Posts tagged ‘Pregnancy’


I was planning on doing this next week but the way I see it, the longer I wait, the easier it’s going to be to guess. Every day that goes by is another day that we know Jansen is not making his arrival. Over the weekend I asked a lot of my family to make their predictions. I’m not going to mention what any of them were, but it was surprising to see how similar many of them think.

So I wonder, Blogworld, do you feel the same way? When do you think the little one is going to make his debut? What will his stats be? Take a guess! Maybe I can come up with some sort of prize for the person who gets the closest (don’t hold your breath though!).

Leave your comment and take a guess at his 1) arrival date 2)weight and 3) length.

A few bits of info to help you make your guess:

-I was early
-Stephen was 3 weeks late
-I weighed 7 pounds 11 ounces
-Stephen weighed 11 pounds
-I have no idea how long I was
-Stephen was like 23 inches, I think
-Jansen’s official due date is September 19
-As of 30 weeks, he was measuring in the 54th percentile
-As of this morning, I’m 2-3 centimenters dialated

And…. go!

August 25, 2010 at 10:16 am 21 comments

Pregnant Pause – 36 Weeks

As of yesterday, I’m officially considered “full term.” I’m not exactly sure what that means… I imagine it means that if Jansen were born today, the likelihood of him having any developmental issues is slim. Is that right? Does anyone know? I’m sure I could Google but sometimes you guys are better than Google.

I’m pretty sure he is getting bored in there. He moves around constantly and I’m pretty certain that he’s trying to back his way out. His butt is usually pressed up against my belly, causing me to look deformed and lop-sided. Most of the time it is pretty entertaining but sometimes it really hurts. It really makes me wonder how big he is. He feels like he must be huge because he is literally all over the place, but the last measurement we had put him at the 54th percentile. I have an appointment on Wednesday, maybe she’ll give me a bit more insight then.

I have some bad news (mostly bad to me and my sister, and I suppose Stephen). Last night we found my first stretch mark. Let me clarify. Last night we found my first stretch mark on my belly. My hiney is another story and I’d rather not talk about it. Every night Stephen holds my belly and feels Jansen’s movements and then gives him a kiss. Last night as he was doing this he stopped and said, “Wait. What is this? Did you scratch yourself?” Who knows?! This belly gets in the way. He went on, “It looks sort of shiny. Is it a stretch mark??” SAD DAY. I have been told by books and the internet that stretch marks are hereditary… if your momma got them, you’ll get them. My momma didn’t get them so I thought I was in the clear. Then my butt began to look like a sunburned zebra, red stripes from cheek to cheek. I was sad to see that but since my butt is never seen in public, I wasn’t too concerned. But my belly? My belly often visits the beach.

So we are about 99% sure that the line we found last night is a stretch mark. This morning I was inspecting it and I found two more lines on my belly. It is not yet confirmed if they are stretch marks, they are lacking the shiny quality of my beloved first mark. We shall see. So bad news sister, looks like we aren’t in the clear.

Other than that, there aren’t many changes. My feet still hurt, I’m only able to sleep in the recliner, and I can still eat cinnamon rolls like a champ.

This weekend was really productive. I had my last shower on Saturday (more on that later in the week) and spent some time trying to get organized. I still have a lot of work to do but I feel like I’ve made progress. Stephen put the stroller/carrier set together. Then he put the swing together. It was so cute. Until we turned it on. It made the WORST noise (grind click grind click) that, I think, may be worse than a screaming baby. And the sound effects on it? Holy cow! One of the reviews we read online said, “The waves sound like a construction site and the birds sound like two pterodactyls fighting over meat.” Needless to say, we knew we couldn’t keep it. I got online and did some research on swings. I am very sensitive to clicks and I knew I’d go insane if I had to listen to rhythmic clicks all day.

We ended up learning that the one with the best reviews was this Fisher Price swing that converts into a high chair. Interesting. Well we already have a high chair… So I got online and read the reviews for our high chair. Several complaints about how “impossible” it is to get the tray on and off easily. So we decided to return the swing and the high chair and get the two in one piece. Thankfully, Babies R Us didn’t give us any grief over our partially assembled swing that we couldn’t get back in the box and we got the full refund. Last night, Stephen put together the new piece. It doesn’t look as fancy as the others but it is SILENT and compact. To all of you preggos out there, I recommend this product!

Things are coming together. I feel much better after this weekend, knowing we have a stroller and a carrier and a mattress. I can definitely feel that we are nearing the end. I had several bouts of Braxton Hicks over the weekend, mostly when I fold the laundry. I think that the heat and bending are just too much for my body at this point.

Here’s my weekly photo:

When you look at me head-on, my belly sticks out the bottom of that shirt. Thankfully it doesn’t show up in the picture!

(Ten on Tuesday questions were posted as of last Thursday. I think this week is going to be a lot of fun, I’m anxious to see who participates!)

August 23, 2010 at 9:10 am 15 comments

Yesterday We Talked About Baths, Today Is About Showers

Last weekend I had my second baby shower. This one was hosted by my mother-in-law, two sister-in-laws, and Stephen’s aunt. And of course, it was wonderfully decorated and I was spoiled rotten. Or maybe Jansen was spoiled rotten, it’s not like I’ll be wearing the onesies or sitting in the high chair. Regardless, someone in the Hurst family was spoiled rotten.

Check out some of the decor. This my mom, my MIL, and me.

Do you need a close-up of those cupcakes?

Cute! They were really good too. The icing looks like it would be super sweet but it really wasn’t.

They had all of my belly pictures hanging above the buffet!

It was pretty darn cute!

The food was great, I had two platefuls because I’m pregnant and I can. It even prompted one of the women to say, “Have you had an appetite chance since you’ve been pregnant?” I wanted to say, “Clearly!” but I felt that might be rude so I just responded, “Hmm, just a tad.”

Speaking of rude. They played a game called “HOW FAT IS CHELSEA?” Just kidding. Kind of. They had a guessing game to see who could guess how many inches around I am, and honestly HONESTLY it didn’t hurt my feelings. I had no clue how big I was and I was thankful that they didn’t make me guess. It was fun to see the answers though. What’s your guess?

My SIL, Heather, guessed the exact answer. I’m 43.5 inches around. She said she’s been watching a lot of weight-loss shows so she had a good idea about large waists! Whatever works, Heather!

Then we did presents. There were presents a-plenty. And of course it’s fun to open them but it’s always more fun when I get home because I can look through everything slowly and actually process it. Here’s a very important question for you… why is everything so much cuter when they put something on the butt?

A frog. On the butt! We also got this little romper that is blue and white striped and it has a crab on the front. On the butt it says, “Ahoy!” We melted. Baby butts are already so cute… they just become over-the-top cute when you decorate them!

I obviously can’t show you everything but I’ll leave you with a few more pictures. This is me with the hostesses. (L-R: Aunt Melanie (Tia Mel), MIL, me, SIL Courtney, SIL Heather – who just got engaged and has a ginormous rock and I should have taken a picture to show you)

This is the diaper bag I mentioned the other day. I actually cheated and opened it before the shower because it’s from my cousin and she wasn’t in town and I just couldn’t wait because it was in a big bag and it was heavy. So I opened it. And it was a diaper bag filled with everything she LOVED when her little Sophie was a newborn. And I had to show you the bag because it’s hard to find something this stinking cute when you’re having a boy.

Don’t you love it? It’s beautiful and well-made and I’m going to look so hip!

In case you couldn’t tell, it was a great shower. My top was sheer and I was wearing leggings, so I didn’t sweat as much as I did at the first shower in the denim dress. Which I think is a bonus for both me and the guests who have to hug me.

I’m going to leave you with the best picture of the day. It doesn’t include any baby gear or even a baby bump, but it’s such a great picture that I’d think it is totally blog-worthy. This is me with my sister.

As always, you can click on any of the pictures to make them bigger. Thanks for letting me document this. It may not be as fun for you to read,  but this is the type of post that I’ll want to revisit in the future.

August 19, 2010 at 9:07 am 14 comments

A House Full Of Talent

I like to brag on my dog. Sometimes she is really smart. Dont get me wrong, sometimes she is a complete fool and I wonder how she functions… but I think that all dogs have that gene. I swear though, sometimes she is a genius.

Rookie loves ice. She thinks it’s a treat, which helps us save a buck or two on Milkbones and Scooby Snacks! But sometimes she’ll come to the fridge and act like she really wants a piece, and then she’ll just drop it on the floor and walk away. So I say, “No ma’am. You asked for that ice, you’re going to eat that ice. Now come here and get it.” And she will. She’ll put her head down and slowly walk to the ice and start chomping away. (And please don’t tell me that ice is bad for their teeth. She’s been eating ice since she was a puppy and the vet always tells us what great teeth she has. So you’re wrong.)

My favorite Rookie trick is when I tell her to go get Stephen and she does. Sometimes she is more successful than others, I think she’s learning that she has to fuss at him, she can’t get run over to him and stare. We don’t read minds.

Last night I took a nice warm bubble bath. Of course it wasn’t too great because I’m the size of a hippo and hippos aren’t meant to sit in standard sized bathtubs. So while there may have been warm water and bubbles, only about 35% of my body was submerged. At one point I needed Stephen to come in there. (We’re married. He’s allowed to see his hippo in the bathtub.) I knew from the sounds I heard in the background that he was doing the dishes and there would be no way that he’d hear me yell his name. However, I also knew that Rookie gets really nervous when I yell and starts fussing, I realized I could use that to my advantage. “STEPHEN.” I yelled. Rookie came running to the closed bathroom door and started fussing. “Hey Rookie. Where’s daddy? Go get Stephen! Go get Stephen.” And off she went, her little toenails tapping on the tile floor. I could hear her fuss getting further away.

About 10 seconds later I heard Stephen’s voice, “What’s wrong? Show me. Where’s Chelsea?” He got closer to the bathroom. “Chelsea? Are you okay?” I was grinning ear to ear, “Did she really just go get you?” He told me that yes, she walked into the kitchen and started fussing at him and walked this way. Seriously, that never gets old.

But I’m happy to say that Rookie is not the only one in Hurst Castle that can do cool tricks. Turns out, this little bun in my oven has a fun party trick. (Although, due to the nature of the party, Stephen will be the only one invited.) At this stage in my pregnancy, he’s pretty fully developed. He can hear and taste. He can feel temperature. He’s like a real human baby, only he’s trapped in my uterus. I’ve read that sometimes they’ll respond to your voice or other sounds at this stage. While that sounds cool, I didn’t believe that it would be true.

It’s true.

As I was soaking my hippo body, I popped my toe against the side of the bathtub. I like to do this. I’m a habitual knuckle cracker. When I did, my belly jumped. Up until that point, Jansen had been pretty still. I was almost certain that he was asleep. But I knew I saw my belly jerk and I wondered if the timing was a coincidence or if he heard me pop my toe. So I tried it again. I popped my thumb under water. Sure enough, he jumped again. I was giddy. Besides me pushing on my belly to get him to move, this is the first real interaction I’ve had with him. He hears me and responds! So that’s when I called Stephen. I knew I couldn’t just tell him about this and not try to show him. You just couldn’t believe how cool it is.

Once he arrived in the bathroom with Rookie, I told him what happened. I tried to do it again but all of my knuckles were popped, so Stephen decided he’d try. He knelt down and stuck his hands in the water. I laid really still and he popped his finger. It was a quiet pop and there was no reaction. It wasn’t enough to scare him. (Is it mean that we get our kicks from scaring our child??) So he tried a thumb. Popping a thumb under water is loud, and it proved to be loud enough to make Jansen pop up from his nap and jerk my belly up.

It was amazing. I can’t even put into words how cool it was. He is like a REAL baby with REAL reactions and emotions (anger… I’m sure he experienced some fierce anger). It was just so fun to see a direct cause and effect with him. It totally made my night.

Now can anyone figure out a way to translate to him that the same evil woman who is scaring him during his precious nap is the same women who is housing and feeding him? I can’t have my child hating me already, that’s what the teenaged years are for.

August 18, 2010 at 9:08 am 8 comments

Pregnant Pause – Week 35

We are almost done with these Pregnant Pauses, aren’t you excited?!

We have entered the stage of “the baby could come at any time.” My brother, sister, and I were all early. I’m not sure if that sort of thing runs in the family, but I’m just going to assume it’s a possibility and be prepared. Although Stephen was 3 weeks late so I’m also going to be mentally prepared to go past my due date. No expectations– that’s the name of the game!

Stephen and I had a conversation last night about “what if he came tomorrow?” For the most part, we’re ready. We have the essentials… minus a crib mattress, but he won’t be in the crib for the first few weeks anyways. We also realized that we don’t have our stroller and carrier set yet. So this is how it would go. We’d rush to the hospital and call my mom, “Hey mom, we’re going to the hospital. Would you be a peach and run by Babies R Us and buy our stroller/carrier combo. Thanks a bunch.” Then we’d call his mom and say, “We may or may not be having a baby in 5 seconds. Can you bring the three of us some clothes? Be sure to grab my hand knit socks! And also some Double Stuf Oreos? Thanks.”

So after that conversation we decided it might not be the end of the world to go ahead and start thinking about packing a bag. Granted, that bag could sit around for literally 6 weeks, but it could also be necessary in a few days. Better safe than sorry, I suppose. So one of these next few days we’ll pack a bag… which will then jinx us and Jansen and his giant head will stay put for 6 more weeks. But I’m willing to take that change. He can cook as long as he needs to.

Stephen has reached the stage of realizing that this is really close and wondering if we’re prepared. I was ready for this. It’s common. Women start reading books when they are 5 weeks along. They read blogs and magazines and baby discussion boards. They think about the nursery for approximately 23.5 hours a day. They come up with the “what to register for” list and constantly think and rethink their decisions. They are mentally prepared. Then in the 35+ week range, the men realize the time is near. They have yet to crack open a book and start wondering if all the crap in their living room is enough. I hear this is why those lamazze and birthing classes are so helpful… it gets the man mentally prepared. We opted out of those so we may be hitting up You Tube so that Stephen can have some peace of mind.

I feel mentally prepared. Not physically. I’m tired and everything hasn’t found its spot yet. I have piles of thank you notes to write and my folders at work aren’t quite in order. The good news is that I got the cutest diaper bag in existence so even if I’m not prepared, I’ll at least look the part!

Speaking of… this is what I look like today.

It’s nice that my belly is so big that you can’t notice my growing butt and thighs! I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m kind of huge. In fact, I had several people come up to me at church yesterday to remind me that I’m getting really close. Yes. Yes, I know this.

I spent at least 2 hours in my parents’ pool yesterday afternoon trying to cool down and give all of my muscles a break. It was nice. Sort of makes me wish I could conduct my entire life in my recliner or the pool. (Or in a pedicure chair… which is where you’ll find me today after work!)

Do any of you have any advice for the home-stretch? Any advice for Stephen? Any must-haves for our hospital bag? Let us hear it!!

(ToT will be posted shortly.)

August 16, 2010 at 9:05 am 21 comments

Pregnant Pause – Week 34

Welcome to week 34, only 6 weeks left. Here’s an update…

Falling asleep is hard, staying asleep isn’t as hard. Once I can get comfortable and fall asleep, I usually stay that way until my bladder almost explodes. So most nights I only get up about twice and I usually don’t have much of an issue falling asleep. (But just a reminder that this is only true the past 4 nights… so it may not be my new norm, I  must be blessed with a stroke of luck.) Last night I slept in the recliner again. Besides the hour or so it took me to fall asleep, it was great. Stephen slept on the couch in the living room so I wouldn’t be alone. He told me this morning that he won’t be doing that again. I’ll be all alone… left to fend for myself if the creepies find their way inside.

Friday and Saturday night I was in Galveston. I didn’t mention that to you last week. Every year, several of my college friends try to get together for a weekend. Thankfully, my parents bought this rockin’ beach house that can fit all of us. We had 11 on Friday night and due to schedules and other circumstances, we had 6 Saturday night. We had a fantastic time!

I tell you this so I can tell you two pregnancy related things: First, I didn’t sleep on the recliner over the weekend, I slept on a bed and only used 3 pillows. It was not the best sleep but it was better than I expected. I think that’s because I was so exhausted. Second, on Saturday they threw Stephen and me a mini baby shower!

One of our friends made a fancy cake and traveled EIGHT hours with it! There were gifts and games! We played two games that I’d never played before. In the first game, there were 8 brown paper bags stapled shut. We had to pass them around and guess what was inside. Stephen and I tied with another couple but since we’re having the baby, we got the prize. Fun how that works out, huh? The second game was the type of game you only play when you invite dudes to the shower.

Chugging beer from a baby bottle… through the nipple. There were only two participants (one, of course being my husband) due to only three bottles and a lost nipple that we later realized was in paper bag #7. Stephen ended up throwing in the towel halfway through because it was a S-L-O-W process and it froze his tongue.

You can kind of see my belly in this photo. We got some great stuff, including a Rex dinosaur from Toy Story 3 that makes the most obnoxious “raur” in existence. In case there was any question, Stephen registered for that.

In other pregnancy news, my feet hurt. Not like, “oh they are swollen and I’m tired and blah blah blah.” No, the pads of my feet hurt like they are bruised. I literally cannot walk if I’m not wearing shoes or else I feel like someone is beating the bottoms of my feet. It started several weeks ago with random foot tingles, specifically in the middle of the night. Slowly those tingles started to hurt. Now it’s brutal. I’m going to chat with my doctor on Thursday about it but after consulting The Google, I decided it’s Metatarsalgia… which basically just means pain in the metatarsal area. Most websites just say that I should wear shoes with good arch support. I’ve basically been living in my Croc flip flops because they feel like air. They seem to do the trick. Does anyone have any experience with this?

That’s about all I’ve got for you this week. Here’s my belly shot!

What do you think? Huge? Not so huge? Sometimes I feel massive, like when all of my shirts are too short. But other times I don’t feel very big at all.

I’ll add this picture to Bumptastic so you can compare the weeks. Also, I’ll get ToT posted once I come up with ten questions. I actually got a good recommendation for a fun ToT on Twitter but I think we’ll wait until next week to do that one. Happy Monday, have a good week!

August 9, 2010 at 9:07 am 14 comments

Seven Quick Takes

Caution: Randomness to come.

I hit an all-time low when it comes to fatigue. I almost fell asleep at my desk several times yesterday because I’d had about 4 almost sleepless nights in a row. I decided it was time to stop talking about how I think the recliner could help and actually try it. So last night I put a fitted sheet over the recliner, put two extra fans in the living room, and settled in for the night. I woke up twice two pee but THAT’S IT. And neither trip to the bathroom was painful. I didn’ t have to hobble in there or hold my back. No tears were shed and I think the only moan was the sound I made when I tried to hoist myself out of the recliner. In conclusion: Praise the Lord, it looks like I might get some sleep during the last 6 weeks!!

As of August 1, Stephen and I started the new envelope method of budgeting. It’s going to take some self-control but I think it’ll be worth it. I’ve VERY good at mental justification… This method doesn’t allow for that.

My mom’s pup has been having some health issues. (If you look on my About Me tab, she’s the little white fluff ball.) She’s had several tests and nobody really knows what’s wrong. A specialist even said, “I’ve been in practice for 35 years, 30 as a by referral vet (aka: only weird cases), and I’ve never seen anything like this.” She doesn’t want to eat, she’s very needy, sometimes she just spaces out. It’s very odd. She had surgery earlier in the week and had several biopsies done. We’ll get results next week. I know this sounds weird but will you please keep her in your prayers? She may just be a dog, but she’s a pet. And for those of you who have pets, you know how they become your family.

I hit an all time pregnancy low yesterday. It was the first time I thought, “Okay, I’m ready for this to be done.” My back was hurting, I was beyond tired, and Jansen was especially active. (Read: Beating the crap out of my insides.) I’m doing much better today and I’ve decided I’m not quite ready for this chapter to end.

I only own two maternity shirts that are long enough for me to wear to work. Why is that okay? If it says “maternity” on it, it should be extra long. Who cares if I have a ridiculously long torso, there should still be clothes options for me! So from here on out, two days a week I will wear those two shirts and the other three I will wear solid t-shirts from Stephen’s drawer. And if anyone wants to complain, they can start a new line of maternity clothes for non-midgets.

I almost hate to admit this because I’m SO not about the brand names. However, for reasons that aren’t important to this post, I have been using a name brand contact solution for a few weeks instead of Kroger brand. You know? I think it’s better. I don’t keep track of how old my contacts are. I just wear them until they irritate my eyes… whether that is the recommended month or close to two months. I feel that as long as I can see and they are comfortable, I’ll keep wearing them. But y’all, this new solution is like super powered. I don’t know how long I’ve been wearing these contacts but it is far longer than normal. So now I need to figure out if it’s worth it to pay over two times the price for solution and keep my contacts longer, or save money on solution but waste it on contacts.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to prepare your coworkers for 6 weeks without you?! I thought it would be quick and easy. No ma’am. I have folders with sticky notes and printed instructions, times 10. Some of them understand that life will go on, others fear that this may be the end of the world. Part of me hopes that there will be a few issues so they know that I’m needed… but most of me is scared that they’ll realize that my job is really easy and somehow think I’m replaceable.

August 6, 2010 at 8:52 am 17 comments

Pregnant With A Chance of Showers

We’re closing in on the end of this pregnancy. The true sign? Well besides my massive belly and constant yawns, we’ve hit the season of showers! I’m blessed with so many fantastic people in my life that there are 3 showers being thrown for me. The first one was last Saturday. I was slightly nervous just because that is A LOT of attention on me for a long time. I’m not that great in person, that’s why I write on the internet.

But it was a blast. There were 5 hostesses and I’d show you a picture except the one on my camera turned out terrible. They themed the shower around books and animals. The invitation had invited everyone to bring their favorite children’s book to start a library for Jansen. Let me tell you… GREAT idea. (So great, in fact, that Stephen spent an hour and a half on Saturday evening reading through many of the books.)

When I walked in, this is what I was greeted with.

How stinking cute is that? The baskets in the back went home with me and are now full of books. And look at those baskets in the front! They’ll be perfect in his nursery! Those big green things are books that spell out his name. PRECIOUS.

Everything was decorated perfectly, with his colors spread throughout the house. This cake was fantastic.

Don’t you just love those tissue paper pom poms?! Since I’m still mobile-less, I’m thinking about making a big orange one and hanging it above his crib. Thoughts and feelings?

My sweet little niece joined the party and was a big ball of smiles the entire time. I’m really hoping that she’s giving Jansen secret messages about how to be a happy baby.

We played a game that involved candy bars. When I first saw it, I thought it might be that nasty game where there are melted candy bars in diapers and you have to smell and taste to figure out what they are. I’m thankful that it wasn’t that game. Instead, there was a science fair type board with candy taped to it.

Then Mendy, the loudest and perkiest of the hostesses, read us a story. Anytime she paused, we were to yell out a corresponding candy that went with the story. Example? “When Chelsea found out she was pregnant and told Stephen, he exclaimed, _____”

“SKOR!” Which, of course, I won because I was there when I told him! If you guessed correctly, you won the candy. It was such a cute game!

Then it was time for gifts. Gifts and more gifts. It was quite overwhelming and hard to process. Not to mention I was sweating like a freaking pig! When I went home I sat by myself and looked through all my loot so I could really process it. I later showed Stephen and made him pretend like he was REALLY INTERESTED. He agreed to sit and look over everything as long as I promised not to make him say that everything was “cute” because he “just doesn’t use that word.”

I really did get some great stuff. Bottles, a swing, a bathtub, items for the diaper bag, items for the house, so much stuff! I didn’t get good pictures of all of it but this is a set of Astros and Longhorn onesies that made me so happy!

Y’all, it was so much fun. It was so nice to see all of those women in the same room at the same time. I’m quite overwhelmed with everyone’s generosity, and I know Stephen is as well. Thanks to the hostesses for throwing such a fabulous shower! Thanks to all the attendees for your love, support, gifts, and prayers. You all mean the world to me.

Now I get to recover this weekend and then have showers the following two weekends. Of course I’ll tell you all about them and show you more pictures. For now, I’ll leave you with a reminder of how cute my momma is!

(If you want to see any of the pictures larger, just click on them.)

August 5, 2010 at 9:21 am 21 comments

Let’s Just Be Real

Dear Pregnancy,

We need to chat.

You look like so much fun from afar. All my life I’ve seen you in the presence of all of these cute women. They glow, they smile, they rub their bellies with pride. We watch them slowly grow over the better portion of a year and then suddenly, you’re gone. Nowhere to be found, leaving behind a teeny tiny human being.

I think you have partnered with Mother Nature and God to make every woman think you are a necessary part of their life. At some point in just about every woman’s journey, they feel the need to welcome you into their lives. Sometimes you come quickly, sometimes you take your precious time. (Which, by the way, I think it’s cruel. You should think about that.)

But you joined me. Stephen and I decided that we were ready for you to join us and, of course, you came when you saw fit… almost a year after we issued your original invitation.

Let me just say this, Pregnancy. Your stay hasn’t been all rainbows and butterflies. You haven’t been one of those guests that just goes with the flow and makes her bed every morning. No. Not at all. You’re more like the type of guest that clogs your shower with her hair and leaves her dirty socks on your living room floor.

You brought several things with you in your overnight bag. Let’s discuss those. I’d like to try to understand where you’re coming from since I know you’ll be back for another “vacation” once or twice in my future.

What’s up with the Energy Vacuum you have in your room? You pull it out at extremely inopportune times. Like last night. I got home, you plugged that stupid vacuum in and sucked every speck of energy I had. I had to sit down after unloading the groceries. I started to get dinner going and had to sit down again. I unloaded the dishwasher and had to take a break. ALL NIGHT that stupid energy vacuum ran. I think it’s really mean, especially since you also bring along a Nesting Instinct. How am I supposed to sort bibs and binkies if I am too tired to walk into the other room? How do I hang Jansen’s clothes if bending down and then raising my arms causes me to pant?

Speaking of panting. What is all this about? I can’t lay down without feeling like all of my insides are about to come up my throat. I know, I know. I shouldn’t be laying on my back anyways. But sometimes I want to lay on the couch, and sometimes I want cuddle with Stephen horizontally. But it seems that 5 seconds later, my heart rate is up and my breathing is hurried. Incase you were wondering, it’s not fun.

Listen, while I truly appreciate that you now allow me to have a movement on a regular basis, I don’t appreciate the unwelcome gas. I’m a lady. A lady that used to be skinny and feminine but is now 35 pounds heavier out front. I need all the help I can get. What is not sexy? Involuntary farting. When I stand, sit, step, bend. Sometimes when I’m just watching television. Thankfully this no longer phases my husband (wait, is that a good thing?), but I don’t think everyone else is as sympathetic.

My biggest beef with you is the pain. It’s constant. It’s so common that I don’t always even notice it… I’ll just realize I’m wincing and have my hand on my side. The back pain, the butt muscle pain, the leg pain, the side pain when he kicks. I’ve heard that the crappy sleep is preparation for when the baby comes, the hunger is to make sure the baby gets enough nutrients, the fatigue is to make sure I slow down and don’t push myself too far. But what’s the pain for? HUH????

Don’t get me wrong, Pregnancy, I’m glad you’re here. I’m glad you decided that you’d like to stay with me for 9 months and change my life. I’m glad, really I am. But I just don’t understand your choices. Next time you should only bring along about 40 pounds… maybe not the 50 we’re probably going to end up with this time. You should pack broccoli, not cinnamon rolls. You should be quiet and still and let me sleep. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask.

It is only now that I realize what God meant when he punished Adam and Eve. Genesis 3:16 “To the woman He said, ‘I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth, in pain you will bring forth children.'” Ah ha! He wasn’t just talking about the act of birth! Which, yes, is painful… but it’s over in less than a day. Anyone can put up with pain for that short of a stint, especially when they know they are SO CLOSE to meeting their child. He was talking about YOU, Pregnancy. “In pain you will bring forth children.” It’s clear now.

So I suppose you don’t have much choice in the matter. It’s your job to make my feet hurt and my throat burn. And since your boss is THE BOSS, you have to obey. Okay I can accept that, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. And it doesn’t mean we have to be BFF. I’ll still welcome you back in the future and I’ll still tell all of my friends how great you are. But between you and me, I think you’re a pain in the tooshie!

With All My Love,


August 4, 2010 at 9:00 am 13 comments

Pregnant Pause – Week 33

Hallelujah! Today is the first day in several months that I have woken up without even an ounce of back pain. There is no explanation, I have done nothing differently. I guess I just got lucky with my sleeping position. I did make sure to threaten Stephen’s life if he touched my pillows today… whatever worked last night better work tonight!

I had some pain on Saturday but nothing unbearable. Same with Sunday. I feel like that’s my new norm. I just live every day with a bit of back pain and a lot of trips to the bathroom. Oh and sweat. Did you know that pre-pregnancy I never really sweat? It was a weird piece of trivia about me and I have no idea why. But it’s changed now, I’m a sweater!

Saturday was my first baby shower! It was fantastic but there is too much to tell you for me to include it today in my pregnant pause. I’ll tell you about it later this week. I even have pictures to share. Here’s a teaser.

My belly continues to grow at an exponential pace. I’ve taken to wearing Stephen’s t-shirts to work most days because the majority of my maternity shirts are too short and show my belly panel when I stand up. I’m enjoying this phase of pregnancy because Jansen is so much easier to find. At any given time I can put my hand on my belly and feel around a bit to find his back or his butt or his feet. There’s something about feeling him that makes this so much more real! Oh and Saturday night I was laying on the couch, leaning up against Stephen, and we could see the hiccups for the first time. I have felt them a few times before but this was our first time to see my belly bouncing with each hiccup. It was so cute.

I’m still not ready for this to be over. People are constantly asking, “Are you dying? Are you just so ready for this to be over?” Not at all. Yes I’m hot and uncomfortable, but I’m enjoying this phase. I’m enjoying the final weeks that Stephen and I have as a couple. I’m enjoying the preparation. I’m enjoying just dreaming about him and imagining what he’ll be like. Maybe if you ask me in a few weeks when I can’t get out of bed without help, I may have a different answer. But for now, life is just grand!

Here is my weekly picture.

The shirt I’m wearing is not a maternity shirt and I think next week will be the beginning of bare skin making it’s debut! There is a tiny gap between my shirt and pants this week but not enough to see skin. But if you compare this week with the past, you’ll see two differences. 1) I got a hair cut. 2) I’m no longer wearing my wedding ring. It still fits but my doctor advised me to take it off because “you won’t notice the gradual change and then one day you’ll wake up and it’ll be stuck and you’ll have to get it cut off.” That was enough to scare me. So I’m ringless for a while. I think I will go buy a cheapy ring because I feel naked and keep having panic attacks that I’ve lost my ring. And also I don’t want strangers thinking, “Oh poor knocked up single girl… Life is going to be rough for her!” (I know it doesn’t really matter what they think but it does to me… so hush!)

Those are all of my updates! I hope they were thrilling!

(ToT will be posted shortly.)

August 2, 2010 at 8:50 am 14 comments

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