Well Hello There, Monday

I really have no idea where this post is going, but I do know that I have a couple things to cover. It could be an adventure to see how we get there and where we end up.

I’m currently sipping this fantastical chocolate cherry port that we bought from a local winery. I’m normally a white wine sort of gal but I’m making an effort to be an equal opportunity boozer. Bagillions of people love red wine, why can’t I? I’m getting there, friends. Unfortunately as it stands, the two that I enjoy are not in my typical under $10 price range. Stephen and I are quite frugal but I think we’ve decided that a little splurge here and there could make us quite happy.

I had a great weekend. On Friday, Stephen and I stopped at Old Navy so I could buy my first pair of non-maternity jeans in over a year. I’ve been in denial because it’s really difficult to purchase jeans in bigger sizes. It feels like you’re losing, like you’re giving in. But I am so ridiculously tired of my maternity jeans so I gave in. I found two pairs that look good and don’t make me feel bad about my mommy hips. And because God loves me and wants me to be happy, He put a $15 pair of jeggings in my path. They are two sizes larger than my pre-pregnancy size, but I think I’ll just cut off the tag and pretend the are tiny.

Saturday was productive. Jansen slept about 23 out of 24 hours which allowed Stephen and I to do things. Me? I slept. Jansen woke up at 6:30 to eat so I fed him and we went back to sleep until 9:30. It was grand. Then I did random things around the house. Stephen spent about 2 hours on the roof smearing tar all over random holes. We have a couple holes that we’ve been unable to patch. So he bought a can of roof tar the size of Tallahassee (if Tallahassee is huge) and went to town. Unfortunately we found out later that night during The Rainstorm of 2011 that one of the holes is still not patched. Let me tell you, friends, that is enough to make a man go crazy.

Saturday evening I concentrated on keeping Jansen awake so he’d sleep later that night while Stephen made our ENTIRE HOUSE SMELL LIKE A SEWER. You see, he’s started a new hobby. Beer making. I’m a full supporter of this new hobby. It’s like a man’s version of crafting. And he’ll get to drink and share the final product, which I think is great. I just had no idea it was going to smell so bad. I told him that whenever he makes his second batch, I will be out of town that weekend on a Girl’s Trip.

This post certainly makes us sound like lushes.

Sunday was Stephen’s birthday. I now, as I do every year, feel like I’m married to an old man. He only turned 27 and I know that’s not actually old, but every year I feel like it is. This time last year he turned 26 and I kept saying, “Wow, we’re getting old.” Not the point though. The point is that it was his birthday and we had a great day. We started the day with Shipley’s donuts, went to church, and then went to my parents for lunch. His parents and his sister and her boyfriend came over and we all enjoyed crockpot chicken tacos a la Lauren From Texas. For dessert we had an apple crumble that my mom made. So good. That Barefoot Contessa knows what she’s doing.

My parents and his parents went in together and bought him an antique (looking) globe. It’s an item on his “I want to own before I die” list. It beautiful and makes me feel dumb, but he loves it and that makes me happy.

And that puts us here. It’s Sunday evening as I type this. I am watching Iron Chef, Stephen is playing guitar, and Jansen is frantically trying to eat his zoo animals fabric book. We’re one small happy family and the only wish I have at this point is for a few more days in this weekend.

I’m not sure if I covered everything on my agenda but I think we took a nice tour of the weekend.

I used random.org to find the winners of our Gumdrop Greetings giveaway. The name is a link and you should definitely check her out again because she added more items over the weekend. And if you buy a set, you are more than welcome to bless me with some snail mail!

I’m not fancy enough to show screen shots so I’ll just tell you the winners.

The winner of the Hello Pastel Notecards is comment #20, which is Taryn. And the winner of the Free Hug Coupon Mini Notecards is comment #31, which is Krys. Girls, I’ll get you in touch with Erin so you can get your goods.

Ten on Tuesday is posted.

That post wore me out. I’m going to bed.

Quick Takes On A Thursday

I have the day off tomorrow which means I probably won’t be blogging. (I don’t know why that really matters since I blog at night anyways.) I’m going to give myself a blogging three day weekend so I thought I’d do some quick takes today.

1.
Wordpress has quit emailing me my comments. WHY? It did this once before and I don’t remember why. I think it was a glitch and it fixed itself. Does anyone know anything that could help me at all?? I hate that I have to visit my own blog to see your comments.

2.
My baby is not feeling well. He’s a really happy baby but he is currently seriously super pissed off at the world. I’m not sure what’s going on. He doesn’t have a fever. I’m pretty sure it is tummy related since he kicks his legs and then pulls his knees up to him. He’s been having some serious spit up. I’m trying to be a chill momma and not freak out. Since he has no fever and he isn’t spitting up all his food, I think he’ll be okay. I’ll just keep a close eye on him so I can notice any changes right away.

3.
How many people bought Choco Vine last night?

4.
Every year my cousin gives all of the girls socks for Christmas. I don’t know how she does it but she always finds the most fun pairs! This year we got these red cable knit super long socks! They go up your calf and a drawstring around that top with pom poms on the end. SO CUTE. I look like I’m wearing cable knit boots. I even have my snowmen PJ pants tucked into them.

5.
Look at my Santa.

6.
Here’s another Christmas photo. Stephen’s hat is a bit scraggly. It came with his Santa pants (that you unfortunately can’t see in this picture) and it’s made out of stretchy material which is perfect since he has a very, very large head.

7.
I’m so excited about this weekend that I can hardly contain myself. Three mornings without an alarm clock!! I know, I know… I have a newborn. But little man is good about going back to sleep if I cuddle with him. So I’ll likely have to wake up at 7 or 8 and then we can go back to sleep for another hour or so. I think I could sleep the entire three days if it weren’t for food and potty necessities.

When Chocolate Meets Booze, Magic Happens

Every once in a while a product comes along that seems so off the wall that you swear the maker was high on NyQuil when he came up with it. I’m looking at you Snuggie. And the singing mounted fish. And any item in SkyMall.

The problem is that sometimes these weird products steal our hearts and we convince ourselves that they are a good idea. I own a Snuggie. My dad owns that singing Billy the Bass or whatever the heck it’s called. And sometimes I think I need every single product that SkyMall offers, however ridiculous they are. I remember the first time I saw jeggings in a store. I scoffed. Audibly. I swore that there was no way anyone I knew would ever wear a pair. I figured they’d be like the backpack purse, cute for little girls but completely out of the question for grown ups.

But just this week I heard the following sentence come out of my mouth, “I just really need to get me some jeggings if this is going to look good.” For serious, Chelsea? Who are you? Pretty soon I’m going to be rockin’ a Bumpit and SillyBandz.

Okay so don’t freak out when I tell you about this new product. You will thank me the second you get your hands on it.

Choco Vine. “The taste of dutch chocolate and fine red wine.”

Gross, I know. Someone told us about this stuff and I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Then one day, Stephen came home with a bottle. He bought it at CVS for $11. Now listen, I’m not a wine snob by any means, I think an $11 bottle of wine is a-okay, but when someone tells you about a product and says, “Yeah! You can get it at the local CVS,” something feels wrong. We were hesitant. In fact, we left it in our fridge for several days.

Over the weekend we went to south Texas to be with my family for Christmas. And what would you know, that had a bottle of Choco Vine. My aunt said it was good and she’s definitely not a liar. I tried some. Y’all, this stuff is good. It tastes like Bailey’s only cheaper and you can buy it at the same store you buy your tampons and batteries.

We currently have two bottles of Choco Vine in our wine fridge and it is now my beverage of choice. Pour some Choco Vine over ice and the top with milk. I know it sounds gross, TRUST ME I KNOW, but it is not even a little bit off-putting once you take the first sip. It’s like a grown up glass of chocolate milk. In fact, I may start bringing it in a thermos to work. (Just kidding, mom.)

This weekend is New Years Eve, also known in many circles as: The Night Of Drinking. (Not mine. In my circle it is known as: The Night of Getting Some Sleep and Not Setting An Alarm While the Rest of the Country Gets Wastey Faced and Stays Up All Night.) Go to your drug store or grocery store where I assume they’ll have this fine bottle of wine, and pick up one or two for the party you’re attending. They may look at you like you’re a nut job, but I swear you’ll be getting major props by the end of the night. Just trust me on this.

At Least We Have Cute Pictures

Today is one of those yucky days. My mind and heart are still on vacation but my body has to be back at work. I wish I could snuggle up in bed and take about a nine hour nap, then wake up to eat something and cuddle my baby, and then go right back to sleep for another ten hours or so. Maybe I’d feel rested after that.

My Christmas was great, I hope yours was too. I don’t have much to share today because I am so tired that I can’t even think straight. But I figured you might also be having a yucky Monday, so I thought I’d try to cheer you up.

These are all cell phone pictures so they aren’t great. The lighting in this first one is really bad but I had to share it because Jansen’s smirk is so cute.

And here is my fat Santa. He looks especially fat in this picture because he’s laying funny and, well, he’s wearing a Santa suit.

And here he is in his I Love Santa jammies.

You’re welcome.

Ten on Tuesday questions are posted. I imagine we’ll have light participation this week, but it’s there for those of you looking for an easy blogging option tomorrow.

…And The Soul Felt Its Worth

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks, a new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine, O night, O night divine

Truly He taught us to love one another
His law is love, and His gospel is peace
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord, O praise His name forever
His power and glory ever more proclaim
His power and glory ever more proclaim

Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine, O night, O night divine

 

Merry Christmas, y’all. Blessings to you and your family!

A Quiz

A couple weeks ago Stephen went to Camp Beer with his BFF. It was his Christmas gift. Why? Because that’s what good wives do. They give their husbands beer classes and encourage their best friend’s girlfriend to do the same.

Last night Stephen and I decided to finish our gift exchange. We try not to spend much money on each other. Mainly because we don’t have any money. And I guess also because we don’t really need anything and we are so spoiled by our parents that we don’t feel like spending money we don’t have on even more stuff. But Stephen got the Camp Beer tickets and a little somethin-somethin else.

Here is your quiz. There are two pictures below, one is what Stephen opened and one is what I opened. Do you think you can match us to the appropriate picture?

A.

B.

It’s a tough one. Good luck.

Merry Christmas To You

Because I love you so much, I’m gifting you with some pictures of my baby boy from our Christmas last weekend. You’re welcome. You don’t even have to send me a thank you card.

Sometimes Your Camel Is Late

Life throws you hiccups all the time. It’s just part of the deal. It can’t be expected and it definitely can’t be prevented. You can spend countless hours planning a wedding but then your DJ can announce you by your maiden name instead of your married. You can purchase the most perfect (to you) house but then flood part of the house with toilet water two days after closing.

I’ve realized this is true of baby making as well. Jansen’s nursery was perfect and beautiful, the important items were purchased on the registry, I was getting my life prepared for a baby but it’s much different than expected. He came early. He brought several weeks of awful sleep. And even now that he’s letting me sleep more, I’m still insanely tired. Breastfeeding and late nights are killing me. The good news is that I know it won’t be like this forever! Sometimes life throws a little hitch in your giddy up but then in all works out in the end.

(For the record, the severe fatigue is totally worth it.)

Did you know that if you have a baby boy after the month of August, you will be asked to donate him to the live nativity at your church? It’s true, I think it’s scientific. And as you know, I had a 90210 baby, which happens to fall after August and smack within the baby Jesus age. So of course Jansen was asked to be in our church’s live nativity yesterday. I told them they could use him but Stephen and I had no interest in being Mary and Joseph. (Not just because Mary and Joseph probably weren’t in their mid-twenties, but also because any sort of acting makes me want to vomit.)

There are two things people care about with live nativities: the real baby and the animals.

There were showings every 30 minutes throughout the morning and I watched the first two. People gathering around would turn to each other and ask, “Is it a real baby??” But of course. It wouldn’t be a live nativity if there wasn’t a real baby. Come on people!

After the second showing, the group got together for a picture. Notice anything missing?

No animals. THERE ARE NO ANIMALS.

That presents a bit of a problem when you publish it in the church’s bulletin and the community newspaper that there will be a live camel. When you say there’s going to be a camel, the kids expect a camel.

Well apparently there was a bit of miscommunication somewhere between the company and the owners of the animals… or something. All I know is that Sunday morning came and there were no animals. I considered bringing Rookie to the church with a brown pillow strapped to her back. Kids wouldn’t know the difference, right? We’d just say she was a baby camel. So time and time again a little kid would run out to the little stable and yell, “Hey, where’s the camel?”

The first show was at 10:45 but the camel and donkey didn’t show up until about noon. And let me tell you, there wasn’t a sheep in sight. It was a sad day here in Bethlehem… no sheep and baby Jesus had a binkie. I’m pretty sure none of that was in Luke 2.

When the camel finally arrived, he was a huge hit. The kids that were still around loved him. They stared in amazement at his size and they fed him hay. And I don’t think he spit on any of them or pooped in the stable.

But you know, even when the camel was in transit, the nativity wasn’t all bad. At least there was a real baby. Just remember that, friends. When life is frustrating because your camel is late, look for the live baby. He’s there somewhere.

I Ruin The Ending

Hi. My name is Chelsea. I ruin endings.

I have always hated watching television shows or movies with someone who has already seen it and has stong opinions. They look over to see you laugh or say, “Oh! This is a good part. Watch!” I hate that. It’s a giveaway, and I hate spoilers.

DVR has changed television watching. You can no longer assume that everyone has seen something just because it aired last hour. Nope. Gone are the days you can talk to your friends about what happened between Ross and Rachel on Friday morning. Probably because kids these days don’t even know who Ross and Rachel are… but also because one or two of their friends might be waiting until Friday night to watch the new show.

I don’t have DVR so I often forget that most people do. Proof?

SIL: Oh my gosh! Guess what I saw that you’re going to be so excited about?!
Me: What??
SIL: Pioneer Woman is doing a Throwdown with Bobby Flay.
Me: Yeah I know. I saw it.
SIL: No, it’s a Thanksgiving one.
Me: Yeah. I know. It aired on my birthday. I watched it. She won.

And now she no longer needs to watch it…

More proof?

Lauren: Your Longhorns are looking good. That’s the first and last sports related text you’ll get from me.
Me: I hope you’re being sarcastic. My Longhorns played like crap.
Lauren: Oh. I must be watching DVR because they are ahead 7-0.
Me: Yeah that changes. They lose.
Lauren: Aww crap. Well now I know the end. Goodbye forever.

I’m such a good friend, it’s ridiculous.

Stephen and I hosted Thanksgiving at our house this year. His family came over and everyone brought part of the meal. I made the turkey, dressing, gravy, and mashed potatoes. It was touch and go with the gravy for a while but overall, I think I put out a pretty decent meal.

Because I’m a crazy lady, I also decided to make two pies. I’m of the mentality that there should be more pies than people at a Thanksgiving feast. I decided to make a chocolate pie because, well, why not?! And Pioneer Woman’s pumpkin cream pie because I’ve never tasted a bad PW recipe. I opted out of making pie crust because I’m not that far gone on the crazy train, and I’ve never had one complaint about Pillsbury’s pie crust. If it ain’t broke… am I right?!

Neither of these recipes were particularly difficult so there was really no reason to be concerned. However, as I was putting the finishing touches on my pumpkin cream (pumpkin cream) pie (read: pouring it into the crust) I realized I forgot to add the cream. I forgot the cream in my pumpkin cream pie. Which might lead you to believe that it was just a pumpkin pie… but it wasn’t. It was a pumpkin pie with all this other stuff added but not cream. It was okay, not great.

So I had high hopes for my chocolate pie since it didn’t appear that I’d left out any chocolate or anything. I got it out of the fridge and made the first cut. Ever seen Wolverine on X-Men where he gets cut and his skin immediately heals? Me neither but my husband says that’s the movie I’m thinking about. This pie was like Wolverine. I cut a slice and put it on my plate, the rest of the pie closed up and practically removed all evidence that I’d taken a slice. Normally I would say this is a cool party trick, but it totally wasn’t because then there was a big chocolate blob on my plate.

I made a beautiful turkey and some delicious mashed potatoes. But a pumpkin cream pie sans the cream? And a chocolate pie that just didn’t feel like setting. Apparently I’m good at ruining all sorts of endings.

(ToT is posted!)

The Obligatory Thanksgiving Post

I’m taking Thursday and Friday off this week so I can focus on pies and not screwing up the gravy. But a year without a Thanksgiving post is like a Thanksgiving without sweet potatoes, so without further adieu…

Twenty Five Things I Am Thankful For

1. My health
2. Flavored coffee drinks
3. Sales
4. Cozy beds
5. Stephen’s goofiness
6. Jesus
7. Email
8. Clothes that cover my doughy pooch
9. Free childcare until May
10. Online shopping
11. You
12. Baby smiles
13. Cherry Chapstick
14. My family
15. Cooking
16. My Kindle
17. Rookie
18. Financial planning
19. Baby jeans and khakis
20. Funny sitcoms
21. My niece, Avery
22. My sanity
23. Stephen’s smile
24. Cupcakes
25. This little guy