. And since she’s growing a human & all, I complied. You don’t mess with the pregnant ladies.

Alright, we’re back. Victoria is all THAT WAS THE WORST THING EVER re: the elimination. Everyone else is cold-hearted, most of all Melissa. “These people are still not in gameplay!” She thinks they should’ve eliminated Sam because they had more of a chance to beat Stephanie. Good reasoning, I suppose, but Sam is a morale booster, which is also important. Who knows what these people are thinking. They have to deal with Jillian for hours a day & they haven’t had ice cream in weeks. It’s not like they’re thinking clearly.

Everyone meets in the gym. Ali says that the first person to lose 2% of their body weight wins immunity. There’s a button, and when you press the button, a siren goes off & you weigh in. You can weigh yourself at any time, but you can only weigh yourself once. If you haven’t met your goal, you don’t get to weigh in again, & you’ve lost your chance at immunity. Only one person can win.

“If you hear a siren like that in Oklahoma, you’ve gotta grab a mattress and jump in the tub because a tornado is comin’!” -Daris

Ali hands out cards that say how much weight they need to lose. Then Bob & Jillian walk in. I LOVE (and by love I mean am annoyed by) how Bob & Jillian act SO surprised when the players tell them what’s up.

Work out time. Jillian starts focusing in on Sunshine, and owwwww. Those jumps look painful. Kind of like the rockstar jumps I just finished (I’m on Day 29 of the Shred, by the way, & could not be happier that it’s almost over!). Bob & Melissa start talking, and Melissa makes it clear she’s all about the game. Bob basically tells her to play the game but also work her tail off. Whatever Bob. There’s no saving her.

Now they’re all gathered together in the living room & the weird doctor with the curly mullet comes in to talk to them about burning fat “the right way.” Now Jillian has everyone on bikes & Sam & Koli are talking about pushing the button. “Not yet, not yet!” Then Sam says he hates yellow lines & wants to rip the yellow line off his shirt. Um, dramatic much?

Now Ashley & Drea are conspiring/whispering. I DO NOT like the cattiness. Ashley, did you learn nothing last week?! Focus on yourself.Work your tail off & you won’t have to worry about immunity or “the game.” That’s my theory anyway. Everyone is debating about when they’re going to push the button.

Uh oh! Victoria pushed the button! Call me cynical, but I just don’t think she’s lost 6 lbs. yet. It’s a very dramatic weigh-in, complete with a commercial break right in the middle. She only lost 3 lbs. Poor thing. I don’t think she’s been there long enough to understand how this all works. Melissa is SO evil. Shut your mouth woman. No one wants to hear you talk.

Cut to Ali wearing the CUTEST dark pink coat & black headband. At the bottom of the swimming pool, there are 1 lb. weights, 100 for each player. They have to go to the bottom of the pool & bring up their weights, 2 at a time. The prize is the Biggest Loser vacation thing at the Biggest Loser resort or whatever. Also, the last person gets a 1 lb. disadvantage.

I love Sunshine. “Look at us. 12 weeks ago we couldn’t have done this. Now we’re athletes. We are swimming, & we look good doing it.”

Sunshine is ahead with Sam right behind. Sunshine wants to finish so she can help her dad. AWW. She finishes first & immediately starts helping her dad. Sam finishes, & asks Koli if he needs help, to which he replies “Help Unc” (meaning O’Neal). The friendships/relationships get me every time; it’s so touching when people are willing to help others instead of playing the game (COUGHMelissaCOUGH). Everyone starts helping everyone else as they finish, but no one helps Melissa. As Sam says, “That sends a clear message as to how the house feels.” Playing the game has its consequences. Learn it, woman.

Whoa, Ali has some serious roots. Get that taken care of, girl! It’s not like you don’t have people to do that for you.

Sam & Koli are talking about when they should push the button, & are determined to do it before Melissa. There’s a weird hidden camera & Melissa is reading a book or something & Sam & Koli are sneaking in a late night workout. Melissa plans to get up at 3am & 6am to work out. YUCKKKK. OK, everyone is eating breakfast… and someone hits the button. It’s Sam! Melissa is clearly pissed.

Here goes the scale. OMG. HE LOST NOT 6, NOT 7, BUT 10 POUNDS! Way to go Sam!

Melissa: “Should’ve been me.” Ooooof course it should have.

Jennie O commercial as Bob & Jillian play dumb again. They “fill them in” on Victoria & Sam’s button escapades & the pool game. Melissa is clearly pissed about her 1 lb. disadvantage. Bob: “This is what happens when you play the game.”

Bob corners Victoria & gives her a Fiber One commercial.

Last chance workout. I think I need a snack. Bob zeros in on Koli, Jillian on Daris. Speaking of Daris, when is makeover week? Because dude, I love ya, but the hair has GOT TO GO. Jillian takes Sunshine aside & starts doing her psychology voodoo on her. Jillian thinks Sunshine is overweight because she wants to be like her dad. “They can live a parallel life, they don’t have to be fused. She needs to stand on her own two feet.” I like that. Jillian, sometimes I really like you. And then, those other times, like every day for the last month, I kind of want to punch you. But that’s a different story.

Sunshine & her dad start talking. They’re crying, I’m crying, it’s sort of a waterworks. She’s basically telling him she can stand next to him instead of under him. She says “For the first time I see that I am beautiful. For the first time I can stand alone.” Her dad says “I wasn’t going to let you go until you knew that.”


::weeping intermission::

OK, that was very touching. On to the weigh-in.

Ali looks FABULOUS in a deep purple dress, ponytail, & dangling earrings. LOVE IT. Also her eye makeup is kind of to die for.

The weight loss is as follows:

Koli: -5 (Doesn’t look good for him, but we’ll see.)
Daris: -4 (Yikes! Whoa. Then he yells. I’d be worried too.)
Michael: -9 (Good for him! He also needs a haircut. Um. Then he flexes, asks Ali to touch his bicep, stops her, & says “didn’t your mom tell you not to play with guns?” CHEESE CITY.)
Ashley: -7 (Yeah girl! Pretty good. I hope this inspires her to cut the crap & work harder. She’s totally a cutie though.)
Sunshine: -7 (She looks SO good! I really like her.)
O’Neal: -8 (Wow! I’m glad he’s safe.)
Victoria: -11 (WHOA! Yeah girl! I’m proud of her. She really needs/wants to be there.)
Drea: -2 (She immediately gets panicked & starts crying. I do feel bad for her.)
Melissa: -3 (I LOVE Ali. “Just so you know the 1 lb. disadvantage didn’t matter, you still would’ve gone below the yellow line.”)

Drea asks Melissa to leave & gives a very touching “please don’t vote me off” speech. I’m betting they vote Melissa off. Just a hunch, but I think a lot of them like Drea, and oh, I don’t know, Melissa is PURE EVIL. Did she just say she’s a lawyer? She doesn’t mean literally, right? Now she is telling them she is their fairy godmother. She’s always going to be in the bottom 2 & week by week they can pick off whoever is down there with her. Uhh? I mean, I know that’s “playing the game,” but she just sounds like such a witch when she says it.

Elimination Room. Koli votes for Melissa. O’Neal votes for Melissa. Daris votes for Melissa. (I am loving what they are all saying, basically that they don’t want to play the game & they want to earn it by their own merit. Good for them!) Michael votes for Melissa. Victoria votes for Melissa. SHE GONE! No one stands up to hug her or tell her goodbye. Wow.

Then she & Lance run a half marathon on her 40th birthday (OK, that is pretty inspiring). Good for them. Now maybe she can quit being so evil.

Alright, that’s it! Hopefully Chelsea will be back next week because this is exhausting! I don’t know how she does it. Time for a popsicle.

April 7, 2010 at 8:04 am 10 comments

Loser 9.10: No One Cupcaked Koli

First, a few items of Biggest Loser business:

  • I have wondered for weeks why nobody brings Stephanie’s name up during elimination. It’s like she has some secret shield. Yesterday an article came out that she and Sam are dating and had their first kiss during week 3 on the ranch. So that would be her secret shield. I wonder if BL will keep trying to hide it from us or if they’ll start showing us little glimpses of their relationship! I just hope they aren’t gross like Rebecca and Daniel… she got kind of weird there at the end.
  • I may or may not know someone that has gotten two interviews with the people at BL to be on season 10. That’s all I’m saying.

On to the show! Players are going home for a week. This is usually a semi-interesting and semi-boring week. Fun to see the people at home with their families, but boring because there isn’t a whole lot going on.

Was that a Tempurpedic commercial?? “You know what they don’t have at home? My Tempurpedic bed!” “Oh Sunshine!”

Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant and Stephen’s not watching with me, but I’m totally crying at these homecomings. The Tongans are a crying bunch. They look like fun! Daris looks fan-freakin-tastic!! My heart is just breaking for Mike.

(I’m eating a salad and a drop of vinaigrette just flew in my eye… not kidding. It burns.)

There are giant boxes for each contestant. Inside is a stationary bike and a million packing peanuts. They also have a box of cupcakes. (Just so you know, I still don’t like Melissa.) The players have to bike a marathon, the winner wins $10,000. For each cupcake they eat, they can add 5 minutes to someone’s time. Lance starts eating and eating. Andrea starts eating and eating. (Andrea is eating against her team… what’s up with that???) Mike eats a few too. And by a few, I mean 6.

The contestants work out. 24 Hour Fitness… and oh lookie there, they are open past 7:00.  (Seriously with the eye burning!) Wii Biggest Loser. Oh the plugs! “I’ve always been a firm believer of pushing my body to the edge.” Really O’Neal? Really?? I’m calling your bluff on that one. You’re a contestant on the Biggest Loser, something tells me this is the first time you’ve pushed your body in quite some time.

I feel a food commercial going on. Come on Sam, show me what you’ve got. Oh yes, Biggest Loser app on your phone! And I’M SORRY but NO you don’t have to eat organic eggs. Maybe the daily biscuits and gravy should go, but regular eggs are just fine. And now of course we are viewing the obligatory trips to their favorite restaurants.

Wait a second? How does Daris already have a lady friend?? He JUST got home. He sure didn’t waste any time. Now I’m not saying that he isn’t cute, but that chick didn’t have a choice in the matter. If a dude on television asks you on a date, you go. I hope she really likes him because I’ll go kick her butt if she hurts that sweet boy! (Boy? He’s probably my age…)

Now it’s time for the bike race. The families are all on cell phones so they can keep tabs of the other contestants. Not posting throughout this, it’s too back and forth. Sam won, Koli got 2nd, Lance got third. Alison announced that there were 32 cupcakes eaten. Koli won!!!! Whoo hoo. So very very very glad it wasn’t Lance.

Last chance workout. Oh the sweet sweat and yelling. I love it. Oh and vomit! There hasn’t been vomit in a long time. Stephen can’t stop talking about how much Koli looks like Sam now. You can definitely tell that they are related. Lance is mentally off right now. I’d argue that he’s a bit “off” all the time but I think Bob is referring to another type of “off.” Bob gave him a good chat and got him back in the Biggest Loser mood.

Weigh in. Not my favorite Alison dress, but still cute. Hmm.. I don’t know. Mixed feelings.

Blue Team
O’Neal (7) – Seriously?
Sunshine (8) – Atta girl!
Lance (8) – SERIOUSLY? Man!
Michael (8) – He’s lost 137 pounds so far! SHEESH.
Koli (10) -Fantastic
Daris (4) – Not so good, dude.
TOTAL: 2.58%

Black Team
Andrea (6) – Good number.
Stephanie (9) – AMAZING!!!! So so proud of her.
Ashley (10) – Holy moly, the black team is on fire!
Sam (14) – Wowza!
TOTAL: 3.86%

Glad to see the black team win this one. I don’t have a favorite team but I didn’t want to see it so tilted. Sunshine has immunity so between all the dudes. My vote is obviously for Lance because I’m not his biggest fan. Or O’Neal because he’s hurt.  

Koli voted for Lance
Mike voted for Lance
Lance voted for Mike
O’Neal voted for Lance
Daris voted for Lance

Lance is gone. I’m not sad. I don’t care for his attitude. But I am proud of him for how much he lost while on the ranch.

He’s gone from 365 to 265! He’s looking really great. I like him more than his wife.

Next week people come back. Ugh… Melissa. UGH.

March 24, 2010 at 7:30 am 15 comments

Loser 9.06: Olympic Week So We Reward The Weakest Players?

It’s an Olympic themed week and the contestants are going to Colorado to the Olympic training facilities. It’s cold there. Oh lookie, they all have beanies!

There will be two eliminations this week. The person with the lowest weight loss goes home automatically, then the next two lowest go to the elimination room. Not fun at all.

Alison Jones met the contestants to challenge them. I had never heard of her (I haven’t heard of most Olympians) but she was born with one leg and medaled in multiple events. Pretty cool! Then they lit the torch and people cheered.  Melissa, I hate when people say “undescribable.” Just so you know. That’s not even a word! And Lance, being fat didn’t get you to the Olympics… it got you to the building. I’m here to educate, people.

The contestants met with the nutritionists at the Olympian cafeteria. “They’ll be eating what the athletes eat”… well, not ALL of them. You’ve heard of Michael Phelps, right? Pretty sure Jillian Michaels would spaz if her contestants ate that stuff. Luckily the nutritionists are talking about this with them. Extra Sugarfree Gum. I’M SORRY, NO! Gum is not better than chocolate cake. It will never replace chocolate cake. It will never make me want chocolate cake less. The end.

The gray Koli is having a hard time with John being gone. He doesn’t think he should be there over him. He doesn’t feel like he’s worth it. He had himself a good cry and realized that he’s scared of growth and doing something for himself. I really like him.

The contestants gathered with Bob and Jillian and two attractive athletes that I don’t know. Sorry y’all, I don’t do the Winter Olympics. It just looks so… cold. So anyways, these athletes held a workout for them. They did ladders, balance balls, hula hooping (what?), and boxing. Speedy said, “You’re an inspiration to me, you better be an inspiration to yourselves. ” Yes sir! Agree.

Pop challenge. Olympic hopeful, J.R. Celcsi (I think) came to give them a pep talk and show them his nasty scar. The challenge is a slide board something (can I understand anything they say tonight??) and they have to go back and forth 500 times. Apparently it feels a lot like ice which makes them fall and the camera shake. Nice effect BL. There are three winners in this challenge. Sam and Melissa were neck and neck until Melissa fell with 10 to go. It’s hard not to smile at that.  Sunshine got third, beating Lance by about 4. It’s hard not to smile at that too. Sorry red team, but you’ve done pissed us all off. They stood on podiums and got medals and really cheesed it up in full Loser fashion.

And now, challenge time with Kelly Underkofler who only has one arm. I HATE THIS KIND OF CHALLENGE. They shoot at other team’s targets and whenever your target is full, you’re out. DUMB. What does this prove?? When will they get rid of these types of games. You should win a challenge because you’re good, not because people hate you less. Sunshine got one extra shot, Melissa got two, and Sam got three. Sunshine shot Sam’s (dumb), Melissa shot Sam’s (dumb), so then OBVIOUSLY Sam shot both of them. Smart move girls. Everyone immediately started shooting at Lance and Melissa because they’re Texans and we know how to use a gun! Y’all I hate this challenge. I can’t even express it properly. Or maybe I can. THIS CHALLENGE IS RIDICULOUS AND I HATE IT! So basically it comes down to all the weakest links. Ashley, O’Neal, and Darrell. Literally came down to O’Neal and Darrell shooting at the same time. O’Neal won immunity.

Back in California. Working out at 24 Hour Fitness (commercial) with some Olympic ice skater dude with great hair. They did a boot camp class and then headed back to the gym for a last chance workout. Lots of sweat this week. Bob got O’Neal to balance on one of those wobbly things and do a couple squats. Incase you forgot, he has terrible knees. So he accomplished it and rejoiced. Good stuff!

On to the weigh in!  We’re at individuals this week. Remember there was a red line and a yellow line. And remember that they were travelling which throws everyone off.

O’Neal (8) – Immunity (maybe you should had a few sips of water before that weigh in)
Michael (11) – 2.48% (Lost 94 pounds, didn’t break the 100  pound record)
Stephanie (4) – 1.78%
Sunshine (6) – 2.45%
Koli (9) – 2.69% Whoo hoo! Safe!
Andrea (7) – 2.67%
Darrell (5) – 1.46%
Sam (12) – 3.87% Wowza!
Sherry (3) – 1.67%
Ashley (6) – 1.89%
Daris (9) – 3.18%% I’m ready for this fella to start talking!
Cheryl (3) – 1.55%
Miggy with new hair and emotions (7) – 3.40%
Lance (9) – 2.87% Ugh.
Melissa (PLUS 1) – Gone. I just can’t figure her out. Anyone have any theories??

Cheryl and Darrell are now going head to head in a competition to see who will go home. No vote. (Which I really like because 1) it’s rewarding the stronger player and 2) they are both lovable and that’s a hard vote.) Whoever balances the torch on their head while squatting the longest stays. Darrell has bad knees so my money is on Cheryl. Up to 6 minutes. AND TO BE CONTINUED. UGH! Didn’t see that coming.

Melissa at home… She started at 233 and is now at 175. She’s taken up boxing and for some reason, that doesn’t surprise me. She’s pretty vicious. Her son said that “She looks hot” to which Stephen said, “He’ll regret that comment in about 2 years.” She looks good but I still can’t figure her out. HOW did she gain a pound. Did she do it on purpose? What do y’all think??

Next week: Blue vs. Black and it causes drama. Naturally.Can’t wait! Also, does anyone know if it’s on at the normal time next week? They said something about “after the Olympics” but I don’t know what that means.

February 10, 2010 at 8:45 am 10 comments

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