Like It Is (Part 2)

September 23, 2010 at 7:34 am 11 comments

This is the second post in this two post series. If you missed Part 1 you can click here. Basically, this is an honest list of things you need to know about childbirth. In no way is this list meant to scare future moms. It’s purpose is actually the complete opposite… I want you to be prepared. NEWSFLASH: Some aspects of childbirth suck. If I’m the first to tell you that, well, you cannot be helped! Really though, it’s really not that bad. But if you scare easy, you shouldn’t read. All others, read on!

16. When people ask if Stephen stayed up by my face or down by my Baby Exit Zone, I wonder how they gave birth. Based on the position of my body as I was pushing, those places are so close that there isn’t much of an option. “Did he stay up by your face?” “Yes.” “Did he watch the whole thing?” “Yes.”

17. While in the hospital, you’re given some mesh undies. They are these one-size-fits-all thingies. They may look ridiculous but they are bliss. I wish I could wear them every day.

18. You bleed for weeks. Don’t like pads? Too bad!

19. Incase breastfeeding doesn’t suck enough, you also cramp while you feed. Your uterus literally contracts while you’re feeding. So you get to feel a very strong baby try to suck your boob off WHILE your entire belly aches.

20. Oh and you bleed while you breastfeed. And I don’t mean your boobs.

21. Stretch marks often show up AFTER you have the baby. I thought I only had two stretch marks. WRONGO.

22. Post pregnancy is much like your first trimester. You are always tired, seriously hungry, and if you don’t take stool softeners, you won’t poop for weeks.

23. Boobs leak. And they don’t care if there are visitors in the room. Around day 2 or 3, bra pads are extremely necessary.

24. All the pregnancy books tell you to pack this and that in your bag. I even went out and bought a nightgown and robe to bring with me. Not necessary. I lived in their gowns. I wasn’t about to ruin my new gown with all my blood and… other fluids. In my opinion, all you need is: socks, toiletries, an outfit to go home in, a sleeping nursing bra, bra pads, and some DVDs.

25. Don’t buy a nursing bra until you have the baby. There is no way of knowing what size your boobs will be ahead of time. (And don’t expect them to stay the same size from one hour to the next.) This excludes one sleeping bra. They are thin so just guess a size and it should work. You’ll want it once your boobs start behaving like a leaky faucet and you have to wear bra pads.

26. The first pee after childbirth is the longest pee of your life. It also takes a lot on concentration and it’s awkward because your nurse is there to help.

27. When they put your baby on your chest the very first time, it’s very odd. On one hand you want to hug him and stare at him. On the other hand, you are very aware that he is covered in white stuff and he’s still attached to something that is still inside you. So you kind of just lay there awkwardly while the rest goes down. And have no fear, your baby will look MUCH cuter in about 30 minutes.

28. Even when the seconds are slowly ticking and you’re on your second episode of Home Improvement and third episode of Cash Cab, time still flies. Take notes if you want to remember it.

29. The hospital runs on weird hours. They bring breakfast around 7:30 and dinner around 5:30. I don’t know why they think we function on those hours. Many a pot roast has been wasted because mommas aren’t ready for dinner at 5:30.

30. It’s a blur. It’s crazy. It’s not easy. But it is the best day of your life!

Entry filed under: Family, Jansen. Tags: , , .

Like It Is (Part 1) Seven Quick Takes

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Amanda  |  September 23, 2010 at 7:39 am

    These were fun to read, but I feel like my birth experience was COMPLETELY different! Lol. Also, I feel like high school sex ed classes should be more like this. 🙂

  • 2. Karen  |  September 23, 2010 at 7:47 am

    Whew! What a ride! LOL

  • 3. Erin  |  September 23, 2010 at 8:11 am

    #16 made me laugh out loud – it’ so true! My husband and mom were right up at my head and STILL watchd the entore show. Jeff only had to take 2 steps toward the “exit” to cut the cord.

    And, yeah, you don’t really get out of having a period for 9 months because they all come at ONCE as soon as the baby is born – mine didn’t stop until almost 6 weeks postpartum!

  • 4. Taryn  |  September 23, 2010 at 9:02 am

    Not to mention the fact that you can’t soak in a tub or go in a pool or the ocean for 6 weeks after giving birth… and if you’re c-section, you can’t even drive for 2 weeks!!

    #23… LOL. and double up on them at night, cuz the side you sleep on will leak more than the other! 🙂

    #27 – c-section moms don’t get the fun of the goopy baby… we just get to see gory pictures of our kids sticking out of our bellies, and then hear the story from our husband about how he saw our liver 🙂

  • 5. Tabaitha  |  September 23, 2010 at 9:09 am

    Love all of these. Another thing you might want to know if you have another:

    If you have more than one child, after each birth, the contractions to shrink your uterus while breastfeeding get worse, the more children you have. Those contractions were worse than my labor contractions.

    Also, you most likely will have to buy another nursing bra a few months from now. Your body will adjust to producing breastmilk as the baby starts to eat solids and they won’t need as much milk. Good chance, you will go down in size.

  • 6. timlinzrowland  |  September 23, 2010 at 11:34 am

    # 17 I agree with… they were the best!
    #19 would have been nice to know since my 3rd was my first to breastfeed, really I had no clue….it was almost as bad as the labor contractions.
    These were great to read especially after having gone through all this just 8 weeks ago!

  • 7. mom (Nana)  |  September 23, 2010 at 11:52 am

    Thanks T abaitha for sharing that info with my daughter – NOW I WON’T GET ANOTHER GRANDCHILD! 🙂 That was one bit of info I didn’t want to share, but since you did – I had 3 and breastfed all 3 and YES the contractions did get worse with each! But, look on the bright side, those contractions are WHY you lose your weight so fast! Woo Hoo!!!!

  • 8. Nora  |  September 23, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    i had no idea that your uterus contracts when you breastfeed. this is all so interesting. (seriously!)

    Thanks for taking the time to share it with us 🙂

  • 9. abby  |  September 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Thanks for the heads up. I think I’m going to make J read these two posts… I think he got a good eye-full in our birthing class, but you definately are more real than those videos:)

  • 10. Pippy  |  September 23, 2010 at 3:21 pm

    This list is so so true. Love the mesh panties, must have the stool softener, and it was a blur, but it was awesome.
    A big round of applause for yesterday & today’s post, I love them both!

  • 11. Breanna  |  March 2, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    LOL….I have been drilling it into my poor husbands head since the beginning of this pregnancy that he is to “stay up by my head”. You are totally right though….there isn’t going to be much difference at that point.

    ….I fear I am far too self-conscious for child-birth….

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September 2010


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