Posts tagged ‘Shaving Your Dog’

Cliffhangers

I have a love/hate relationship with season finales. I love them because they are generally pretty excellent shows. The writers always provide a lot of drama and excitement and some sort of change. But I hate them because they always leave me with questions. I thought I was going to die the year Friends announced Rachel was pregnant and didn’t tell us who the dad was.

With that being said, I realize I owe you all an apology. And a few answers. I’ve received a bunch of emails and facebook messages lately and I thought I’d address your questions. I’m sorry for leaving you hanging.

Where did your links go?
I’ve gotten this question multiple times, specifically regarding my recipe blog. The links disappeared a few weeks ago and instead of figuring out why, I just decided to wait until the new design was released and figure it out then. So as of yesterday, the links are back. But this time, my Blogroll is more comprehensive and includes many more links. Look at the top with all the tabs. See it? When you have some time to kill, look around.

And stay tuned to those tabs. I have a few more coming in the next week or so.

Why don’t you Twitter?
Because I think it’s dumb. I’m allowed to think that Twitter is dumb without thinking you are dumb, okay?! Here are my reasons for abstaining from Twitter mania:

  1. I’m not that interesting. It’s true. 100% of the interesting things that happen in my life are blogged. If I “tweet” them, what will I blog about?
  2. I don’t want another thing taking up my time and attention.
  3. I don’t care. I don’t want to read other people’s tweets, so why would they want to read mine?

If I’m famous one day and someone wants to pay my to join Twitter, I’ll do it. Or if you want to pay me, I’ll do it. You can sponsor me. “This Tweet was brought to you by _______.” I charge $20 per tweet – you can’t afford me. Anyways, no, I’m not joining Twitter. I know all the cool kids are doing it but I’m not a cool kid.

Is Rookie’s hair growing back?
I’m so thankful that you’re concerned! I thought it was just me. Yes, her fur is growing back and she is returning to her normal color. We have decided never to shave her again. It didn’t help the shedding problem. Rookie’s undercoat is the part that sheds, but her overcoat is the part that was shaved. So we were just left with an ugly, shedding dog. Lesson learned.

How was your friend date?
I know some of you are under the assumption that my friend date didn’t go well since I haven’t written about it. Or you think that I can’t say much since she reads this. You’re wrong. Our friend date went splendidly. We met for brunch and talked for 4 hours. I’d probably say it was better than 99% of real first dates I have ever been on. (Obviously my first official date with Stephen was better… we kissed for 30 minutes in the Zen parking lot. It was very Zen.) Tonight is date number 2. We’re bringing the husbands along!

I think I’ve tied up all of the loose ends. If there is something else, I apologize. You can reprimand me in the comments and I’ll spend countless hours trying to make it up to you.

June 23, 2009 at 10:02 am 10 comments

Weighing The Pros and Cons

Life is all about balance. Give and take. Every decision we ever have to make has options that could be considered. Sometimes we ignore the other options and take the bad with the good. Example: This weekend I was in Alice, Texas visiting family. The church had a potluck after the service. I ate a finger sandwich, some veggies, deviled eggs, etc. and then, of course, I visited the dessert table. Little old Presbyterian ladies make great desserts. Then we got back to my aunt and uncle’s house and I ate another Saltine Surprise because, well, have you had Saltine Surprises?? And these were made with dark chocolate. So… I really had no choice. A couple hours went by of reading and holding baby Sophie (more on her tomorrow!) and I was still feeling quite full. I pulled the ultimate fat girl move and put on athletic shorts with elastic. (Elastic that was digging into my gut and turning me into a human play-dough spaghetti maker thingy.) But then my cousin asked, “Do you want a piece of pie?” Do I want a piece of pie? That ridiculously amazing homemade chocolate cream pie that my uncle made? Let-me-think-about-that-for-a-second-Yes!  In this instance, there really are no other options. If I opt out of my 3rd (who are we kidding.. 7th) dessert of the day, I may feel a little better, I may not bust the elastic on my shorts that were purchased in the men’s section of Old Navy. But I’d regret it. Forever. Because that pie rocks. In this instance, the other options don’t matter.

 

But sometimes other options matter. Sometimes the pros and cons should be weighed. At one point, I considered quitting Chapstick. For those of you who don’t know, I am severely addicted to Chapstick. (Classic Cherry to be more specific.) And by “severely” I mean that I always have a tube in my pocket. I apply at least 20 times each day (more, depending on what I eat). If I leave it at home, I have to stop and buy a new one. I haven’t gone an entire day without Chapstick in 8 years. I probably haven’t gone an entire two hours without Chapstick in 8 years. It takes me approximately 21 days to get through a tube. It’s bad. Really bad. So I considered quitting. I don’t want to be a slave to Chapstick for the rest of my life. But after some research, I compiled a list of pros and cons.

 

Pros:

-I’d save approximately $1.69 every 21 days. That comes out to $29.37 a year. Assuming I live another 55 years, that’s $1615.56 over my lifetime.

-I wouldn’t feel like killing myself every time I couldn’t get my hands on that tube of glory. My lifeline. My brand of cocaine. I would be a slave to nothing. (Except chocolate. And cheese. And sleep. Oh dear. I have issues.)

-I wouldn’t ruin any more clothes by accidentally leaving the tube in my jeans pocket when I throw them in the washing machine.

-My hair wouldn’t get stuck on my lips when it’s windy.

-That’s it. That’s all the pros.

 

Cons:

-I might die.

-My lips would bleed for a few weeks until they learned to make moisture on their own again. (This is one of those instances where “use it or lose it” applies.)

-I might die.

-I would cry and Stephen would have to put up with me.

-Each time the weather was dry or I went to Colorado, I’d tempt my addiction again.

-I would die.

 

So that’s that. Not quitting. The mere thought of it makes me sweat and my heart rate accelerates to a point that makes me question my safety. I’m getting a headache just thinking about quitting. Not going to happen. Glad I considered my pros and cons on that one.

 

Have you ever made a decision after weighing your pros and cons and then later realized that your one con should have heavily out-weighed your list or pros? Stephen wanted to shave Rookie. A lot of people in Texas shave their dog in the summer. A lot of people in Texas also have outside dogs. We do not. In my opinion, Rookie’s thick fur wasn’t going to kill her in our 70 degree, fully AC’ed house. But whatever. The girl has got to pee and I suppose it’s possible that she could pass out in the 2 minutes she’s outside sniffing out her next pit stop. Also, she sheds a lot. Our house is constantly covered in dog fur. We sweep about every 2-4 days. Each time, we sweep up so much hair that we could build Rookie a litter of baby-Rookies. So shaving her would (supposedly) cut down on all the shedding. Two pros. That’s what Stephen came up with.

 

I only had one con. She’d look ugly. I think shaved dogs are ugly. They have bushy faces and bushy tails but their bodies are skinny and weird looking. I don’t like it. And I don’t want an ugly dog. But after half of the family argued “the only difference between a bad haircut and a good one is a couple weeks,” Stephen won. Two pros (to the untrained eye) appeared to outweigh my one measly con.

 

Maybe now if I take all of Rookie’s old beautiful fur and put in on my con side of the scale, it would tip in my favor and I can win and this will never happen again:

 

My naked dog.

My naked dog...

...that no longer looks like my sweet Rookie. She now looks like a moose. Or a deer.

...that no longer looks like my sweet Rookie. She now looks like a moose. Or a deer.

You can't tell but I'm dangerously close to tears. Mourning the loss of my beautiful BLACK pup is not enjoyable.

You can't tell but I'm dangerously close to tears. Mourning the loss of my beautiful BLACK pup is not enjoyable.

 

Cons: She is ugly as sin and I no longer want to cuddle her. She doesn’t feel like my Rookie.

Pros: They say blondes have more fun…

May 18, 2009 at 10:14 am 12 comments


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