Loser 9.10: No One Cupcaked Koli

First, a few items of Biggest Loser business:

• I have wondered for weeks why nobody brings Stephanie’s name up during elimination. It’s like she has some secret shield. Yesterday an article came out that she and Sam are dating and had their first kiss during week 3 on the ranch. So that would be her secret shield. I wonder if BL will keep trying to hide it from us or if they’ll start showing us little glimpses of their relationship! I just hope they aren’t gross like Rebecca and Daniel… she got kind of weird there at the end.
• I may or may not know someone that has gotten two interviews with the people at BL to be on season 10. That’s all I’m saying.

On to the show! Players are going home for a week. This is usually a semi-interesting and semi-boring week. Fun to see the people at home with their families, but boring because there isn’t a whole lot going on.

Was that a Tempurpedic commercial?? “You know what they don’t have at home? My Tempurpedic bed!” “Oh Sunshine!”

Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant and Stephen’s not watching with me, but I’m totally crying at these homecomings. The Tongans are a crying bunch. They look like fun! Daris looks fan-freakin-tastic!! My heart is just breaking for Mike.

(I’m eating a salad and a drop of vinaigrette just flew in my eye… not kidding. It burns.)

There are giant boxes for each contestant. Inside is a stationary bike and a million packing peanuts. They also have a box of cupcakes. (Just so you know, I still don’t like Melissa.) The players have to bike a marathon, the winner wins $10,000. For each cupcake they eat, they can add 5 minutes to someone’s time. Lance starts eating and eating. Andrea starts eating and eating. (Andrea is eating against her team… what’s up with that???) Mike eats a few too. And by a few, I mean 6.

The contestants work out. 24 Hour Fitness… and oh lookie there, they are open past 7:00.  (Seriously with the eye burning!) Wii Biggest Loser. Oh the plugs! “I’ve always been a firm believer of pushing my body to the edge.” Really O’Neal? Really?? I’m calling your bluff on that one. You’re a contestant on the Biggest Loser, something tells me this is the first time you’ve pushed your body in quite some time.

I feel a food commercial going on. Come on Sam, show me what you’ve got. Oh yes, Biggest Loser app on your phone! And I’M SORRY but NO you don’t have to eat organic eggs. Maybe the daily biscuits and gravy should go, but regular eggs are just fine. And now of course we are viewing the obligatory trips to their favorite restaurants.

Wait a second? How does Daris already have a lady friend?? He JUST got home. He sure didn’t waste any time. Now I’m not saying that he isn’t cute, but that chick didn’t have a choice in the matter. If a dude on television asks you on a date, you go. I hope she really likes him because I’ll go kick her butt if she hurts that sweet boy! (Boy? He’s probably my age…)

Now it’s time for the bike race. The families are all on cell phones so they can keep tabs of the other contestants. Not posting throughout this, it’s too back and forth. Sam won, Koli got 2nd, Lance got third. Alison announced that there were 32 cupcakes eaten. Koli won!!!! Whoo hoo. So very very very glad it wasn’t Lance.

Last chance workout. Oh the sweet sweat and yelling. I love it. Oh and vomit! There hasn’t been vomit in a long time. Stephen can’t stop talking about how much Koli looks like Sam now. You can definitely tell that they are related. Lance is mentally off right now. I’d argue that he’s a bit “off” all the time but I think Bob is referring to another type of “off.” Bob gave him a good chat and got him back in the Biggest Loser mood.

Weigh in. Not my favorite Alison dress, but still cute. Hmm.. I don’t know. Mixed feelings.

Blue Team
O’Neal (7) – Seriously?
Sunshine (8) – Atta girl!
Lance (8) – SERIOUSLY? Man!
Michael (8) – He’s lost 137 pounds so far! SHEESH.
Koli (10) -Fantastic
Daris (4) – Not so good, dude.
TOTAL: 2.58%

Black Team
Andrea (6) – Good number.
Stephanie (9) – AMAZING!!!! So so proud of her.
Ashley (10) – Holy moly, the black team is on fire!
Sam (14) – Wowza!
TOTAL: 3.86%

Glad to see the black team win this one. I don’t have a favorite team but I didn’t want to see it so tilted. Sunshine has immunity so between all the dudes. My vote is obviously for Lance because I’m not his biggest fan. Or O’Neal because he’s hurt.  

Koli voted for Lance
Mike voted for Lance
Lance voted for Mike
O’Neal voted for Lance
Daris voted for Lance

Lance is gone. I’m not sad. I don’t care for his attitude. But I am proud of him for how much he lost while on the ranch.

He’s gone from 365 to 265! He’s looking really great. I like him more than his wife.

Next week people come back. Ugh… Melissa. UGH.

Seven Quick Takes

Hooray Friday!

1.
Remember last week when I mentioned that I wasn’t feeling right? Turns out, it’s heartburn. My coworker came into my office the other day to get some Tums (because obviously the preggo has Tums) because she had heartburn. I told her to tell me what it felt like. She said, “It hurts. A lot.” Not acceptable. I said, “No. Tell me EXACTLY how it feels.” So she explained it. She told me where it hurts and how it feels, exactly. So the bad news is that I get heartburn multiple times a day. The good news is that I get heartburn, I’m not dying of heart failure or fire throat.

2.
I’m making dinner for my brother and sister-in-law tomorrow night. What should I make? I was thinking about making the butter chicken that PW posted a couple weeks ago. Has anyone made it? Any other ideas? Sides? Help me out. Nothing that takes too incredibly long or requires a ton of ingredients. I’ll be cooking at their house while trying to stare at my niece.

3.
“You can’t handle my undivided attention.” – Dwight Schrute
“The sales department smashed my sandwich.” – Michael Scott

I love this show.

4.
Incase you didn’t hear the big news, I’m kind of famous now. A little something happened on The Twitter yesterday.

Pioneer Woman tweeted that her book Black Heels and Tractor Wheels is being picked up for a movie. So I tweeted, “Does anyone have the sneaking suspicion that @thepioneerwoman is taking over the world? I’m not complaining, just an observation.”

Good tweet, right? Right. Well then she replied. SHE REPLIED. “Not me, just my bottom.”

So that’s awesome.

5.
One of my blog friends posted this week about her adventures at a laser tag place. Which reminded me of the post I wrote about laser tag. So I sent it to her and reread it. Good times. Click here if you want to read it.

6.
I haven’t had a pedicure since before Christmas.

7.
I joined Swagbucks a couple weeks ago because I kept hearing about it. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a website where you earn points which can then be used to buy things like giftcards. You use their site for searches instead of Google. They post codes on their blog and Twitter so you can get more points. I get points just for using the toolbar. I get points every day for clicking through their “special offers.” In the 2 weeks (?) I’ve been a member, I’ve earned 655 points. Not too bad, my friends. So anyways, if you want to join, do it. If you don’t, don’t. But if you join, join through me so I get some referral points. (Yes, I just went there.) Click here to check it out.  I’m quite addicted.

That’s all I’ve got for you today. Have a great weekend. Mine should be great, minus the 18 hours I’m going to spend on my taxes. Boo hiss.

Loser 9.09: I Have No Title

Last night I went to the UT vs. Rice baseball game and didn’t get hom until after 10:00 sometime. I knew I wouldn’t have a chance to watch Biggest Loser so I enlisted the help of my sister-in-law. Everyone say hellow to Heather! I’m posting her recap below. I have not read it, edited it (I assume she spell checked!), and I don’t know what happen. Hopefully I’ll watch it this evening on my parent’s DVR then I can read her recap and your comments.

Here we go!

Biggest Loser Notes a la Heather:

Why are the Samoan guy’s nails painted black? 

“Now it’s more about smarts than it is about physical strength—-now I’m in trouble” Samoan guy #2 

Trivia game where the team who answers three healthy food questions first wins—winners get a trip to Four Seasons; losers have to clean the kitchen—how dramatic, give me a break; and they have clean the gym—kind of gross

• No one knows what Ellagic Acid is—including me but apparently it’s in strawberries
• Blue team wins!

 

The winners get spa treatments and Daris has a green face
The black team whines about cleaning, shut up already 

Is it makeover week yet?  These people need it!  As Shawn said about Lance—‘that guy has a crotch on his face’ 

Workout time:  Jillian- “You didn’t come here to win the Four Seasons, you came here to lose 200 pounds off of your ass”   hahaha 

“I’m sweating like Tiger Woods in divorce court”-Michael 

Ashley has an emotional moment during the workout and Jillian helps her through it by talking to her Mom.  Ashley feels she has to take care of her mom since her dad died.  They talk it out and the conversation ends well. 

Michael leaves in the middle of the night because his grandmother is in really bad health, but we’ll have to wait to see how she’s doing. 

The rest of the contestants go to meet Allison and Curtis Stone for a cooking challenge.  Crotch face has his beard in a pony tail—ew.  They have to make a meal using only 12 ingredients and the winning team will get a 5 pound advantage at the weigh in. 

The black team’s food looks better. 

Winners:

1^st Course:  Black team

Main Course: Blue team with their pork tenderloin

Dessert:  Black team with their pear, strawberry, and goat cheese dessert

Black team wins! 

Time for the last chance workout, oh but wait, Subway Commercial while they talk about Michael’s grandmother 

Milk commercial 

Last chance workout:  looks as difficult as ever.  Koli (Samoan guy #2 I think) is close to being under 300 and losing 100 pounds.  Bob makes the blue team work extra hard to try and get over the 5 pound disadvantage. 

Time for the weigh in:  (for Chelsea:  Alison is wearing a cute pink dress with a thick black belt, hair looks good too J)

Black Team:

–  -5 pounds to start with

-Andrea:  -5 pounds , 60 total

-Sam:  -8 pounds, 94 total

-Ashley: -7 pounds, ?? total

-Sherry:  -3 pounds, 55 total

-Stephanie:  -2 pounds, 56 total

Total 2.5% for black team

Blue Team:  (needs to lose an average of 8 pounds a person)

-Lance:  -8 pounds, 83 total

-Daris:  -10 pounds, 98 total

-Koli: -9 pounds (woohoo!), emotional moment ensues; under 300; 106 total

-O’Neal:  -9 pounds, 87 total

-Sunshine:  -9 pounds, ?? total

-Michael:  -11 (wow!!!), he’s under 400, and has lost 129 total—impressive week especially considering what happened with his grandmother (which I missed what ended up happening, but I’m assuming she passed away) 

Blue team wins!  Sam is safe on the black team since he has the highest percentage. 

Black team votes Sherry off.  I’m mostly sad she didn’t make it to makeover week. 

Sherry looks great now!  She’s down to 138 (down 80 pounds total).  Amazing! 

Everyone will be going home for a week on the next episode. 

I hope my summary lived up to your standards!!

 (Okay I lied… she sent me her recap in Word so I copied and pasted. Apparently that puts in some random lines and I couldn’t post it that way. I went through to take out the lines and I saw some stuff. BOO! I don’t know who went home though, so that’s good.)

Loser 9.08: For Some Reason I’ve Always Wanted To Pull A Semi

We start with a review of last year and O’Neal’s reaction to Sunshine possibly going home. Sheesh, I thought he was going to have a fit. I like him but I’m getting an odd “Ron the Godfather” sense from him… like somehow someone crowned him and he’s the wise team leader. Hopefully that’s not true.

It’s Work Week. They will be working full time jobs this week. Intellesting! They will have to commute, bring healthy food, and fit workouts into their new schedule. I am confused because Alison said, “Just like in real life, the gym won’t be open 24 hours.” But wait, isn’t your MAIN sponsor 24 Hour Fitness?? Yes I think so.

The teams have a challenge- they have to pull a semi-truck. Along the way they have to pick up crates that are puzzle pieces that spell “Groceries for a Year.” I’m thinking this is a pretty unfair challenge. There is seriously no way the black team can win. Except somehow they pull ahead. Then the black team gets ahead again. It literally just comes down to the puzzle making. And… wait for it… the blue team wins.

Bob and Jillian meet with their teams to learn about the Work Week. And then Bob tells Sunshine and O’Neal about Biggest Loser Protein Powder. Blah. Then they all go work out. Is it just me or is Jillian wearing more makeup this season? Is it because she’s a much bigger deal now?

Time for work. A couple people had to work the phones to thanks people, a few people worked distribution, and a few people worked inventory. We all had a little chuckle when Michael said, “I don’t consider myself the most smartest person.” One of the workers came in to talk to the group. He was an overweight man and told a bit of his story. I hope he got a little something from this group. I know that this is all about promotion and advertising, but I really thought it was a great message and enjoyed seeing the GOOD side of these contestants.

Why would the gym close at 7:30??? No gym in this COUNTRY closes at 7:30. Oh wait, except the one I used to go to. But that was the size of a cracker box and was mainly for people over the age of 60.

Sam “forgot” his lunch but it looks very fishy from the beginning. I instantly said, “This is staged.” Sure enough, there was NOTHING in the vending machine that was nutritious but conveniently there was a Subway on the end of the street. Lookie there.

Cheryl + Sherry = BFF

Last chance workout. It was short because the gym was going to close. Atleast they had their Brita water filter. There was a lot of sweat. Not much cussing or weird activities… but lots of sweat. Sam was literally steaming. Icing on the cake, I’m a lion, Jillian is my prey, It’s an electric fence… So many metaphors.

There was a pretty extensive background on O’Neal and Sunshine. They seem like pretty great people. Although I wonder if he may be going home this week since they are spotlighting him.

Weigh In– I love Alison’s hair.

Blue Team
O’Neal – 5
Sunshine – 7
Michael – 9
Koli – 10
Daris – 9
Lance – 10
Great numbers for the blue team! Love seeing them do well!

Black Team
Andrea – 7
Ashley – 8
Cheryl – 5
Sherry – 5
Stephenie – 3
Sam – 4
Some good numbers but not great numbers.

Blue team won the weigh-in. I just love Sam and Koli’s relationship. They do cry a lot though. The black team is chatting a bit about their decision. My guess would be Stephanie. I think it would be RIDICULOUS to vote Sam off. Sherry has immunity. Ashley won’t go, Cheryl is bffs with Sherry. I think Andrea is still big enough to save her spot.

First two votes go to Cheryl, second to Stephanie, next to Sam, another to Cheryl. So Cheryl is out. Why exactly? I’m not sure why it wasn’t Stephanie. But whatever. Now I feel bad for Daris.

She started at 227 and now weighs 164. She’s quite the yeller now! She looks great and is so cute.

Loser 9.07: If We Want To Get Letters, We Have To Work At The Post Office

Recap- Melissa went home, nobody cared. Darrell and Cheryl are still holding torches on their heads.

We start back at the torches. They went on for almost ten minutes and then Darrell let it drop. Which is a shame. I really like them both so I think I’d be disappointed either way.

Temptation time!!! Hello chocolate chip cookies. This challenge will split them into blue vs. black. The winner of the temptation gets to choose the teams and also gets to choose someone to have immunity this week. They can choose themselves. They play a game of memory that involves food items and Choose Team cards. This is a loooong game. I’m not looking forward to seeing how much trouble they get in. (Or maybe I am…) Michael is going to be in soooo much trouble. This is pretty gross. Michael got the cards, which totally sucks for Andrea. Michael is choosing teams – each person will be assigned to a team except the person who gets immunity. After this week, the person with immunity will go to the team that the person voted off was on. Make sense?

The new teams go as follows:

Black: Sam, Cheryl, Andrea, Stephanie, Sherry, Ashley

Blue: Koli, Daris, Lance, Miggy, Sunshine, Michael

Leaving O’Neal with immunity. Not smart moves Michael. Don’t you people know by now that it’s NOT smart to piss everyone off??

Bob and Jillian come in to the gym and see the new teams. Jillian drops the f-bomb. She super pissed, which I can see. But this is also a game, so nobody can really blame him. I don’t agree with his choices, but it’s not shocking.

Michael sounds like the mafia. “If you don’t put up the weight, you’re going. Because you’re no use to me.”

Lars bars or something. Fruit, nut, salt… that’s it. Whatever.

On to the challenge. Players have to go to the top of a building and pull a banner up. The winner gets letters from home. Sheraton Universal. This is almost no contest – the teams are crazy stacked. So of course the blue team wins. Miggy cried even though crying is for weak people. I really like Daris, seems like a great guy.

Dr. H met with the contestants again to track their progress. They only showed Sam and

Last chance workout. It wasn’t very exciting. Y’all, I”m only at 400 words. Apparently I have no thoughts or feelings today.

Weigh-In
O’Neal: (9) – 2.77% Immunity

Blue Team:
Michael: (15) He beat the 100 pound record but everyone’s mad at him and nobody cares.
Sunshine: (7)
Lance: (5)
Miggy: (4) Miggy can’t talk because she’s “furious” and needs to cry.
Daris: (7)
Koli: (10)

Black Team:
Andrea: (5)
Cheryl: (4)
Sherry: (6)
Sam: (8)
Stephanie: (8)
Ashley: (10)

Black team wins!!!! Amazing! Blue team has to vote someone off and it can’t be Michael since he was the Biggest Loser of the week. It sounds like it’ll be between Lance and Miggy. The obvious choice is Miggy. Glad to see that they agree with my thoughts. Miggy is gone.

She went from 240 to 179. I’m sure she’d look great if she wasn’t wearing a tucked in stretchy shirt. She says she’s changed her attitude from negative to positive. I hope so.

Darrell went from 413 to 293. He’s looking good. I really like him.

Dear Biggest Loser,
Please don’t leave me for two weeks again. It makes me sad.
Your Biggest Fan,
Chelsea

Loser 9.06: Olympic Week So We Reward The Weakest Players?

It’s an Olympic themed week and the contestants are going to Colorado to the Olympic training facilities. It’s cold there. Oh lookie, they all have beanies!

There will be two eliminations this week. The person with the lowest weight loss goes home automatically, then the next two lowest go to the elimination room. Not fun at all.

Alison Jones met the contestants to challenge them. I had never heard of her (I haven’t heard of most Olympians) but she was born with one leg and medaled in multiple events. Pretty cool! Then they lit the torch and people cheered.  Melissa, I hate when people say “undescribable.” Just so you know. That’s not even a word! And Lance, being fat didn’t get you to the Olympics… it got you to the building. I’m here to educate, people.

The contestants met with the nutritionists at the Olympian cafeteria. “They’ll be eating what the athletes eat”… well, not ALL of them. You’ve heard of Michael Phelps, right? Pretty sure Jillian Michaels would spaz if her contestants ate that stuff. Luckily the nutritionists are talking about this with them. Extra Sugarfree Gum. I’M SORRY, NO! Gum is not better than chocolate cake. It will never replace chocolate cake. It will never make me want chocolate cake less. The end.

The gray Koli is having a hard time with John being gone. He doesn’t think he should be there over him. He doesn’t feel like he’s worth it. He had himself a good cry and realized that he’s scared of growth and doing something for himself. I really like him.

The contestants gathered with Bob and Jillian and two attractive athletes that I don’t know. Sorry y’all, I don’t do the Winter Olympics. It just looks so… cold. So anyways, these athletes held a workout for them. They did ladders, balance balls, hula hooping (what?), and boxing. Speedy said, “You’re an inspiration to me, you better be an inspiration to yourselves. ” Yes sir! Agree.

Pop challenge. Olympic hopeful, J.R. Celcsi (I think) came to give them a pep talk and show them his nasty scar. The challenge is a slide board something (can I understand anything they say tonight??) and they have to go back and forth 500 times. Apparently it feels a lot like ice which makes them fall and the camera shake. Nice effect BL. There are three winners in this challenge. Sam and Melissa were neck and neck until Melissa fell with 10 to go. It’s hard not to smile at that.  Sunshine got third, beating Lance by about 4. It’s hard not to smile at that too. Sorry red team, but you’ve done pissed us all off. They stood on podiums and got medals and really cheesed it up in full Loser fashion.

And now, challenge time with Kelly Underkofler who only has one arm. I HATE THIS KIND OF CHALLENGE. They shoot at other team’s targets and whenever your target is full, you’re out. DUMB. What does this prove?? When will they get rid of these types of games. You should win a challenge because you’re good, not because people hate you less. Sunshine got one extra shot, Melissa got two, and Sam got three. Sunshine shot Sam’s (dumb), Melissa shot Sam’s (dumb), so then OBVIOUSLY Sam shot both of them. Smart move girls. Everyone immediately started shooting at Lance and Melissa because they’re Texans and we know how to use a gun! Y’all I hate this challenge. I can’t even express it properly. Or maybe I can. THIS CHALLENGE IS RIDICULOUS AND I HATE IT! So basically it comes down to all the weakest links. Ashley, O’Neal, and Darrell. Literally came down to O’Neal and Darrell shooting at the same time. O’Neal won immunity.

Back in California. Working out at 24 Hour Fitness (commercial) with some Olympic ice skater dude with great hair. They did a boot camp class and then headed back to the gym for a last chance workout. Lots of sweat this week. Bob got O’Neal to balance on one of those wobbly things and do a couple squats. Incase you forgot, he has terrible knees. So he accomplished it and rejoiced. Good stuff!

On to the weigh in!  We’re at individuals this week. Remember there was a red line and a yellow line. And remember that they were travelling which throws everyone off.

O’Neal (8) – Immunity (maybe you should had a few sips of water before that weigh in)
Michael (11) – 2.48% (Lost 94 pounds, didn’t break the 100  pound record)
Stephanie (4) – 1.78%
Sunshine (6) – 2.45%
Koli (9) – 2.69% Whoo hoo! Safe!
Andrea (7) – 2.67%
Darrell (5) – 1.46%
Sam (12) – 3.87% Wowza!
Sherry (3) – 1.67%
Ashley (6) – 1.89%
Daris (9) – 3.18%% I’m ready for this fella to start talking!
Cheryl (3) – 1.55%
Miggy with new hair and emotions (7) – 3.40%
Lance (9) – 2.87% Ugh.
Melissa (PLUS 1) – Gone. I just can’t figure her out. Anyone have any theories??

Cheryl and Darrell are now going head to head in a competition to see who will go home. No vote. (Which I really like because 1) it’s rewarding the stronger player and 2) they are both lovable and that’s a hard vote.) Whoever balances the torch on their head while squatting the longest stays. Darrell has bad knees so my money is on Cheryl. Up to 6 minutes. AND TO BE CONTINUED. UGH! Didn’t see that coming.

Melissa at home… She started at 233 and is now at 175. She’s taken up boxing and for some reason, that doesn’t surprise me. She’s pretty vicious. Her son said that “She looks hot” to which Stephen said, “He’ll regret that comment in about 2 years.” She looks good but I still can’t figure her out. HOW did she gain a pound. Did she do it on purpose? What do y’all think??

Next week: Blue vs. Black and it causes drama. Naturally.Can’t wait! Also, does anyone know if it’s on at the normal time next week? They said something about “after the Olympics” but I don’t know what that means.

Loser 9.05: We Almost Got Rid of Them

They started with a review of the phone calls from last week. Actually, not a review of them… they replayed them. Why? I’m sure we’ll see that some sort of emotional battle is about to happen. AHHHHH I SEE. It’s last week’s episode and for some reason it’s on an hour later. Did any of you know this?? If you knew and didn’t tell me, you’re in trouble.

(Excuse my while I let my laptop go to sleep and I watch Ace of Cakes. See you in an hour.)

And we’re back. (I thought you should know that I ate a piece of cheesecake during that break. We’re all about honesty here at Roots & Rings.) So now Miggy is there without her daughter which means she’s going to crash and burn, or she’s going to need to learn to make friends. At 2 in the morning 911 was called for Miggy. She was suffering severe abdominal pain so they took her to the hospital.

UGH, why does Alison get all the cute clothes? I love her black ruffley top! Everyone gathered around outside and the blue and yellow team arrived from home. They headed to the gym to weigh in but we’re surprised with Bob and Jillian there for a last chance workout. Fun times. Now on to the weigh in. The winning team not only gets immunity but they also get the only vote in this week’s elimination. Holy cow. That is bittersweet… and not a great way to make friends.

Blue: Cherita (24) & Victoria (39) – Total weight loss: 63 pounds – 9.92%
Yellow: Sunshine (25) & O’Neal (51) – Total weight loss: 76 pounds – 11.45%

Welcome to the ranch yellow team. It’s time to work out.

I really want to see Daris succeed. I like that kid. Melissa looked like she was going through childbirth when she was doing that leg thing. She was having a freaking cow. Not like, giving birth to a cow. No, having a cow. Like freaking out. And she was screaming at Bob. Melissa, please don’t scream at Bob. We like him.

Daris rocks. I want to hug him. (Why does Jillian always wear the same gray v-neck? To show off her guns?)

Commercial music is playing. JennieO Turkey. Let’s make some chili! Where’s the Fritos and the shredded cheese?? That’s just not chili!

Challenge time! Of course it’s football themed because it’s Superbowl week. Winner gets immunity and loser gets a 2 pound disadvantage. The players had to hit the fake lineman 1000 times. This wasn’t the most entertaining challenge, to say the least. Snoozer. But at least it was based on winning because you’re good, not winning because you eliminated the good people. You know how I hate those. It came down to white and gray. White won and he immediately started yelling, “I did it mom!” even though his mom isn’t actually there anymore. I love the gray team, but I think Mike needed it.

Miggy is back. She had surgery to remove her appendix, a cyst, and something else that I couldn’t understand. That’s rough. So we’re learning that Mike and Miggy are actually friends. Who knew?

Yoplait Smoothie. Bob, don’t act like this is like a new thing that you are learning. DUMB.

Dr. H met with Miggy to check out her scar. He also told her that during surgery they poured in a bunch of salt water and she now has 8-9 pounds of salt water in her system. Shocker of all shockers: Miggy cried. Like lots of tears. But then she said some crap about how she’s a failure. Yeah, not so much.

I love last chance workout. Do I say that every week? O’Neal is a tough man. Did you see his focus eyes? Pink team has no focus eyes. They have quit eyes. Ashley finally came out with the truth- she’s suffering because of her dad’s death. Yep, that’ll do it. Can’t say I blame her.

Love love love the interaction between purple girl and Sunshine! The joy on their faces! THIS is why I love this show! (Y’all, there have been so many typos. I need to cut my fingernails in a seriously bad way.) Bob had the contestants do yoga after their workout. Bob rocks at yoga. Get his DVD, for serious. (NBC, want to pay me for that endorsement?)

On to the weigh in. Everyone is nervous about this one.

Yellow: Sunshine (5) & O’Neal (5) – 1.7% Gameplay maybe? No shame.
White: Michael (13) – 2.85% Definitely no gameplay. Why not?
Pink: Ashley (9) & Sherry (6) – 2.54% Impressive Ashley!
Red: Melissa (5) & Lance (4) – 1.73% What the what?
Orange: Cheryl (3) & Daris (12) – 3.05% Yay Daris!!
Purple: Stephanie (5) – 2.17% Stephen just said, “Is she wearing a Bumpit?”
Gray: Sam (10) & Koli (6) – 2.42% Phew! My faves.
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (8) – 2.10%
Green: Miggy (5) – 2.37% This actually makes me happy because it puts the red team lower.
Brown: John (6) – % Crap crap crap!

No deliberation. John is the only one below the yellow line so he’s automatically sent home. Everyone cried. I love that guy. I wish him all the best at home and hope he kicks lots of butt! Started at 484, now at 380. He shaved. Whoo hoo! Dear goodness, his son is cute!

Next week: Individuals! And some drama, of course.

Loser 9:04: A Great Episode Without Any Good Quotes

Michael’s mom is gone and he’s sad about it. The contestants talked to him about his attitude and his work. He said he’s going to step it up. We’ll see.

Pop challenge. Run The Presidential Mile, grab a key card, come back and test the key. You can either get a check or an x. The first team to three checks, wins immunity. My guess is that the Presidential Mile is not actually a mile. Tough break for Michael, can’t get a good card! My guess is also that I want Alison’s coat. Poor purple girl isn’t getting anything either! And lookie there, the red team won immunity.

“With great power comes great responsibility.” The red ream team had to give out three envelopes: No Gym Access, No Elimination Vote, and 2 Pound Disadvantage. I think this is mean. This is Biggest Loser asking for drama. It’s not fair to the red team. No Gym Access went to John who spent most of his time in the pool (smart). They gave the No Vote to Michael so he wouldn’t make any rash moves this week based on hard feelings (smart). And they gave the 2 Pounds to the green team since they had a bad week last week and they hoped they’d have a good one (not a BAD move, any choice they made would have been bad). GREEN TEAM IS NASTY. Nasty.

Bob decides to talk to the red team about the weigh in. Melissa is sticking with her story that she isn’t playing the game. He’s choosing to just drop it. Bob and Jillian sneakily separate Lance from the group so Jillian can confront him. He’s sticking to the story as well and has also decided that he’d no longer like to work with Jillian because he doesn’t respect her. NICE MOVE. Be mad and refuse help from the best trainer in the world. Very very smart.

I think at this point, Melissa has convinced herself that she’s not playing the game. Biggest Loser Simple Swaps. Melissa has convinced Lance to go back and give Jillian a shot because they need her. Ziplock.

Challenge time. Alison is look like a cute little construction worker. They don’t look like that in real life, trust me, I know. The players have to pull themselves up 120 feet in this contraption. The winner gets phone calls from home and the ability to give phone calls to three other teams. Green team is immediately pissed because they think they won’t get chosen. Well, YEAH. Maybe if you smile every now and then! This is brutal, it’s a lot harder than I originally though it looked. Hate the red team if you want, but man alive, they are fighters. Gray team won. Atta boys. “I told myself I wasn’t going to cry on this damn show.”

They chose to give the calls to the red team, the green team (who didn’t cry… what?), and the brown team John. Great choices dudes!!! The phone calls always pull on your heartstrings. They also give you a little glimpse into their home lives, which I like.

Brita. Subway. Bob takes he contestants to Subway for their lesson on eating then takes them outside for their last chance workout. He points to a mountain and tells them they are climbing. Daris (orange team) starts running back and forth to get extra exercise in. Well done! Then ask they reached the bottom of he mountain, Jillian was waiting o put them through more hell. Man, she really made them do some crappy stuff. Throwing giant rocks and chasing them, pushing each other in wheelbarrows, crawling. Fun stuff. They actually looked like they were having fun.

Weigh in time! Alison has ruffles and a bumpit. Ugh, she’s so cute. Let’s just say that I’ve had it with the green team. I’m ready for them to go.

Red: Melissa (11) & Lance (6) – 3.16% Immunity
White: Michael (15) – 3.18% He’s lost 70 pounds is 4 weeks!
Black: Andrea (5) & Darrell (10) – 2.37%
Orange: Cheryl (6) & Daris (6) – 2.38%
Pink: Ashley (7) & Sherry (4) – 2.10%
Brown: John (10) – 2.29%
Gray: Sam (14) & Koli (12) – 3.78% Rockstars!
Purple: Stephanie (6) – 2.54%
Green: Migdalia (4) & Miggy (1) – .67% — arms crossed, angry at the world. (For the record, the 2 pound disadvantage didn’t matter.) 

OH THE GREEN TEAM! Awful. Bitter. Angry. Migdalia started crying and Miggy told her not to cry. NOT OKAY. We are women. WOMEN CRY. So then they screamed at the rest of the contestants to vote Migdalia off. Whoa nelly. These women. There are just no words.

The contestants voted Migdalia off- just barely. She started at 265 and is now 219. I have nothing else to say.

Anyone see the preview? We watched it on DVR so we missed it.

Loser 9.03:Alley-Oop

I haven’t made it to all of the ToTers. I’m working on it though! Thanks to all of you for participating!

Live blogging- which means my tenses are going to be going crazy. Sorry Charlie.

We checked in with the blue team and yellow team to see their progress at home. (If you remember, they were both sent home week one since they lost the bike challenge. They have 30 days at home and then they’ll weigh in. The team that has lost the most weight gets to come back to the ranch.)

Whoa nelly. New move this week. Student Teacher Week. One member of each team will be the student and one will be the teacher. The teacher will train with the trainers, the student will learn from the teacher. ONLY the student will weigh in at the weigh in. In order to choose the teachers, there is a temptation. Whoever eats the most “chocolate candies” wins. I don’t know why you’d want to win this. Don’t they watch this show?? NOTHING good comes from winning a temptation that allows you to make decisions for the rest of the group. Plus, this is DUMB. Who cares? There is no way of knowing who will lose more weight.

Pink team won by eating 10 calories- 2 candies. They “instantly regret” it. DUH.  

Green team is immediately peeved about their decision. Migdalia has flames coming out of her ears. It’s not flattering. Ladies, if there are ever flames coming out of your ears, FIX IT, they make you ugly. As they were explaining the situation to Bob and Jillian, she sat in a chair off to the side and kept telling Bob “everything is fine” between eye rolls.

Dear Reader,
I officially don’t like the green team.
Chelsea

Bob and Jill met with each teacher to discuss their student’s workout and meal plan. Then they worked out. I want to hit Migdalia. She was totally shut down. When she escaped to the restroom, Bob and Jillian got together to talk about how to handle hurt. I LOVED being in on that discussion. They decide that Jill needs to turn the mean on. BREAK HER DOWN GIRL. I am currently thinking that Migdalia might punch her in the face. Question after question, she avoided eye contact and answered with one syllabal answers. You could see the frustration in Jillians eyes. Did it get warm in your part of the country around 7:25? Because my blood was boiling something fierce and I’m sure it had an effect on the atmosphere. After pushing and pushing, she did just as they suspected. She walked out. And… Jillian followed. She decided she wants to go home.

Jillian found Miggy and told her not to allow her to go. Know what? I don’t like Miggy either. They both seem to have an oak tree sized stick up their hinies. So here’s the quick rundown of the rest of the drama. Miggy goes to the room and they talk in Spanish about crap Jillian said. “She insinuated that you were a bad mom.” I disagree… you inherited traits from your mother and now you two are enabling each other. That’s all she’s saying. Jillian and Bob have a freak out about the situation and Jillian instructs Bob to go finish it, make her stay. He goes and chats and she decides to stay. Miggy said, “Coming here is to change our ways, not to change our personalities.” Ummm I think we’re allll missing the point here. Nobody is challenging your personality because WE DON’T KNOW YOU BECAUSE YOU’RE ACTING LIKE A STATUE. But, yes, there are probably a few traits about you that could stand to be changed. Like maybe you can have some thoughts and feelings. “You’re like your mother and your daughter is going to be like you” is not an unfair statement. It’s truth.

take a breath chelsea

Now it’s time for the teachers to teach. Looks like there might be some inner turmoil in Mr. Black Team’s head. We shall see where that goes.

Walgreens. Seriously??

California Health Longevity Institute. Hey Curtis Stone – I know who you are this year since I’m such a great Loser watcher. Today we’re discussing portion control since restaurants are out of control. Mur Glen Organic Tomatoes. Apparently they are low and sodium and blah blah blah. Ziplock.

Miggy called out Migdalia. She said that the reason she’s so angry is because she doesn’t know how to express herself. She actually cried. PRAISE THE LAWD! She encouraged her daughter to talk to Jillian more. Oh I hope she does!

(I want to see Valentine’s Day. Sorry, I don’t normally blog about the commercials but I just thought y’all should know. That’s the sort of thing I would tell you any other day.)

Wow, are we really just now on hour two?? So yeah, I’m already 790 words into it. Sorry y’all.

Challenge time. I don’t like Alison’s outfit. Turquoise shirt with a leopard print cami underneath. No thanks. Teacher has to take a 1000 foot string and wrapped all up into a playground. Then they’ll draw to see which string they have to unravel. And now I see that by “string” we really mean “really giant ribbon.” Note to Black Team Girl, you could just ROLL the spool under the jungle gym instead of crawling under there. I’m just sayin’…

OH SUCK. Alison just announced that they will actually be untangling their own ribbons (wait for it) blindfolded. Bahahahaha! Pink Mom is telling her daughter, “See that ribbon, put it through there.” She is blindfolded, lady! No she doesn’t see the ribbon. Looks like red team is going to dominate because he was a commercial diver and is used to being directed through areas that he can’t see through. The white team tied knots all over, which of course screws them over royally, and then it ended up screwing everyone else over because it got other ribbons stuck. Gray team won. I really wanted them to tonga dance like Sione and Filipe would have. Boo hiss.

So as the winners they get immunity and they get to switch one teacher student combo. Which means that one teacher who originally thought that he/she wouldn’t be weighing in (read: they slacked all week) will now be weighing in (read: they’ll suck on the scale). Protein2Go. And now the pink team is realizing that they’ve stacked the deck against themselves because Pink Daughter has to weigh in against all the big guys.

Weigh In –

Gray: Sam (11) & Koli (13)  – Immunity
Green: Migdalia (8) & Miggy (7) – 3.2%
Black: Andrea (7) & Darrel (12) – 3.22%
Orange: Cheryl (7) & Daris (9) – 2.9%
Brown/Purple: Stephanie (7) & John (14) – 3.10%
Red: Melissa (1) & Lance (12) – 3.57% – Miss Melissa is lying and pissing off Bob. Don’t piss off Bob. I like this team in general but this if just ridiculous. Tell the truth for crying out loud.
White: Maria (4) & Michael (10) – 2.08%
Pink: Ashley (12) & Sherry (6) – 3.48%

Which puts the white team below the yellow line. They were the team that the gray team chose to switch. Hopefully this will shock Michael into caring a bit about his time at the ranch.

(Also I think Parenthood is going to be a funny show.)

The contestants decided to vote Maria off. She started at 281 and is currently at 230. She’s conquering her fear of water! She surprised her family by learning to swim, her husband was beaming with pride. So sweet. So proud of her.

Next week: More drama with the red team. Someone who “holds a grudge forever” is not someone you want in your life, just a heads up on that. I appears that Melissa is going to lose a very large amount of weight and pretend to be shocked about it even thought she’s been adding water weight the past two weeks. Fun times!

Also, Lauren brought it to my attention that during the orange team’s weigh-in, Alison changed clothes. I totally missed that and I don’t have DVR to go back and see. But I trust my source. My source says that for a split second she had a green shirt on with her hair pulled back. WHAT’S THAT ABOUT BIGGEST LOSER???

BFF Friends Forever

This week has dragged on but somehow, at the same time, it has gone shockingly fast. But isn’t that the truth about life in general? Here we are and it’s January 14, 2010 and it seemed like just yesterday that we were entering the 2000’s. But how can it only have been two days since Tuesday? This week is dragging and I’m in desperate need of a Saturday with no alarm.

The funny thing about my blog-life is that I view my weeks in blog terms. Monday is usually some story about the weekend, then Ten on Tuesday (which TWENTY EIGHT of you participated in this week… amazing!), Wednesday is the Loser recap, Thursday is a day for me to stretch my imagination, and Friday is either a giveaway or Quick Takes. It keeps my week orderly which is great since it’s the only orderly thing in my life besides my planner.

It’s Thursday. According to my blogenda, that means I should be stretching my imagination. I tried to stretch it but it popped. I’m on the couch watching Stephen take over the Star Wars universe as a really cute Lego Darth Vader and thinking that you all probably wish that you could hang out with us all the time. Because really, nobody is as cool as us.

Tonight we were fortunate enough to watch about 20 minutes of the American Idol try outs… which, for the record, are the only episodes I’ve ever actually seen except that time in college that a girl made me watch a VHS tape of the episode where Kelly Clarkson won. I have no desire to watch people sing two nights a week only to hear them on the radio every 5 minutes for 2 years after the season is over. But that’s not my point. While we were watching, there were these two girls. They were very proud BFF Friends Forever and obviously don’t know what “BFF” actually stands for or else they’d know that the “Friends Forever” part was quite unnecessary. And dumb. They hugged and stared into each other’s eyes and looped arms like those girls did in the hallways of League City Intermediate before I decided to leave that school and go to a place with less arm looping and more tuition. You’re welcome, mom and dad.

What’s up with me and the run-on sentences today?

But really, it was sweet. And it reminded me a lot of you and me. We’re looping internet arms and staring longingly into each others’ web space… or something.  But then I thought, do you really know me? Sure you know me, I tell you things about me every day. But do you know me enough to be my BFF Friend Forever (not to be mistaken with Blog Friend 4 Ever, that role is already taken.) My assumption is no. Specifically because so many of you refer to me on your blogs or via google searches as “Chelsea from Roots and Wings” which is not actually my name. When you have a spare 2 minutes, click on the About Me tab there at the top. It’ll explain that my blog is actually a play on words, titled Roots and Rings (or R&R for short) and it’ll even tell you why I chose that name.

I’ve decided to nominate myself and, well, everyone in my life to answer your questions. In an effort to be your BFF Friend Forever (and more accurately, to have some fun) I’m opening up the floor. Ask away. Ask me or Stephen or my mom or my sister or my Blog Friend 4 Ever or Lyndsey. Anyone.

Stephen, why in the world do you pop Chelsea’s toes?

Momma, have you always had such cute glasses? Did you pick them out yourself?

Chelsea, tell us about this root.

Avery’s dad (Justin), how many poo diapers have you changed?

And so on. You are some of the funniest and most creative people I know… which makes me both scared and excited for my innocent family and friends (who are finding out about this at the exact same time you are, how fun is that???).

Maybe I’ll make a friendship bracelet for the person with the best questions. How’s that for incentive??