Ten on Tuesday (17)

Hello ToTers! Welcome to another week of pointless questions. I’m excited! This week’s batch comes from Miss Kyla Roma. Check her out and thank her for her questions. She’s never actually participated in a ToT and I’m not sure she’ll start this week, but she enjoys reading your answers.

1. Fill in the blank. Sometimes I wish my life was more ______.
Sometimes I wish my life was more relaxing and filled with money. I’d love to be able to not work and spend time on hobbies and learning how to clean my house. I can’t afford that though. As it is now, I get home from work at 6 and then cook dinner. By the time that’s overwith I just want to sit on the couch and watch television with Stephen. The dirty house is overwhelming and I don’t know how to start. So maybe I should say “sometimes (all the time) I wish my life was more clean.”

2. How do you cure the hiccups?
A spoonful of sugar. True story. Try it.

I won’t name names because I don’t want to embarrass anyone… but I know someone who thinks he can cure his hiccups by flexing something or doing something in his throat. I think not. 

3. What are three of your favorite indulgences?
Java Chip Fraps with Peppermint – Pure bliss.
Chelsea Lately – Hilarious but often filthy.
Fresh, hot pizza – I love it so much that I always burn the roof of my mouth.

4. Where is the most exotic place you would like to travel to? The most mundane?
Most exotic? I’m not sure what makes something exotic. I’ll say Hawaii.

Most mundane? Alice, Texas. A very very small town located in south Texas. Not a whole lot to do there but I have family there so it’s always a great trip.

5. Does having your time planned out stress you or relax you?
Relaxes me. I love my planner. I love meal plans. I love planning my blog posts. I love planning. If anything happens spontaneously, it throws me off and I have a hard time adjusting. Stephen doesn’t understand this. He probably thinks I’m a psycho on some level. For better or worse baby!

6. What are your favourite fabrics to wear?
Can you tell she’s Canadian? One of my all time favourite things to wear in general is a comfy cotton dress on a hot summer day. It’s flattering, cozy, breezy, lovely.

7. Do you sleep through the night?
Not even a little bit. Any noise wakes me up. Plus my bladder is the size of a ping pong ball so I have to get up to pee at least once every night. The worst part of it is hearing Stephen sleep heavily next to me while I toss and turn.

8. When you were younger, what did you think you would be doing at this age? How close is that to what you are doing?
I thought I’d graduate from UT at 22, get married at 22, and have a baby at 24. I thought I’d stay at home with my baby while my husband brought home the bacon. I’m pretty close to that but have no complaints. I graduated from UT at 22 and got married at 22. I’m now 25 and, as you know, there is no little Hurstling residing in Hurst Castle. Also, I’m not staying at home. I’m responsible for bringing home part of the bacon. See next question.

9. What has surprised you most about growing up?
All things money related. I had no idea how much things cost and what a normal salary was. I never realized that not all new moms stay home with their babies. I didn’t realize that we wouldn’t be able replace our stained carpet without saving saving saving. I didn’t realize that vacations were something to be treasured because some companies give JACK SQUAT for vacation time and even if we did have time, we couldn’t afford to go anywhere anyways.

10. Are you good at keeping secrets?
I like to think so. I’m not a big fan of secrets in general. Plus, I am of the opinion that telling Stephen is still considered “keeping the secret.” So I guess, you be the judge.

That’s all she wrote. Now it’s your turn. Click the logo to add your link or to visit others who are participating.

Even Bloggers Get Tired

I had big plans to write all about my weekend at Mardi Gras in Galveston. Big big plans. I was going to tell you about the parades, the house, my family, the food. But then last night I went to the other side of the world to watch the Superbowl at Lauren’s house and now I’m tired. We drove from Galveston to the other side of the world (about 2 hours) and then from the other side of the world to our house (a bit over an hour) and I don’t feel like telling any stories. Maybe I’ll tell you about it later this week.

I just wanted to check in to tell you that the Ten on Tuesday questions are posted. I think this week’s are pretty good. If you have a batch to submit, send them my way! chelsea(at)rootsandrings(dot)com.

Also, I wanted to show you this picture.

I do believe I have the cutest niece in the world. Need more proof?

So that’s all I’ve got to offer you today. But I doubt that you mind. Avery pictures are better than my stories any day!

How was your weekend?

Seven Quick Takes – With A Picture of Avery

Was it just me or was this week 18 days long? I think God is messing with us. Hey God, it’s not funny.

Click the logo below to visit the other Quick Takers.

1.
I don’t know how the weather is in your parts, but here in Houston we are experiencing The Great Flood Part Deux. As of this morning, it has settled down a bit but it’s still cold and dreary and spitty. It’s really starting to annoy me. It’s February… which means that we should be expecting a few random warm days here. But no. Instead it’s cold with a few random freezing days. This is not okay.

2.
Every morning when I’m getting ready for work, Rookie lays behind me at my vanity. When I blow dry my hair I point the blow dryer at her to annoy her. She gives me about 3 seconds and then runs away to tell on me to her daddy. Yesterday morning she was a bit feisty. I aimed it at her and she shook her head. I laughed and did it again. She itched her ear and shook her head. I laughed and did it again. Over and over I aimed the blow dryer at her and over and over she shook her head, scratched her ears, and threw herself on the ground to wiggle around upside down. It totally made my morning!

3.
Sometimes I reread blog posts and think, “Hey, that was kind of funny!” But then sometimes I reread them and think, “Why does anyone care? What am I doing?” Blogging is weird.

4.
Side note on yesterday’s post. We’re not rich. Please don’t misread. And the Star Trek doors are just sliding doors, apparently those were cool in the ‘60. As were brick floors, wallpaper, and push button stoves.

5.
I’ve been seeing my chiropractor on a regular basis. She’s a friend of mine and lets me come to her house and see her for free. (Praise God!) I have noticed a significant improvement in my headaches and carpal tunnel. If you suffer from either, get yourself a GOOD chiropractor. And if you’re in Houston, let me know because I’ll hook you up with mine. I used to get headaches on a daily basis but I’m down to about once a week now. It’s incredible!

6.
I still haven’t figured out what’s wrong with my Contact Me tab. Every now and then I’ll get a message from it but it’s pretty random. So let me repeat this: if you need the address for the book swap, leave a comment to tell me to send it. Also, if you have a batch of Ten on Tuesday questions for me, you’ll need to email them to me. If I’ve ever responded to one of your comments, you have my email address. If not, just leave a comment that says, “Email me lady!” and I’ll do it. Or you could just email me at chelsea (at) rootsandrings (dot) com… that works too.

7.
I have an exciting weekend ahead of me. Mardi Gras parades begin in Galveston this weekend so my family is going to go to a few. We’ll stay at my parents’ beautiful house down there and celebrate my SIL’s birthday. On Sunday, Stephen and I are going to drive halfway across the state of Texas to watch the game eat good food with Lauren and Michael. Which probably means I’m going to be exhausted on Monday and be dying for another weekend.

I’ll leave you with a picture of my beautiful niece! (Oh and my brother and sister-in-law. They are beautiful too!)

Things You Didn’t Know About Stephen and Chelsea

Hi gang, Stephen’s friend Wes here. You may remember me from such R&R blog posts as, “When Stephen Busted His Face Open.” Anyway, Chelsea’s fingers were too tired to blog today, so she outsourced it to me. Sadly, I agreed immediately and didn’t get a chance to talk to her about the important nuances of blogging, like “What kinds of things do your readers like to hear about?” and “How much will I get paid?” The only thing she told me was that my post had to be long enough that you have to scroll a little to read it all. So I decided to write about some little known facts about Stephen and Chelsea for those of you who don’t hang out at their house very often, and to make sure it’s long enough, I’ve added some details that are funny enough to be almost true.

1. Stephen and Chelsea’s house is deceptively large. I think it’s bigger on the inside than it looks on the outside. It seems like every time Stephen wants to show me something new, there’s an entire new room I’ve never seen before hidden down that back hallway. “You didn’t know about the scrapbooking room?” says Stephen. “Come on, I’ll show you, it’s between the guest bedroom and the walk-in humidor.”  The bathrooms are unique too. One of them has Star Trek doors (except you have to work them yourself and they don’t make the noise), and the other bathroom has an outside door. You can enter the house through that bathroom.  I think that could catch on, especially for families who have relatives that don’t get enough showers. Just tell them that’s the entry to the house and that you insist everyone freshen up before entering, just like they do in Europe.
2. Chelsea has a push-button stove. It sounds pretty modern, but don’t let that fool you.
   You can’t tell from this picture, but the buttons are labeled “Low”, “Medium”, “High”, “Puree”, and “Whip”.
3. Stephen has swords. A lot of them. If I’m ever stabbed by a sword again, you should tell the police that Stephen is your top suspect. I say “again” because I’ve already been stabbed by a sword… one of Stephen’s swords, actually. It was one of those fancy cane swords that paranoid old men carry. I was looking at it and trying to put it back in the cane when Stephen said, “Careful, it’s pretty sharp,” and then I noticed I was bleeding.
4. The apron hook in their kitchen is probably the most overloaded piece of metal in their house.

   There’s an even dozen of them at least. Who needs this many aprons? But the craziest thing is that in all of the fabulous meals I’ve had at their house, I’ve never seen Chelsea wear one. So the only possible explanation I have is that these are actually Stephen’s aprons.

5. One of the funny things about hanging out with Stephen and Chelsea is the look Chelsea gets on her face when Stephen says something outlandish. This happens often so I’m pretty familiar with it. Stephen will say something shocking (or inappropriate) and instead of looking embarrassed or shocked or angry, Chelsea just looks bemused – like she’s saying, Yeah, I know, he said it, he’s crazy. But honestly, we encourage Stephen’s crazy side to come out in conversation. Sure it’s entertaining, but it’s also great blackmail fodder for when he runs for higher office. Stephen says he got a BA in political science at UT, but I think he really got a BS.
6. Stephen is a terrible poker player. I don’t mean that he loses a lot (then I’d say he was an excellent poker opponent). It’s just that all of the action comes to a screeching halt when it gets to him. It’s like playing cards with a four-year-old at the table. He sees something sparkly and his mind goes away and we spend five minutes getting his attention back. And despite all this he wins money! It’s probably just a very clever ruse to distract us into losing money to him.
7. Chelsea has all of their DVDs in alphabetical order. I highly respect her level of discipline and control. She is definitely the organized one in that household. If I want to invite Stephen to something, I call Chelsea and she tells me if he can go or not. She has a list on the side of the refrigerator listing what they’re going to have for dinner every night that week. It’s very convenient for Chelsea for meal planning and grocery shopping. It’s also very convenient for me, since I know what nights are better for me to “just be in the neighborhood” at dinnertime. “Oh hi guys, just happened to be driving by… say, is that steak I smell?”
8. Chelsea is a huge baseball fan. That was a shocker for me. Sure, her cousin pitches for Rice, but she was a fan even before that. She ran the UT baseball fan club. I just checked – UT is a preseason #1 pick, they’ve been to the College World Series six times in the past ten years, and they won it all in 2005 while Chelsea was there (I think). Coincidence? I don’t know, but if the baseball team was that good, imagine how good the booster club must have been.

There you go, a little slice of life from Hurst Castle. To sum it up, it’s a little crazy sometimes but always fun. Did I miss anything? Definitely add your observations to the comments if you know something I don’t.

Loser 9.05: We Almost Got Rid of Them

They started with a review of the phone calls from last week. Actually, not a review of them… they replayed them. Why? I’m sure we’ll see that some sort of emotional battle is about to happen. AHHHHH I SEE. It’s last week’s episode and for some reason it’s on an hour later. Did any of you know this?? If you knew and didn’t tell me, you’re in trouble.

(Excuse my while I let my laptop go to sleep and I watch Ace of Cakes. See you in an hour.)

And we’re back. (I thought you should know that I ate a piece of cheesecake during that break. We’re all about honesty here at Roots & Rings.) So now Miggy is there without her daughter which means she’s going to crash and burn, or she’s going to need to learn to make friends. At 2 in the morning 911 was called for Miggy. She was suffering severe abdominal pain so they took her to the hospital.

UGH, why does Alison get all the cute clothes? I love her black ruffley top! Everyone gathered around outside and the blue and yellow team arrived from home. They headed to the gym to weigh in but we’re surprised with Bob and Jillian there for a last chance workout. Fun times. Now on to the weigh in. The winning team not only gets immunity but they also get the only vote in this week’s elimination. Holy cow. That is bittersweet… and not a great way to make friends.

Blue: Cherita (24) & Victoria (39) – Total weight loss: 63 pounds – 9.92%
Yellow: Sunshine (25) & O’Neal (51) – Total weight loss: 76 pounds – 11.45%

Welcome to the ranch yellow team. It’s time to work out.

I really want to see Daris succeed. I like that kid. Melissa looked like she was going through childbirth when she was doing that leg thing. She was having a freaking cow. Not like, giving birth to a cow. No, having a cow. Like freaking out. And she was screaming at Bob. Melissa, please don’t scream at Bob. We like him.

Daris rocks. I want to hug him. (Why does Jillian always wear the same gray v-neck? To show off her guns?)

Commercial music is playing. JennieO Turkey. Let’s make some chili! Where’s the Fritos and the shredded cheese?? That’s just not chili!

Challenge time! Of course it’s football themed because it’s Superbowl week. Winner gets immunity and loser gets a 2 pound disadvantage. The players had to hit the fake lineman 1000 times. This wasn’t the most entertaining challenge, to say the least. Snoozer. But at least it was based on winning because you’re good, not winning because you eliminated the good people. You know how I hate those. It came down to white and gray. White won and he immediately started yelling, “I did it mom!” even though his mom isn’t actually there anymore. I love the gray team, but I think Mike needed it.

Miggy is back. She had surgery to remove her appendix, a cyst, and something else that I couldn’t understand. That’s rough. So we’re learning that Mike and Miggy are actually friends. Who knew?

Yoplait Smoothie. Bob, don’t act like this is like a new thing that you are learning. DUMB.

Dr. H met with Miggy to check out her scar. He also told her that during surgery they poured in a bunch of salt water and she now has 8-9 pounds of salt water in her system. Shocker of all shockers: Miggy cried. Like lots of tears. But then she said some crap about how she’s a failure. Yeah, not so much.

I love last chance workout. Do I say that every week? O’Neal is a tough man. Did you see his focus eyes? Pink team has no focus eyes. They have quit eyes. Ashley finally came out with the truth- she’s suffering because of her dad’s death. Yep, that’ll do it. Can’t say I blame her.

Love love love the interaction between purple girl and Sunshine! The joy on their faces! THIS is why I love this show! (Y’all, there have been so many typos. I need to cut my fingernails in a seriously bad way.) Bob had the contestants do yoga after their workout. Bob rocks at yoga. Get his DVD, for serious. (NBC, want to pay me for that endorsement?)

On to the weigh in. Everyone is nervous about this one.

Yellow: Sunshine (5) & O’Neal (5) – 1.7% Gameplay maybe? No shame.
White: Michael (13) – 2.85% Definitely no gameplay. Why not?
Pink: Ashley (9) & Sherry (6) – 2.54% Impressive Ashley!
Red: Melissa (5) & Lance (4) – 1.73% What the what?
Orange: Cheryl (3) & Daris (12) – 3.05% Yay Daris!!
Purple: Stephanie (5) – 2.17% Stephen just said, “Is she wearing a Bumpit?”
Gray: Sam (10) & Koli (6) – 2.42% Phew! My faves.
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (8) – 2.10%
Green: Miggy (5) – 2.37% This actually makes me happy because it puts the red team lower.
Brown: John (6) – % Crap crap crap!

No deliberation. John is the only one below the yellow line so he’s automatically sent home. Everyone cried. I love that guy. I wish him all the best at home and hope he kicks lots of butt! Started at 484, now at 380. He shaved. Whoo hoo! Dear goodness, his son is cute!

Next week: Individuals! And some drama, of course.

Ten on Tuesday (16)

This week’s batch comes from Lauren from Little Loves. Go say hello!

1. What is your favorite travel destination spot?
Anything with a warm beach. Seriously, even Galveston. I also love Disney World and New York. All for different reasons, obviously. But I wouldn’t turn down a free trip to any of those places.

2. Cats vs. Dogs.
I don’t really know how this is even a question. Dogs all the way. The have personalities, they love people, they do tricks, and they don’t rip your pants for fun.

3. Do you believe in fate?
Yes and no. I believe that things are meant to happen and can happen spontaneously and look to be “coincidence.” But I believe that God has the power, the universe doesn’t. Fate didn’t bring Stephen and I together, God did.

4. Do you believe in karma?
No. But I still believe you should treat people well.

5. Everyone has a unique laugh. Do you like yours?
Not really. I usually am a silent laugher or a big smiler. I don’t have a really fun, contagious laugh. Every now and then I can have a laugh that makes noise. When I really get going, I cry and my nose turns read and my eyes turn bright bright green. It really ugly.

6. Is love really all you need?
Well, no. But yes. Since God is love, all you need is love. But in the world’s view of love, no. That’s not all you need. If that’s all you needed, why would the world constantly be trying to find other sources of happiness? So in sum, you need God and probably some chocolate.

7. What’s your take on the whole 2012 scare?
I don’t know anything about the 2012 scare. So my take on it? It’s not very scary.

8. If you won a million dollars and had to give it all away, who would you give it to? (Family and friends not included.)
I would split it 4 ways. I would give a portion to my church, a portion to our old church in Austin, a portion to the Passion organization, and a portion to Makarios (a missions organization that a friend of mine is involed in). 

9. Do you believe in God/religion/the power of prayer?
I think this is pretty obvious. I most definitely believe in God and the power of prayer. I think the word “religion” is disgusting. But I kind of don’t want to get into that. It rubs me wrong when people say, “I feel that I am a religious person.” And I apologize to any of you that wrote that as you #9 today. It’s not personal, it’s just a thing I have.

10. What New Year’s Resolution do you always make but never keep?
I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. And for that reason alone, I’ve never quit one.

Your turn!

Because You Asked

First thing is first. Apparently the Contact Me tab isn’t always allowing you to contact me. Which, umm, what’s the point? Word on the street is that a few of you have contacted me multiple times to get the address for the book swap but haven’t heard back from me. That’s not me. I check my email approximately 73,927 times each day and respond almost instantly. So (this is very important) if you haven’t heard back from me and still want the address for the swap, leave a comment in today’s post and I’ll send it to you. I’m so sorry about this and I plan to do some research with the WordPress people to figure out what the heck is going on. We’re pushing the date back a week so everyone gets a chance to get their book in.

Okay then. Moving on. Time to tackle a few of your questions!

What kind of car do you drive? What kind of car would you like to drive one day?
From timlinzrowland.

I used to drive a Chrystler Concorde but it passed away last January so we had to pick out a new car. We debated between an Altima and a Murano. We went back and forth a bit but decided on the Murano because we’d never had an SUV and thought it would be fun. We really like it. In the future, I’d like to have sort of big truck that looks very tough and Texan.

What’s your favorite Starbucks drink?
From Vanessa.

Hmmm, this is tough. It depends on my mood and the season. I love the white chocolate mochas with a nice sprinkling of cinnamon. I also love love love the java chip frappachino with peppermint even though it’s about 17,000 calories. During fall I love the pumpkin spice latte and during Christmas I like the gingerbread latte. So yeah, in sum, I can’t decide.

What’s you favorite thing about blogging?
From Vanessa.

Favorite? Sheesh! These favorite questions are tough. Honestly, I love having an outlet to write about whatever I want. Sometimes it’s a challenge since I’m a psycho who has committed to post everyday. But the challenge forces me to be creative. A verrry close second is the relationships I’ve made. I had no idea that you could actually get to know strangers through blogging. It’s been a very pleasant surprise. So thanks to those of you who aren’t just lurking, those of you who chime in and share your stories and allow me to get to know you as well.

How did you come up with Roots & Rings?
From Southern Gal.

The story is on the About Me tab. But I’ll share it again. A very short two days after Stephen and I bought Hurst Castle, we had a small, um, flood. A friend of ours was staying with us to help us move. While Stephen and I were at work, he hung out at our house watching movies. Apparently in the morning he went to the bathroom and then went into the living room and watched a couple movies. He didn’t know that the toilet was clogged and it was still running. A long while later, he figured it out. After I had a bit of a melt down and severe case of buyer’s remorse, we learned that this was caused by a giant root in the toilet pipe. And by giant root, I mean… giant root.

So that’s where the root comes in. The ring is my wedding ring. In essence, this blog is the stories (both bad and good) that Stephen and I experience. Get it? You may all go hurl now.

That’s a good start. I’ll tackle a few more at another time. If you have more to add (like “Holy cow, did Stephen have a beard for a long time? How do you feel about that?”) then ask away.

ToT questions will be posted sometime today.

Seven Quick Takes – I’ve Lost Count So You’ll Get More Random Titles Now

I love Quick Takes Friday – it allows me to compile all my random bits into a nice package I can give you. You’re welcome. Click the logo below to visit my Quick Takers.

1.
I feel that I should address this, even though I don’t want to. I’d rather make you squirm and email me with winky faces. I’ve been on a guest post kick lately because I know so many talented, funny people. Each guest blogger is allowed to write about whatever they wish and promote their blog however they want. John is an almost-daddy who writes about almost-daddy things. So that’s what his guest blog was about. But if you want to think otherwise, be my guest. I can out-wink you any day.

2.
I’m making a dark chocolate cheesecake tonight. Tomorrow I’m going to Lauren’s house to hang out in our PJ’s and drink wine and eat cheesecake. Doesn’t it sound like bliss? She rented Shop Around the Corner and swore she wouldn’t watch it without me. I’m super excited!

3.
I don’t want to talk about how much laundry I need to do this weekend. See. This is me… not talking about it.

4.
I’m considering taking a knitting class or a sewing class. I can’t do both because I just don’t have that much time in my day to devote to two different hobbies. I think knitting has a great appeal because you can take it with you. But sewing seems fun because you can do more with it. But then there’s the whole problem of not having a sewing machine. So now, you see, I’m confused.

5.
Last night I made this spaghetti sauce I saw on Smitten Kitchen. It’s just canned tomatoes, butter, and onion. Everyone swears it’s the best. So I thought I’d give it a go. My review? Delicious taste, a bit runny. I think next time I’ll add an extra can of tomatoes but DRAIN it so there is less juice.

6.
Normally I’d show you a picture of Avery right now since I saw her last night. But I was a bad aunt and didn’t take any pictures. I will now put myself in the corner.

7.
If you still need the address for the Book Swap, use the Contact Me tab at the top. Or just leave a comment in this post and I’ll email it to you. Make sure you read through the Book Swap tab to learn all the details. You should participate because you have the chance to get a book from my very cool aunt. Wouldn’t that be fun? I’ve heard from a few of you that you are waiting on Amazon to ship your book. Please let me know if you need me to push the date back a bit. I have no problem doing that if it means that more of you can participate. I bought my book at Half Price earlier this week. It’s chick lit fluff!

Handling a Pregnant Wife

Good day everyone.  My name is John and I’m filling in today for Chelsea.  She’s out grabbing some lunch and doing her nails while skydiving.  She told me they dry faster that way.  I write a blog called Fatherhoody.

I wanted to get the word out to all you ladies and to any husbands that might be reading though, there are certain things you must do to handle a pregnant wife.  My wife and I found out we were pregnant way back in 2009.  That’s like… a year ago (2010-2009 = 1).  That also means we’re getting closer and closer each day to her popping out a small human.  (The human will grow to be a larger human and eventually go on to play right field for the St. Louis Cardinals, make millions of dollars, and place me into a very nice retirement home.)  Anyway, as we approach A-Day (arrival day) a husband must care for his pregnant wife in a very different way than one would care for a non-pregnant wife.

You see, the Pregnant Wife (Wifius Pregnasius), is a creature like no other.  She can be emotional.  She will always be tired (and will always use the word exhausted to describe her current state).  She will also always be uncomfortable.  She’ll be uncomfortable standing, sitting, sleeping, driving, walking, running, jogging, especially jump roping and always when mountain climbing.  Therefore, as the helper of Wifius Pregnasius the Husband of Pregnant Wife (Husbandian Wifius Pregnasius) must use the following advice to keep things happy in the household.

1. Act Excited About Everything. A request to do the dishes for her on a night should be met with the following: “You want me to do the dishes?  I’D LOVE TO DO THE DISHES!”  During statements such as these keep your voice pitch an octave higher than usual to show extra excitement.  Also, be extra excited about doing anything outside the home.  It is very difficult for Wifius Pregnasius to get the energy to leave the nest, so if the opportunity arises make sure you act like she just asked you to be her date to every single game of the 2010 St. Louis Cardinals season and you get to sit right behind home plate and wave to it throughout the whole game while on your cell phone.  “WHAT??  You want to go to Target to look at maternity tops??  Oh my GOSH!!! I was just thinking how I’d love to go to Target and do some shopping!  I’m so glad you thought of it too!” If Husband does not act excited, there could be tears involved.
2. Strength Training.  As Wifius Pregnasius enters into the third trimester, the Husband must be prepared to help her with every larger scale movement.  This means any movement that is more than one step forward.  Getting up from the chair?  A Husband must have an arm extended.  Getting up from the floor? Husband must have arm at the ready.  In the middle of the night and she needs to turn over?  Husband must have arm raised throughout night for her to grab onto.  (If arm is not raised, she will punch you in the face.  It’s happened to me.)
3. Help Out a Little More.  Wifius Pregnasius is growing a human.  Husbandian Wifius Pregnasius had no pain in making said human (in fact, he had a pretty good time creating said human).  Therefore, it’s the least Husband can do to take on a couple more chores than usual and maybe even make the bed… even if it is his most hated chore in the world.
4. Entertain.  Wifius Pregnasius will encounter incredible mood swings.  These will mostly occur when she is “exhausted” and it will usually end with her being quite depressed for no reason.  There is very little Husband can do to prevent this sadness.  (“Hi honey!  I just brought home a million dollars!”  will lead to “That makes me so sad…” which will lead to “Why are you sad?” which will lead to “I don’t know!!!!” and a tear.)  Therefore, it is up to Husband to find someway, anyway, to make Wife happy.  It’s a difficult task, but for my wife, there’s one thing that can put a smile on her face.  Me dancing.  (Now, before you hit play, I should have you know that this was a very big debate in the house about whether this was for the “internet” or just for the “family”.  I sided on the side of “internet”.  Wife sided on the side of “family” fearing she will be forever embarrassed by sharing my incredible talent with the world.  I’m not quite sure one would be embarrassed when they are met with award winning style points.)

John Dancing for Pregnant Wife

And people… I want you to realize that that was pure talent without any music or a beat.  Eat your heart out dancing reality show peoples.

So there you have it folks.  Four suggestions to help both Husband and Wife make it through nine incredible months of amazing joy, amazing trials, and an absolutely amazing journey.  God bless.

See you at the hood… Fatherhoody that is. (That was a dumb way to sign off… sorry.)

Loser 9:04: A Great Episode Without Any Good Quotes

Michael’s mom is gone and he’s sad about it. The contestants talked to him about his attitude and his work. He said he’s going to step it up. We’ll see.

Pop challenge. Run The Presidential Mile, grab a key card, come back and test the key. You can either get a check or an x. The first team to three checks, wins immunity. My guess is that the Presidential Mile is not actually a mile. Tough break for Michael, can’t get a good card! My guess is also that I want Alison’s coat. Poor purple girl isn’t getting anything either! And lookie there, the red team won immunity.

“With great power comes great responsibility.” The red ream team had to give out three envelopes: No Gym Access, No Elimination Vote, and 2 Pound Disadvantage. I think this is mean. This is Biggest Loser asking for drama. It’s not fair to the red team. No Gym Access went to John who spent most of his time in the pool (smart). They gave the No Vote to Michael so he wouldn’t make any rash moves this week based on hard feelings (smart). And they gave the 2 Pounds to the green team since they had a bad week last week and they hoped they’d have a good one (not a BAD move, any choice they made would have been bad). GREEN TEAM IS NASTY. Nasty.

Bob decides to talk to the red team about the weigh in. Melissa is sticking with her story that she isn’t playing the game. He’s choosing to just drop it. Bob and Jillian sneakily separate Lance from the group so Jillian can confront him. He’s sticking to the story as well and has also decided that he’d no longer like to work with Jillian because he doesn’t respect her. NICE MOVE. Be mad and refuse help from the best trainer in the world. Very very smart.

I think at this point, Melissa has convinced herself that she’s not playing the game. Biggest Loser Simple Swaps. Melissa has convinced Lance to go back and give Jillian a shot because they need her. Ziplock.

Challenge time. Alison is look like a cute little construction worker. They don’t look like that in real life, trust me, I know. The players have to pull themselves up 120 feet in this contraption. The winner gets phone calls from home and the ability to give phone calls to three other teams. Green team is immediately pissed because they think they won’t get chosen. Well, YEAH. Maybe if you smile every now and then! This is brutal, it’s a lot harder than I originally though it looked. Hate the red team if you want, but man alive, they are fighters. Gray team won. Atta boys. “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry on this damn show.”

They chose to give the calls to the red team, the green team (who didn’t cry… what?), and the brown team John. Great choices dudes!!! The phone calls always pull on your heartstrings. They also give you a little glimpse into their home lives, which I like.

Brita. Subway. Bob takes he contestants to Subway for their lesson on eating then takes them outside for their last chance workout. He points to a mountain and tells them they are climbing. Daris (orange team) starts running back and forth to get extra exercise in. Well done! Then ask they reached the bottom of he mountain, Jillian was waiting o put them through more hell. Man, she really made them do some crappy stuff. Throwing giant rocks and chasing them, pushing each other in wheelbarrows, crawling. Fun stuff. They actually looked like they were having fun.

Weigh in time! Alison has ruffles and a bumpit. Ugh, she’s so cute. Let’s just say that I’ve had it with the green team. I’m ready for them to go.

Red: Melissa (11) & Lance (6) – 3.16% Immunity
White: Michael (15) – 3.18% He’s lost 70 pounds is 4 weeks!
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (10) – 2.37%
Orange: Cheryl (6) & Daris (6) – 2.38%
Pink: Ashley (7) & Sherry (4) – 2.10%
Brown: John (10) – 2.29%
Gray: Sam (14) & Koli (12) – 3.78% Rockstars!
Purple: Stephanie (6) – 2.54%
Green: Migdalia (4) & Miggy (1) – .67% — arms crossed, angry at the world. (For the record, the 2 pound disadvantage didn’t matter.) 

OH THE GREEN TEAM! Awful. Bitter. Angry. Migdalia started crying and Miggy told her not to cry. NOT OKAY. We are women. WOMEN CRY. So then they screamed at the rest of the contestants to vote Migdalia off. Whoa nelly. These women. There are just no words.

The contestants voted Migdalia off- just barely. She started at 265 and is now 219. I have nothing else to say.

Anyone see the preview? We watched it on DVR so we missed it.