Posts tagged ‘Making Friends’

Cliffhangers

I have a love/hate relationship with season finales. I love them because they are generally pretty excellent shows. The writers always provide a lot of drama and excitement and some sort of change. But I hate them because they always leave me with questions. I thought I was going to die the year Friends announced Rachel was pregnant and didn’t tell us who the dad was.

With that being said, I realize I owe you all an apology. And a few answers. I’ve received a bunch of emails and facebook messages lately and I thought I’d address your questions. I’m sorry for leaving you hanging.

Where did your links go?
I’ve gotten this question multiple times, specifically regarding my recipe blog. The links disappeared a few weeks ago and instead of figuring out why, I just decided to wait until the new design was released and figure it out then. So as of yesterday, the links are back. But this time, my Blogroll is more comprehensive and includes many more links. Look at the top with all the tabs. See it? When you have some time to kill, look around.

And stay tuned to those tabs. I have a few more coming in the next week or so.

Why don’t you Twitter?
Because I think it’s dumb. I’m allowed to think that Twitter is dumb without thinking you are dumb, okay?! Here are my reasons for abstaining from Twitter mania:

  1. I’m not that interesting. It’s true. 100% of the interesting things that happen in my life are blogged. If I “tweet” them, what will I blog about?
  2. I don’t want another thing taking up my time and attention.
  3. I don’t care. I don’t want to read other people’s tweets, so why would they want to read mine?

If I’m famous one day and someone wants to pay my to join Twitter, I’ll do it. Or if you want to pay me, I’ll do it. You can sponsor me. “This Tweet was brought to you by _______.” I charge $20 per tweet – you can’t afford me. Anyways, no, I’m not joining Twitter. I know all the cool kids are doing it but I’m not a cool kid.

Is Rookie’s hair growing back?
I’m so thankful that you’re concerned! I thought it was just me. Yes, her fur is growing back and she is returning to her normal color. We have decided never to shave her again. It didn’t help the shedding problem. Rookie’s undercoat is the part that sheds, but her overcoat is the part that was shaved. So we were just left with an ugly, shedding dog. Lesson learned.

How was your friend date?
I know some of you are under the assumption that my friend date didn’t go well since I haven’t written about it. Or you think that I can’t say much since she reads this. You’re wrong. Our friend date went splendidly. We met for brunch and talked for 4 hours. I’d probably say it was better than 99% of real first dates I have ever been on. (Obviously my first official date with Stephen was better… we kissed for 30 minutes in the Zen parking lot. It was very Zen.) Tonight is date number 2. We’re bringing the husbands along!

I think I’ve tied up all of the loose ends. If there is something else, I apologize. You can reprimand me in the comments and I’ll spend countless hours trying to make it up to you.

June 23, 2009 at 10:02 am 10 comments

Friend Dating

Have yall tried that search function at the top of the blog? It’s pretty sweet. I just had to use it because I could have sworn that I’ve blogged about this before. But it didn’t show up, so here we go!

Life is easy when you’re a little kid. Not just because you don’t have to worry about food or money or mortgages, but because you don’t have to worry about friends. They are all made for you. When you’re a toddler, your friends are made by your parents. You hang out with the kids of whoever your mom wants to hang out with. Which is fine. You’re 3, what do you know?! When you’re in elementary school, you have more freedom to choose. But you have a limited pool. You can be friends with people in your neighborhood and people in your class. That’s it.

My elementary school had a day in the summer to come up to school and find out what class you are in and buy your shrink wrapped pack of school supplies. It was a day of great anticipation. Who would your teacher be? Who would your classmates be? I remember the summer before 4th grade. It was awful. I looked at my class list and knew nobody*. Not a single one of my friends were in my class. And to make matters worse, my classroom was in the temporary section in the 5th grade hall! I wouldn’t even be close to my friends. I couldn’t wave to them during bathroom breaks or on the way to lunch. It wasn’t fair. I cried. And cried. Because in 4th grade, there is nothing more important than your BFFs. But of course I met new BFFs. That’s how it is in elementary school. It’s easy to make friends.

(*Let me clarify. It’s not that I didn’t know anybody… I had gone to this school since Kindergarten, I knew people. They just weren’t my friends and I didn’t care for them. The two Bens were in my class though. And at first I was annoyed because boys are annoying, specifically ones that you already know. One of the Bens kissed my friend on the back in 1st grade when the boys decided to play Kiss Tag during recess. So we hated him. But one of the Bens was Jewish. And his mom came in to class and gave us a rockin Hanukkah presentation, complete with dradles and chocolate coins. But I didn’t know about the coins when I saw my class list in the summer. So at the time, my tears were justified.)

Moving on… wow, this is getting long. I apologize. I’m sure you have much more important things to do on this fine Friday… reading my rambling probably wasn’t number 1 on your things to do. Oh look, there I go again…

So lets fast forward through junior high and high school because quite honestly, I’m not sure how I made it through there alive. It’s a dog eat dog world in those lockered walls but somehow I had friends. (Thank you for that… if any of you are reading.)

College friend-making is probably different for everyone. I went to a school that had approximately 5,636,208 students. So in my first class alone, I had about 2849 people to choose from to be my BFF. I’m not sure how it all happened, but I quickly had a core group of friends. It changed over the years as my classes, activities, and interests changed. But I was never lonely. I never wondered what I would do on a Friday night. I never even wondered what I would do on a Tuesday night.

Why were all of those friend-making times so easy? Because we were all in the same life stage. And there were so many people to choose from. You were bound to find someone who liked to watch Friends at 3 in the morning while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food. But it’s not like that anymore. I’m a 24 year old, married, homeowning, poor, employed Christian. To add to the complexity, I’m sarcastic, boring, don’t like going to movies or spending money, enjoy reading, desire motherhood, don’t like loud bars, hate the phone, and don’t know how to shop with people who aren’t my mom. So making friends is difficult.

When you throw in the husbands, it gets even crazier. A few years ago, an out of town friend hooked us up witha couple he knows. He old us we live close and should give them a call. We did. We hung out a few times each month but eventually, it died out. Not because it was anyone’s fault, but because we didn’t click. You know what I mean? We didn’t have that spark! Last year a woman at church approached me and said, “Oh Chelsea. There is this couple who just moved here and I think you and Stephen would really like them. Can I send you their information?”

That’s when it dawned on me… making friends as an adult is a lot like dating. You meet people through mutual friends. You’re married? Oh, so is my friend. You should meet. You don’t have kids yet? Oh, neither does my friend. You should meet. You have a dog? Oh my gosh, so does my friend. You should meet!

And that’s how it goes. The couple dating routine. Getting four people together for dinner and making magic happen. It’s complicated and stressful. And at the end of the night you are left wondering, “Did they like us? Will they call? Did you hear when he mentioned that they travel a lot? Do you think that means they are rich? We can’t keep up with that. Oh well, let’s not assume… Maybe his parents are rich. Oh gosh, I’m so confused. Do you think it’ll work out?”

I have a friend date this weekend. There is a wonderful girl who I have never met and we are finally taking the plunge. We chose not to invite the husbands just yet. We need to establish a good base before we throw two more people into the relationship. So this post serves two purposes…

1. When you’re saying your prayers tonight, say one for my friend date. Pray that we both like each other and there are no mixed signals or deal breakers.

2. Single ladies? The awkward dating scene doesn’t end when you get married. It goes on. Forever. Good luck with that…

June 19, 2009 at 9:42 am 12 comments

Redeeming Qualities

Why are certain people in your life? Why have you let them in? Probably because they add something to your life that wasn’t there without them. Right? You make a new friend because that person adds joy to your life. You like their company. You have fun with them. They make you want to be a better person. Hopefully the majority of your relationships are healthy and selfless like that. I’d bet there are a few people in your life that don’t bring as many benefits. Maybe you are just friends with a guy because your wife gets along with his wife. Or maybe you work together so you have a professional work-friendship even though you have nothing in common.

 

When my friend Lyndsey and I first met, we weren’t friends. I joined an organization at UT and she was an officer. We saw each other a lot but weren’t really friends. Not really sure why. Maybe it was a case of “I hate her because I want to be her” on both sides. It only took us a couple months to realize we should be friends. And, I’ll be honest, it was a selfish friendship at first. I wanted to be friends with her for 3 main reasons. (1. She’s hot. And who doesn’t want hot friends?! 2. She’s funny. 3. She’s tall. It’s hard to be friends with tiny people when you’re tall… I feel like a beast!) I didn’t really think we’d become great friends. I thought we’d go to baseball games together and joke around when we saw each other at events. And I was okay with that. I had a hot, tall, funny friend. Who wouldn’t be okay with that?! I’m not sure why Lyndsey decided she wanted to be my friend. Maybe it was so I’d wake her up in time for meetings. Or because I laughed at her jokes and understood her sarcasm. I don’t know. Whatever the reason, we became friends. In case you’re curious, Lyndsey now falls into the “best friend” category. She was in my wedding. I plan to be in hers one day (I hope you plan for me to be in your wedding too, Lyndsey!) I’m considering having a baby just to bribe her into moving to Houston.

 

All of that to say that sometimes we like people for selfish reasons. We get something from them so we welcome them into our lives… even if we previously could care less.

 

Last night I went to the grocery store to get a few of the necessities for our weekend with the Johnsons. I headed over to the milk area. Standing in front of the Whole Milk door was a little Indian woman with a toddler screaming in her cart. No worries, I’m a 1% milk girl, a whole two doors down from her. I’ll just sneak in, pretend I don’t hear the blood-curdling cries, and grab my milk. As my arm (and head) are in the fridge, reaching down to pick up the perfect gallon, I’m struck. No, not with a brilliant idea. With a door. The very door I just opened to get my milk. This woman had backed herself and her cart into my door with as much force as a bull running toward a waving red sheet. Okay, okay. Or maybe with as much force as a tiny Indian woman taking a few backward steps. Regardless, I was hit on the head with a door. And when you’re bending over, any sort of force is hard to take. She mumbled some sort of embarrassed apology and ran off. I knew we wouldn’t be friends.

 

I continued to go through my shopping list. I see “creamer”…crap.  I made my way back to those dreaded glass doors and guess who is standing there. Yep, my non-friend. Her son is no longer in her cart… I look around and see him running down the candy aisle with dad. I stand in front of the creamers, reading all the names. When I chose the tastiest looking one, I brace the door open with my shoulder, making sure to keep my head far from it. As I back up, creamer in hand, there she is. Standing uncomfortably close to me. (In case you didn’t read yesterday’s post, I don’t like physical touch… so the threat of physical touch makes me nervous.) I’m sure she didn’t mean to sneak up on me. She doesn’t know that my left eye doesn’t work properly. I’m sure she doesn’t read my blog. How dare her… I told you we could never be friends! (Get to the point Chelsea.) Okay, so I look at her to see what she needs. Maybe she wants me to bend back over so she can close the door on me again. No, that’s not it. “Um, come here?” Her broken English was kind of cute. I walk with her to another door. “Land O’Lake. Large?” she says as she’s point up. I look up and on the very top row (about my eye level!) is some carton of something with the name “Land O’Lakes.”

 

I handed her the carton and realized that even though she previously didn’t care about me, she now wants me to be her tall friend. Hey, I’ll take what I can get.

May 21, 2009 at 11:28 am 4 comments


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