It’s A Christmas Miracle!

I know I’m supposed to be posting the second half of my must-have baby items list today, but we need to put that on hold for a second. I don’t think you’ll mind. Read on…

So yesterday I raved about the Miracle Blanket. I wrote the post and then asked Stephen what he thought the must-have baby items were. His answer, “Definitely the Miracle Blanket!” I’m telling you, this thing is fantastic. So fantastic that we both see it as the #1 Must Have Baby Item. Jansen loves it, he sleeps through the night 99% of the time, and it keeps him warm without any suffocation risks. Seriously y’all, this thing is awesome.

Since so many of you clicked over to their website yesterday, they came to visit me. And by “they” I mean Mike Gatten, the inventor of the Miracle Blanket. See what happens when you click these links? You get rewarded! He wants to give one of you the Miracle Blanket of your choice!

They have several colors to choose from, click here to see the choices. I have a white one with teal trim and this blue one:

I know, I know. It doesn’t look like much. BUT IT IS MUCH!

We started using it when he was like 5 days old, he was teeny tiny. He was so tiny that it didn’t really work to stick his legs in the bottom pocket, so we used to wrap him like this:

So yeah, that’s not technically how you’re supposed to use it… and I’m sure the people at Miracle Blanket are kicking themselves for letting me promote their product. Whatever, it worked for us. Now that Jansen is bigger, we use it the right way.

If you’re curious about the product, watch this video from their website. It’s really not difficult, it takes us all of about 7 seconds to wrap Jansen up now.

Here are the details: one reader will win the Miracle Blanket of their choice. The giveaway begins now and it’ll close Monday evening at 7:00 Texas time. I’ll announce the winner on Tuesday. This is how you enter, each option is good for one entry:

-Leave a comment. Just tell me who you’d give the Miracle Blanket to if you won.
-Tweet about the giveaway. Include @rootsandrings and a link to my blog, then come back here and tell me you tweeted.
-Blog about the giveaway, then come back here and tell me you blogged.

Good luck!

Signed, Sealed and Delivered

Want to hear something embarrassing? We still have our Christmas decorations up. Want to hear something even worse? We still have a pumpkin on our porch. I hang my head in shame… but I also laugh a little. I like it. I think Christmas decorations should stay up as long as it stays cold, or at least until the end of January. They are just so fun. It’s depressing to take them down. The house looks plain and I can no longer pretend that it’s the holiday season. But the economics side of me recalls the Law of Diminishing Returns. At some point, those decorations aren’t going to make me happy anymore. So the moral of this story is: All good things must come to an end.

Our blogapalooza has reached that point. Sad day. I hope you’ve enjoyed it because I’m fresh out of giveaways for about 7 years.

For the final giveaway, I’m giving away something that I know many of you will be totally thrilled about. Our nature as bloggers and blog leaders is that we love to write. Our hearts flutter when we think about stationary. We get warm and fuzzy when we send mail. So here’s a perfect pair to your favorite set of crisp, personalized stationary.

Isn’t it glorious?? Custom address labels. So beautiful!

If elegant isn’t your thing, maybe you’ll like this one.

Do you love it? I’m partial to the first one but this one is super cute too! It reminds me of my friend, Lyndsey. She loves black and white with a pop of hot pink or turquise. And she’s wild. Wild like a zebra.

Want some of your own? AKM Designs is going to make that happen! She’s offered a set of custom address labels to a R&R reader. One set is 3 sheets of 30 labels. Since I’m a genious, I know that equals 90 labels. However, she’s given me the option to break it up. We could have 3 winners, each winning one sheet of 30 labels. Although I’m aware that 30 labels isn’t as cool as 90 labels, I also know that 3 winners is greater than 1 label.

So here’s the deal, I need your vote. You decide this one, folks.

Here’s how to enter:

-Leave a comment. Tell me why you love mail.
-Check out AKM Designs (<– link) and tell me your favorite item in her shop.
-Blog or tweet about the giveaway.
-Leave a question on yesterday’s post. If you’ve already left one, you will be counted.

Good luck! Whoever wins has to mail me a card. Because I said so.

This Post Is Brought To You By The Number 2

Not THAT number 2. Gross.  The actual number 2. Why?

Not because the Longhorns are number 2. No no no. Because we’ll have TWO winners this week. I love having TWO winners!! Will it be annoying if I write TWO in all caps every time I use it today? Let’s see.

So now that it is TWO thousand ten, everyone is in a big “out with the old, in with the new” mood. Me too. I mainly want to be out with the clutter in my house and in with a housekeeper. (Does anyone know a housekeeper in Houston that works for free? Or maybe for blog shoutouts. Or for food? I can provide food!)

You might be out with the fast food and in with the home-cookin’! Or out with the procrastinating and in with the Martha behaviors. Minus the whole insider trading and prison thing… let’s leave those in the past.

One thing I know is this… You need a calendar. How about a nice clean, decluttered, beautiful one:

Or maybe a cute one to put on your desk at work.

Aren’t they sweet?

And this is totally not what I’m supposed to be promoting, but just look at her stationary! Specifically these TWO.

 

I love many more than those TWO but I just needed a reason to say TWO.

(I think this is one of those instances where I think I’m hilariously clever and you are clicking the little “x” in the top right.)

I guess I’ll get to the point. Stelie Designs is giving TWO people their calendar of choice. I’d really like the wall calendar for my office but we have glass walls and it’s really a pain to try to get thumb-tacks to stick in there. So maybe I’d rather have the desk calendar. Although it doesn’t really matter what I want, I don’t get one. You do. And so do you.

And here’s how:

–Leave any ol’ comment. You can say anything but I’d prefer if you said something fun. Like a joke… or a haiku.
–Blog or tweet about the giveaway. Or blog AND tweet. (One entry for each.)
–Put my button on your blog and make sure that when people click it, it actually leads them here! (If it’s already on your blog, let me know!)
-Go to Stelie Designs (<– link) and tell me your favorite item. She’s giving away TWO calendars but it’s possible that your favorite item is something else. And that’s okay… you just won’t win that something else… but you’ll still be eligible to win the calendars. That was confusing. 

-Remember ages ago when we used to do the TWO word challenge? You give me TWO random words and I manipulate them into a cohesive post? Well it’s been so long since we’ve done it that I don’t know where your latest suggestions are saved. So for an EXTRA ENTRY, give me TWO random words and we’ll see about getting this going again! And if you have no idea what I’m talking about, click here for an example… or just a funny story about inappropriate church lady brownies. Ahh… good times.

So what is that, like 17 chances to enter?? Six I think. You have until Wednesday at midnight to enter. Be a peach and if you put all of your entries in one comment, tell me how many entries are included. That would be grrrrreat.

(Scroll down or click here to see the winner of the apron.)

A Delicious Start to The New Year

Only a couple weeks left of our Christmas-Blogaversary-Giveaway-Blogapalooza. Sad, huh? This week’s item is one of my faves. I’m sure you’ll agree.

I’m sure many of you have added “go out to dinner less, cook more” to your list of New Years Resolutions. While I don’t make New Years Resolutions, I think that’s a pretty good goal any time of the year. It’ll be much more fun to accomplish that goal while wearing this:

Ooooh la la! It could be fun to wear that even when you’re just making a frozen pizza!

That’s our giveaway this week. A cute apron. I’m one of those apron lovers. I have many and I love them all. Basically, I’m an equal opportunity apron owner. I even have one with a cow that lights up. True story, ask my mother-in-law.

But here’s the thing. You may not like light up aprons. (I’m not sure why you wouldn’t… everything is cooler if it sings or lights up!) You also may not like turquoise aprons. (Once again, not sure why you wouldn’t.) So I’ll let you pick your own.

Actually, Boojiboo  (<– that’s a link) will let you pick your own! Want to see a few of my faves?

Hellllo polka dots!

She even has these cute half aprons.

Don’t you love it? It’s very cheery. (This is totally unrelated, but aren’t the backgrounds of her photos ridiculously charming?) And… look… you all know how I feel about damask.

So here’s the deal. One of you will get their apron of choice from Boojiboo’s Etsy shop. All you have to do is enter. Here’s how.

-Leave a comment. Tell me about your favorite apron or your favorite, cute kitchen accessory.
-Blog or tweet about the giveaway.
-Check out Boojiboo’s shop (<– link) and tell me your favorite.

Giveaway starts now and continues until Wednesday night. Good luck chef’s!

Baffin Bags Winner… And My Voice

Happy Monday morning to you all. Let me tell you why today is a big day.

1. Today is my best friend, Lyndsey’s birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNDSEY. I wish we could hang out.
2. I announce the winner of the clutch and key fob.
3. You get to hear my voice for the first time. (Unless you know me in real life. Then you’ve obviously already heard it.)
4. I (hopefully) get a niece. My very first niece.

Now let’s address these individually.

1. Happy birthday Friend. I love you and wish you the very best birthday. How did we get so old??

2. Sorry I’m announcing this like 4 days late. I have literally not been home in 4 days, except to sleep. We are exhausted. So I couldn’t quite find the energy to write all the names down and try to make a video. Especially since most of you are on vacation anyways and it doesn’t make much difference to you if I announce today or next week.

3. Here you go. Because I love you so much. Man, this was not easy. Apparently WordPress won’t play the video right from my camera because of the file type. So I actually had to open a You Tube account so you could see this. You’re welcome. After we shot this video Stephen told me that I was talking funny. He was too. For some reason when a video camera is on you, your voice changes. It’s impossible to act normal. So please still be my friend.

Congrats Angie! I’ll hook you up with Baffin Bags (<– that’s a link).

4. My brother and sister-in-law are supposed to have a baby today. She was scheduled to be induced this morning at 5:00 am but they got a call saying the hospital is full and to hold tight for a bit. Now they are waiting for another call from a scheduler. How crappy is that?? So I may or may not be an aunt today. And to make matters worse, my mom is sick. Which means she won’t get to go to the hospital on the day that her very first grandchild is born. SUCK. Say a prayer for her so she gets better ASAP.

That’s all I’ve got for you today. I hope it was thrilling and entertaining. If you haven’t entered the latest giveaway, be sure to do so!

**Edited to add… we aren’t doing Ten on Tuesday tomorrow. I don’t feel like it. AndI’m hoping to talk about my niece tomorrow.

Merry Christmas From The Family

Goooood morning folks! It’s Christmas! Which means I’m wearing some really festive pajamas, eating some high calorie breakfast, and hanging out with family. It also means that it’s time for our next giveaway. Whoo hoo!

Remember a couple weeks ago when I showed you the picture of me in my Snuggie? Did you notice the only cute item in that photo?

Do you see it? The fabric cup sleeve? Well you can’t have it, that one is mine. And I just love that red button! But I’ve got one for you!

(Sorry y’all. I’m blogging in bed again and this photo was taken from my cell phone. I used a Walmart bag as a back drop. Keepin’ it classy.)

This item is from Savvy Stitcher, who I just love to pieces. Go look at her shop. (Ummm, so I just went to check the link to her shop. Apparently she’s closed until the new year. So check her out then. I’ll remind you!)

But since it’s Christmas, it doesn’t end there. Consider it The Day of Stocking Stuffers. I’d tell you to buy these for someone on your list, but that doesn’t really help you now that it’s Christmas. So just buy them for yourself. These are all affordable and cute.

The next items are from Zany Hoopla. She makes these charming little jotters and notebooks. The patterns are wonderful. Look at this little notebook.

My photography skills are shocking. I impress even myself.

And look at these babies.

They are teeny tiny notepads on a ring. There are two in that bag, a rectangle and a circle. She calls them “jotters.” Sort of brilliant. She even sent me one to try out. I’m actually sort of scared to use it. You know what I mean? Like the first page in a brand new notebook. I just don’t want to mess it up. But I keep it in my purse and show it off. I’ll even show you right now.

See, blogging in bed! In my jammies. I stole Stephen’s pillow to prop myself up, so you can see that he’s stuck using a spare with no pillowcase. And incase you’re wondering, there is some packaging sitting there for some “Deluxe Pampered Toes” that Santa brought me. He thought that my cramped toes could use some pampering. How thoughtful of him!

On a scale from 1-10, how much do you love my jammies?

So there y’all go. THREE ITEMS. It’s a CHRISTMAS miracle!!

How to enter?

– Leave a comment. Tell me if you love having festive pajamas. Also, are you a “pajamas” or “pajomas” person?
– Tweet or blog about the giveaway.

That’s it. Two shots. Plus, if you participated in this past Ten on Tuesday, I’ll throw your name in there again! As usual, the giveaway will end next Wednesday night.

Also, I’ll announce the Baffin Bags giveaway winner on Monday. Sorry, I don’t have time to write out all the entries and get Rookie and Stephen to supervise. We’re busy eating and celebrating baby Jesus. Nothing is more important than that. Not even custom key fobs.

I hope you all have a fabulous Christmas. Much love from the Hursts!

Hallelujah, everybody say cheese!

Beggars Can Be Choosers

Yesterday I picked Lyndsey up from the airport so we could go to lunch and I could see her for an hour or two. She lives across the country and we only get to see each other 2 or 3 times a year. We treasure our time together. When I got out of the car to help her with her bags (yes, multiple) she exclaimed, “Chelsea! You’re so skinny!”

Oh I love her. Although I’d allow her to greet me with, “Chelsea! You’ve put on weight!” or “Chelsea! Lay off the PW cinnamon rolls!” if it meant that I could see her. Beggars can’t be choosers, right?

How many times have you heard that? I hate that saying. I mean, it’s sort of true, but it’s still dumb. I guess maybe we should specify our begging from the beginning so that we don’t have to be choosey later. Don’t say, “I really want a pedicure.” Instead say, “I really want a good pedicure with comfy massage chairs that doesn’t cost more than $25.” Ba-da-bing! No choosing.

“I really want to buy a house with my husband.” No no. Instead, “I really want to buy a nice house in a good neighborhood with no ‘old house drama’ and a low interest rate.”

Ba-da-bing!

“I really want to see my best friend more than 3 times a year and hear her tell me how skinny she thinks I am.”

Excellent. I’m not choosing, just specifically begging. So I’m not being rude.

(Insert awkward segue here.)

This week, you get to choose your prize! Well, not entirely. But you get to choose your fabric. And we all know that appearance is everything. Right? Okay well maybe not, but it sure helps when it comes to accessories!

Baffin Bags is giving away a clutch wallet and matching key fob of your choice. So you can beg me to win, and then you can choose your prize. See? Beggars CAN be choosers. Man, it took me like two years to GET TO A POINT. (I don’t even know why I’m trying. I know you just want to see the goods.)

So you get a clutch wallet and a key fob. These key fobs are so popular right now amongst the blog world. Have you seen them?

How cute is that? Don’t you just love that fabric? Or maybe this one.

I actually bought my sister-in-law some coasters in that fabric. There’s a special place in my heart for burnt orange. Maybe there’s a special place in your heart for burnt orange too.

But you also have to consider the clutch. Always consider the clutch.

Seriously y’all. I love that. The polka dots make me smile. Do polka dots make you smile?

But wait. Not that I want to influence your decision, but I think I have found my favorite.

I love a good damask print, but it’s the pop of pink that makes me drool.

Interested? Of course you are. Why wouldn’t you be. Have I mentioned that I am this close to having a niece? Do you know what my niece needs? THIS.

Those snaps look like candies! Avery would love those snaps. Too bad you can’t win that in the giveaway and give it to me. Because I know y’all would… you know, if you could.

On to the details. There will be one winner. The winner will get a clutch and key fob in the fabric of their choice. (Fabric will be the same on both items.) The giveaway will be open until Wednesday at midnight and I’ll announce the winner next Thursday or Friday. There are 5 ways to enter:

• Just leave a comment. Tell me a random fact about yourself.
• Tweet about the giveaway.
• Blog about the giveaway.
• Add my button to you sidebar. (The code doesn’t work so save it as a jpg and just make sure it links back properly.)
• Go to the Baffin Bags Shop (<– that’s a link) and tell me which fabric you’d choose. (Don’t worry, we won’t hold you to it!)

Since y’all aren’t the best at following directions, I’ll give you an option. (I’m all about the choices today.) You can leave a new comment for each entry (hint, this is easier for my list writing and paper cutting drawing process) or just leave one big comment. If you leave one big comment, make sure to say something like, “This is good for ____ entries lady!”

Good luck friends.

(WordPress doesn’t recognize “pedicure” as a real word. I have never been more disappointed in WP than I am at this moment.)

One Of Us Can Be Trendy

Hint: It won’t be me.

I’m pretty awful at being trendy. I’m the kind of girl who buys a shirt from Old Navy in 3 colors because it fits wells. I love scarves because they dress up my bland clothes. I’ve never worn boots on the outside of my jeans and I’m certain that if I do so, the world as we know it may cease to exist. And not in a good way.

Thanks to my Meme, I’m now a proud owner of one of this:

Yes ma’am. My very own Snuggie. The item that the whole world wants but everyone is too afraid to buy. Luckily I have a Meme who hooked me up. And let me just tell you this: it’s a perfect item for a blogger. I can snuggle up and stay warm whilst typing this to you! Brilliant. And also trendy… but not trendy.

I’m also the owner of a custom tie dye shirt. Custom. As in, it was made especially for me. And all of the females on my mom’s side of the family have them as well. Do you need proof of that too? I’ve got proof!

I can literally feel your jealousy seeping through my monitor.

Settle down, I can hook you up. This week’s giveaway is about 17,000 times cooler than I am. Really. If someone saw me carrying this, they’d take it away and assume I’d stolen it from someone far more fashionable than me. Someone like my trendy friend Kelly. She could rock this, no problem. Or my SIL, Courtney. She has a way with things like this. Check it out:

It’s a purse… of super, epicly cute proportions. If that even makes sense.

Designed and made by GlamourDamaged (<– that’s a link). She is the talented chick who made my laptop case. When you get a second (like… now) browse her Etsy store. I’m certain you’ll find something for someone on your Christmas list. Or for me.

Do you want that? I do. I think it’ll help “up” my trend factor. But I’m disqualified from entering… obviously. So I’ve been racking my brain trying to find a way to make me just a little bit cooler. Then it dawned on me. What are all the cool kids doing these day??

Twitter.

(I’ve just fainted.)

But because all of my blog friends tell me it’s what all the cool bloggers are doing, I’m taking the plunge. Let’s just get a few things straight though. I will be “tweeting” under my blog name, blog identity, and blog interests. Meaning I won’t be telling you lame stuff, I won’t have it linked to my facebook (as if I even knew how to do that), I wont be telling my real life friends about it unless they read R&R, etc. I’ll be writing quick snippets that would interest people who read my blog. And that’s it. I’ll be tweeting for the love of blogging. If it takes up too much of my time or I decide that I hate it, it’s gone. Even if it means that my Cool Card is revoked. And also, I have the right to make up any Twitter related jargon I feel like.

Get it? Got it? (LAUREN) Good.

Which leads me to this:

WAYS TO ENTER THIS SUPER-TRENDY GIVEAWAY
leave a separate comment for each entry

1. Leave a comment. Tell me the coolest thing about yourself. It’s okay to toot your own horn if I’ve asked you to.

2. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER. (<– That’s a link.) Seriously. If you don’t, I’m quitting Twitter.

3. Tweet about it.

4. Blog about it.

5. Go to the GlamourDamaged Etsy shop and tell me your favorite item.

In an effort to dive head first into Twit Nation, there will be no facebook entry this week.

Best of luck to you all. And may the trendiest prevail.

**Edited to add: If you follow me on Twitter, please leave a comment saying that you did… That way you’ll be entered into the giveaway.

(To see last week’s winner, keep scrolling down or click here.)

The Way Texans Do Christmas

(Christmas is rapidly approaching and so is my Blogiversary (January 5). In honor of these two wonderful dates, I’ll be hosting WEEKLY giveaways throughout December and the majority of January. Each Friday I’ll post the new giveaway. You’ll have until the following Wednesday to enter and then I’ll announce the winner on Friday with the next giveaway. I hope you enjoy these fantastic products and keep them in mind for your Christmas shopping or List of Things I Really Want to Give Chelsea!)

*******

Christmas shopping can be hard.

Some people are just too hard to shop for.

They have everything.

Seriously, everything.

But suppose you know a person like this who has everything.

And suppose this person is someone big.

Someone strong.

Someone who likes to workout.

And eat.

If you know someone like this who has everything and likes to eat, like really ENJOYS eating…

like my brother…

then do not fret!

Just go to this little site here. (<- That’s a link.) Click there to find a great Christmas gift for your big, strong brother who likes to eat. You can buy him a ribeye. A big 22 oz ribeye that even he can’t handle. And he’ll love you forever and you’ll do a happy dance because you’ve pleased the beast but spent less than $20!

Or spend $49 and get a whole lot more! (Which is what I plan to do. I can’t publish this post without giving my brother his very own cooler of meat for Christmas. That would be cruel.)

They say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach… and I agree. BUT why is that exclusive to men?? There are a lot of people who are reached through their stomachs. Your aunt, your cousin, your neighbor, your fellow blogger named Chelsea, your coworker’s cousin, your pastor’s wife’s childhood friend. I understand this. Do you understand this? Green Grass Meats understands this. They love you and they want you to love them back. So they’d like to give you a Christmas gift!

The Goods:
Family Night
2 Tenderloin Filets
2 T-Bones
1 Brisket
1 lb. Stew Meat
1 lb. Ground Beef

Now the good (Texan) folks at Green Grass tell me this is a $49 value. Not true. It is $49 if you buy the Family Night package, but if you were to buy each of those things individually, you’d realize that it is actually a $104.93 value! I know, the majority of us are poor and could never afford a $19.99 filet… but you get TWO in this Family Night.. Plus so many other goods.

So here’s how you win. The contest begins…. now! It closes on Wednesday, December 9 at midnight. I’ll announce the winner next Friday. I’ll hook you up with the friendly people at GGM and they’ll mail you your delicious prize in a nicely packed cooler with dry ice. I got some of my own goods a few months ago and they stayed frozen, even in this Texas heat! There are many, many ways to enter so listen carefully. (For each entry, leave a new comment.)

1 entry – Just leave a regular ol’ comment. Tell me how excited you are about this giveaway. Or tell me about someone who has everything. Or just tell me you love me.

1 entry – Blog about this giveaway. (Leave me the link to that post.)

1 entry – Tweet about this giveaway. (Leave me the link… I don’t tweet but apparently I can still read yours… or something.)

1 entry – For the non-Tweeters, you can Facebook it. I suppose you can Facebook it even if you are a Tweeter.

1 entry – Add my button to your side bar. Make sure that it links back to my blog. (Sorry, the code doesn’t work so you have to save it as a jpg and add my URL when you upload it. The jpg can be found on my sidebar… or right here, for your convenience!)

See that! FIVE ways to enter! Good luck!

Second Thoughts on That Lottery Thing

I’ve really enjoyed reading your comments the past few days. I love when some of yall come out of the wood-work to leave a little message here. I know you’re coming, I can see the numbers. But it’s always nice when you say a little something. So thank you for sharing with me! You guys are great. We have a few things to address though.

First of all, the lottery question. I asked “If you won the lottery, what would be your one random, off-the-wall purchase?” Two issues here. The first being this- I didn’t mean that you won a scratch off. You didn’t just win some measly $10,000 prize. You won THE lottery. You are a multi-millionaire so it’s not acceptable to say “Put money aside for a house/education/future/etc.” You have money coming out of your ears, you don’t need to put any aside.

Also, “random, off the wall purchase.” Something totally random. When you’re being interviewed and they ask you what you’ve bought and you say, “Back surgery and an on-call chiropractor. And a closet full of designer shoes since I will finally be able to wear them.” They say, “Huh… back surgery. That’s random.” My mother-in-law got this. Her answer was a horse. That is random. And I like it. Furniture and houses are not random. Every lottery winner buys those. Would any of you like to change your answers?

The second item on the table. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing what some of your favorite posts are. TiffanyB said this, “I’ve only been reading your blog for about 3 and a half months now, but I still remember one of the first posts I ever read… Ignorance is Bliss. I love it when you feel like you make a fool of yourself, and still tell us about it! It really does brighten my day.” Here is the link to Ignorance is Bliss if you want to revisit that. I went back and reread it. Cliff’s Notes: I ran a bunch of errands while looking like an idiot. Tiffany, this one’s for you…

On Wednesdays, Stephen and I don’t carpool. He has breakfast with some men from church so we drive separately. I usually use Wednesday afternoons to run errands since I’m alone. I planned to stop by Target on the way home because I wanted to look for a cheap dress that I could wear to some weddings. I had looked online and they had quite a few cute ones. But towards the end of the day I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t really want to stop. I decided I would just go straight home and save the dress shopping for another day.

Then I realized I needed a few toiletry items. I could either stop at CVS, Kroger, or go a little out of my way and stop at Target. Well, I’m no idiot. I toughed it out and went to Target. I had a goal: look at a few dresses and buy one if I find one I like, and buy my few items. But let’s get real here for a second- This is Target. I would like to meet the woman who is able to walk into Target and get only a few items. Puh-lease!

Once in there I remembered that Target sells groceries. I knew I needed to get a few items for this weekend so I gathered those items. Then, on my way to the dresses I saw a few clearance racks. I swear they whispered my name. It would have been rude to just ignore them so I changed my path. Summery cotton dresses for $12? Yes please. I’ll take two! I got back on my path and gathered a few more things in my arms while I walked. Let me just pause this story for a second to say this: Why oh why does Target have a 6 garment rule?? Six items in the dressing room? Really? If you are going to have that rule, don’t have 72 items in my pathway that I want to try on. I ended up having 8 items in my arms but was only allowed to take in 6. The other two are still waiting for me at the fitting room desk. I can’t be bothered to take my clothes off AGAIN for two more items. Come on Target! End rant.

So as I was making my way through the racks I found a few dresses that could work. (FYI, none worked.) I wanted black or gray so I could change accessories and not feel like I was wearing the same dress over and over even though I was wearing the same dress over and over. Then I saw one a few racks away. It was cute. I walked over to it and started petting it. Soft. I held it up and it seemed like it could fit. It was flowy but had a tie so it would still give me a waist. I looked up at the sign above the rack to find the price. I looked around me and noticed the other women. One of these things not like the other. I immediately put the dress back and made a beeline for the dressing room to hide. The sign said: “Jersey Maternity Dress….. $29.99”

So I take it back. If I won the lottery I’d like massive amounts of Target gift cards so that when I walk in to get “a few things” and walk out spending $82, it’s not a big deal. I’d also maybe like to buy some dignity… and maybe a class that will teach me about the difference between maternity clothes and clothes I should be wearing.

Or maybe I should just learn to stop reading the signs because, you know, ignorance is bliss!

(If you haven’t entered my 200 post giveaway, click here!! It’s open until tonight at 10:00. Winners will be announced tomorrow!)