Loser 8.02: My Waterbed is Filled With Soda

September 23, 2009 at 9:11 am 18 comments

What a week, what a week! Good gosh I love this show.

Let me start with a couple housekeeping matters. First if you notice the title, it’s a different format than normal. I realized that “Loser Week ___” will be repeated each season. So the title includes the season. Plus, adding a “.” makes things cooler, don’t you think? Second, in case you aren’t used to my Loser posts, just know that they are long. All my posts are long, I know. But I have a word limit goal on my normal posts. I don’t make goals for Loser posts.

Back to the beginning. In the elimination room Alison told the remaining contestants that there was a new challenge this week. If they could lose 150 pounds as a group, nobody would have to go home. But if they didn’t, they’d have to send home 2 people. Bum bum bum… and the plot thickens. People (read: Shay) are immediately concerned that Julio isn’t going to pull his weight (pun definitely intended). And Coach Mo sits everyone down and gives them a good talkin’ to. You know, since he’s “the eldest.” Wow, that’ll get annoying! Dude, I don’t care if you’re the oldest or think you’re a good coach. (Said in whiney voice…) You’re not the boss of them!!

We see very quickly that this could come back to bite Coach Mo. We have a lot of personality around here. A lot of leaders. When they all gathered in the gym, about 75 people tried to tell Bob and Jillian about the 150 pound challenge. They looked like idiots. But the drama was not lost. Jillian put her hand on her hand like she’d just heard a great tragedy. Oh Jillian, chill the *%&$# out.

(Speaking of $*&#@, they cleaned up the language this week. They only cussed three times… if you consider “ass” a cuss word. Which, for the record, I do. If a kid shouldn’t be saying it, it’s a cuss word. But good for them. I know a lot of people are thrilled with that decision.)

This was the first week that we saw a glimpse into their classes. I was pleased to see that. That pleasure was immediately torn from me when Jillian took two contestants into the kitchen to do a quick Ziplock commercial. And OMG the Ziplock bag STANDS! (Visible eye roll.)

Tracey, or as my blog friend Amber calls her, “girl that crawled in sand,” is back. She’s cute as a button. (Can I say that about someone three times my size? I think so… She is cute!) She joined the rest of the crew on a trip to some fancy place that I forgot because I didn’t write it down. And they were met by Alison and chef Curtis Stone. (Side note: last year Curtis Stone came on the show and I had no clue who he was. A few of you gave me grief for not knowing him. It’s been months and months since he was on the season 7 episode and I haven’t seen his face since then. And I’m no stranger to food related television or magazines. So shut up people. It was better when Rocco was on.) Moving on. Curtis gave them some nutrition lessons and Alison gave them a quiz. If they could answer 5 of 8 questions correct, they’d get 15 pounds knocked off their 150 pound goal. They did it.

Now onto the real challenge. Picture if you will, a baseball diamond. Only not. Instead of bases there are 3 big platforms. And instead of baselines there are balance beams. And instead of grass and dirt there is water. So the contestants have to walk across the balance beam to the first platform, etc, etc, etc. The twist (there’s always a twist) is that the balance beams get skinnier each time. Also, you have to go as an entire group. Once the entire group in on the balance beam, they can file on to the platform. Once they are all on the platform, they can start on the next balance beam. And so on. Each platform won a prize. By the end, they’d won 20 extra pounds toward their goal and calls from home.

Oh dear, there were lots of tears during those calls. (This is where Stephen did what probably all male viewers did, “Ugh. Another crier.” And this is when I released the wrath of Chelsea and spit flames at him and told him that if he wanted to watch MY show with ME, he needed to shut his mouth. He did. Thank you babe!) These contestants are emotionally and physically worn out. The second they hear the family’s voice, they cry. It was especially touching to hear Sean talk to his pregnant wife who had just learned the sex of their baby.

Last chance workout was awesome. No vomit. No gallons of tears, only a couple quarts. I really like Shay… minus her intense beef with Julio. Shay, please don’t start drama. I can see you being one of those types. Hopefully Daniel will keep you sane. And also, let me just say that Rudy is a beast. BEAST. He lost 28 pounds last week and he lost 14 pounds this week. A-freakin-mazing. Watching him pull Jillian and Bob on the rope was impressive. I’m excited to see how he’s going to look in a couple months.

Finally on to the weigh-in. Alison looked smokin’ hot in her red dress. (By the way, what were they ever thinking by having Caroline Rhea host the show?? Mark that down on the list of ridiculous things Biggest Loser has done. Right next to all things Joelle.) They needed to lose 115 pounds as a group. The pink team starts them off by losing 4 and 6 pounds. Not good. Not good at all. Thankfully, all the other teams were able to pull big numbers and even surpass the 150 goal. Fantastic. Shay lost like 18 pounds. Julio lost something like 19. I was impressed.

Should be a sad week three. Thoughts or feelings?

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This Is Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It The Right Place at The Right Time

18 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Lauren From Texas  |  September 23, 2009 at 9:41 am

    Is it pathetic that I opened a text document beside your post so that I could type my thoughts as I read? Yes? Okay.

    I MISSED THE FIRST 12 MINUTES BECAUSE OF MY STUPID DVR so I missed Coach Mo’s “talkin’ to”… but honestly, he is one of my favorites. He’s so sweet! Especially when Tracy or whatever her name is was in the hospital for a thousand years.

    They totally cleaned up the language – I noticed that! Although Jillian seemed nicer, and I kind of missed the mean Jillian. I liked when she was all, “KILL HIM” to Bob re: Julio.

    JULIO ANNOYS ME. He seems whiney and like he doesn’t do the work. I know he obviously lost some weight, but he is still annoying to me.

    Totally picked up on the Ziploc bag commercial… also the clicky Sharpies. She like, paused as she clicked the Sharpie. Not kidding.

    The fancy place was the institute of longevity or something. I’m a huge help, I know. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO CURTIS STONE IS? Michael gets annoyed because I have a huge crush on him. I used to watch his show called “The Take Home Chef,” which was awesome.

    hahahahaha “And this is when I released the wrath of Chelsea and spit flames at him and told him that if he wanted to watch MY show with ME, he needed to shut his mouth.” I totally did the same thing with Michael. He kept rolling his eyes and I was BAWLING when Danny (or whatever his name is – the brown team dude who plays guitar) started talking about his family. BAWLING. So I told him to stop being a peanut gallery.

    I don’t like Shay… but I don’t like Julio either. They both seem whiney. Maybe I will pull a Jillian: “I’M BORED WITH YOUR PATHETIC STORY.” And how cute was Rudy yanking Jillian around on that rope?? It was almost like she was human for a few minutes.

    I could not STOP talking about how hot Alison looked! Loved her dress, loved her hair! I love that she is not super skinny. I also want to buy Michael and I matching leather jackets like Bob and Jillian. True story.

    This is a long comment but these are my thoughts and feelings. I can’t keep them locked away inside.

  • 2. Lindsay  |  September 23, 2009 at 9:57 am

    Still upset that I won’t get to see even ONE episode of this during this semester!!

  • 3. Karen  |  September 23, 2009 at 10:10 am

    I did not see much of the show last night, dad is in the hospital and not doing very well, please keep him in your prayers.

    I was proud of Julio, glad no one went home.

  • 4. DebbieQ  |  September 23, 2009 at 10:15 am

    OK, I am just saying that I am not really liking Shay but it is early. Did you see her face at the weigh-in when they found out that Julio lost 19 pounds. She looked like she had sucked down a big cup of lemon juice. Of course, I am not all that fond of Julio either for that matter.

  • 5. Caroline  |  September 23, 2009 at 11:40 am

    I am in love with Abby (the girl who lost her husband and kids). I don’t know how she does it. She makes me cry every time.

    I love “The Biggest Loser”! Fred said that Alison had slimmed down and I said, “Fred, she was pregnant last season.” Men!!!

    I am not sure what’s up with the leather jackets. Kinda weird. But, I love Jillian. I wish she would come and live with me and yell at me. I would be so thin!!

    Julio can go for all I care. Ugh!!!!

  • 6. Sarah  |  September 23, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    Ha! I am laughing at Lauren’s comment because I did the same thing!

    I don’t think Coach Mo is annoying. I think he is old & wise & I loved that he was trying to motivate everyone. If I didn’t think it was sincere, I would punch him in the face, but I think he is genuine. I loved when he visited Tracy in the hospital and ahe got all emotional. Adorable.

    Also, I don’t like that Jillian is all like “What was the challenge they gave you?” Jillian, let’s cut the crap. The producers warned you so you could be all dramatic. There is a reason you are a trainer and not an actress.

    They cleaned up the language and acted nicer in general, which I liked and think everyone will be more receptive to. I end up feeling all bad for the contestants when they are getting yelled at (except if they are being really whiney). Here is my question though: why do Bob and Jillian always wear leather to the weigh ins? Did I miss something?

    Julio is annoying, but I think Shay is too. She kind of reminds me of that girl that went home on the first episode. All whiny and nothing is her fault (even though she was talking about how her mom had died and was a crack head).

    Without a doubt it was a Ziploc commercial, but that didn’t really bother me that much. I like that Jillian was lecturing about how to make food choices/prep easy.

    Maybe California Health & Longevity Institute? I had know idea who Curtis Stone was. When he walked in, I was all “who the hell is this clown?” and I watch a lot of food based shows (even though I don’t cook).

    I am so glad other people have the “no talking during my show” rule in their house. But this rule only applies to my shows, not my fiancee’s. I got all teary eyed when the older white guy (who sounds like a Bubba kind of) was getting all emotional on the phone.

    I loved Rudy yanking Jillian on the rope and was cracking up when Bob was like “Pull Jillian!” and she goes “I Am!” Seriously. I thought I was going to die.

  • 7. timlinzrowland  |  September 23, 2009 at 1:22 pm

    I was able to watch 45 minutes of it last night….. better than last week when I caught none of it! I L.O.V.E. Alison and yes she looked very good in her red dress …..made me jealous! Thanks for the update on the show since I missed the first half!!

  • 8. Mom  |  September 23, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Dad and I did the same eye roll when Jillian did the ziploc commercial! Too funny! And we died laughing at the “Kill ‘Em” comment from Jill. – LOVED the tug-of-war scene. Too hilarious to watch Jill and Bob trying hard not to fly across the floor! And I am THRILLED the language was cleaned up – I even said “do they have to say ‘ass’ – can’t they say something else?” to your daddy….boy I am old! Glad no one had to go home and glad Tracy is out of the hospital and back – AND she lost 10 lbs by just walking!

  • 9. Lisa D  |  September 23, 2009 at 2:50 pm

    I’m so glad that they swore less this week. There is enough profanity out there on other shows – I’d prefer to keep this one clean. When they swore so much last week, they reminded me of 12 year old boys who just learned a bunch of 4 letter words and thought they looked cool using them. like every other word. Yah, not cool.

    Good assessment. I was happy to see that Shay has turned things around – after her hissy fit last week when she stormed off, I thought she was going to go on my hater list. So I am glad she’s really turned her ‘tude around!

    I think next week is going to be like the usual week 2 where people lose very little or gain, like Jillian had said at one point (I think?).

    So far, I don’t really ‘hate’ anyone. Yet.

  • 10. Stefanie  |  September 23, 2009 at 3:03 pm

    what do you think about the Red teams dance on the scale? Sean and the other guy….can you do that dance, and perhaps you should video yourself doing that dance and post it…that would be FUN!!!

  • 11. forthrightfattie  |  September 23, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    Glad to find some more BL junkies! Appreciate the recap–and agreed on the eyerolls at the commercials. We had Ziploc, BL protein, BL scales, and probably a few I missed.

  • 12. Jill  |  September 23, 2009 at 6:11 pm

    I didn’t watch BL (I still don’t have tv here…) but I’m just amazed that anyone can lose 28 lbs in a week! holy cow!

  • 13. d.a.r.  |  September 23, 2009 at 9:40 pm

    At least there is no Joelle this season!!!

  • 14. Kristin  |  September 24, 2009 at 1:43 am

    Does she call them buddy the whole time? I yell at her when she does that when I’m shredding.

  • 15. Amber Warren  |  September 25, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I think the girl who lost her family is “cute as a button” – but I agree that the “girl who crawled in the sand” is adorable too. Julio annoyed me far less on this show. I think he really is trying because he felt so stupid last time.

    Oh break – what was with the challenge? That was so retarded! They acted like it was the biggest deal in the world to cross the bars. I could have done summersaults all the way across. But I guess I’m not 350+ pounds either. But seriously – how are they going to start trapezing through the jungle like last season if they can’t even walk the plank without freaking out? Time will tell – but I’m guessing this batch of Losers is not as fearless and strong as last season. They all seem “soft” to me, and I don’t mean fat. I don’t see any aggressors. Any real competitors. They all want to play nicely with each other in the sandbox. I’m not sure why I’m complaining about that….but I kind of like cutthroat personalities on reality TV!!!

  • 16. Jodi  |  September 26, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Sorry I’m a few days late….:) The show was great. So far I love how they all worked as a team. I like that there isn’t any competition yet. I’m sure that will be happening too.

    Shay is on my friends list on Facebook. She posted that they were all freaking out because they saw rats in the water during the challenge. No one wanted to fall in. Also, since they are all home now and awaiting going back…she said she talked to Sean on the phone and him & his wife decided to name their daughter Jillian. How cute is that?

    The calls home were very heartwarming…especially Sean, Abby (the two butterflies thing) and Danny (when he talked to his daughter).

    My faves so far…I’m so torn. Gotta love Shay (minus the Julio thing), Sean, Abby, Danny and Rudy

  • 17. Jodi  |  September 26, 2009 at 10:31 pm

    One more thing…About the commercials..not only do we have to deal with the people at the ranch doing the Ziploc commercials, then because they are sponsors they have the real commercials in between. UGH! I’m just waiting to see how long it will take for them all to be chewing Extra sugarfree gum and take a field trip to Subway.

  • 18. Lyndsey  |  September 28, 2009 at 10:39 am

    My waterbed is filled with soda almost made me fall off the couch i was laughing so hard. And when curtis said “get your hands off my soda man.” I laughed pretty hard too.

    I LOVE Curtis Stone. He is SOOOO pretty and that accent??? OMG! I love him. He has/had the show Take Home Chef.

    I really dislike Julio (but of course the producers want me to dislike him) and I like shay. She and Daniel could be a really fun team.

    I am glad they didnt tell Abby’s story again this week. A)because i didnt want to lay on the floor and cry again and B) because they could wear us out on one person’s story.

    I like coach Mo. But you are totally right. That could go either way… we could love him or be annoyed by him.

    I kinda loved the leather Jullian and Bob thing they had going, and I am LOVING them working together to Kill Julio or do tug of war.

    It was SO cool that they were able to complete both challenges. I think having them all work as a team the second week was an amazing twist this season. It reminded me of the bicycle challenge (last season?).

    The biggest loser really has mastered the art of product placement. I mean can you honestly tell me that you dont want that scale, the ziploc bags, the gum, and of course the protein powder? I want it ALL… and I was subway for dinner. Even though you know what they are doing to your brain it is hard to resist. Of course this is coming from a girl with a infomercial addiction. For some reason I can’t fast forward through the product placement and it doesnt annoy me even a fraction as much as Fox Sports! I swear they sponsor every drive.

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