Model Behavior

June 30, 2009 at 9:26 am 14 comments

What does it mean to “have it all together”? Does anyone really have it all together??

I’m definitely not a model of a woman who has her stuff together. Those women are predictable and moral. They are well groomed, with great hair styles that are always perfectly done. They have clean homes, an organized planner, DVR for the few shows that they actually watch, they get enough sleep at night, they never drink too much or eat too much, they are in shape, and they have no problem making and keeping friends. Does she actually exist?

If she does, I imagine she’d be a lot like Jennifer Garner. Or Monica Geller.

But I don’t think she really exists. Like I said, I don’t think I have my life together, but it’s definitely not in shambles. But for as close as I am, here is a glimpse into my life to show you how far off I am.

Saturday morning I woke up at 10:00 am. It was glorious. I got out of bed and ate Nutella and strawberries on toast for breakfast. Also glorious. I decided it was time to work on the floors again. I grabbed a sports bra and the closest pair of shorts, they just happened to be baby blue cotton boxers that say “Wii” all over them. Since I was home alone and focusing on dirt specs on tile, I decided to wear my pirate patch. (A response to a question I will inevitably get: the patch is for vision therapy, not for fun.) After scrubbing tile, I began the giant task of cleaning out my closet. This is an exhausting task. At one point I came across a pair of heels that I’ve only worn a couple times. I couldn’t remember if they gave me blisters or were just generally uncomfortable. How do you figure it out? You wear them. So there I was, standing in my bedroom sorting through clothes… my hair in a messy ponytail, wearing a sports bra, boxers, a pirate patch, and high heels. Stephen walked in a very calmly asked, “Umm, what are you doing?”

My husband is a lucky man.

Later that night, Stephen and I came home from a wedding and settled into bed. He was dead tired from having too much to drink. So he went to bed. I was wide awake from having too much to drink. I turned on the television and giggled hysterically at old episodes of I Love Lucy. They just don’t make quality television like that anymore! I’ve got to say, I was proud of my choice to watch such a wholesome show. After a slight hiccup in my behavior that day, it seemed I could be well on my way to becoming an upstanding citizen.

Then I spent an hour last night watching two episodes of Chelsea Lately. And I’m back to square one.

Entry filed under: Chelsea, Television. Tags: , , , , , , .

Sweet Skills Ignorance is Bliss

14 Comments Add your own

  • 1. HoustonGurly  |  June 30, 2009 at 10:13 am

    If there are any women out there as perfect as you described, they’re either psycho or miserable from putting up a charade. It’s not realistic.

    LMAO – I could only imagine the expression on your hubbys face when he found you like that!

    I LOVE Chelsea Lately! I DVR every episode. (I can never stay up that late)

  • 2. Jimbo  |  June 30, 2009 at 11:37 am

    “Umm…what are you doing?”

    Classic! BTW, I’ve never eaten Nutella…what is it?

  • 3. Marissa  |  June 30, 2009 at 11:56 am

    I Love Lucy was such a great show! Makes me laugh every time!

  • 4. Lindsay  |  June 30, 2009 at 1:46 pm

    HAHAHA! I LOVE Chelsea Lately! I approve.

  • 5. Ashley  |  June 30, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    hahaha! While I don’t have a pirate patch I have been known to clean in some very lovely outfits while breaking in shoes — I’m sure The Boyfriend has had more than one “what are you doing” moments.

    Thanks for stopping by! I have decided to keep the table — it was such a steal at $60. And my mom made my curtains, I love them too!

  • 6. Debbie  |  June 30, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    1. I LOOOOVE nutella!! haven’t had it in forever and you just made me want to go buy some!🙂

    2. I literally just laughed out loud at the image of you standing in your patch, heels, and boxers….so funny!

    3. Monica Gellar would FOR SURE have it together! well, minus the one messy closet!😉

  • 7. Matt  |  June 30, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    That Chelsea Lately lady is a whack job.

  • 8. Ginger  |  June 30, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    @Jimbo: Nutella is a hazelnut-chocolate spread. It is the best ever with strawberries. And pretzels. And sometimes when you’re having a bad day you just eat it by itself. At least, I know I do!

    For some reason, whenever I watch Chelsea Lately, I get bored. According to my boyfriend it’s always “usually a lot funnier.”

    I have those shorts! Only mine are really long. I love them and wear them all the time.

  • 9. The Husband  |  June 30, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Hey! We’re watching Chelsea Lately right now! Is there a base line lower than square one?

  • 10. Rachel  |  June 30, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    OMG. I died laughing from this mental image. I think the pirate patch makes the whole pictureI could also imagine what Andrew would have said to finding me doing housework in a similar get-up, which made me laugh harder… Though part of me knows he would probably think it was supposed to be intended as some sort of turn on.
    I think I’ll bookmark this specific post for a rainy day. However, if you’d be willing to send me a picture of you in that outfit it would guarantee that Ill never go a day without laughing again.🙂 (BTW… I’m still giggling.)

  • 11. Chelsea Hurst  |  July 1, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Jim – I can’t believe you haven’t had Nutella. Go buy some tonight. It’s located next to the peanut butter.

    Rachel- The odds of me taking a picture of myself in that get-up are slim to none. Heavy on the none.

    Chelsea Lately is hilarious- but not moral. And Stephen pointed out that Monica Geller isn’t exactly a godly women either… She’s got the rest going for her though!

  • 12. Lauren From Texas  |  July 1, 2009 at 4:52 pm

    I was watching Chelsea Lately too. We have too much in common.

  • 13. Lisa Hendricks  |  July 2, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    Chelsea, you make me laugh with the visual pictures you paint through your writing! You remind me of Erma Bombeck, and I loved her! Thanks for making me laugh! Keep writing!!! Love you bunches

  • 14. osarah  |  July 4, 2009 at 9:19 am

    Love the Monica Gellar reference as well as the image of you standing there in that get-up when Stephen walked in🙂

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